


The Five of Them (But Really Only Two)

by Amalspach, CrystalHeartZyx



Series: Them [1]
Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M, way too many OCs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 08:54:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 168,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19247917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amalspach/pseuds/Amalspach, https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalHeartZyx/pseuds/CrystalHeartZyx
Summary: The five of them were an unlikely group. A Shadowhunter, a warlock, a vampire, a werewolf, and a faerie. Hunter loved them all, even when they were annoying and intolerable at times. So why did it have to be the faerie that he fell in love with! References to main characters, The Shadowhunter Academy, but mostly a completely separate story. Enter at your own risk.This story is also posted as the story "We All Fall Down (At Least We Tried)" by Amalspach on her Ao3 page because she had an Ao3 account before I did. Her tags are funnier than mine.





	1. Here We Go Again

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [We All Fall Down (At Least We Tried)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14992274) by [Amalspach](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amalspach/pseuds/Amalspach), [CrystalHeartZyx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalHeartZyx/pseuds/CrystalHeartZyx). 



> This was co-written by my good friend Amalspach - meaning she did a ton of editing and is now emotionally attached to this story. I wrote this after I read Lady Midnight and Tales From the Shadowhunter Academy, so they'll be references, but it won't directly follow the storyline, for a while, at least. (I admit that I kinda, maybe, sorta, based this off of Kieran and Mark. I ship them, sorry Cristina). I do not own Cassandra Claire's universe, only my characters.
> 
> Enjoy! :)

"Die in a ditch!" Pyre screeched.

"You first, it was your stupid idea!" Wolf combatted, baring his teeth. "You're insufferable!"

The five of them hadn't always been friends. Most days, it still seemed like they weren't.

There were times they'd get fed up with each other's cautious personalities. Fae was always cryptic and defensive, Pyre and Wolf always snarkily bantered and leaped at the opportunity to pick fights, Lock was constantly fed up dealing with everyone, and Hunter was often just quiet, the eye of the storm.

"Your constant bickering has grown intolerable," Fae said. "If this is all you will offer for this encounter, I shall take my leave."

Fae was a faerie, and one of the Wild Hunt, no less. He was often the most serious and literal of them, and in all honesty, he was also the only one with tolerable traits. His hair shifted colors according to his emotional state, going from black when he was in a foul mood to a dark blood red, a shining crimson, a bright orange, and transitioning all the way to blonde when he was satisfied or in a good mood. He had the normal sharp features of a faerie creature and elf-like ears. The Hunt had given him a black eye and a silver one, which could become disconcerting if he gave a glare - or just looked at someone too long. It was hard to tell what went on in his head, but he spoke blunt truths like the rest of his kind. How or why he tolerated the rest of them remained a mystery even now.

"He started it," Pyre snapped.

She was a vampire, turned about a century ago, but she had remained just as young and angsty as any other teenager. She was actually in her twenties physically, but blood and makeup helped make her look below drinking age. She had never liked anyone, but at the same time, she never left the group. Fae guessed that she was lonely, and upon hearing that little thought, she had gone on a rampage, proving that she would rather punch her feelings away than talk about crippling emotional problems. Fae, who was smart, strong, and resourceful enough to be in the Hunt, was easily able to handle himself, but when Pyre finally calmed, she didn't say a thing, even as Fae added that her reaction proved him right. And yet this didn't change anything; all of them were lonely. All of them knew it, and that's why they came when one of them called. Yet hiding emotions tended to end the same way 98% of the time.

In short, Pyre was stubborn to a fault and remained as fierce as she was beautiful and fiesty. She simply couldn't  _stand_  being the damsel in distress, no matter what the situation demanded of her. Sad as it was, this dispute had erupted because Wolf had the  _audacity_  to take out a mundane bent on eliminating supernatural creatures. He had poisoned his bloodstream and made a slit down his arm, waiting for any unsuspecting Downworlders to come and take a bite.

With his enhanced sense of smell, one of the few advantages to being a werewolf, he had easily recognized that the idiot's blood was tainted (Didn't he know that foreign chemicals in the body would kill him? Perhaps he was so devoted to killing monsters he no longer cared if his life was forfeit; that was typical mundane stupidity at its finest, there) and endeavored to kill the man himself. Pyre hadn't eaten in several days and was far too hungry to think clearly. As it turned out, the stranger had a silver knife tucked up his sleeve, so if the creature failed to drop dead quick enough or didn't take the bait, there was another way to finish the job. This, rather predictably, had evolved into an all-out battle, which ended with the foolish man dead and Wolf heaving, a lucky slice to the side matting his calf with blood, while Pyre stood off to the side in self-righteous fury, hands clenched and having barely gotten the opportunity to do a thing.

"So it's  _my_  fault you got in trouble," Wolf retorted. "Well, I'm sorry for saving your life, Fangs. Next time, I'll just leave you to feed on the man who tried to kill you with poisonous blood. Weren't you ever told not to take candy from strangers?"

"I  _had_  it  _under control_ , Wolf, I don't need a babysitter!"

"Please. You were so ravenous you could barely see straight," he barked, running a furious hand through his hair as though trying to calm himself down.

Wolf, as already state, was a werewolf with an attitude problem rivaling Pyre. He was a former human wrestler, so he liked fighting without his claws. He was strong, but he head-butted the problem when it got too enraging. He was a loyal soldier in his pack but was also a very self assured individual who often thought his way was better than everyone else's. Sometimes he listened, sometimes he didn't. But, like most wolves, he wasn't a big fan of vampires, and though she was an exception, Pyre's constant provokation failed to help. They had yet to kill each other yet, but sometimes the others felt certain it was only a matter of time.

The remainder of the group also thought that maybe their constant clashes had something to do with 'unresolved sexual tension,' or something of the sort, but the trio would rather stab themselves than reveal this to Pyre and Wolf. It would be a substantially less painful death.

"I would've been fine," Pyre argued. "I would've known something was wrong and torn him apart  _without_ you!"

"One bite and you would've been very ill for weeks at the very least," Wolf corrected. "I apologize for looking out for a friend!"

"This friend doesn't need your pity!"

"She didn't deny the friend thing, at least," Hunter muttered to Fae.

Both took in the heated argument with something akin to detached interest; they'd heard this shtick a thousand times before. How  _dare_  the group stick together and defend one another, honestly.

"Indeed," Fae nodded.

Hunter was a shy and introverted Shadowhunter. He didn't like being expected to do great things, but when he first found the group of Downworlders that still helped him despite his people's reputation, even if they were bitter about it at first, he showed that he was powerful in his own respect. Hunter was intelligent and could handle himself in a fight, but he proved to be more passionate about music than anything else. Fae voiced his approval, and Hunter felt closer to their mismatched group than he had ever been to his family, even though they could be a bit crazy here. Hunter was quiet when things got heated or when they were talking about Downworlder business he didn't understand, but he was taking mental notes and learning the entire time. Once, after a particularly silencing argument where no one knew what to say, Hunter started strumming a guitar he brought and sang, pretending no one was listening. No one had said anything, but everyone had smiled in approval - even Pyre and Wolf, though they were trying to hide it. Now, he played whenever an argument was going on, practicing when there was background noise, and no one gave him much attention, to his relief. These were the only people he could be his true self around, and they never judged his playing - like his parents, for example.

"I'm too tired for this," Lock sighed from his position beside Hunter, sitting while kneading his forehead in order to stave off an oncoming migraine. He pinched the bridge of his nose and gave a small groan. "I was working a job, there was an annoying demon, an even more annoying customer, and now these two."

Lock was a High Warlock like no other, as his business catered to Downworlders and Shadowhunters alike, despite his high prices. He'd learned from the well-known Magnus Bane - apparently he'd been taught the ways of being a warlock by Bane and wouldn't have survived without him. Now, Lock was a successful High Warlock, glamoured to hide the fact that his skin was scaled, green shades lightly mixed with his regular tan color in patches. They seemed to shimmer and sparkle at the right angles, and he'd been told that he'd be good at parties. Lock could let his glamour down when he was with his friends, and they said his Warlock Mark was cool - Wolf once said Magnus should be jealous since Lock could sparkle all on his own.

"Perhaps Hunter can play his tunes," Fae suggested. "Music of his kind can calm the wrath of such pain."

Hunter looked embarrassed. "W-Well I wouldn't say I'm…I guess…s-sure I have one song I've been working on."

Hunter didn't respond well to being directly asked to perform, but Fae had little tolerance for such weakness. The faerie couldn't comprehend pure mortal embarrassment the way humans could, and his solution was always to push. If someone needed to get over their fears, confronting them was the only way to do so. Hunter, as well as the others, understood Fae only had the best interests at heart, and the Hunt had taught him that confrontation was the most logical choice. Subtly was not his forte.

Hunter played some experimental songs, and Lock made sure not to look over to watch, since Hunter only played well when he felt no one could see him - even if they could still hear. Fae, at least, respected this part of Hunter's feelings, but who knew when Fae would change that? Hunter couldn't be coddled forever.

"Stay out of my business, mutt!" Pyre spat.

"A simple 'Thank you for saving my ass' would have sufficed!" Wolf snarled, throwing out an arm as though to emphasize his point.

She rolled her murderous eyes. "At least my helpless ass doesn't have a stick shoved up it!"

On the sidelines, Lock resisted the urge to sigh. "Whose turn is it to break them up?" the warlock asked, shaking his head.

"I believe it is yours," Fae said. "However, I would be willing to assist if you are too exhausted."

"Thanks, 'preciate it." He snapped his fingers, causing both arguing parties to lose their voices.

Wolf looked exceptionally huffy, while Pyre stomped her black-boot clad feet as though she was ready to straight-up kill someone. She might have, really. She was desperate enough for blood, and though she appeared innocent enough to the average mortal in dark skinny jeans, her signature combat boots, a scarlet blouse and a leather jacket, she was more than capable of casual murder, even if it wasn't usually her style.

"Pyre, hon, you need to calm down. You're hungry and not thinking straight. Get a grip and let's have a civilized conversation. You can hunt later on once you're not smelling the bloody fumes of the recently deceased," Lock told her, almost as if he was speaking to a small child.

She flipped him off but pursed her lips, considering his words.

"Wolf, she's a big bad vampire who can stand on her own two feet. You don't need to push her to the side. Pyre was handling herself just fine before you came along to fight all her battles. Okay?"

The werewolf dramatically rolled his eyes but shook his head.

"Great. Now I'm gonna let you both talk again, but I swear to the angel if you start up again today I will banish both of you to the very bowels of hell. Understand?"

They silently agreed.

"Nice. I just love it when we're all on the same page."

With a snort from Hunter, still bent over his instrument and trying to focus on playing instead, Lock released them. Pyre shifted her jaw experimentally, as if the return of her voice had reset the planes of her face. Slowly, new conversations evolved, minus the barbs.

Hunter watched as the four Downworlders got into a conversation about Downworlder lore, almost using their history and politics as a method of indirectly showing off. Each liked to remind the rest of their abilities and skills, and it was quite amusing. Downworlders were certainly more entertaining than Shadowhunters. They were diverse, surviving without relying on runes, and they were, quite honestly, a lot cooler. Yet another reason why he didn't belong amongst his kind.

Lock's warlock abilities allowed him to do just sort of everything he wanted, plus he knew potions for anything else. He was bold and eccentric, and had a few centuries of experience under his belt. Pyre could move faster than any human, nearly too fast to keep track of, while still being as quiet as the encroaching night. Her taste for blood made her seem badass, along with her encanto ability and her feminine wiles, which pretty much enabled her to get anything she wanted from boys and girls alike. Wolf had a heightened sense of smell and hearing, natural survival instincts, and not-too-shabby speed, even if Pyre could leave him in the dust. His transformation was awesome, his strength was slightly better than average, and he could summon his claws and teeth even in human form. Fae was a natural hunter, accustomed to survival of the fittest, able to sense lies from anyone (though that wasn't necessarily a guarantee, he was just used to seeing truths vs lies), survive with little provisions, fight even when outnumbered, and on top of that he knew how to win an argument without letting any personal feelings show (which wasn't really a superpower, and yet being an impartial party was a rare trait in any species it seemed). He was skilled on horseback with a bow and arrow, along with a spear for close quarters, and if he got really mad, he said he could control elements because of his mother. Really, there was no telling what he could do. The full extent of his abilities was still a mystery, even to his closest confidants.

All of them were so unique, while all Shadowhunters had were runes and an oppressive government. Not all Shadowhunters were absolute jerks, of course, but the ones that were had the most power, which was true of almost every reigning system. Absolute power tends to corrupt absolutely, after all. They claimed it was for the best, to keep bad apples from going rogue, but all they did is fan the flames of rage, encourage segregation, and repeat the same societal wrongs - if they even admit to their mistakes in the first place. Case in point: Valentine.

Hunter saw these Downworlders at their best and worse, and wondered why blood is the only thing that deems them evil. In the end, if the Downworlders  _do_  rebel, it's the Clave's own fault for not looking to actually get to know them and experience their culture firsthand.

"I must return to the Hunt," Fae announced after a while, blinking his ever-colored eyes. "My absence will begin to draw suspicion should I remain."

"We'll see you next time, Fae," Lock said, stretching. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Never a concern of mine," the faerie muttered wryly.

It  _was_ approaching sundown, and they had been together for several hours even before the big incident of the day, yet he continued to linger, obviously reluctant to return home.

"I should get back to my pack," Wolf agreed, gesturing to where Fae had been standing. "They've got to be expecting me by now."

"Peace out, losers, I've got a party to attend," Pyre declared, determined to leave before him (probably out of the fear that they would think she was ditching the group because he wasn't there), turning and speeding down a tunnel.

The werewolf growled lowly at the place where she had been, resolving to wait a little longer so it didn't look as if she'd gotten to him. She had, as always. The others happily ignored that fact to save face.

They met in an underground system of tunnels, each person coming from a different direction. It gave them many escapes should they have attackers, and made sure they could all go through different routes to not be seen together. They weren't exactly an illegal group, but it was mostly a matter of pride. This was a whole 'nother world than their separate ones, and keeping the two worlds for each of the apart was important. They could be themselves here, and if anyone could crash this place of sanctuary, it'd be like a part of their lives was obliterated.

"I should get back to the Institute," Hunter said.

Lock sighed. "I guess I'll just spend my evening alone."

"You should take the opportunity to regain your strength," Fae advised.

"Regain my strength and also binge-watch Netflix."

Fae probably had no idea what that was, but he said nothing and kept a straight face.

"Netflix?" Hunter asked, cocking his head.

It was sometimes easy to forget that Hunter had been raised in an Institute all his life. Even though he had some experience with the mundane world, he was still clueless about the vast majority of things. From the small pieces of information he was willing to share, his father was a fairly strict person, pushing him to be a strong Shadowhunter, and subsequently hated his musical talents because they were a distraction.

"Oh, we have much to teach you, young grasshopper," Wolf joked.

"Grasshopper?" Fae asked, now raising an eyebrow.

"It's an expression meaning 'Beginner,'" Lock explained. "It involves ninjas and stuff."

Fae nodded in understanding before turning and putting his fingers in his mouth. He let out a loud whistle and his steed came flying in through one of the tunnels. His mount was a midnight-black horse, shimmering with silver wisps of magic. His mane was black with dark-red highlights, and as he turned, the silver parts of his hair swept across him as the angle changed. He was both terrifying and mesmerizing at the same time. Fae was graceful as he effortlessly swung his leg over the horse's back, the muscle-memory drilled into his system from years of experience.

Hunter stared. He'd always wondered what it was like, riding atop such a powerful beast, having complete trust in each other as they rode to battle - or merely went running for the thrill of it. He had learned about parabatai, but a horse, or any animal, really, felt different, he assumed. It was a trust born without magic, without a bond that didn't allow them to part - it was completely voluntary, strong because it had to be and not because it was locked into place.

Fae caught Hunter staring, and Hunter quickly diverted his attention to packing his guitar. Hopefully he hadn't looked too stupid.

"Until next we meet," Fae saluted, before his horse turned and sped away.

Hunter tried not to look too hard at the place where he and his stead had just been standing.

"See you all later," Lock waved, before opening a portal and disappearing through.

"Bye, kid," Wolf said simply as he walked down his tunnel, not bothering to draw out the end of their conversation. There was always tomorrow.

Hunter grabbed his guitar case and headed back to the Institute. As always, he hid his guitar under his bed and headed to the training room, brushing the dust from the tunnels off his casual t-shirt and black pants. Like every day he snuck out, he was half surprised he had gotten away with his clandestine meeting, especially with an easy-to-recognize package. Within the hallowed confines of the training room he threw knives today, getting faster but less accurate in turn. Something to be distracted working on, he figured.

"Finn!"

He looked up at his name. Hunter was just the alias he used when meeting with the Downworlders - their names were as well. Pyre was short for vampire, Wolf was short for werewolf, Lock was short for warlock, Fae was short for Faerie, and Hunter was short for Shadowhunter. It was silly, yeah, but if any of them got caught sneaking around then they would have less information about the others to surrender.

His childhood friend and fellow Shadowhunter Selina came walking in, a warm smile on her face. As per usual, her silvery eyes were drawn with crinkles and framed by her icy blonde ponytail, her milky complexion marred only by the lumpy crescent on her shoulder: the odd birthmark that earned her her name. "Hey, I've been looking for you all day."

"I was out. Did something come up?"

"Nothing we couldn't handle without you," she assured, brushing imaginary dirt off her sleeve.

He didn't always believe her - Li had a habit of downplaying any injuries so as not to worry them - but today she seemed perfectly fine, which was a welcome relief. They were just as close as actual siblings, and though she insisted that she could survive 'little scratches, Finn, I'm alright', it never stopped him from worrying.

"Where did you go out to?"

Ah. Shoot.

"Some friends were meeting up."

"Where?"

"The pub," He deadpanned.

"The pub. Yes, because you're the wild and excitable drinking type," she said, eyes narrowing. "Which friends?"

"You wouldn't know them."

He's bad at lying, alright? It wasn't that he didn't trust her; he probably should have told Selina a long time ago, but it always felt like his secret, the only thing he could keep to himself in a place where so much of his life experiences had been shared with them. Except, of course, from Mer, but that was when he'd learned his lesson. Let's just say that telling her had ended in a big and overcomplicated argument before Merida finally gave in and believed that the Downworlders didn't mean him any harm.

Selina looked ready to ask for more, but thankfully Finn was rescued by his sister. "Li, stop interrogating him. He was out on duty with classified info he's not allowed to share. He's already told you too much, so if you don't want to get him in trouble, back off."

Selina gave a skeptical look, thin eyebrows arching beneath her blonde bangs, but Finn's twin sister Merida knew how to win an argument with her stare alone. Besides, Li knew their boundaries and recognized when prying became bothersome on a personal level.

She sighed, placing her pale hands back on her hips. "Sorry. I'm just concerned about you. Your parents are coming this week, and we all know how fun they are."

Finn groaned in turn, running his fingers through the tips of his orange locks. "Don't remind me."

"Just try and stay out of trouble, okay Finn? We don't need another lecture about the law and responsibility just because we want to go talk to a friend or something stupidly small."

"Still have scars from all the tongue lashings we got," he replied, cracking a tiny smile.

They all laughed together as Merida grabbed her brother's arm. "Selina, can I talk to Finn alone for a moment?"

"Sure, I'll just take a walk. Don't hold up," she said, waving.

She headed out, and once out of range, his sister sighed, her long orange curls falling into her face. "You were meeting with Downworlders again, weren't you?"

Finn rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know, but they're my friends, Mer."

"Look, I've got nothing against Downworlders -"

"Really?"

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay, not  _yours_  anyways. I'm not going to lock you in the Institute and rat you out to the adults. But I'm worried about what happens if someone else finds out - especially Dad."

"I know, I know. It's just . . . I don't understand what's so wrong about being friends with Downworlders. They're people - different, but not anymore evil than the rest of us. Those treated as monsters become monsters in turn. It's not like their blood makes them bad, it's our treatment of them. Shadowhunters still somehow believe that we're somehow better and more official than Downworlders."

"I'd love to say that we could get the Clave to see reason through statements like that, but we're the minority, sympathizers like us." Her green eyes, identical to his in nearly every way, gleamed in empathy. "The world won't be so kind if they find out."

"But change can come. After the Dark War, Clary and the others who saved us have a bigger voice, right? The Shadowhunter Academy is opening again, the Downworlders who fought in the war are becoming known as heroes. One way or another, things  _have_  to get better eventually."

"I won't argue, but I also won't say it's going to be quick," she warned. "All species have their quirks that make the others weary. That kind of acceptance takes time. Even the mundanes have segregation, and though they've made progress, they still have those that remain pro-fascism."

"Can't win 'em all, isn't that how it goes? I'm not asking to win them all, I just want to be able to press this one thing," he said, voice edging on desperate. "Well, the only way to make change is to go out and do something. Can't do anything without a little effort, right?"

Merida chuckled wryly, patting his arm fondly. "Keep that attitude, little brother. But don't get into any trouble, and be more careful. If any of our parents find out, you'll never hear the end of it and won't be allowed to leave the Institute for the rest of your life."

"Don't remind me. But thanks, Mer."

"Any time, Finnegan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title inspired by 'Animal' by Neon Trees


	2. Our Friends Will All Make Fun of Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned to switch between the five POVs before realizing that would be a little too much hassle, especially when I have a main focus (hence the title of this story). After we come full circle again, there won't be much in Wolf, Pyre, or even Lock's categories, unless it's requested or inspiration comes to me.

Fae wasn't a troublemaker. He showed no mercy to those who stepped out of line, and he was the hardest on his brother. However, even the most law-abiding of citizens has a grain of hypocrisy embedded in the system. In the end, he himself was misbehaving when he went out to his meetings with the other Downworlders. Especially with the Cold Peace, but also because of his status in the Hunt, meeting with them - Hunter in particular - was asking for trouble. But Fae was careful - he'd grown up being careful, in a world where manipulating truth was a daily occurrence and, more often than not, encouraged.

"Fionn," Gwyn greeted. "I trust the hunt was successful?"

"Indeed."

Fae went out of his way to capture and kill many beasts to excuse his absence. On top of the fact that he was royalty - son of the Unseelie King - he had proven to Gwyn his loyalty and dedication, granting him his freedom to split off from the Hunt when he desired. He didn't do it often enough to draw suspicion, but he also didn't make the trips rare - whether he was having a meeting with the others or not. Keeping one's sanity in a world where conversation itself was a sport and magic run rampant was key in maintaining a balanced mind, and frankly some alone time was much needed in order to sort through his thoughts.

"I trust my brother is in good health?"

"Yes," he responded, absentmindedly waving a hand. "You are dismissed."

Fae headed out to search for his little brother, Kieran. Initially, it Kieran had merely been thrown to the Hunt because their father and half-brothers had feared his popularity. Fae hadn't hesitated on insisting he go as well. ' _I will follow my brother to look after him_ ,' he had declared firmly. Whether or not their father had believed his hints at a denial of personal affections, he hadn't protested. Fae knew how to come off as a hard and ruthless person, but despite how he showed it, he really did care about his brother. If Kieran understood, he kept his feelings on the matter hidden as well.

The sun had begun to set, shadows dancing across the makeshift campsite the Hunt had made for the night. Fae spotted Kieran's and made his way over. Along the way, he received greetings from the other men.

"Fionn! You're looking well."

"How was the hunt, Flann?"

"Flann! You're back!"

"Hey, Fionn!"

All the voices tended to blur together after a while, he'd found.

Because of Fae's constantly color-changing hair, he went from blonde, to red, to even black when he was  _extremely_  angered. Fionn meant 'blonde' or 'white-haired' depending on his good mood, while Flann meant 'red-haired' or just 'red' for his foul moods. Since he was little, the two names could be used interchangeably. Often he simple went by "Fionn Flann," along with his titles of 'Kingson,' 'Hunter,' 'Princeling,' and the name he was taunted with my his father and his half-brothers by association: 'Dearil' - 'Call of death' (or 'red-haired,' but that only emphasized why it was his nickname). In essence, they taunted him with the constant reminder of the death he brings and the deaths he's caused. Fae didn't know if his brothers knew the full extent of the name related to his past, but his father did. It was all Fae could do to keep his father from gaining ever more leverage against him. Going to the Hunt actually proved useful in that respect, getting hm away from his every leering gaze.

He called out for his kin. "Brother, how -?"

But Kieran was not within his shelter. Fae knew his brother's handywork by heart, so he hadn't mistaken the location. Instantly, Fae knew where his brother must be. He went to the Blackthorn boy's residence and found Kieran aiding the half-faerie, half-Shadowhunter put the cloaks over a cairn of stones.

"You must remember to -"

"Kieran," Fae interrupted as Kieran explained to the boy - Mark, was it? - how to properly set up the shelter.

"Fionn," Kieran greeted, sobering up.

Fae had noticed that Kieran's hair lightened to a shade of blue Fae had never seen before. He was at a level of happiness that Fae knew he could never be responsible for, and it made him surge with jealousy, but also sadness. There would never be a time that Fae could simply be a protective older brother that spoiled Kieran and made him smile. The only way to help Kieran was to be tough on him, to force him to adapt to this strict lifestyle and then give him chances to prove his abilities. Fae had to respect his brother, to make sure others would respect Kieran, not love him. Love came second here. And secretly, Fae wished things could be just a little bit different. Yet at the same time, some wishes were best left alone, lest you become miserable longing for a reality you cannot achieve. The present life he had would have to do, and at the very least, he had a stable plan to survive for now.

"Do not coddle him too much," Fae ordered. "He must learn like we all do - through our own experience and failures. If he becomes too dependant on help, he will not grow strong enough to hold his own here - he will not be respected. And without respect, he shall only be in worse condition."

Kieran nodded his head. "I am aware."

"Good. Now, finish quickly, else you draw the eye of one less lenient."

A smirk fought its way across Kieran's face, but he held it down at the last moment. His hair brightened in relaxation, and Fae was conflicted on whether he wanted to allow Kieran to do as he pleased more often, or halt this dangerous path before Kieran walked off the metaphorical cliff.

Fae left Kieran and Mark, knowing and proud of Mark's weariness of him. He was still unsure of how he felt about the half-breed, but Kieran had been fascinated the moment he'd seen the boy. Fae had assumed it was pity - the brothers knew what it was like to be ostracized and abandoned to the Wild Hunt, but Mark had not a brother by his side. However, Fae quickly learned that Kieran was becoming more attached each day, helping Mark after he was beat for still considering himself a Shadowhunter. That was the moment that Fae began to have respect for Mark and actually considered allowing Kieran to pursue the boy.

Normally, Fae would've instantly demanded Kieran forget his foolish fetish, but when Fae saw how Mark refused to give up his title despite the consequences, Fae saw a man who was everything Fae wanted to be - unafraid to declare his true feelings with nothing left to lose. Fae had to protect his brother here in the Hunt, in all of Faerieland, but Mark's family was away from this life, safe. Mark had only one place to go - up. When Fae saw Kieran happy with Mark, he couldn't bring himself to oppose the relationship that bloomed. Albeit Mark seemed to not realize Kieran's affections despite how blatant he was being. Kieran had done everything short of stating his feelings aloud - giving the boy food and water and helping him after he was injured. By the gods, they were even riding together during hunts now. Kieran had taken Mark on many adventures when they had free time, teaching him about nature in a way that Mark never would've been able to see as a Shadowhunter. Fae had learned about courtship before, and Kieran was definitely doing so. Then again, Kieran wanted to respect Mark's feelings. As a prisoner of Faerie, trapped in the Hunt and unable to return to his family after being tricked into believing they were dead through means of Faerie torture, Mark would no doubt hold resentment towards their kind. Mark couldn't run for fear of the Hunt destroying his family, and it was entirely possible that he only cared about Kieran because Kieran made his life there easier.

"Take caution, brother," He warned when Kieran finally returned.

"I will," Kieran promised. "I  _am_."

"I believe that you believe so. But I shall be there to pick up the pieces should your clouded judgement slip up."

"I understand full well what I shall lose should something occur that demands punishment. I would not subject Mark to my negligence."

"I should hope not, Kieran. I taught you all you know, and your failure would look to be mine as well."

Kieran scoffed with a small smirk. "You care for naught but our image, Fionn."

"Indeed," He replied with the same face.

Translation: thank you for protecting me so.

"Where did your journey take you today?" Kieran asked.

Fae waved casually. "A mere hunt. Nothing I haven't done before."

"So you had much time?"

"No. There were arguments between Pyre and Wolf that took up the majority of the evening. Lock was tired and Hunter played. It was far from a memorable encounter."

"What of Hunter?" he questioned further, obviously curious.

"What of him?"

"He always has the most interesting tales of melodies, no?"

"Ah, yes, I prompted his tunes and he gave a soft song on his instrument. I can't fathom why he still fears to begin, but is completely content as he continues. We are nothing to fear, after all, and he is talented. It was a welcome contrast to the constant bickering and Lock's aching of the head."

"What other talents of Shadowhunter culture have you learned of?"

"Hunter's musical aspirations appear to be looked down upon by his people."

"The Clave is quite malicious to its followers."

"Indeed."

* * *

"Wolf arrived at the bar and waved over Maia, who he'd arranged to meet.

"Hey, how've you been?" he greeted.

"Doing well, but being pack leader is tiring. Lily and I have been working with Alec nonstop to resolve a lot of issues." She pulled out his chair. "You're late."

"You'll live. It was twenty minutes, alright?" he insisted, settling down next to her. "And as for my opinion, Lily's not as bad as she could be. At least she's willing to work with you guys."

Maia grinned mischievously. "And what makes you say that? Has somebody been softening you up, Mr. Progression-Is-The-Order-Of-The-Day?"

With a scowl, the werewolf swatted her away. " _No_ , shut up." He hid the red of his ears behind a glass. "One of these days, I'll kill you. Just keep pushing, Mai."

"You could try," she sighed, glancing at her nails in an unassuming way. "I mean, you'd fail, but you could try." His frown only deepened. "By the way, denial only works against you. You get so fired up about things that it only gives you away. I would seriously bet a thousand steaks that you have a specific girl in mind right now."

He grumbled, his shoulders sinking lower. "Maia, I hate you. Why are we friends?"

She shrugged, her brown hair bobbing over her shoulders. "Because you claim to hate everybody else, too, and I'd like to imagine you hate me a little less. We all mess with each other, squirt. We're just one big, happy, slightly undead and dysfunctional family. You're the sour-faced little brother."

Maia bopped him on the nose as if to emphasize her point. In response, Eric groaned. "Joy. Really. That's great."

"Not as great as your nonexistent girlfriend, I'm sure, but I can't exactly judge." He opened his mouth as if to argue and she cut him off. "I didn't say I  _don't_  judge, I just implied I probably shouldn't. But it's kind of fun to mess with you. And, since messing with you is the order of the day, where have you been?"

"Meeting with friends," he answered without answering, downing another sip.

"The same friends you refuse to speak of every time you're asked?"

"Yup."

"Honestly, what could be so secretive? It's not like meeting with a Shadowhunter isn't already something me and Lily aren't doing with Alec." She smirked, taking another swig of her glass. "Unless, of course, secret girlfriend is with them."

He cheerfully ignored that part. "It's not really forbidden, but it was once looked down upon. We've had few bonds long before the wars, Valentine, and all that. Call it a tradition, and if anyone else disturbs it, it'll be like our shared secret was given away, our safe haven wasn't safe anymore. Even if I wanted to speak, it's not my place to say anything without the others' consent."

"Hey, hey, I get it. We all need to get away sometimes, and if someone found my safe-spot, I'd be bummed too." She sighed, rubbing her temple. "I'd go insane if I couldn't get away, now and then, or just have an outlet for having the occasional bout of fun, like going out for drinks with you. Don't get me wrong, I…I don't know. I just didn't expect that kind of sentiment from you."

"Yes, I get sick of this. I mean, I'm intense, but it has to get to everyone, right?" He glanced at the tabletop. "No one expects us Downworlders to have hearts, so, in turn, we hide our hearts to fulfil our roles. But all of us, Downworlder, Nephilim, whatever, want to believe that there's such thing as respect in every culture."

Maia silently noted that they'd breached the philosophical part of the night. "Eric…" she began carefully. "Is it because of a faerie? Are there faeries or Seelies, whatever, in this little group? That's why you especially want to keep them protected?"

Eric put his drink to his lips, taking another long drag. "Even faeries have honor, respect, and they never break their promises - or at least, it's extremely bad if they do. Because they can't lie, they have to be brutally honest, sure, but if you had no choice but to speak the truth, how would  _you_  get by in this cruel world? To them, it's survival of the fittest, and even princes can be brought to their knees if they show weakness. Now, the Cold Peace has only made things worse. A lot of Seelies fought for the wrong side, made mistakes, but not all of them. The Clave is being forced to open up to the rest of us, but they still need a bear to poke. And god knows what they'd do if they were denied the ability to prod something else with a stick."

Maia sighed. "Can't argue with that, as sad as it is. I suppose I don't have the right to say anything about Seelies, but their rough lifestyle  _does_  make them tough and skilled surviving in harsh conditions. They aren't dependent on peace, and whenever the world inevitably comes crashing down, they aren't left helpless. I want us all to coexist too, but for now, our efforts will have to be good enough."

 _Good enough_. It never seemed satisfying, did it?

Eric set his empty glass down, tracing a finger around the rim. "For now. Another shot, please."

"Got it. And my lips are sealed."

"Thanks."

"But about the girl…" she began, her eyes crinkling with renewed mirth. Eric groaned in response and tried his absolute damndest not to even  _think_  about Pyre.

* * *

Pyre chugged her glass of blood. Damn, she needed this. She needed this like she had needed air, once upon a time.

"I mean, how does  _he_  have the gall to say he was  _saving_  me?" she seethed, resisting the urge to bare her teeth as the color flooded back into her face.

At this comment, many of the fellow creatures of the night around her groaned; there was Sam and Dean, brown-haired brothers who had been captured and turned years ago, Brandy, a bubbly ball of metaphorical sunshine with strawberry blonde locks and a penchant for giggling, and Josh, with a constant skeptic streak. Jody was the very textbook perception of a modern vampire; she loved My Chemical Romance, wore a lot of black clothing, was strong and stubborn much like Pyre, and wore her ebony locks in a pixie cut, framing her sharp eyes. There was Tristan who had tousled red hair, freckles, and somewhat of a not-so-secret crush on Brandy, though this never stopped him from keeping a level and unbiased head or teasing her, and Trent, Tristan's best friend who constantly dyed his curls green, made sarcastic comments, and tried to cut it as close to daylight as possible. After three hundred years of undead life, it was obvious that rebelling against the basic preconception of what vampires should be kept him sane, and while he wasn't necessarily risky or irresponsible, Trent clearly missed his days of mortality and longed for them constantly.

All of them put together made up Alex's regular blood-sucking squad. All of them put together tended to gang up on her, too. Like, for instance, now.

"Come on, Alex," Lily drawled, fingering strands of her blue hair. Even clan leaders needed to take breaks and relax with their comrades, something the hardworking vampire was indulging in right now. "You know you like him."

The downside of hanging out with Lily?

She liked to live surreptitiously through Alex's love life.

Alex scoffed, as she often did, hot blood slipping down her throat. "I do  _not_. That stubborn wolf can go -"

"Stop denying it, Lex," Sam complained, resisting the urge to bang his head into the counter. "You never shut up about him, and you can't even tell us his name."

Dean nodded. "Seriously. I mean, I kept some secrets on my love life from this one while I was alive. Like, I wasn't about to share how long -"

"No, no, that's quite enough," Sam cut in, wincing. "That can remain a secret forever."

"See?" Dean shook his head. "Lex, if you like him, cool. But we're not going to judge you too harshly. You can, I don't know, give us some basic information. Like, for instance, his name, so we can start calling him something other than 'Mystery Guy'."

She rolled her eyes. "He just goes by 'Wolf,' but it's an obvious alias." Another bead of red disappeared from the rim of her glass. "Happy now?"

Sam sighed. "We're just looking out for you. I mean, we know you don't need protection, but isn't that what a clan is supposed to do? Look out for its own?"

"I'm not in any  _danger_  with them, guys," she grumbled, staring at her clenched fists. "They would never hurt me."

"I think he means emotional danger," Tristan piped up from down the table, slipping his lense-less glasses back up his nose.

As far as vampires went, he was far from intimidating, especially with his beat-up converses, casual button ups, and spectacles. But wearing them, even the completely useless glasses, made him feel more human again, like the regular college student he was supposed to be before he was turned. The clan turned a blind eye out of sympathy; they all had their different methods of dealing with this.

"You're attached. You deny it at every single opportunity. You clearly have a thing for him, even if I doubt it's ever gonna go anywhere, based on what I know about you. You're much more of the suffer-in-silence type."

"I don't have a thing for Wolf, okay? He's just . . . I don't know. But I'm not secretly pining like some starry-eyed waif." She forced her shoulders to relax. "It's nothing."

Lily raised a skeptical eyebrow and silently slurped out of her own cup. Jody snorted loudly.

"Yeah, but if you keep meeting him, that's gotta be a sign, right?" Sam pushed, putting a hand on her shoulder.

She shoved him away with a scowl as if that alone would deflect his point. " _No_ , I just go to see my other friends and he's there by extension."

In truth, though Alex griped about them incessantly, she liked the secret group they had. Being surrounded by other blood-suckers got boring after a while, and she felt pride at knowing a werewolf, a warlock, a seelie of the Wild Hunt, and a Shadowhunter as her secret allies. Not many could brag about having each of them on speed-dial. They were her family, and she maybe, kinda, sorta, loved them.

Not that she would ever admit it. And no way was anyone going to find out about her clique from her. Alexandra was stubborn as all get out and almost foolishly loyal, despite her frigid exterior, and death no longer scared her. If anybody wanted her friends, they would have to kill her first.

"And who are these friends?" Jody prodded, leaning her head on her elbow. "You're never very specific. I think we could stand to have some actual backstory for once."

"A warlock I met at a bar and all his buddies. Sadly, the dumb wolf is one of them," Alex relayed, the lines practiced for whenever someone asked.

"Well, I ship it," Brandy declared, smiling mischievously.

"You would," Dean said, rolling his eyes.

The blonde waved him off with her usual optimism. "I'll take that as a compliment. But come on, Alexandra. It's the classic love story! Two people of different worlds find themselves drawn together by fate! They can't stand each other, but during an argument they suddenly find themselves close enough to kiss, realize their feelings, and then after drama happens, they hardcore make out!" Her hands clasped together and she practically swooned, as if imagining it even now.

"You've watched way too many soap operas," Josh complained. "And I thought the romantic comedies phase was bad. Guys, can you even remember how many times we rewatched the Notebook? Damn, I still have nightmares."

"No, I remember it all vividly. I think she was more into the romance novels," Tristan agreed, though his tone was incredibly fond. "There was a lot of squealing that spring in the hive."

Jody sighed, fearing that she would have to initiate responsibilityTM as always. "Calm down, An," Jody said, grabbing her wrists and lowering her arms. She moved away Brandy's cup, placing it in the center of the table. "I think someone's a little too hydrated right now."

"Yeah, you've probably had enough to drink, Brandy," Trent concluded, snatching her glass of blood and handing it off to Alex. "Lex, would you mind? You could use it."

"With pleasure." The remainder was gone in seconds.

Their conversation continued as the subject mercifully changed. A very loopy Brandy attempted to grab for Trent's cup, which Jody had to forcibly wrestle her away from as the vampire continued to giggle and hiccup to a nearly comic degree. Alex, now void of the center of attention, chugged yet another drink in peace. She wouldn't have some cheesy romance with Wolf - she couldn't stand him. He was all the things that got her fired up; his stupid habit of protecting her, his idiotic comebacks, his sandy blonde hair, which was always  _freaking_  decent, his smug blue eyes, his unfairly developed physique, and his cocky attitude as though Alex should be  _thanking_  him for allowing her to be in his presence.

Ugh. Stupid Wolf.

…There was no way the others were right.

Nope.  _Never_. With a moan of frustration, she sunk down to the counter, watching her clanmates and frowning in self-irritation.

…She needed another drink. Maybe five.

* * *

Lock was bored.

He flicked his hand as shows shuffled across his screen. He didn't know what he wanted to watch on Netflix since nothing interested him, so he went to regular TV to see what was already programmed. Boring, rerun, lame, ew soap opera, Spanish (he was too tired to cast a translation spell), 24 hour ads? Really? Football. He gave a mental shrug. Might as well. Lock knew he shouldn't be using more magic after his long day, but he was also lazy. Besides, he was recovering quick enough. He popped some popcorn the old fashioned way, at least, and tried to waste time focusing on the game on the screen.

When the fire message appeared in front of him, he was more relieved than he should've been.

' _Zytaveon, I hope I'm not disrupting something important. I've been asked to come teach at the reopened Shadowhunter Academy, and the staff has become quite lackluster - meaning many have quit and they need all the help they can get. If it's not too much to ask, perhaps you can accompany me there as a teacher so that I don't die of boredom and don't kill someone before the semester ends. Reply within the week, because school starts Monday._

 _-Caterina._ '

Lock smiled and wrote up a message saying he'd love to help - anything to get away from the horror that was San Francisco customers. Then again, he'd still have to deal with them later (why pass the chance to get money by overcharging people, after all?) but it would be a change of scenery and he'd be in charge of Shadowhunters/aspiring Shadowhunters, able to boss them around.

Procrastination was key, after all, so long as you could justify it.

The next day, he woke to Cat's response on the floor by his bed.

' _Great. See you then, Ve._ '

The next week, Zytaveon arrived at the run-down school. He searched and finally caught Cat in the halls.

"Veon, I am so glad you're here!" She exclaimed.

"Well, I get that a lot."

She shoved him. "Oh, stop being Magnus, you dolt."

"We're turning Magnus into an adjective now?"

"He's been an adjective for many things for a while now. Come on, the rooms for teachers are this way."

Veon followed her, looking around at the run-down school. Veon didn't understand why the Clave didn't seem to care about educating their precious Shadowhunters, especially now that they were short on members, but at least they'd opened the school and allowed warlocks to be teachers. They encouraged their hunters to come, yet didn't bother to actually help with the setup. Veon still waved the halls clean as he passed. They could at least fix up the buildings before they opened, honestly.

Veon's room was across from Cat's - who, he noted, had magicked her room clean too - and he snapped his things to settle in for him.

"So, what talked you into agreeing to be a teacher?" he asked Cat.

She shrugged. "Don't really know. I guess I couldn't allow these delinquents go uneducated about us Downworlders. Rag…" she trailed off, glancing at the floor before taking in a deep breath and steeling her thoughts. "Ragnor hated it here, and was grumpy almost everyday, but he wanted to change things, and he wanted to do good. A lot of these kids may be hopeless, but…might as well give it a shot, right?"

Veon nodded. "So, you're Rag 2.0?"

She chuckled, almost bitterly. "I could never presume to replace him. He was a good person, and completely unique. But yeah, I'll do my best."

"Good, because I sure ain't gonna be a professor with a bug up my arse anytime soon. I'm the fun teacher."

"I'm regretting inviting you already," she joked, a smile pulling at the sides of her lips. "Just don't blow anything up."

"No promises."

He grinned as Cat broke into laughter and they pondered their stay at the Academy. Veon hoped he wouldn't be too busy to still meet his friends. Perhaps he could convince them to give lectures - except Fae, of course, and maybe Hunter, since that would require learning who he really was. Then again, bringing any of them might risk someone identify them. Well, worth a shot.

Veon loved his friends - even with Pyre and Wolf's bickering. They almost went out of their way to argue, but Fae and Hunter had agreed that they were just looking for excuses to talk to each other without losing their pride. Veon was just happy he'd found a place that he could be himself. When you were immortal, you could have friends forever - literally - but spending too much time with someone made the high wear off. New people were fun to hang around, and he'd probably be stuck with Pyre and Fae for longer than Wolf or Hunter, but they were still young - Hunter especially, the kid had to still be in his late teens. Maybe Hunter's kids would have their warlock, vampire, and faerie guardians. Sure, James Herondale had a half-warlock mother and a Silent Brother, but Veon felt he made up for that.

Zytaveon was saved and raised by Magnus Bane. As such, Veon wasn't afraid to dress a little eccentrically - not as bad as Magnus, mind you, but what he believed was Magnus done right. He naturally had sparkling scales, so that was one thing, but today he had a purple dress shirt along with a mauve, glitter-bombed vest, dress pants with just a little less sparkle, and shoes to finish it off. He might as well try to look like a professor.

"Like a professor on Halloween," Cat muttered.

"Are you suggesting I don't look serious?"

She merely hummed and smirked as she headed out.

Veon headed to his class and saw that a couple responsible chindren had already arrived. He bubbled with excitement as the class filtered in. Ah, new faces to show off his glamour and knowledge to. And they couldn't walk away once they got tired of him, either.

As was his style, he began his session by completely tossing out course information and the syllabus instructions, getting down to the first topic on his personal agenda.

"Okay, class. I want you to tell me everything you think you know about Downworlders."

"What? No introduction?" a girl shouted, glasses sitting atop her far-too-pointy nose, which had scrunched up in confusion.

Veon privately thought that it looked like it belonged on a cartoon witch than a teenage girl, but he supposed she couldn't be blamed for her own unfortunate genetics.

"I asked you a question. I believe that counts as an introduction. Personal experience has shown me questions are great ice breakers. People like to talk about themselves - I would know. But if you insist, I'm Mr. Bane."

"As in  _Magnus_  Bane?!" a boy called, eyes wide and awestruck.

Veon shrugged with a small, private smile. "He was my mentor. My name is Zytaveon and I gained the title of Bane through him; I never really had a family of my own, and since he was the closest thing I could get to a father, I took on his. Think of it like you humans when you Ascend, getting a new name. After Magus saved me, I chose my name. But enough about that. Tell me about Downworlders. Tell me everything you know and believe."

"There are four kinds - vampires, werewolves, warlocks, and Seelies."

"The Seelies were bad in the last war and now we can't help or contact them thanks to the Cold Peace," the same boy remarked, voice proud and unwavering. He clearly expected to be praised for his quick delivery.

Veon sneered instead. Such entitled millennials, having the luxury of thinking the world was black and white. "Yes, ostracization is the only way to go, obviously. Seelies are 'bad,' but that's just how they survive. Anything else? Describe the basics, if you must. What properties do the other races possess?"

"Vampires have fangs!" someone else called helpfully. As if that weren't obvious.

"They drink blood!"

"And hypnotize people!"

"They have sedative and aphrodisiac in their fangs to enchant those they bite and keep them addicted until they've been drained like a blood bank. They also have encanto abilities to hypnotize people into getting what they want. It is vampires that the drug Yin Fen comes from."

A teenager in the back row had spoken this, as if surprised the words had escaped his mouth at all.

Veon grinned and snapped, pointing at the boy. "I like you! What's your name?"

He was still in shock, like a deer in the headlights, so Veon looked around at the other kids, who were all cowering as though he was going to change his mind and blow them all up any second now.

He rolled his eyes. Mortals. "For goodness' sake! I don't do magic every time I snap, people! Now what's your name, kid?"

"S-Simon," he stuttered. "Simon Lewis."

"Oh, you're  _that_  kid! Nice to meet you. I heard you're a nerd. I like you already."

Simon relaxed slightly, no longer afraid that he was going to be vaporized for speaking out of turn.

"Now, let's move on to werewolves. What do we know about them, kids?"

"They're half wolf, half human!"

"They're feral creatures, hunting like animals while hiding among humans."

Veon sighed. "They have packs, they're loyal to their Alpha, and respect the one that challenges and kills the Alpha to take their place. It's a pretty stable system. Plus, let's be honest, all of us are hiding among humans."

Another child, tall and proud, scoffed from the aisle seat. "Shadowhunters are just better at it." He glared out at the rest of the classroom with defiance. "Well, am I wrong? We're better at everything."

Veon snapped his fingers again, red swarming his vision. Within seconds, the student was completely frozen, unable to move or talk. The look in his eyes was that of a captured animal at the mercy of a larger predator, as if for the first time he was experiencing true and utter helplessness.

"Anyone else?" he asked, low and warning.

There was silence, full and overwhelming.

"Good. Let's move on and keep personal bias to ourselves, now," Veon stated, clearing his throat. "As it's clear some of you need to learn, there are differences between skill and dependence. Shadowhunters have become far too dependant upon their runes, their rules, their Clave. Nephilim have angel blood, but they also have mundane blood. While this makes you powerful, there is no way to keep every person in line for every generation. The Clave couldn't even comprehend the idea of someone disobeying the law, and thus Valentine was born and couldn't be stopped before things got out of hand. It takes time and experience to learn what is right and what is wrong, and the law will not always be right, but when in doubt, just remember that genocide is probably not the right thing to do. The point is to never believe you understand morality. Just because you have angelic blood doesn't give you the right to play god. I've got a few centuries of experience, and I can tell you now that even with all that time, I know that I've still got more to learn. You will be doing the same for the rest of your lives, and if there is one thing you should take note of now, it is that humility renders all of us." He paused, allowing this to sink in. "Now, moving on, if, one day, you are stranded without a stele, what do you do?"

"Take inventory of what you  _do_  have," a girl suggested, sitting up straighter. "Look for weapons on you that could be useful, find water, food, shelter, etc."

"Yes, yes, that's a good start if you were in a regular scenario, but in open combat? You won't have much time to gather yourself and reassess the situation. You cannot be reliant on magic." He laid his hands flat on the desk. "You all must learn to fight without Endurance runes, maneuver without Agility runes, go to battle without Courage runes. Because that's what we Downworlders do every day. We survive by the skin of our teeth because we have no choice. We learn to be flexible without a crutch like runes, we learn to hide among humans without invisibility spells, and we band together because we don't have a fancy Clave. We are freelancers, but not monsters. If you treat someone badly, do you think there will be no repercussions? Do you believe they will not be angry? And do you think, at any moment, that you are better than someone who is different? Because if you do, then you are the monster. You are no better than Valentine, because that is  _exactly_  what he was. There is such thing as a rogue, of course, but one person's actions - or a group of people's actions - does  _not_  define everyone. Because that's the thing about all of us. Downworlder or Nephilim, we are all part human. Well, I suppose the Seelies could be debated, but regardless!"

He got a laugh out of most of them, albeit slightly nervously, and felt proud. This was the next generation, and if anything was going to change, it had to start with forcing people to see things a different way. Empathy is universal, as is bigotry. If they could start to understand, even at a fundamental level, that there was more to being a Shadowhunter than slicing demons, it was good enough for Veon.

"You all have to learn not to take everything you're told to heart - don't be ruled by hate or resentment, but the desire to protect. You are not warriors, you are guardians. Remember, there's a difference."

_**-TFOT-** _

"I loved the speech."

"What are you talking about?"

"In your class," his companion smiled warmly. "You're a natural."

Veon turned to Cat from his summoned meal (he was not eating the demonic excrement they called food at this Academy). "You were spying on me?"

"You weren't exactly keeping it a secret, so can it really be called spying?" She stole a bite of his sandwich. "Anyways, I was just passing through. You did well with them."

"Fair enough," he shrugged, taking the opportunity to grab his lunch back. She continued chewing without complaint. "But you could've at least informed me of your presence."

She gave a returning shrug. "You were on a role."

"How'd your classes go?"

"Same as ever - arrogant Shadowhunters, bright-eyed mundanes."

"Ah, the wonderful life of the Academy," Veon smirked, raising a glass of punch. With a snap of his fingers, another cup was nestled in her slender hands. "To resisting the urge to maim our kids?"

"I'll toast to that," Cat conceded.

They clinked their glasses together. In all honesty, he felt this was gonna be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title inspired by Plain White T's 'Hey There Delilah.'


	3. You Remind Me Of A Few Of My Famous Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a smaller chapter, but the next one is pretty big and I didn't want to put them both into one and risk the next becoming even longer. This one is also only half edited since Amalspach has been busy, so it may update as time goes by. Also Amalspach comes up with the chapter names, so that'll be updated later too.
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Finn sighed and strummed his guitar. He had a stupid Disney song stuck in his head all day, and his restless brain had forced him to start coming up with chords to play. Then again, his sister and Selina would argue that Disney songs were nothing to be ashamed of, and in all honesty, the lyrics were actually really inspiring. It was from Pocahontas, all about nature and its importance, and Finn couldn't help but be reminded of Fae. He knew that the faeries weren't nature hippies like they could easily be mistaken for thanks to the modern interpretations, but they were still connected to nature in a way that city-dwelling mundanes couldn't ever understand - or even the city-dwelling Downworlders and Shadowhunters. The faeries were scary because they had nature on their side, and nature was an infinitely complex and ancient creation that no one could ever fully understand. To have even a slight bit of control over it meant wisdom and power that could sometimes make them cocky.

But Fae wasn't cocky, Finn had recognized. He was modest and cautious to a fault, but not overly proud of himself, as if he too was still trying to figure out who he was and wanted to be.

Fae was definitely not like the others of his kind, and Finn found himself wanting to take the opportunity to get to know him and what it was like to be a faerie in the Wild Hunt. It was a rough lifestyle, but it made Fae tough and more prepared than any of them for whatever came his way. Besides, if Fae was able to find time to sneak away to join them, it meant that he had the slight bit of freedom needed to relax and satisfy him - time to balance out the bad with some good.

"Finn!"

Merida and Selina charged into his room. Selina quickly shut the door, bracing herself against it with an anxious frown while Merida rushed over to him and grabbed his guitar case. "Hide it!" she demanded, already packing the thing away.

Finn gave a confused look, resisting the urge to complain about how roughly it was being thrown back in. It wasn't as if he could just go out and buy a new one without anyone noticing, after all.

"Your parents are here!" Selina snapped, more worried than angry, her eyes flashing with urgency. She knew, better than nearly anybody, just how important this was to him.

Finn jumped into action, helping to slam the case shut and then stuffing it beneath his bed. Quickly he pushed a few bins of miscellaneous items, containing everything from old tools to childhood toys to laundry, in front of the case, then covering everything with another old sheet. This insured that even the most curious of eyes would have a hard time spotting his instrument, let alone trying to unveil it before they got caught. Bless his sister for coming up with the idea, and the two girls for supporting him and his musical talents. Selina's parents were just as strict as Finn and Merida's, but they were more often the negligent parents that kinda just threw things at Selina and told her to do good. They weren't celebratory when she did well, but they were strict when she performed poorly - and she'd done both before. Selina had grown up more with the twin's family than her own, and she understood how Finn's parents didn't approve of his music, his father in particular.

They managed to finish hiding the instrument and all of Finn's sheet music, videos, and any other traces of his hobby while Merida pulled up the ' _Avengers_ ' movie and skipped it to a random part in the middle. She and Selina dived for the bed to get into position as though they'd been watching the entire time when there was a knock on the door. Without waiting for their response, the door opened to reveal Finn's parents.

"Ah, good, you're here," his dad said, voice flat and mildly disinterested.

"Hi, Daddy," Merida greeted cheerfully.

She knew how to charm their parents better than Finn did, and the key to that was acting like she wasn't the badass sister that could kill you seven ways till Sunday armed with nothing but a stuffed bear (don't ask how Finn knows that specifically). Women always had it easier, honestly.

"Hello, sweetheart," he replied in a way that was as close to warm as their family got, and it was only really reserved for her.

"We don't have time for idle hellos. Let's get moving," their step-mom called from the hallway impatiently. "We're going to be late."

"Are we going somewhere?" Finn asked.

"We have business at the Shadowhunter Academy," their dad informed them, not even bothering to look up while addressing them.

This was to be expected. They were hardly his children; they were weapons made to fight for the Clave, to press against the system. Possessions, almost, although ones with a certain degree of received affection.

"Are we going to the Academy?" Merida asked eagerly. She was every inch the ideal Shadowhunter; she was eager to learn, eager to fight and to broaden her horizons, and she appeased their parents more-or-less effortlessly. Sure, they were equally hard on her, but she hadn't done anything they explicitly disapproved of yet.

Finn, on the other hand, he was the  _problem_.

"That's yet to be decided, but you will get to go for this week and see if it's right for you. The Clave is encouraging us, as senior hunters, to take you children."

"Awesome!"

"Me too?" Selina asked, pulling her hair out of her face and straightening.

"Yes," their step-mom said once more, tapping her foot. "Now if we want to make it there on time, we need to get going now."

The three of them didn't argue. Merida and Selina were ecstatic, but Finn couldn't muster up the excitement they felt. Finn had grown up in the Institute all his life, and as a result it was familiar. It was home, and he didn't want to leave it to go attend classes at some unfamiliar school. The girls were all for meeting new people and curing their cabin fever (even though they went out on missions often enough, honestly), but Finn didn't like being out of his comfort zone.

Besides, Finn may not be able to attend the secret meetings as often, if at all, at the academy, and his friends were the only reason he remained sane. To make matters worse, he'd be trapped away from home, surrounded by snobby Shadowhunter teens from all the famous Shadowhunter families who would love to talk about how they're better than the Scion family. Sure, they weren't the Herondales, the Lightwoods, the Carstairs, or literally any other family with a famous title, but Scion was a cool surname, right? If nothing else, it was  _his_ , one of the few things he could truly call his own. While he was away, that meant less time with his guitar, less time watching stupid movies with his sister, less time trying to figure out what he wanted out of life. He would be utterly out of his area, separated from everything that made him  _him_ , and a nobody in a world of famous surnames.

However, he didn't voice these thoughts, not when everyone else was so excited. Instead, he continued to watch the girls buzz around, jumping at the prospect to finally meet people outside of the Institute that were acquainted with the Shadow World. Both could hardly comprehend the concept of talking to someone they wouldn't have to hide from, Selina especially. They had gone on missions that had them interact with mundanes here and there, and it wasn't like they were unfamiliar with meeting the occasional Downworlder, but they didn't interact with other Shadowhunters, oddly enough. As far as Shadowhunters went, they were rather secluded in all areas of life. Finn, Merida, and Selina's families were the only ones in the Institute - especially after the Dark War.

When they eventually arrived at the school, Finn's feeling of dread only worsened. The place was visibly rundown, with its shudders nearly falling from the hinges and its paint peeling away from the ancient walls. It seemed that the Clave didn't think hygiene was very important, if they would send their next generation to a veritable poster building for a CDC campaign. He was afraid to say that it could be worse, because it'd most likely turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

"Is it all that you hoped it would be?" he whispered to his sister, silently thinking a stream of ' _I knew it I knew it I knew it_ '. She shushed him quickly.

As they walked through the halls, it was immediately evident which professors cared about their new assignation and which were doing it out of obligation. It was a matter of degrees; some areas were brightly lit and scrubbed clean, so reflective and perfect that magic must have been used. Others were merely swept and hastily wiped down, as though the instructor had arrived late and done their work in a hurry; perhaps they simply didn't have powers. Either way, this was preferable to the corridors of people who simply couldn't be bothered, as their portions of the school were riddled in cobwebs and a thick layer of grime.

Despite the frankly terrifying exterior, it appeared that Finn had lucked out and received an instructor who genuinely had investment in their job. The guy teaching the class he was taking today seemed nice, with a relatively carefree smile and a somewhat sparkly outfit, which Finn assumed was an attempt at looking casual without compromising personal taste. He continued to look over the man, scrutinizing him carefully. Upon closer inspection, Finn noticed some familiar scales on his exposed forearms, scales he didn't think he'd ever come across in his day-to-day life, much less at the academy.

"Lock?" he whispered in disbelief.

It couldn't be, could it? Not when he'd been so careful to keep his friends and his everyday work seperate for so long. There was no way they could bleed into each other on their own like this.

More than anything, Finn wanted to talk to Lock, the person he had known just as well as Selina for ages. He knew the way the warlock prefered his coffee, his sarcastic sense of humor, his favorite shows, and the type of music he listened to; those were things one could not fake. And now, here he was, in the flesh, and Finn was practically dying in his seat, thinking about all the things he would like to say to the person he had both come to know inside and out and yet was meeting for the first time, but class had begun and the warlock had already started.

"Okay, class. I want you to tell me everything you think you know about Downworlders."

Finn tapped his foot impatiently, zoning out while thinking about what to do. Should he play dumb and act like any other student? Should he approach Lock about this later? Did this matter, and would it strain their friendship?

He heard 'Bane' escape his comrade's mouth and momentarily snapped to attention. That's right, he was an apprentice or something of Magnus. It explained his flashy style and eccentric personality. If someone told Finn that Lock of all people would be a teacher at the Shadowhunter Academy, Finn wouldn't have believed it. He constantly complained about the rigors of dealing with other people and was hardly patient when something managed to mildly inconvenience him. However, in a strange way, it almost made sense. Lock was actually very serious when it came to his core beliefs on how the world should work and the academy provided to perfect opportunity to do just that, to remold young minds. Lock had lived through enough centuries to have firm ideals on human nature and on how it could be remedied. Actually, his values were much akin to Finn's, especially when it came to what shadowhunters should be - they weren't just warriors, they were guardians of the innocent.

As Lock (or Mr. Bane, since Finn couldn't even try to process what his first name was) gave his lecture, Finn found himself listening closely to the underlying words beneath his message. Just as he often made evident, Lock wanted the segregation to stop, and he was clearly willing to do something about it, even if that something for the moment was trying to get through to a bunch of thick-skulled Shadowhunter children.

"And what if one of you doesn't even want to be a Shadowhunter?" Lock asked. "Do you all believe you are forced to be what you are?"

"But…our parents are relying on us to hold their legacy," a girl said shyly. "And we're supposed to protect people, right?"

"And you can. You should be able to choose to be a Shadowhunter because you want it and believe in the cause, and not because you are told to. Do you think most mundane doctors choose to save lives because they were forced by their guardians to take years of medical classes in a university and sign on at hospitals? They enter the profession because they want to help people, because they wanted to make the world a brighter place. If you become a guardian, become one because it's the right thing to do. All other reasons fall apart; self-motivation is the only real driving force that continues to sustain itself." He paused, looking around the room wearily. "But I knew a lad, a while back, who just wanted to sing, not fight. He said so to his family, and you know what they did? They destroyed his instruments, they had a warlock take his voice away, and they made him into a Shadowhunter, whether he liked it or not. I knew this boy because he asked me to help him. He asked me to kill him."

A ripple of nervousness swept through the room, until one person was brave enough to ask, "So what happened?"

"I saved him," Lock said simply, but he didn't elaborate.

Finn realized, much like the rest of the room, that this answer was vague because he  _couldn't_  elaborate. If Lock admitted to killing a Shadowhunter, he'd probably be condemned in some way no matter how long ago it happened, and if he told of how he helped the boy escape, he'd be expected to track the descendants of the boy for more Shadowhunters - and that would be hell for whoever had initially begged him for help. Either way, Lock couldn't and wouldn't say more.

"But that boy, and so many others over the course of history, have had to hide who they are, and are punished if they are found out. You all must work to change this. Diversity is not a crime. You are the next generation of Shadowhunters. You are the only ones who can make things better. You all know the story of Alexander Lightwood, a Shadowhunter who was shamed because of his sexuality and then the fact that he was dating Magnus - a warlock. He is an example of the bravery that you Shadowhunters must be capable of. But only one person every twenty generations isn't enough. All of you have to be brave enough to change the law when it is wrong."

"But without the law, things would be in chaos," a boy protested.

Lock crossed his arms in challenge, as though he'd been waiting for someone to argue. "There was once a law in the mortal world that stated women weren't allowed to have any rights. They were treated as little more than property. There are even jerks these days that  _still_  believe that a woman is worthless and only there to give a man children. There was even a time that you kiddies and your parents' parents' parents' don't remember where women were only first allowed to fight because Shadowhunter numbers had gotten so low during a war that they were forced to give in to needing help. Today, some of the strongest Shadowhunters are women, and taking a woman's rights would be considered absurd and sexist in the modern world. Time changes things, especially the law. You've all heard your little Latin law "Dura lex, sed lex" - 'The law is hard, but it is the law.' Actually, it translates to 'Hard law, it's law,' which actually feels appropriate as well."

He got awarded a round of chuckles.

"Personally, I've been a fan of the Blackthorn saying, "Lex malla, lex nulla" - 'A bad law is no law.' Or, 'Bad law, no law.' There is no rule you can lay down that will be true for all situations. Morals are a case by case judgement, and the saying is true. Laws are meant to keep peace. Violence used to make peace is not a proper law." He sighed. "That isn't to say that all the rules should be broken. Just laws are passed for the primary motivator of general safety and comfort. However, a bad law is not a law you should feel obligated to follow, and it's important to start learning now how to tell them apart. Sadly, there is no one definition for an unfair rule. Most like to try and simplify it into a way to maximize lives saved and reduce casualties. However, I will say this; fighting and resisting shouldn't be the only way to solve conflict. Blood doesn't get paid with anything but more blood."

"What if a majority believes in what's right being a sacrifice?" someone asked.

"Depends on the sacrifice. The thing that is taking - receiving - the sacrifice as well as the people must be understood. If the gain for the trade is selfish luxury when the alternative is hard work, it is most likely the wrong thing. If the alternative is extermination or at least poverty, more needs to be considered. Outside help, alternatives, there is always another way. If there isn't, perhaps their fruitless battle of survival is pointless and should end. It is all up to the situations, every nuance matters. Tomorrow we shall get some scenarios and you will all give your opinions."

"Will it be graded?" a girl asked.

"Your reasoning will be, but not your actual position on the matter. Morality is a fickle thing, after all, and it shifts from person to person. If you and someone else disagree, be prepared to make an argument. If I must, I will play the part of the opposing side if all of you agree - even if I don't fully believe my position. For now, you are dismissed."

Finn gathered his notes and tried to catch Lock as he left, but he was afraid shouting 'Lock!' would sound racist to outside ears, and it just didn't feel right calling his friend 'Mr. Bane.' Did he even recognize Hunter? The teenager knew that he used a glamour rune to make his red hair brown for the sake of security during the meetings, which also had the added effect of turning his eyes blue and hiding his freckles. He didn't really think about it too often, as the glamour part of an instinctive routine he performed he came and went. Would Lock, as a warlock, be able to see past it? Frankly, Finn had assumed that the magician respected his privacy and remained ignorant. Finn hadn't gone through the Institute Archives, looking for his friends' faces, and Fae, the lie detector, knew it. All of them respected each other's private lives, but would meeting IRL be for the best? Would it be for the best, finally shredding the curtain between their regular existences and their clandestine affairs?

Finn slowed as Lock left the room, allowing him to leave without protest. For now, it would probably be better to just leave their worlds separate. Still, Finn wondered if Lock had recognized him, bringing up the story of the destroyed musician Shadowhunter to get others to sympathize with him. Adversely, maybe Lock had just honored Finn even when he thought he wasn't there. Finn smiled at the prospect that he cared, despite all the people and places he'd lived through, and that amongst everything his friend had seen Hunter the Shadowhunter had become important.

By the end of the day Finn had sat patiently through another three lectures, as had his comrades. Technically they weren't obligated to go to any more classes, but Merida and Selina were happily volunteering to attend additional electives in their rush to explore the academy, and soon they soldiered on, leaving him to his own devices. Already it seemed as though Mer and Li were making this their home, a mindset that he could never truly embrace. Instead of following them or requesting company, he let them go. Even if he was out of his element, it didn't mean that the girls couldn't enjoy their stay.

This was just like his father, actually. Stranding them all in a new place without so much as a day's notice, expecting them to move in, to take courses, to sleep in unfamiliar dorms with unfamiliar faces lurking nearby. It was something of a personal hell, actually, but the one bright spot in this mess was that there was no threat of a looming parental figure swooping in to uncover his secrets.

With little deliberation, Finn settled down in the room meant to be his and began unpacking his things, which they had unceremoniously had dumped into their respective dorms upon arrival. Soon, between the concerns about Lock, his growing irritation, and his thoughts about Merida and Selina, wherever they were, he gave up, thrusting everything else aside and pulling open the zipper on his guitar case. Bless the girls for helping him bring it by distracting their parents for the minute he needed to hide it in the car.

When their group had established itself, Lock had been hard at work to create crystals that would teleport them to their tunnels, providing a safe and easy way to reach the others should anything happen. This was just another reason why it was convenient to have a warlock in their group; if anyone followed him, the path to the actual meeting place was met with too many twists and turns for someone to follow while also staying out of sight, and Lock had surrounded the entire place with wards to identify intruders. Pushing aside that analysis, Finn walked through the portal, picking up the crystal as the gateway closed behind him. Here, he was Hunter. Here, he was completely and utterly himself.

Hunter sat down against the wall of his tunnel and ran a hand through his locks, sighing. The Disney song was still stuck in his head, and it would probably refuse to leave until he removed it from his system, as per usual. With a renewed excuse to perform, he began to strum the chords he'd learned solely by ear - since his guitar obviously couldn't play all of the instruments needed to play the song and having sheet music in the house was the equivalent of a death sentence, he just made up an acoustic version with the net sound of certain parts.

Maybe one of the others would show, maybe they wouldn't. Either way, he had alone time to play and no risk of being overheard by someone he didn't trust or regularly interact with in his normal life. He got lost in the song within the first verse, letting the familiar hum of the strings distract his buzzing mind, the lull so entrancing that he didn't notice the visitor that had been listening the entire time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title inspired by 'I Have Friends In Holy Spaces' by Panic! At the Disco. I couldn't fit the entire phrase that we wanted back on Fanfic, but I did my best. Here we don't have that problem so yay!


	4. Fly Me To The Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to update every Sunday, I should probably say this now, but I have so much stuff that I'm kinda just chucking at Amalspach because having a second opinion on my writing (and one who has much better grammar than me) is very useful. Admittedly, reading over so much of my work and improving on it is a mentally draining task. And I have a lot written at this point. The schedule of this story really depends on her and how willing I am to subject her to my nonsense. Looking back at all the rambling I do, it's a miracle we've even made it this far.
> 
> I want to get at least a chapter ahead before I post stuff. Having an actual life to pull you from fanfiction and a limited muse sucks sometimes.
> 
> On a brighter note: DRAMA! I planned this chapter from the moment I began this story. I didn't plan on the song specifically, but it just kinda got stuck in my head during the time I wrote it.
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Fae was unhappy.

He couldn't quite say why, as by all accounts it was a fairly decent day. He saw his brother eyeing Mark Blackthorn with a gaze of affection he knew he could never receive from Kieran, his own blood. Why did it make him jealous? He knew, and furthermore he understood, that he couldn't ever be a proper brother who loved his sibling with everything he had; Fae was his teacher before his comrade, his protector before his friend, and if that meant he had to constantly be on edge, be colder and harder than necessary, then so be it. He knew that his obligation was to his brother's life before his happiness and he had accepted that fate, even if it came at the steep cost of a regular relationship.

Yet still, he felt uneasy as he watched the two of them go to battle together. It was just the three of them on this hunt, and so they openly smiled at each other, joked around, spoke their minds, and acted more affectionate than friends or even allies should. If it weren't Fionn with the two of them, their behavior could be mistaken as brotherly love, but Fionn knew them far too well for that. Their bond was strong in different ways.

"Miach," Fionn ordered, using the boy's faerie nickname. "Stop with your incessant dawdling. Skin the boar while I create the fire."

Kieran and Mark got to work, as they often did when he snapped, while Fionn made a circle of stones, followed shortly by a pile of wood, and used a flint to light it. Mark had been in the Hunt longer than the princes, but Fionn had been trained long before they had come there, teaching Kieran, and, in turn, Kieran had taken the opportunity to teach and help Mark. Fionn was older than Kieran and had learned more than he normally would in order to get by in the world. Kieran had been born because their father wanted a true man from their mother, despite  _everything_  Fionn did to prove himself.

Fionn snapped the two stones of the flint in half, just thinking about it.

He was slipping. This never happened. He could control himself.

"Are you okay, brother?" Kieran called, brows wrinkled in obvious concern.

"I am unharmed," he responded. "Continue with your task. Do not be distracted by such details, lest you show favoritism or distrust in my ability - or others' - to handle themselves. Have I not taught you to think before you act?"

"Yes, Flann," he said, using Fae's serious name to show he understood.

Mark gave a look, but was quickly stopped from speaking as Flann returned a glare. He was not in the mood, not now. Instead of giving a further explanation, the faerie pulled out an extra flint and lit the fire, blowing on it to help it build into a strong flame.

Fire. A thing Flann was familiar with. Yes, he was the son of a water faerie, yet the opposite of Kieran and his ocean-blue locks. He had questioned their mother of his origins before, but she had simply declared that he was her child in every way. Perhaps that was simply another reason why his father rejected him.

Becoming impatient with the dark thoughts on his mind, he pointed his finger at the fire and it flared up into a full-blown flame. Kieran hadn't shown the prowess over water that Flann had found he had over fire, and so he kept the abilities he had hidden so that people wouldn't come to expect Kieran's skill when he didn't have it. He also refrained from using the power he gained in Kieran's presence so that Kieran himself didn't expect his abilities to emerge one day - and prevent him from being bitter when and if they didn't.

Fionn was not hateful of his brother; he was resentful of his  _father_  for everything he'd done. Were he not so concerned for Kieran, Fionn would be the first to usurp the throne merely to kill the man. He would then leave the title of Unseelie King to one of his trusted half-brothers, hoping that they would do a better job of ruling than those before them. But that was a fantasy to ponder another day. The day that the king fell would most likely be far off.

The three of them ate their meal in relative silence, Mark and Kieran sitting closer than they truly needed, soft, sneaky smiles exchanging as they waited. Fionn felt the same resentment flowing through him again.

He did  _not_  hate his brother. He did  _not_  hate Mark, even. But what he felt was definitely negative, seeing them with their secret affair - jealousy. Fionn wanted to protect his brother's affections, yes, but he would sacrifice their relationship if it meant Kieran's wellbeing. He had no desire for Mark or Mark's approval of him. What, then, was it that provoked this feeling within him? A desire for the relationship they had, perhaps. He could have no weakness, and show no love. Kieran and Mark, even in secret, could love each other.

Fionn could love no one. He couldn't let his guard down, ever.

It was then, as he pondered his feelings on the matter, that he felt a disturbance in Lock's wards, but not one of warning. Hunter was at the meeting place, though there didn't seem to be an emergency. He closed his eyes and sensed Hunter was playing his melodies. He found a desire with himself to join him, to get away from everything. Mark and Kieran seemed to want time alone together - even if neither would admit it - and without Gwyn to report to, since they were already on a separate Hunt, this would be a perfect opportunity to visit.

Fionn stood immediately. "I wish to go for a ride. Do not wait up for me."

Kieran slowly acquired a suspiciously dangerous grin. "Go, brother. We will be fine."

"Please, do not enjoy yourselves  _too_  much during my absence."

"We can handle ourselves," Mark insisted, though he didn't seem as eager for Fionn's departure as Kieran.

Was that boy honestly unaware of Kieran's feelings? It was clear that he had his own affections for Kieran, but perhaps he was simply denying that they meant anything beyond friendship. Fionn was a faerie that had never been in love before and had never  _wanted_  to be in love, and yet he was aware of what was going on with the two of them. Perhaps alone time would do them better than he expected.

It occured to Fionn that Mark hadn't been informed of Fionn's secret excursions, so did that suggest Kieran's attitude came from Fionn meeting his friends and not his brother's relationship? It seemed that Kieran had mysterious thoughts about Fionn's relationships rather than his own at the moment. But alone time with Mark was probably a bonus as well.

"What do you smile for, Kieran?" he finally asked.

"I am happy for your desire to do as you please," he admitted, avoiding the topic of Fionn's trips specifically because it had been decided that Mark wouldn't be allowed to learn of it. Fionn couldn't share without the others' consent, and they had all agreed that no one would be told. Kieran simply figured it out on his own and Fionn was incapable of denying it. "You never think of yourself. You must learn that I can handle myself and that your needs are important as well. Go. A small tangent of freedom will do you good, after all you've done."

Fionn turned and walked off, accepting the not-answer. "Do not think I shall cease my protection, my brother. This development will not change my treating of you."

Kieran gave a warmer smile. "I expected no less."

Fionn allowed himself to bask in the fondness he so rarely indulged in before whistling and summoning his faerie steed. Zoltan was a mighty horse, one of the strongest and hardest to tame in the land. It was the taming of Zoltan that gained him a great deal of respect in Faerieland, and so everyone who saw the steed knew to take him seriously immediately. He hopped aboard his mount and rode off.

It wasn't a long trip on his steed, and he allowed Zoltan to leave as he walked down the tunnel to the meeting ground. He heard the light strumming of a guitar and Hunter's soft voice as he sang.

Fae could easily compare Hunter's singing to the beautiful tunes in Faerieland. He was unaware a non-faerie was capable of such grace - at least before he met Hunter. It was still baffling to him how Hunter refused to acknowledge his ability. Even now, Fae heard a song that had him listening intently to the lyrics and entranced by the flowing rhythm.

" _You think you own whatever land you land on_ ,  
" _The earth is just a dead thing you can claim_.  
" _But I know every rock and tree and creature_ ,  
" _Has a life, has a spirit, has a name_.

" _You think the only people who are people_ ,  
" _Are the people who look and think like you_.  
" _But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger_ ,  
" _You'll learn things you never knew you never knew_.

" _Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the new corn moon?_  
" _Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?_  
" _Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain?  
_" _Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?_

" _Can you paint with all the colors_  
" _Of_ ,  
" _The_ ,  
" _Wind?_ "

Fae wanted to go and confront Hunter - it was disrespectful to listen without his permission, after all - but the faerie found himself enchanted with the lyrics, the tune, and Hunter's voice. He put his soul into the song, not just reciting a bout of words or playing a given piece of music, but  _becoming_  the melody. Hunter put care into his music, and that's what made him so good.

" _Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest_ ,  
" _Come taste the sun-sweet berries of the earth_ ,  
" _Come roll in all the riches all around you_ ,  
" _And for once, never wonder what their worth_.

" _The rainstorm and the river are my brothers_ ,  
" _The heron and the otter are my friends_ ,  
" _And we are all connected to each other_ ,  
" _In a circle, in a hoop that never ends_.

" _How high does the sycamore grow?  
_" _If you cut it down, then you'll never know_.

" _And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon_ ,  
" _For whether we are white or copper-skinned_ ,  
" _We need to sing with all the voices of the mountain_ ,  
" _Need to paint with all the colors of the wind_.

" _You can own the earth and still_ ,  
" _All you'll own is earth until_ ,  
" _You can paint_  
" _With all the colors_  
" _Of_ ,  
" _The_ ,  
" _Wind~_ "

Hunter played some notes as an outro, a relaxed closing tune that he seemed lost in until the music had completely died from the echoed tunnels. It was only when Hunter sighed and moved his instrument off his lap did he notice Fae sitting far too close for comfort.

Hunter shrieked in a pitch Fae hadn't known the male Shadowhunter species could produce and fell to the side, dropping his guitar with a booming thud that echoed out because of the body of the instrument being built to project sound combined with the tunnels' concrete closed space.

"F-Fae?!" Hunter stuttered. "How long have you . . .?"

"I have been sitting in this position ever since the line about rainstorms and rivers, however, I have heard all since the one claiming my beliefs about owning land."

Hunter thought back, sitting up straighter. "You…You've been here  _that_  long? I-I'm sorry. I didn't realize…"

"You have no reason to apologize. You have a beautiful voice and I hoped not to disturb your melody."

Hunter looked stunned. Or was it embarrassment? Fae wasn't good with reading such emotions, as they were often expressed in different ways outside of Faerieland. Usually, embarrassment equated to humiliation - which was a punishment that more often than not led to physical pain, be it through whippings or beatings.

"My apologies. I did not mean to overstep my bounds. I know little of your musical standards. In Faerie, I know I have heard many musical creatures, but perhaps you have far higher expectations."

"What? N-No, that's not it. I have little doubt the people of Faerieland are much more skilled than I am, and especially my kind."

"Yet you seem to believe that you have no skill at all. I have heard some of the best musicians in the Unseelie King's court and you rival them all."

"R-Really?"

"You think I can lie of such things? Of  _any_ thing?"

"No! No, I'm sorry. It's sometimes hard to remember you're a faerie."

Fae moved his hand to his ear, then his hair and his face. "I do believe I have very obvious traits to distinguish myself."

Hunter laughed. "Yes, that's true. But when you speak to us, you seem…casual. I guess all of us normal-speakers are rubbing off on you. I suppose  _we're_  the ones speaking weird to you. But you kinda rub off on me too sometimes. I now know fancy-speech. And your faerie traits are cool. You get to ride free in the Hunt. I keep my family's honor, my own honor, and all I get in return is a life of oppression and hiding. There's no fun, no freedom, and as my responsibilities grow, I will have no hope of escaping to here again. I dread when that day comes. The Hunt sounds hard, don't get me wrong, but you get to ride horses, feel the rush of a real hunt, learn to survive because of your own strength, not reliant on runes. I understand that there have to be a lot of hardships, but you're used to them, and even if I wouldn't be able to handle a lot of that stuff, to you, it doesn't feel like it would be something you can't tolerate. All that stuff about Gwyn taking you in and helping you when you start, and having honor that you earn, that's not decided just because you're born one way or another…I sometimes wish I could've grown up like you, never known what being a Shadowhunter was like."

"Well, birth does matter sometimes. If you're born a prince, born a woman, born like Mark Blackthorn - a half-faerie - things can be much different. A prince is mocked for their entitled life being handed down to them when they didn't earn their title the hard way. A woman cannot even be a part of the Hunt, and they must work harder to earn respect if they wish to compete with men. They are feared and respected, yes, but their cunning and magic is not equal to physical prowess, so if a woman wants to wield a sword, ride with the Hunt, she is looked down upon. And Mark Blackthorn, he is a special case in the Hunt. No one will ever respect him fully because he refuses to deny he's a Shadowhunter. But I see that he is  _strong_  because he does not give in. He is feared among the Hunt because he can lie, but it isn't as though half-faeries aren't born on a regular basis. It is the Shadowhunter aspect that they don't like - they see him as nothing more than an enforcer of the Cold Peace. He doesn't wish to fit in, but he doesn't run because he knows the consequences. He is an enigma, but he is making the best of a hard situation. He may be a Shadowhunter, but he is a faerie all the same."

"If only I could trade places with him. If Helen and Mark were pure Shadowhunters and I was the half-faerie, things would be so much better."

"Or things could be worse. It is best not to waste time pondering a world of 'What ifs' while you have a world in front of you to deal with. Focus your energy instead on what changes you  _can_  make to improve things. I have heard the tales of Alexander Lightwood, a Shadowhunter who works to change the law every day. Lock brags about knowing Magnus, and by extension, the Lightwood boy, and I have heard the good he is doing, working with vampires and werewolves, and any warlock who is willing. I believe you have reached a time of change, thanks to the war. It seems only tragedy can provoke action."

Hunter frowned. "I wish the faeries could be included in that change too. At the very least, we can just stay away from each other, but to refuse to protect them under the Accords, prevent them from having warriors or weapons without authorization…the Shadowhunters could accuse you guys of using a paperclip as a weapon and be justified in attacking. Some of your people made mistakes during the war, but the faeries can lay down their own laws and punishment - they don't need the Clave to make everything worse. The Clave was the one to make the mistakes that led to Valentine's and subsequently Sebastian's rise, so in the end, they should be the ones bearing the punishment, but  _no_. It has to be all of the faeries, whether they're guilty or not of trying to survive the monsters that the Nephilim let loose. Besides, the faeries have been around much longer than the Nephilim. We act as though our angel blood makes us better, but we're not. As far as I'm aware, the Shadowhunters just kinda showed up and claimed they were better than those with demon blood. We're part angel, but we're also mundane. We're arrogant and snobby, stubborn to a fault, and we're filled with hatred and pain. How, in any way, are we better than anyone and anything?"

"You speak as though you are among the Shadowhunters you so loath. But you are not. I know that for sure, and your other friends do as well. You must look on the bright side, Hunter, even though that seems to be a foreign concept to you. Forgive my saying, however…"

Fae took a deep breath and closed his eyes, focusing as though he was getting into character for a play. Then, his eyes snapped open to reveal a completely different personality.

"If you have time to mope, you have time to act!" he recited, as though he had been practicing. "Get your head in the game! Stop sitting around complaining and actually  _do_  something, you lazy bum!"

Hunter blinked. "What just happened?"

The faerie grinned lopsidedly, as if he'd just performed a part in a play. "Our comrades have been giving me information on the verbal technicalities of your world. Wolf advised me to get my point across in a way that you would perhaps understand. I found the lines quite bold and out of line, however he was confident that they would have an effect. In essence, you complain far too much and make little visible effort to change what you believe is wrong. So, as Pyre further advised me to say, 'Get off your arse, idiot.'" He took a moment to smile, as if proud of his progress. It shouldn't have been so damn  _cute_. "However, Lock prevented them from speaking their words to you directly previously because he knew they would only come off as aggressive and you would only hide more. They came to an agreement that I was the ideal person to speak to you because I am the most docile of us and would sympathize with you. I do believe that logic is flawed, but I did not contest the point. It is evident that you needed assistance."

Hunter looked down, away from the pleased Fae, and sat back in thought. "And what do  _you_  have to say about me?"

He absolutely hated how curious and longing those words sounded. Obvious, much?

"You cannot fret and simply wish. You must act. I agree with that much, at the very least. You are strong and wise, Hunter, and you must learn to step up and  _use_  your abilities to change what is wrong."

Hunter sighed and glanced upwards, trying to imagine the billions and billions of stars up there. Was each one in the velvety black a world? A person? Were they better off? "If only it were that easy." He ran a palm over his forehead. "I want to. I really do. But I need to make something of myself if I'm going to have a voice, and I don't know if I could do that. Where do you even begin, trying to shift everything you've ever known?"

Fae stared steadily ahead, not seeing anything, pondering this thought. The oncoming silence fell over the duo, veiling everything but their steady breathing and the hum of inquisitive minds. Finally, the faerie stood, extending an open hand. "Start by learning more about us."

"What?" he breathed, jolted out of the quiet, eyes wide with shock and unadulterated surprise.

"You want to make a real difference. You are passionate about it. You are allowed to start small. Let me show you what it means to be a faerie of the Hunt." He rose a taunting brow. "Or do you not trust me?"

"Of course I trust you," Hunter instantly snapped, red starting to color his cheeks.

His companion drew closer, a rare smirk, wide and daring and purely  _him_ , was plastered across his face, so different from his usual expression of lukewarm calculation. "Then allow me a chance to show you my world for one night."

Damn, that felt just like a line from a rom-com to Finn. It was almost a line straight out of one of his more dubious fantasies, for sure. He had no right to sound so  _good_  at this.

Hunter looked to Fae's hand, and with barely any hesitation, reached out his own to meet it. "Where are we going?"

"Just on a ride."

He whistled and Zoltan came storming in with a boom of lightning, the crackling effect only amplified by the tunnels. Sparks flew away in flashes of gold and silver, a light so bright it was living. Hunter flinched, but didn't take his eyes off he brilliant steed. He didn't think he could if he tried. Fae smiled at the reaction, so unusual for any mortal. Hunter wasn't afraid, as most outsiders tended to be; he was amazed, mystified, and this was only further confirmed all the longing glances he'd caught Hunter trying to hide. Zoltan was something he wanted to understand, a magical entity he observed and appreciated. It was almost incredible, how different Hunter could be when he wasn't afraid, when he truly embraced the mystique of their world.

"J-Just let me put my guitar…"

Hunter tore his eyes away with great effort and packed his guitar into the case. He set it neatly against the wall leading down his tunnel and then hurried to Fae's side.

"S-So…"

Fae sensed his eagerness and hopped aboard his horse, flinging a leg over its flank with a fluidity borne of practice and familiarity, and patted Zoltan's side. "Come."

Hunter stared at Fae's hand incredulously, as though still afraid Fae wasn't serious. He gripped the mount's back, intending to awkwardly shuffle his way on, when the faerie simply grabbed his arm and pulled him over as if he were weightless. Hunter had clearly never ridden before, surprised by the sudden jerk up onto the stead and shifting in his seat with his hands on Fae's shoulders.

"So…how to you…?" he trailed off, realizing something rather obvious. "There's no bridle."

"Hands around my waist," Fae ordered instead of answering.

This was said in a very matter-of-fact manner, though it was underriden with a cautious excitement. It was so rare that someone new would ride with the Hunt in the first place, but he had clearly never trusted another being with Zoltan like this. Not until now.

Hunter flinched, the tremble evident in his lapse in grip, and Fae turned with a frown of confusion. The Shadowhunter appeared flustered. "Uh, can't I just hold on like this?"

Oh.  _Oh._

Fae smiled mischievously, though not without some secretive pleasure. "Not with my horse."

Hunter reluctantly wrapped his arms around Fae's waist and laid his face against the back of his shoulder, strong and yet shaking with anticipation and anxiousness. Fae, stranger to emotion though he was, couldn't help but let the sensation of being close to another person wash over him. It never happened, really, not for his kind. It was warm, like an ember come to life, and it ignited not in flames but in feelings, all bright and exciting, pooling in the pit of his stomach. Was this what others experienced all the time, this rush of emotion? This head rush of giddiness, cotton on the brain? It was  _wonderful_ , but ever so distracting; no wonder the fey were considered so clever, the mundanes so emotional. They were living through this constant distraction and it clearly softened all of their thoughts, making them unable to think clearly. He wanted to exist there, to capture this brief moment and bottle its effect, but instead he brushed it aside to the back of his mind. He was busy, and his horse required instructions.

"Hold on tight," He warned, trying to ignore the lingering and impossible effects of this mortal boy, before urging Zoltan to run.

Zoltan was a magic horse - obviously - and as his master, Fae had the ability to simply communicate his feelings to his steed mentally. It wasn't telepathy, per se - Zoltan wasn't chatting it up in his head - but they could communicate without a word shared, and Fae could tell what his horse wanted and vice versa with just intuition. Overall, they got along pretty well, as was essential to their survival amongst the fey. Anything less than perfect precision could spell disaster for them.

Hunter let out a shout of surprise as the horse surged forward, his grip tightening as he pulled himself closer to Fae, flush against his back. However, he wasn't too concerned about Hunter's proximity; he was high off the feeling of freedom, the release of the wind and the hoofbeats echoing through the air. Fae let out a laugh as they surged out of the tunnels and into the open greenery. The cold breeze howled, nipping at their skin in a joyous frenzy, as the inky sky blotted out the regular world around them, pressing shadows into corners and allowing the moon to illuminate the creases of the earth, the dew on the grass, and the planes of their faces. This was intoxicating, from the smell of the outdoors to the sweep of the land, and Fae was in the Hunt once more, chasing down wisps of mystery, enjoying himself in the exhilaration of riding.

Hunter opened his eyes wider, as if just realizing what being  _alive_  could taste like, and he began swiveling his head to look around as they rode. They were far from civilization, though not entirely cut off from society, and Fae had a feeling that Hunter had seldom been outside the city before. Fae privately applauded, feeling so  _full_  he could burst, before giving Zoltan the order he'd been waiting for. The horse, with a mighty whinny, began to pick up speed.

"What are you doing?" his guest asked, the noise more laughter and awe than a question.

"You'll see, and you'll love it," he replied with absolute certainty.

There was no possible way that this boy, the one who sung about colors in the wind and chased down danger with silver knives and who yelled at the unyielding world wouldn't love this as much as he did. Not when he craved adventure, strived to be  _more_ , and had weaseled his way into their group so effectively.

Finally, the horse leaped, lightning crackling from its hooves, and hit not the ground but the air above it, kicking at nothing but the wind. Hunter cried out in surprise, whooping with excitement and absolute wonder as Zoltan started riding over what seemed to be an invisible path through the sky, ascending with every step as they began to fly. He tightened his grip once more but gazed over the sides of Zoltan's flank.

"This is amazing!" he gasped, briefly letting go to skim the clouds, silver moondust blurring past his outstretched fingers. Had he ever looked so happy, so animated before?

"What, humans don't ride the breezes?" Fae replied, voice shaking with pure happiness.

"Hell no! Airplanes have squat on  _this!_ "

The faerie had no idea what that was, but didn't let it concern him. He rode on, leaning farther forwards, and let a rare laugh escape his throat.

He let out another loud shout of triumph and Fae got the feeling that this was his first time ever feeling so free. Hunter was bubbling with laughter, urging them to go faster - which Zoltan and Fae had no arguments with. Zoltan could run at highway speeds when he was being held back, and could blow the sound barrier without breaking a sweat. The horse was a being of wind and storm, and these sprints were what he  _lived_ for.

Hunter's voice was lost to the elements, hoarse from yelling and singing and bellowing at the shining stars. He wanted to grasp every one, to hold each pointed light in his hands. He wanted to live up amongst the stratosphere. Once again, Fae was reminded of the song Hunter had been singing previously.  _Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?_  Now, Hunter could. Fae realized that the wind was even better than he'd remembered. There were winds of trouble, signalling death approaching or happening far off - black, murky, yet helpful for warning of the danger ahead to be better prepared. There were winds of the ocean, vast and holding seemingly infinite dangers, yet mystifying with creatures of all kinds - blue, calm yet storming with potential. Like Kieran, perhaps. There were winds of fire, destruction, atrophy and suffering - reds and oranges, warm and leaving ashes to be reborn from. Like himself, maybe. And there were winds of nature, life, peace, chaos, survival - purples and greens, both comforting yet ruthless.

Fae imagined Mark Blackthorn as yellow and dark green - surviving by the skin of his teeth, but full of hope that refused to die. Lock was certainly a mauve, or possibly a neon green - burdened from a long life, but hiding the darkness, burying it, with a distracting light, bright and flashy. Wolf was a navy blue - strong, wise, but unsure of his path in life and still desperately searching for it. He was in the underbelly of the night, but assured. Pyre was a blood red or an orange spark - she was constantly burdened by fears and was lashing out, burning with intensity, to try to find meaning in her life, even if it didn't sate her needs for long. She desired purpose, and was willing to do what she must to get it.

And Hunter? He was, at first glance, a generic black and white - a Shadowhunter. He tried to hide in a world he was born and trapped in to survive, but unlike Fae, he had little hope of even just a moment of freedom. If anything, his freedom only grew further by the day, while Fae had a somewhat stable lifestyle. But seeing him play his music, cry out in joy as they rode free for the first time, become friends with the people that others of his kind wouldn't even consider humans - when Fae witnessed Hunter at his truest, he saw a rainbow of personality, potential for so much more than a 'cookie-cutter' of a Shadowhunter, as Lock once put it.

As the night wore on, the shades of evening deepening and transforming, coming to the cusp of dawn, they approached the tunnels once more, and Zoltan started trotting at a slower speed. Hunter almost seemed to be out of breath, leaning his head on Fae's shoulder again, his arms still wrapped limply around the faerie's waist. Fae couldn't help but smile again. Odd. He hadn't ever smiled so much in such a short period of time. His face almost hurt. But Hunter was someone he would smile for any day.

Fae realized with a start that his emotions had changed again. His stomach felt tense, as though he should be on alert for something, but it was definitely not danger he was feeling. It was a type of content, so nice that he began to fear it - specifically the moment it inevitably left him once more. It was much like the bright warmth of before, only stronger, concentrated and drawn out like a string.

But where was this new warmth coming from? Could it be from the ride he went on? But he'd done things much more exhilarating in the past. The only difference this time was Hunter. Fae had previous passengers upon Zoltan - few and far between, as the horse was feared and quite picky, but the point still remained. There was no denying that Hunter was the source of these feelings. The question, now, was why?

Well, not so much  _why_. He wasn't stupid; he knew how these things happened. But Fae was not one to fall. He admired strength of will and of mind, and he looked to logic. In his society, there was little else to turn to, after all.

But wasn't this boy, whatever his true name was, an embodiment of those principles? He fought so hard inside his mind, aching to start something new, to be better than those before him. He constantly rebelled against the hypocrisy of the system just by existing. He refused to give in to the stereotypes of his kind, despite the compulsive whims of his family figures. And yet, he was still soft spoken, still caring and compassionate. He loved things he wasn't supposed to love, was enamoured with people and ways he wasn't meant to ever meet or experience. The more-ness of him constantly leaked through, and it was entrancing.

He realized with a start that if he were to enter a relationship, he would want those ideals. He would desire a partner who was clever and unrelenting, who fought for their beliefs, who examined situations from all angles. But he also wanted excitement, that feeling of freedom and happiness that could previously only be garnered from sprinting through the air. He wanted undeniable kindness, to be taken care of by someone else for once, or to at least have the option of allowing his careful composure to slip. He longed for an equal, but also an opposite, someone different and contrasting to himself, and someone who could be leaned on and could lean on him in turn. He desired that impossibly incredible tugging in his gut, the spur of clouds in his brain, and the utter certainty that he would never be let down.

What Fae desired more than nearly anything else was trust, was an unshakable assertion that someone loved him with the same ferocity they lived their life with, and not just the right-and-wrong ideals of his race. What he dreamed of, when he was perfectly honest, was someone he could go through this immortal life with as a constant partner, with no lies between them. The fey had enough half-truths already.

Hunter stirred some of that, met so many of those unspoken requirements. He would be far too easy to fall in love with, if Fae made that damnable choice.

But no. Fae needed to keep such feelings under control. He didn't need anything else to come and affect his ability to protect Kieran as well as his own pride, and nothing could be more vital than the insurance of his brother's safety and personal happiness. It was bad enough that Kieran was becoming distracted and Fae had to pick up the slack, but if he himself became distracted, everything could fall apart all at once. The Wild Hunt and Faerieland itself was not a place to take lightly. One mistake and the already-shaky ground the two brothers stood on would crumble. Without Kieran, the Blackthorn boy would also suffer a loss as well - having become dependant on the luxuries of being acquainted and fawned over by a prince. Fae hated to admit it, but he cared about Mark because Kieran did. He became another liability, a second person Fae had to keep out of trouble, and without the excuse of being his brother on top of everything else.

But Mark being a half-faerie in the Hunt was one thing. Hunter, being a pure-blooded Shadowhunter, was far more trouble than Mark could ever be. He was to be untrustworthy, a menace to their kind. At the very least, Kieran could see Mark at any time, though it wasn't entirely approved of by the rest of the fey. Fae, contrastly, was risking a lot by seeing Hunter and the others, if not everything. It was in Fae's best interest to not allow this to continue into anything more dangerous.

 _You've spent your whole life catering to everyone else's whims, playing the safe route_ , a small voice in the recesses of his mind whispered, urging him to reconsider.  _What is one selfish thing if it means your happiness?_

He did his best not to give into those thoughts. They would only lead to pain.

"My Hunter," Fae said, gently untangling his companion's slim arms. "We have returned."

Hunter reluctantly and sat up, moving away. Both attempted to ignore the immediate absence of warmth. " _Your_  Hunter?"

"You are Hunter - Shadowhunter. You are my Shadowhunter, as opposed to all the others who share the title."

"Oh. Right." These words were blank, slightly disappointed, as if the speaker wished there had been something more there. Was there ever. "That makes sense."

Numbly, already longing for the sky and the open expanse of clouds once more, Hunter slid off, clumsily regaining his balance after sitting atop the horse for so long. He looked so miserable that Fae had to physically resist the urge to pick him up and deposit him back on the stead, promising to carry him far far away. He would never have to give this up, never have to go back home to the Institute.

By the angel, what was it about this boy that was so… _this_?

"So," Hunter began, face no longer flushed from the moonlight, the grayscale of the dark tunnels pressing in on his features once more.

Fae slid off his impatient mount and Zoltan began to pace; he never did enjoy the confines of the underground. "Yes? Did you learn from the experience?"

"What? Oh, yes. The ride was more amazing than I ever could've imagined on my own. If only more could understand the luxury of riding free like that. When I think about it, we Shadowhunters are the only ones without such a means of freedom. Vampires have supernatural speed, werewolves can run free in their wolf forms, warlocks can go anywhere with portals, and Faerieland is full of diversity. Meanwhile, we have to take cars or the subway, and if we're really desperate, we can pay warlocks for their portals. It's slightly underwhelming"

"Well, the vampires must avoid sunlight, the werewolves can often have trouble controlling their transformations, and we Fey have strict laws that restrain a good deal of our freedom if we don't prove our worth or are born with the right title. I have worked hard over countless days, nights, months, years, to earn the ability to come here during my rare visits."

Hunter chuckled, though it wasn't a joke. Was this a classic example of irony? Humankind was very unorthodox. "Well, they say the grass always looks greener on the other side. A life you don't have can often seem better than the one you do."

"That statement rings quite true." If it meant what he thought it did, of course. Which was almost always suspect.

"This feels so surreal. A faerie and a Shadowhunter, speaking such an average conversation." His lips quirked up again, full of hope.

"Well you and I are far from average, my Hunter. Are we not?"

"If, by that, you mean I'm a disgrace to the title of Shadowhunter while you are the best faerie of all by your people's standards - understanding and wise, cunning and powerful, dedicated and caring, loyal and brave-"

"Please, Hunter, you overestimate my skills. There are things about me that my kind consider nothing but born defects."

"What? That can't be," he frowned. "Like what? You're so…I mean, you don't have to say anything, obviously. Sorry, I forgot."

"It is fine, Hunter," he reassured, placing a hand on his shoulder. It seemed scalding in seconds. "To name one example, I cannot sing. In my culture, that is often a travesty." He felt pride as Hunter cracked a small smile. "But you, however, are far from a disgrace. I've not heard of a Shadowhunter who could play such enchanting melodies."

Hunter rubbed the back of his head with a light chuckle. "Well, the song you heard before wasn't written by me. I can't write songs."

"But it is you who played, you who memorized the lyrics and melody, you whose voice I heard singing. You have talent very few, if not none, of your kind possess, much less pursue. Do not disregard your abilities, no matter how trivial they seem. Cling to them, for one day they may prove to be all you have."

"Oh, yes, I could play my enemies to death. I'm sure demons are cowering at the very thought of me strumming a tune to them."

Fae frowned. "Do not use your verbal irony on me, Hunter. It is quite an annoyance." He was still confused by the first usage tonight. He wasn't able to decipher another odd technicality.

"Sorry," He sighed. "But music isn't a weapon, Fae. At least, not one I could use in a real situation."

"Your singing can enchant the right - or wrong - enemies, or be used to impress one that wishes for entertainment as payment."

"Even if a situation like that were to occur, I don't think I would be brave enough to do that. I'm still just a student, and one amongst many. I've never  _had_  to be brave. Runes only go so far, and I don't believe Courage in Combat will help with my stagefright. I think there was said to be a 'Fearless' rune created by Clary, but fearlessness can be dangerous."

Fae stepped forward and pushed Hunter's chin up to look him in the eyes. "I have heard you at your finest, my Hunter. Once you have begun, you get lost in the sound, and no amount of fear can stop you. If it will help, merely play in front of an audience of one - just me. Of course, the others will not judge you either. I know you have greatness within you. I would be honored to help you in discovering it for yourself."

Hunter's eyes seemed to be lost in the process of staring at Fae's. Was he closer than before? He seemed closer than before. It was rather distracting. "I sing a lot of female songs. It's kinda embarrassing."

Fae cleared his throat and tried to concentrate on his words instead. "A woman is known for her own feats of strength. To the faeries, singing worthy of a woman is a compliment. To say otherwise would be to disgrace their sex - and would most likely result in a very unpleasant punishment. You, my hunter, have the enchanting power of a siren. Don't ever look down upon such an ability."

Fae didn't realize his close he'd gotten to Hunter (so it wasn't just his imagination) until he caught a glimpse of the Shadowhunter's eyes, blue and full, closing hesitantly - just before his own fell shut. He knew - he  _knew_  - he should stop, and a part of him screamed to do so. This went against everything he ever learned. He should stop. Fionn didn't break the rules, didn't allow himself to feel these things for mortals, let alone Shadowhunters. And yet a steely part of himself, the version that claimed it wanted equality and trust and love and all those other forbidden things, the one that rallied in silence and waited for something good to come around, let him close the small distance to brush his lips against Hunter's.

It was electric, like being lit on fire and melting from within. It was the simplest thing, just skin upon skin, and yet it was a meeting of wrongs made right. A bad, bad idea made into something incredible, though incredibly forbidden. Yet there was an excitement, an anticipation to breaking the rules.

It was like being alive.

Really, it was like coming home, or how coming home was supposed to feel.

He barely had time to mull over the pleasant feeling before his senses prickled with intruding magic. He pulled away suddenly, thrusting the Shadowhunter behind his stead, and audible 'whoosh' resounding in a space that had previously been silent. Fae turned and threw out his arm in an underhand swing as his Io flew forward to attack.

"Whoa!"

A barrier went up to block the weapon at the last second, crackling with energy, and Fae relaxed, flicking his wrist to have it return to him.

"A little warning next time would be much appreciated, thanks. Nice to see you too, Fae," Lock exclaimed with a heavy bout of sarcasm. "Is that a yo-yo?!" he asked with incredulous annoyance.

"This? It is an Io, an ancient and formidable weapon crafted from-"

"Yeah, yeah, but we non-faeries call it a yo-yo."

Fae rolled his eyes with obvious distaste. "What a terrible name. This is a tool of grace and power. It takes many years to master, and yet you have dubbed it a toy with childish slang."

"You scared the runes off us, Lock!" Hunter snapped, still red in the face and trying to recover. "Do you always have to make an entrance?!"

"I have no runes, and I do not claim to be an expert, but I don't believe it is possible to…wait, was that merely a figure of your speech?"

"Damn, I forget that you're clueless," Lock chuckled. "Yes. A basic rule to follow is that if it makes no sense, it's usually just a figure of speech."

"I have noticed that trend, yes."

"Anyway, I noticed when you guys came, but I was busy with work. I'm a teacher at the Shadowhunter Academy now, but I obviously still have clients and couldn't join you earlier as a result. Did I miss anything interesting?"

Hunter tensed and began to stutter as a light blush took over his face. "W-Well-"

"You missed quite a performance by our dear Hunter," Fae said, keeping his voice unwavering, though he was still recovering from both shocks on the inside. "I, personally, found it entertaining, but he doesn't believe me when I praise his ability."

Lock rolled his eyes. "Of course. Come on, Hunt. You're great! I've known tons of famous musicians, but you're awesome! Better than Magnus, for sure. He once tried to play the charango to impress this guy - it was terrible."

He shuddered at the memory and managed to get Hunter to smile. He appeared visibly relieved.

"Forgive me, Lock, but I fear that I have stayed too long," Fae said. "I don't wish to give the impression that I abhor your presence-"

"Come on, Fae, I know you're better than that. Just the fact that you acknowledge the concern for my feelings proves you mean well. I think. Besides, we know you don't have a lot of control over your schedule. Don't get into trouble just for our sake."

"My thanks, Lock. I shall repay your kindness someday."

"Hey, I'll even give you a discount."

"Lock, he's gonna take that seriously," Hunter complained.

"Sorry, sorry. I'm not gonna charge you money or anything like that. You make it up to me by being my friend, Fae. Again, I think. It's hard to tell what's 'affectionate' for the fey. Although I won't protest to any gifts or favors…"

Hunter rolled his eyes and shoved Lock. "Haven't you ever learned not to toy around with faeries, you crazy warlock? How old are you again?"

"That's something you shouldn't ask a warlock you aren't familiar with if you don't want to offend them. Or vampires, either. But if you must know, I'm 300 or so. And I'm obviously very mature. In here."

He pointed to his chest dramatically and Hunter laughed, shoving Lock again. Fae felt a surge of emotion, hearing Hunter's joyful laughter. He wanted to hear it more, he wanted to be the cause of it. But he couldn't act like Lock, use sarcasm, verbal irony, or make jokes. Fae didn't know how to do that, and he probably never would; it wasn't in his nature, and the skill would be useless in the Hunt. Not to mention his inability to lie posed an issue as well.

Fae swallowed, turning and boarding his impatient stead. "Until we meet again." He caught Hunter's gaze. "I look forward to it."

"Yeah," the brown-haired boy echoed, throat suddenly dry. "B-Bye…"

"See ya!" Lock called, unaware of the tension between them.

"Farewell."

Fae let his horse take him away, trying to scold himself. Their lips had brushed, the very ghost of a kiss, and it was already phenomenal. As if he needed reminding, the human was a Shadowhunter. He didn't even know his real name.

And yet.

 _And yet_.

He could almost imagine it all over again, the phantom pains of a mouth against his. How invigorating, how magical it was. He tried to push it down again, but his emotions refused to settle. The worse thing was probably that he still wanted to know what it was like, to fully kiss the Shadowhunter, and everything that might happen afterwards.

He arrived back at the campsite and took a single withering look at the scene. He could not go straight back; not like this. Instead, he changed directions and began walking the distance to the river they'd acquired water from. Zoltan curiously watched as he dunked his face in the icy stream, trying to erase the image of Hunter with closed eyes and bowing lips, pressing into him. A real kiss, a full one, long and lasting.

SPLASH!

Fionn let the icy water bite into his skin and deprived himself of air until he grew desperate for relief. He forced his brain to focus on survival instead of his stupid thoughts. How had he been reduced to this level of pathetic within a single night? As he had mulled over so many times tonight, he'd never let love tempt him before, but maybe that's what made him so unprepared for this recent attraction.

He sulked back to the campsite, ordering his horse to leave him alone, and seeing his brother lying awake. He must've woken him when he'd arrived early, before he'd gone to the stream. If Kieran noticed the fact that Fionn's hair and face were still damp, he didn't comment on it.

"Brother, it is later than I expected. I feared something bad had occurred to delay you."

"I had an unplanned excursion, but nothing threatened my health that I couldn't handle."

"An excursion of what kind?" he questioned, cocking his head. If anyone was likely to make a secret 'excursion', surely it was Kieran himself.

"Hunter wished to learn of the faeries, to see what his kind refuses to acknowledge. He needed an outlet to his oppressive life, so I showed him what it felt like to ride - what we do when we need a moment of solace in the harsh world we call life. He quite enjoyed it, despite his ineptitude in the skill."

"You took him on Zoltan?"

"Yes."

Kieran looked stunned, and he was right to be. The animal was fickle in the best of times and could hardly tolerate being glanced at the wrong way, let alone being in such close proximity to a strange human boy. "And your steed allowed it?"

"With no protests. I am surprised as well. Perhaps I have weakened his will too far in taming him."

"Or perhaps he approved of Hunter because  _you_  approved of him. The same thing happens whenever I ride with you - Zoltan did not protest as he does with anyone else." Kieran raised his head with possible understanding. "What are your intentions towards this Hunter?"

He still felt the chill from his damp hair and face in the night air, smoothing over the raw and anxious prickling of his skin, but his stomach twisted all the same.

"I…I wish not to say."

For once in his life, his ability to speak nothing but the truth became a hindrance. He had never encountered a scenario where he wished he could lie - not until now. He had always prided himself on his ability to speak like a faerie, answering cryptically, allowing people to assume things, etc. He had been in positions where he didn't know how to answer before, but that was a long time ago. He'd long since learned his lesson.

A soft smile formed across Kieran's face, and Fionn knew that he'd given himself away. "You love him."

"That is ridiculous. I don't even know his name. I wish I could stop these troublesome emotions."

"Maybe, but at the same time, you need a break, a release from this life of throwing your personal desires away in favor of mine. You deserve to have this one thing."

"It's not a matter of deserving, brother, and you know that as well as I do. I promised our mother that I'd look after your well being. You and Miach are one thing, but I risk too much to even interact with Hunter - and the others, of course." He shook his head as if to get back on track. "I will not throw away our lives -  _your_  life - because I pursued something so foolish."

Kieran frowned. Fionn had always been this way, hiding, fighting, pushing Kieran so that he would be strong enough to handle the world on his own. He became the father that Kieran deserved, because their true father was someone Kieran needed to be protected from. At the same time, Fionn never allowed himself to trust anyone else, never had a childhood and never allowed himself to be happy. Kieran had grown up now, he could handle himself, he had dealt with his brother's tough teaching and had learned how to survive in the Hunt faster than he might've had he been alone. He had admittedly gotten a little softer thanks to Mark, but that didn't mean he'd let his guard down - rather, it meant he was even more careful because he knew that he didn't want to lose what he had with Mark, especially because of his failure to do as his brother had taught him all his life.

"It's not foolish to love," he argued. "Not when it's true."

"It may not be love. It's the beginning of something, perhaps, but love is dangerous for us. It twists one's mind." Fionn scoffed. "Besides, love is foolish in any situation. However…foolishness does not equate to worth."

Kieran let his small smile build, but Fionn gave a small glare that held little anger behind it. "Wipe that smirk off your face."

Kieran laughed. "It seems you've spent more time with your friends than I had previously assumed. You are adopting their speech patterns."

"Yes, it is a grueling process. I must concentrate very hard to keep my words straight."

The blue-haired faerie chuckled. "I'm enjoying your evolution more and more."

"And I am not enjoying your enjoyment of my change. I will still be your brother no matter what happens, and you'd best be content with my strict teaching style."

Kieran smiled. "I expect nothing less."

Though Fionn trusted Kieran and knew he was capable, he still couldn't leave him - especially in the Hunt - to fend for himself, alone. Mark was a friend, but he couldn't support Kieran yet, not as well as Fionn could, at least, because he has his own problems. There were many looking to find any excuse to humiliate the former princes and the half-Shadowhunter, and the relationship between Kieran and Mark could only make it worse. Gwyn could only do so much without showing favoritism. Though Fionn knew, in the back of his mind, that Kieran was stronger than Fionn would acknowledge, he would never truly be prepared to let his brother go off on his own. It was a dilemma that Fionn knew he would one day have to face. He was working on it.

"Besides, someone must make up for your softness while you pursue a  _boy_."

Kieran shoved his brother. "You are the one spending far too much time with these outsiders. Now, who is the one that must pick up the slack?"

"It seems I influence you in turn, my Kieran."

"Do not claim to be so important. Mark has influenced me as well."

Fionn laughed with his brother. Perhaps he  _was_  changing too much, and perhaps it was for the better. He had allowed himself to smile with his brother, laugh with him, and even joke around. This was the relationship he wished that he could have more often but refused to allow himself because of his fear of being seen as weak and having his life fall apart. Even in moments like this, being with no witnesses but his brother, he kept up the act because of his paranoia. Now, he'd dropped his guard within the first 60 seconds of the conversation.

He wanted to live like this more often, he wanted this freedom, and he was more than tempted to fall into this ever more risky lifestyle once more. But laughing beside his brother also reminded Fionn of the reason he couldn't ever dare risk being caught. His brother's laughter was more awakening than any icy stream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, Pocahontas.
> 
> Disney songs are damn catchy, man, and when you grow up and learn to actually pay attention to the lyrics some become even better. And some reveal very sinister and adult themes that our innocent young minds didn't understand the first time round. The internet can sometimes ruin your childhood by uncovering the secrets of the world.
> 
> :)
> 
> Chapter title inspired by 'Fly Me To The Moon' by Frank Sinatra


	5. One Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Accidental birthday update! So yeah, I've written out a lot of this story and holy crap I ramble. Amalspach wants to add things that I hadn't added in my original draft - things that I agree on but got lazy with while writing (*cough* other character arcs besides my main two characters *cough*) - so this is gonna be EVEN LONGER!
> 
> If anyone has read any of my other stories, you know that I'm gonna be putting these wonderful creatures through the meat grinder MWAHAHAHA!
> 
> But for now, fluff, fluff, and more fluff. Did I mention fluff?
> 
> :)

Finn was conflicted, which wasn't anything out of the usual. Being a teenager was a whiplash of idiocy all day every day, but this time that underlying confusion was overwritten by a deep, staving boredom. He had nothing to do, and though he would normally go and see the others, he didn't want to risk meeting with Fae. Besides, he'd had enough of seeing Wolf, Pyre, and Lock in his everyday life. The Shadowhunter still covetted his alone time and any lapses of normalcy, thank you very much.

However, now both he and his sister were alone in his dorm, together without anything to remotely stimulating. Together they sprawled out on the floor bonelessly, the green eyed girl just to his left.

"Aren't you gonna go visit your little friends?" Merida asked, voice flat and disinterested. "Because I want to die. Do you want to die?"

"I don't have to spend every living second with them, Mer," Finn mumbled back, laying on the floor and staring at the ceiling. "And you can't die on my floor. The blood alone would be a nightmare to clean up."

"Well, the mopping would be good for you. Maybe you'll actually develop muscles in those noodle arms."

He lifted an eyebrow. "Noodle arms? That's the best you can do?"

"Not very impressive, I know, but I'm tired and bored out of my mind. I promise I'll save my more creative insults for later," she sighed, and he snorted, whacking her across the stomach. She let out a wheezy laugh. "Remind me again why I associate with you?"

"My dashingly good looks?"

"Ah, you don't have those. Maybe it's your unrelenting stubbornness and inability to admit when something is bothering you."

Finn moaned, rolling over on the stained dorm-room carpet and burying his face in the probably-diseased fabric. "Mer, I will kill you. Multiple times, if necessary."

"Sorry for assuming," she began in a way that betrayed she wasn't apologetic at all, poking his shoulder relentlessly as only siblings can. "You just seem to be at your happiest when you come back from a meeting. The only one that might seem bad in the slightest is your-" she paused for dramatic effect, drawing out the words, "- F-E-Y." Graciously, Finn let that part slide.

"Yeah, but it's not like I don't get tired of them. How'd weapons training go for you?"

"Ah, don't think I don't notice that subject change. I'm smarter than I look."

She patted his head reassuringly as he started to scowl into the floor. "Mer, I-"

"In response, archery only gets so amusing when you're ahead of everyone else and the fed up instructor has to walk your classmates through  _everything_ , step by step. There was this one girl named Molly who could keep up with me and she seemed pretty nice, and there was a guy called Aaron who was halfway decent, but otherwise it was pretty lackluster." She twiddled her thumbs, looking blankly at the ceiling once more with obvious distaste. "Selina tells me she met that famous guy named Simon, by the way. She seemed to like him, and I guess that's good enough for me."

"He was in one of my classes, but I never got to meet him personally."

"Shame, we could use a masculine presence in our midst." Again, he tried to slap her, but this time she shoved him in retaliation. "You hit like a girl."

"Why thank you," he replied, yawning loudly.

Another stretch of quite enveloped the room for several minutes before his sister grunted and rose to her feet. "Well, it's been an absolute riot laying on your disgusting carpet and counting specks on your ceiling, but I wanna go and use my free time to get some actual food. The stuff on campus is enough to give any self respecting human being nightmares." She stretched languidly before extending a hand. "You wanna come?"

He finally sat up, albeit with great reluctance. "Do I wanna go out and watch you repeatedly gush over everything, have an hour long internal debate over whether or not you want it, and then put it down again, just to move onto the next thing within eyeshot and repeat the process until an entire night has gone by, then hurriedly buy something at random, and then listen to you rant about said purchase for the next century? And I'm not even talking about the food yet, because you will inevitably get distracted by anything and everything along the strip, be it clothes, electronics, or miscellaneous objects that have nothing to do with the shopping trip we're on." He shuddered visibly. "Target alone is a nightmare with you. So how about no?"

She smirked. "Suit yourself. I'll just steal Selina from her room and leave you here to sulk in your loneliness all on your own."

"I'm not lonely. Honest. And I'm perfectly capable of entertaining myself!" He really, really wished it didn't sound so desperate and pleading.

"Riiiiiight," his companion slurred, flicking him on the nose. He frowned spectacularly in response. "Please, for your own sanity, go see your little friends. Honestly, it's good for you to get out more instead of playing emo music all day long."

"I don't play  _all_  emo music. There's a depressing amount of Disney mixed in there, too."

But she was already walking out.

Finn sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. Another three days of being stuck in this place. He didn't want to risk seeing Fae again, yet at the same time, he wanted to see Fae more than anything in order to resolve this…whatever it was they fell into. Already, he didn't get to talk to the faerie as often as he liked to, and this could not ruin their friendship or he'd literally melt. If he left this lying in the air, the place the warrior came to for sanity would be, in effect, gone, and Hunter simply refused to take that from him.

The shadowhunter wanted to say that he completely regretted what he'd done, but he couldn't. Just envisioning the sensation of nearly kissing Fae for a second made his heart clench rather uncomfortably. He felt the jolt go through him, a sudden and dizzying anticipation of heat, but it had ended too soon. He wanted it, and he didn't know why. It was Fae. He was…well, to put it plainly, a  _he_. Finn was attracted to girls…right?

Well, now that he thought about it, it wasn't so much that he didn't like girls and liked guys instead - he just never pursued  _any_  romance before this at all. He hadn't ever really thought about what gender he found appealing; he had simply swept dating in its entirety under the metaphorical rug. Everyone just sorta assumed he liked girls, and he had never said anything about the matter. They were pretty, and they might occasionally make his heart race, but the offhanded guy could do the same under the right conditions. Maybe that was a sign that he swung both ways?

It was one of those life events he just hadn't ever considered from an investigative standpoint. He wasn't sure how to react, how he was supposed to handle his feelings. He just knew that he didn't want to lose Fae, one way or another, and he needed to keep these urges under control. He'd get over it eventually. It was probably just his teenage hormones finally kicking in since he found a place that he could finally be himself, relax, and wasn't under 24/7 stress.

Hunter concentrated, focusing on the small bit of magic that Lock had put within him to connect him to the meeting ground wards, and found that the only person in there was Fae. Hunter took a deep breath. Well, it was exactly what he needed - a chance to confront Fae and Fae alone. He could apologize, they could get on with their lives, and no one would ever have to know what happened between them.

Hunter picked himself up, debating whether he should bring his instrument or not. Maybe he could play a little after he resolved things with Fae. Music calmed him down, one way or another, and he might need his guitar if things  _didn't_  go well with the faerie. If things  _did_  go well, Fae said that he'd help Hunter with his stage fright by being an audience of one. Hunter needed to learn one way or another, and Fae was convenient. Maybe starting with just one friend would be the right way to go. If all else failed and he couldn't get the words out, maybe he could use the music as an excuse to talk to Fae, taking up his offer on help.

Finn planned out the encounter in his head, grabbing his guitar case and thinking of a song that Fae might like. For a moment, he wondered if Fae could sing. He'd mentioned before  _that night_  that he wasn't very good, but the teenager simply didn't know if he believed that. Anyone could sing, and while that didn't guarantee quality, had Fae ever had the chance to try? He imagined teaching Fae to sing, maybe even play the guitar. Finn smiled at the image of Fae attempting to get the guitar to make the right sound and accusing it of treachery when Finn could play it and he couldn't.

Finn pulled his crystal out of his pocket and opened the portal, hopping through and becoming Hunter. He arrived a short distance away from their actual meeting spot, but Fae's senses were stronger than normal and the tunnels were specifically chosen to echo in case of intruders.

Maybe Fae would act as though nothing happened. Well, nothing really  _did_  happen, but something  _almost_ happened. Just the brush of lips on lips, not even a full  _something_. Maybe he was over-thinking this, but he couldn't just dismiss the fact that he'd almost kissed his friend. He began to have second thoughts, but he knew that he needed to just get this over with.

"Fae?"

The faerie came walking out of his tunnel and into the soft light illuminated by a spell from Lock. "Hunter. I did not expect you." Ah. So this was where they were now.

He was acting so formal; did that mean that he didn't want to bring up the subject? That he just wanted to forget about it and never mention it? That was how faeries got around things, he supposed. If they acted as though nothing happened, eventually it would be easy enough to forget and they would be able to successfully ignore the incident forever.

Hunter's resolve quickly faded. He didn't want to be the one that brought something up if Fae clearly wanted to forget.

"I-I…you said that you could help me with my stage fright by being an audience of one. And since you were the only one here, I…well, I guess I figured…" Why was he stuttering? Really, why was this a problem?

 _Way to play it cool, hero. You're a regular Cassanova, for sure_.

Fae's face relaxed into a small smile laced with a tinge of sadness, not realizing the boy's internal struggles. Thank the angel he was emotionally stunted and couldn't read facial cues. "I would be honored."

Hunter nodded and sat down in his usual spot, slightly relieved if he was perfectly honest, and Fae settled against the wall. Hunter appreciated the gesture, and pulled out his instrument. He pretended to tune it even though he really didn't need to as a method of wasting time before taking a deep breath.

He strummed the practiced cords of a song he'd been working on for a couple years now, so he knew it pretty well. He wondered, for a moment, if Fae would understand that the lyrics were metaphorical, and he began to panic thinking about how he hoped Fae wouldn't be concerned throughout the song until he got the chance to explain.

It was too late to back out, and so he simply concentrated hard on starting properly.

" _I'm bleeding out_ ,  
" _So if the last thing that I do_ ,  
" _Is bring you down_ ,  
" _I'll bleed out for you_.  
" _So I bare my skin and I count my sins_ ,  
" _And I close my eyes and I take it in_.  
" _I'm bleeding out_ ,  
" _I'm bleeding out for you_ ,  
" _For you_."

Hunter didn't even think about looking over at Fae, worrying about what he was thinking or reacting. He moved into the next verse, shoving all his concerns to the back of is mind for later. He concentrated on his notes in both his singing and his playing. The multitasking did well to distract him, leaving him little processing power to think about anything else - including how disastrous he might sound. He made it to the chorus again and breezed through that, bracing himself for the next verse.

" _When the hour is nigh_ ,  
" _If hopelessness is sinking in_ ,  
" _And the wolves all cry_ ,  
" _To fill the night with hollering_ ,  
" _When your eyes are red_ ,  
" _And emptiness is all you know_ ,  
" _With the darkness fed,  
_" _I will be your scarecrow_.

" _You tell me to hold on_.  
" _Oh, you tell me to hold on_.  
" _But innocence is gone_ ,  
" _And what was right is wrong_.

" _'_ _Cause I'm bleeding out_ ,  
" _So if the last thing that I do_ ,  
" _Is bring you down_ ,  
" _I'll bleed out for you_.  
" _So I bare my skin and I count my sins_ ,  
" _And I close my eyes and I take it in_.  
" _I'm bleeding out_ ,  
" _I'm bleeding out for you_ ,  
" _For you_."

Hunter found himself tapping the body of his guitar during parts to keep the beat, and not in a small and unnoticeable way, but specifically loud enough to be heard as a part of the song - something completely unplanned, yet he found that it was fun to improvise, lost in the music and forgetting that he had an audience - or no longer caring about that audience at all. ' _Bleeding Out_ ' by Imagine Dragons was upbeat and catchy, despite the possibly dark tone of the lyrics.

Before he knew it, he was holding out the last notes of the song and finished, letting the moments after the song fade away. The high of the song took time to wear off, and it was always good to stay in character a little after the end before you broke the atmosphere. Hunter instinctively knew the amount of time needed based on the rhythm of the song and the pacing of it, feeling comfortable all the way up until the end. He let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding, relaxing his grip on his guitar. It was then that he remembered Fae sitting at the other end of the room, taking a moment to mentally prepare himself for having to ask for his reaction. He remembered all the problems he had thought of before. Was Fae going to be asking questions about the truth of the lyrics? That was going to be a long conversation, for sure, and Hunter was already planning the details out.

"That was brilliant," Fae said honestly.

Oh, right, friends are supposed to support each other and encourage one another. He'd forgotten about that.

Hunter felt the twisting of his stomach from embarrassment. "T-Thanks. I like that song and I've been working on it for a while. It was written by someone else, by the way, so they weren't my lyrics."

Fae gave a smirk. "You didn't deny my compliment."

Hunter flinched in surprise, thinking back. "Yeah. I mean, no, I didn't." He hated being awkward. He was absolutely fine around everybody else, and then  _this_  happened every single time he was left alone with Fae.

Were his hands sweating? Damnit, his hands were probably sweating.

Fae stood, walking over and then sitting down next to Hunter. "I would say that you made much more progress than I had initially assumed you would."

"Well, I don't think it's gonna be a new trend. It's just a one-time thing. I need a lot more practice doing stuff like this, and…I don't know. I don't think you can tolerate me for that long."

"I can tolerate Pyre's…" He paused, trying to come up with the word. "… _snappy_  attitude and mood swings-"

"I mean, we wouldn't say 'bitchy' because that would describe it perfectly," Hunter mumbled into his laugh, ears tingeing pink as his companion snorted.

" - as well as Wolf's over-confident remarks."

"The true marks of the avenging heroes are the hair, the mind-numbing attractiveness, and the complete obliviousness to their own god complexes. Love them all you want, they just cannot seem to fathom the idea that they can be wrong," he muttered again, smiling slightly. "Kinda funny, actually. All these fabios with perfect manes that flow in the wind and girls throwing themselves at them legitimately exist outside of sad young adult romances."

Fae was smirking now, shaking his head. "I was making a point. I  _am_ making a point. And then the conversation went from our usual comments on our emotional failings towards Wolf's blonde hair."

He was trying to be scolding, Hunter could tell. But by the angel, the Shadowhunter needed some semblance of merriment for his sanity and this (and really, it was quite the dish; late at night in an actual sewer after having been in high school all day, complete with total embarassment and the pain of having finally passed the initial awkwardness of 'will you even still talk to me since we almost made out') was going to have to do.

"Aside from the attitude, he's a literal Disney prince."

"Disney prince?"

"Ah, I'll show you one day. I can't believe I've never seen it before, though, with the hair, the baby blue eyes - it's a recipe for 'date me now'. Now all he needs is the hot girlfriend and the cycle will be complete."

"I think he has one in mind," Fae muttered wryly, glancing at Pyre's tunnel with the subtlety of a train wreck. "And speaking of things we had in mind, where was I?"

"Last I remember, you were going through our friends and subconsciously announcing how lucky we are that you put up with us," he hummed, staring at his feet. The smile remained. "Continue. I promise I'll try not to interrupt."

"I'll hold you to it," his companion replied, clearing his throat. "Right, so I can even tolerate Lock's ever eccentric style and… _flashy_ , for lack of a better word, personality. I will have to spend many more years, even centuries, with two of those aforementioned Downworlders. You, however, are quiet, soft-spoken, and talented. You are respectful and shy, willing to keep the peace, and yet you hold a bravery within that could topple mountains should you believe it would save a life. The only trait I must tolerate from you is your insidious denial of all things admirable about you."

Hunter felt the heat rising to his face despite their joking from earlier. See, and here was another disarming thing; he could never handle compliments from people he found attractive. Like, at all. It was rather unfortunate, really. "I'm not that strong or brave off the field. Not against my parents, at least. There are expectations to uphold, and I can never seem to make them happy. I just…" he fumbled for the words, mentally facepalming himself.  _Get a grip. You had your wits a literal second ago_. "I don't get involved in things I don't understand. Even my music is wrong, which is mostly because I'm self-taught. If you were to have a real musician ask me questions, I'd probably be unable to answer. In that sense, my musical talent is useless in any real situation. I hear that mundanes need to sight-read any music on demand, yet I play by ear. It takes me ages to read one note on sheet music, and I taught myself how to hold my fingers. I probably don't even do it right."

Fae chuckled, as he clearly didn't notice the way the teenager was repeatedly kicking himself mentally. Ah, one of the good things about having other friends who were stunted from regular societal cues. "You are only proving my point further. I have always wondered, but I cannot fathom the answer myself. Why do insist on belittling yourself as as you do?"

"I suppose I'm just used to it. My dad never approved of my music, and frankly it's the only thing I thought I excelled at. When you've gone your whole life hearing that your dreams aren't worth it and that you're no good, I suppose it becomes easier to believe it." He laughed slightly, though with no humor behind it. "He's gotten mad at me about it a lot. He scolded me the first time, and got increasingly angry when I didn't quit. Finally, I missed a training session because I was practicing a song and lost track of time." His eyes glazed over, reliving a moment so poignant it was nearly tangible. "He broke my guitar. Pulled out the strings, totaled the base. It took awhile, but me, my sister, and my best friend managed to raise the money to buy a new one. We've been careful since then."

The faerie cocked his head. "What of your mother? I have heard tales that mothers in your societies are far kinder and it is their job to support their children when they are injured or saddened."

"She…" he swallowed, turning towards the shadows cast off in the corners. They were easier to look at. "She died several years ago, back when I was ten. She was lovely, though: kind, beautiful, and selfless to the very end. My father doesn't talk about it, but he was seriously messed up when she died, and I have a feeling it contributed to everything else. My sister looks a lot like her and is a great hunter, so in his eyes she's the prodigal child, but he's never satisfied with me. I can't go a single meeting getting some kind of 'lesson'. My step-mom was married to him solely for political reasons, but she's just as bad as him. She might be worse, actually, because I'm not really her son." If anyone could understand politics disrupting family affairs, it had to be Fae, right? "Anyways, in the life of a Shadowhunter, even a mother isn't always meant to be your friend - at least not forever. A couple years ago, when my parents were moved to Idris while my sister and I remained at the Institute, I was so relieved. It would be far easier to hide my music from my father." He took another pause, trying to figure out what to reveal next. "Before he left, though, I played along, pretended to be the person he wanted me to. I had tried before, tried to do what he wanted, but this time I really through myself all-in to it, even adapting my mannerisms in the months before they were off." Hunter scratched the back of his neck. "It was surprising how much things changed during that period of time. He treated me with respect only when I was lying about who I was, which was honestly the hardest thing I've ever done. I felt more relieved than I had in forever, and yet it was the time when I was least happy."

Fae hesitated, looking down and considering his words. "Hunter…did he abuse you?"

Hunter tensed, averting his gaze downwards and moving to pack his guitar. "No." Seeing his comrade's concerned expression, he rolled his eyes and gave a lopsided grin that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Only psychologically!"

"I need not to be a faerie to tell that you are lying."

"Look, it wasn't like he beat me to death or anything. He slapped me a couple times and punched me maybe once when I started shouting at him. After that, he stopped."

"Verbal abuse is still abuse, too."

"Thus, as I said, psychologically." Hunter slammed the lid of the guitar clase closed and snapped the locks shut. "It's my fault, all right? I mean, I'm not going to do a 'woe is me' soliloquy about the experience, but he always wanted someone who could grow into his shoes and I couldn't be that. I never listened to him when he was trying to help me become a proper Shadowhunter. I'm the one that's messed up, that can't be what he needs me to be. I don't even  _try_  for his sake!"

Fae frowned. "You are doing what is in your heart. You cannot change who you are, and you have the right to choose your path."

Hunter stood and turned away from Fae, gripping the handle on his guitar case tightly. "It's not that easy. You, of all people, should know what it's like, being in a world where you have to change things about yourself to survive."

Fae flinched visibly. "H-How…?"

Hunter turned back. "I don't have to be a faerie to understand that the Wild Hunt is tough. It's a matter of pride and survival there, and you don't have the freedom to do as you wish. I know that I probably have it better than that, but it's the closest thing that I can think of. Your life was planned out for you the moment you were born, you have a predestined path that you can't escape because it comes from your society itself. You're a faerie. You live as a faerie, you grow as a faerie, you train as a faerie, you think like a faerie, you act like a faerie, and if you step out of line, you lose your title, respect, and you lose your entire life because you aren't what they wanted you to be - what you  _had_  to be." He scowled. "I'm a Shadowhunter. I live as a Shadowhunter, I grow as a Shadowhunter, I train as a Shadowhunter, I think like a Shadowhunter, I act like a Shadowhunter, and if I step out of line, suddenly I'm a disgrace and I lose my entire life and credibility because I wasn't what they thought I should be! I know that it's not the same, that you probably have it much worse, but it's just so  _frustrating!_ "

Fae stared for a moment, before he cleared his throat and stood. "Oh. Yes, I suppose I have no doubt that it is much harder in the Hunt than in your Institute. You are correct in assuming that you have an easier life than I. In the Hunt, it is a matter of pure survival, and I have no choice but to be who I am told. There's no deviation between ostracism and reputation or thriving; it is life or death. There are countless of my kind, many of my brothers included, who would jump at the opportunity to slay me." He let out a puff of air. "I don't blame them. That's how we are raised, but you are not bound by the same circumstances. If you wish to love music, then nothing should be allowed to stop you. You can excel at both your musical talents and your official obligations. Mundanes are kind enough to look past your professional experience - or lack thereof - should you show that you can handle yourself at the very least, and you could get lessons." He took a moment to narrow his eyes as if in contemplation, and if Hunter didn't know better he would swear the immortal was blushing. "I know not many Shadowhunters, but I know that you are one of the best, morality-wise. You are intelligent and open to understanding all perspectives. You have a kind heart, your melodies are powerful, and you could win anyone with just a glance. I can't imagine how any could deny you what you wish."

Hunter's head fell. "I can barely even sing if there are eyes on me, let alone speak out and make a difference. I can't fight for what I want."

Fae scowled and stepped forward, putting his hand underneath Hunter's chin to force him to look up. "You must stop this now. You are not brave right now, yes, but you can learn to become so in the future. That's something that comes in time, but you won't ever be able to build up to that point if you don't take some risks." He squeezed his face a little tighter. "Today you have proven that you can make progress with me. If you are kicked out of the Institute or have to run away, Lock wouldn't hesitate to assist you in finding a place to stay. You tell me of a loving sister and friend who keep your secrets and support your music. Do you think you are alone?" The faerie let go, seething. "Be grateful that you have allies. My own father believed that I was worthless, that I was not strong enough and could never be a man, and since he failed with me, he had Kieran instead. I did everything I could to prove myself. I pushed myself to be better than anyone else and conquered countless challenges, some of which were said to be impossible, but he never even blinked. To him, I would be nothing but a weak woman."

Hunter stared, because despite the faerie's hardships he hadn't even fathomed the idea that Fae could be anything but himself, mysterious and powerful. "You? B-But you're amazing! How could anyone not see that? You're strong, smart, loyal, and-"

"For a long time, I hated who I was as well, and I was forced to change myself if I wished to survive. One of the incredible things about humanity is that they have the potential to change, to adapt, and that's why I'm telling you that if your society doesn't approve of you than they are the ones who must think things over. I will tell you now, from personal experience, that remaking yourself because you have no choice is not a path you wish to take, and I do not want you to have to go through such an ordeal." He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I love you the way you are, and I refuse to see you throw your happiness away. I have seen enough of that in Faerie, and I need not to see it within this place, this sanctuary that I flee to so that I can be who I wish. This should be a safe haven for you as well, for if you cannot be yourself here, where can you? I tire of hearing you deny your worth like this. You are not perfect, but no one truly is and you are close enough for me. Do not lose yourself, because I could not bear to see you, my Hunter, disappear before my eyes as so many have."

For a long while, nothing was said. Nobody really  _fought_ for him like that, pushed for him, made him try to be better and told him that he was  _good_ , that he was loved. Selina and Merida, they were there, but they were also his family. It was easy to confuse genuine praise for familial obligation, but hearing it from someone else, someone who didn't have to care but inexplicably did, felt great. Like seeing the sun through a haze of clouds, dispelling a little bit of the gray.

It was only after a few minutes of silence that Hunter realized just how close Fae had gotten during his speech. They were so near that he could make out the flecks in his companion's eyes, glimmering golds and sterling silvers, as they danced around the irises. Shards of memorabilia, so bright, possibly the most entrancing thing he'd ever seen. Breath intermingled, sharing space, warm and comforting between them as it reminded Hunter of their near-kiss. Lips across lips, so slight and yet so potent - just the thought made his veins boil. It had made him feel important, undeniably appreciated and cared for. He wanted to feel that surge of emotion again, possibly more than he had ever wanted anything.

And then, in a move so deft and decisive it was impossible to tell who had started it, Fae's mouth was on his and everything else faded away. Finn couldn't believe there was a time that he thought their almost-kiss was the best thing that happened to him, because kissing Fae was so much  _better_  than a simple brush. He fell headlong into the current, feeling Fae's arms pull him in closer so there was no space between them. Fae's soft, shoulder-length hair, unbeknownst to them, had turned a shade of platinum-gold and was continuing to grow lighter and lighter still, something that had never happened before. Fae had never been this content, this  _lost_  before. Absentmindedly, the boy noticed that the faerie's lips tasted bittersweet, and oddly satisfying combination of smoke and honey, and the smell of a campfire filled Hunter's nose. Hunter was surrounded by nothing but the faerie, shuddering as he parted his lips and felt the heat where their mouths were fused together increase ten-fold. It only seemed to encourage Fae, his grip tangibly tightening and his breathing becoming more labored.

Hunter had never kissed anyone - not for real, not like this. He had no idea what he was doing, but Fae didn't seem to notice, let alone care. The tension from the faerie's shoulders had melted away, as did his thoughts, and as he gripped the teen a little tighter and pressed in a little closer Hunter found he was following suit. As it turned out, there was a lot about the art of kissing nobody tells you about. They didn't mention the fact that he'd lose all control of his limbs; hands can card through someone else's hair, cling to their shoulders, and cup around their jawbone without any commands or conscious intent. There's a heart-aching pleasure involved, dizzying and intoxication, almost painful but better than anything he'd ever experienced. It was like a desperate hunger that was finally being sated, a puzzle piece clicking back into place. People never bothered to inform him about the way he started to feel  _full_ , complete, so wrapped up in someone else that his own worries and problems fly back into their drawers. It's freedom.

Hunter had never realized how trapped he had really felt. He had known that things weren't perfect in his life, that he sometimes felt like he was slowly being worn away at each day, but things seemed different now. Like he wasn't so alone, like he was actually satisfied, and that made him notice just how miserable being on his own was.

"Fae…" he gasped suddenly, because humans have a biological need to breathe and if he continued he would suffocate to death.

Maybe, looking back, he should have allowed that to happen. It would have been a rather pleasant way to go.

He thought he heard the faerie say something, but even afterwards, when his mind was clearer, he couldn't recall what it was. His voice almost seemed to get lost in the air, warm and deep yet hazy, as though the sound was incapable of being heard and only the vibrations remained. For just a moment, if he concentrated hard enough, he thought he could remember the syllables that he'd heard, like translating a mnemonic device into what it stood for. He  _knew_  he could remember if he just…

Fae pulled away so abruptly that Hunter had no time to react. Frankly, he was still a little starstruck, still trying to process what had just happened. Wasn't the feeling of kittens and rainbows supposed to last a little longer? Damn, he wasn't  _that_  terrible, was he? Fae hadn't seemed to be too disappointed a minute ago, after all.

He was about to voice those thoughts exactly (and, you know, maybe demand that he get at least another minute to find his brain again or something before he was abandoned to the elements) when he began paying attention again to what Fae was  _doing_  as opposed to his withdrawal. Strangely enough, the faerie was standing a small distance away and frantically working to fix his disheveled hair, which was darkening to a rich maroon in his annoyed state.

Numbly, Hunter felt a rush of pride.  _He_  had messed up that hair, run fingers through it.

And then, with a knock over the head from reality, he realized what was going on.

"Dammit, Lock, why  _now?_ " the immortal hissed. "It's always something. Always! Decades and he never ceases to disturb my peace at every instance!"

The air hummed as a portal suddenly appeared, and Hunter scrambled to fix his own appearance, tugging down his shirt and blindly smoothing down his head. Hunter tried to reassure himself that Lock was just going to pop in like his normal eccentric self and everything would be normal. The warlock was so flamboyant and absorbed in his own problems that he was as blissfully ignorant in matters of the heart as the rest of them, surely.

Luckily, Lock was so lost in his own thoughts and prior excitement that he failed to notice their painful awkwardness. "Ta-da! I have arrived, party poopers!"

He looked between the two of them with a level of obliviousness near excruciating. Fae glanced over, hair growing deeper and deeper by the second, simmering with barely veiled frustration. Hunter sat in the corner, beyond flustered and trying his damndest not to twitch.

Lock tilted his head. "Did…I miss something?"

"I'm leaving," Fae declared.

Hunter shot him a panicked look, trying to convey, ' _You're leaving_ me _to explain this?!_ '

Fae glared right back, shouting out a silent message of, ' _I can't lie; better you than me!_ '

Fae whistled for his horse and climbed aboard with no real explanation or goodbye, simply swinging his legs over the side of his steed and clamouring off. Hunter resisted the urge to draw the faerie back and strangle him, but apparently murder is supposed to be counterproductive. The intruding warlock merely blinked, very confused.

"Is Fae angry at you? Did you guys get into a fight?"

In that moment, the Shadowhunter mustered all of the eloquence at his disposal in order to answer. "Um," he mumbled, eyes wide and somewhat traumatized, to the casual observer.  _Spoken like a true hero._  "Huh?"

"It was that scarring?" Lock frowned, knitting his brows together. "Wait a minute, did he finally snap at you because of the music thing?"

Hunter looked down at his guitar in his hands in confusion. The music thing? His insecurities?

Then he realized that the flashy immortal had given him the perfect route of escape.

"Yes! I-I mean…h-he tried telling me again, but I kept denying it, and then…then he snapped and told me about his f…a-actually it's not my place to say, but I realized he's got it so much worse than I do. He's risking everything just to come and talk to us, and yet here I am complaining about stage fright!" By the angel, he sucked at this. He probably looked borderline crazed.

Hunter buried his face in his hands both to emphasize his point and to hopefully hide anymore evidence of what had happened not five minutes ago. He's kind of an insecure mess anyways, but was what he was saying really a lie? In all honesty, Fae was surrounded by beautiful, tough, otherworldly beings all the time. He'd probably just kissed the teenager out of pity, and Hunter had stupidly decided to become clingy after a few compliments and some attention. Which was, you know. Sad. It's not like there was much competition for his affections, but projecting them onto one of his only friends was slightly terrible.

Well. So much for putting everything behind them.

Lock sighed, unaware of Hunter's inner conflict. "Look, Hunt. We all know you're great, but it  _does_  get a bit tiring hearing your protests again and again. Now, I know a thing or two about Shadowhunters, and I understand why you'd be afraid of getting on their bad side. Just know that we're all beside you. We're Downworlders, sure, but that doesn't mean we're unable to help."

"Fae said that too. If I got kicked out, you'd be the first person to offer me a place to stay."

The immortal snorted as if it were an undisputed fact. "Of course! I'm 300 years old, which is not too shabby for a warlock, so I've got plenty of resources if you need a home to settle into. Heck, you could move in with me if you trusted me enough. And I've got connections to Magnus, who's got connections to Alec, who's got connections to Robert Lightwood. I'm sure he can do something if all else fails."

Hunter shook his head, almost touched. "I don't think we need to bother him over just little me."

"We can and we would if necessary. No backing out now - you  _are_  worth bugging the Inquisitor for."

"That's hypothetical right now, and I think that's really nice of you to say, but-"

"No 'buts.' We should all work on your self-esteem. Constantly berating your children is the surest way to make them outgrow their insecurities, right?"

"That's…I mean, that's not right on a number of levels. Why are you allowed to  _teach_ , anyways?"

Lock stormed right past that idea, waving him off without being deterred in the slightest. "I should consult Pyre and Wolf about this. Perhaps we can get you to perform-"

"No! I can't perform! Are you crazy?!"

Lock smiled sadly, patting him on the head like a particularly amusing dog. "Oh, small child, you are adorable, and just as hopeless."

"Hey! I'm nearly nineteen!" he whined, stomping his foot. And  _no_ , he was not a  _child_ , that was instinctual. Obviously.

"Magnus looks nineteen and look at  _him_ ," the warlock hummed with a faux shudder, bopping him on the nose.

"He's like, 400. Immortals don't count!"

Lock laughed, which Hunter didn't appreciate. "Well, we'll figure something out eventually. Take it from a guy who's seen a few centuries - it's not healthy to block out the rest of the world and let your fears control you. You can perform in front of us, right? That's one step closer to getting over this stage fright."

"I can only perform when I think no one's listening or are distracted by something else. I have to pretend that there's no one in the room just to get started."

"Well there you go. You master the technique of pretending no one's listening, and you're all good. Fae means well, and you can make up with him later. You need a boost of self-confidence, my friend. I know a great place for Downworlders, Nephilim, and mundanes alike."

Why did that sound like some sort of invitation?  _Why?_

"It's a non-racist place and any fights or quarrels get you instantly expelled, so there'll be no Shadowhunter haters with bones to pick," he proceeded casually, leading up to his point with anticipation sparking in his eyes. He really, really didn't trust that look on the magic-user. Not one bit. "And so, if I were to tell you that there was a-"

"A party?" Hunter asked with dread.

 _Parties_. The downfall of every protagonist in a teenage rom-com. Instantly, he was suffering from the sort of shell-shocked delusions coma patients endured in stasis.

Clearly, though, Lock hadn't gotten the memo.

"You know it!" he grinned wickedly. "And no backing out, or I'll flay your flesh from your bones. It's not like I'm making you perform or anything; I'm inviting the whole gang, including Mr. Macho and Rebel-Without-A-Cause. It'll be great, and it'll maybe help you relax a bit."

Hunter groaned, but when Lock got into a party-mood, he was unstoppable. Perhaps it  _would_  be a good way to get his mind off things, even if the things he'd be preoccupied with would be trying to keep his drink from getting spiked. He didn't even want to  _start_  thinking about how he'd royally screwed things up with Fae. At least avoiding social interaction was a draining task that would block out his dark thoughts for a little while. So when Lock summoned his magic and sent a message to Pyre and Wolf kindly informing them (or, as the Shadowhunter perceived, borderline threatening them beneath the pain of an immortal death) to come along, the teen didn't stop him.

The night had already been long enough. What was one more agonizing hour?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title inspired by 'The Gun Song' by the Lumineers


	6. It's Hard to Breathe Sometimes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so remember what I said about every Sunday and getting a chapter ahead in editing? Well...ha, ha, ha, procrastination. Not to mention that I've written out nearly to the end of this story and things have gone a little off the rails but my muse has run away again.
> 
> Only a part of this has been edited, so this'll be updated later when we actually finish things.
> 
> :)

_Zytaveon was used to having clients of all kind, be it begrudging Shadowhunters, bright-eyed mundanes, casual vampires, or tough werewolves. He'd had faeries before, obviously, but never had he been so surprised until a certain faerie came pounding on his door one night, desperate for help. Veon had opened the door only to have his visitor rush inside and slam it closed again, looking positively terrified._

_"_ _Warlock, I need your help."_

_"_ _Hey, hey, slow down. I'm-"_

_"_ _Do_ not _tell me your name!"_

_Veon instantly snapped his mouth shut at the outburst._

_The warlock's visitor took a deep breath. "I mean only that I must not be allowed to identify you should one ask of this encounter. To you, I must only be called 'Faerie,' and you must only be called 'Warlock.'"_

_"_ _Okay, I'm following so far. But please, calm down. I can make tea, if you want. No one will harm you while you're here, I promise."_

_There was hesitance, but eventually Faerie nodded. Veon went over and started boiling water for the tea, while Faerie was directed to sit down on the couch. Faerie did so with extreme caution, looking around nervously like a child brought to the principal's office. When Veon returned with the hot cups, they were hovering over his hands with a little magic since they would burn to the touch. He set the cups on the table and put the tea bags in, but before he could warn Faerie, the cup was snatched up without any reaction to the hot tea._

_"_ _I am immune to all types of heat," Faerie explained, drinking the hot liquid with ease._

_"_ _So, what problem do you have?" Veon asked, feeling a sudden need to help. "I'll do anything I can to assist."_

_"_ _I sense truth in your words, however I hold no guarantee that you can perform the task I require."_

_"_ _That's yet to be seen. If you would explain?"_

_Faerie sighed nervously. "My father is the King of the Unseelie Court. Of his many children, I am not his favorite by any means. Every since my birth he has challenged me, tested me, and threatened my end countless times. Why he has allowed my life for so many years remains a mystery to me even now. However, he had deemed that if I do not prove myself before my 21st birthday, I shall be executed as a disgrace to my kind."_

_"_ _When's your 21st birthday?"_

_"_ _In a week."_

_"_ _A_ week?! _"_

_"_ _He has only informed me of this decree today. He has always opined his displeasure in me, however it seems he has grown tired of my insolence and has sought an impossible task for me to accomplish. He knows that nothing I do will be to his liking, I am not worthy of him. I would accept my fate without recourse, but something has come up. In return for my unbefitting existence, he has given my mother another child, a son. He will be born soon, and I surmise that is the reason he has decided I should be no more - that my usefulness has come to a close. Yet my mother has given me a request: that I protect my little brother. I cannot let him live facing the ire of my father alone."_

_"_ _What can I do to help? There's gotta be a way that you can prove yourself. Slaying a monster, winning public opinion-"_

_"_ _You can help me in only one way. I must be the one to accomplish the task on my own. I already have a plan in mind, but I will require one thing from you that I cannot accomplish myself."_

_"_ _And what's that?"_

_Faerie looked up to Zytaveon with fiery eyes holding a rage that showed Veon the many years of built up pain Faerie had held back and fought against. Now, Faerie was going to defy the Unseelie King for the first time, and Faerie was going to revel in these moments of freedom, of choice._

_"_ _I need you to-_ "

"Lock!"

Lock blinked out of his thoughts and saw Wolf snapping in front of him.

"Back with us, buddy?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. What were we talking about?"

Pyre rolled her eyes. "I need you to if I should wear this necklace or this one."

Lock sighed. "The red one goes with your dress, but the blue one brings out the color of your eyes, darling. I would swing either way, but the blue would probably be my vote."

"See, I  _told_  you!" Wolf shouted.

She scoffed. "Like I trust your opinion, mutt. It was a 50/50 chance he'd choose the same one as you, anyway. And just for that, I'm wearing the red."

Lock sighed, turning his attention to Hunter, who was nervously fiddling with the tie Lock had loaned him - along with a dress shirt. Hunter had been allowed to keep his black combat boots and pants, but since Lock was dragging him to a party, he insisted that Hunter be dressed up just a little bit.

Lock smiled and helped him retie the thing since Hunter had nearly pulled it off. "It'll be  _fine_ , Hunt, loosen up!"

"I can't loosen up! It's not in my nature, you know that."

Lock smiled. He remembered the first time that he'd met Hunter, and shockingly, he had been even  _more_ shy and introverted than he was now.

_Lock had been busy with an arguing vampire and werewolf for ages now, and he was relieved when there was a pounding on his door. The person was ready to bust it down - not that it would be a hassle to repair, by any means. Lock excused himself from the argument (although the two of them didn't seem to know that he was even in the room anymore) and opened the door to find it was Fae._

_"_ _Fae? Not that I'm unhappy to see you, but what are you doing here? Did something happen with-?"_

_"_ _I am not here because of my own problems, not entirely."_

_Fae suddenly shoved a brunette teenage boy through the door and into his arms. Lock caught the kid in surprise, before realizing that he had runes. "A Shadowhunter? Fae, did you go and kidnap a Nephilim?!"_

_"_ _I did not take him against his will. He did not protest…to a great extent._ "

 _"_ _Yeah, but why did you bring him_ here? _Hey, are you okay, kid? Please tell me we're not gonna be hunted down for this."_

_"_ _He attempted to jump from a building and when I saved him he began to weep. I have no experience with such situations, and I had no other allies that might be capable of aiding him. Forgive this intrusion, but even the Fair Folk understand the severity of suicide. To comfort is a skill I have not acquired over the years, and you have told me that my methods of encouragement are not suited to the task of assisting non-fey in their woes. So, as you would say, 'Do something!'"_

_Lock blinked. "All right, all right. Just come and sit on the couch, okay?"_

_Lock led the scared boy to the sofa and then hurried to the kitchen area to make some tea. When he returned, the boy had his legs pulled up into the fetal position, trying to sink into the couch. It was then that Lock remembered that he had other visitors - as they were currently staring down at the Shadowhunter curiously._

_"_ _You okay, kid?" The vampire girl asked._

_"_ _Of course he's not okay - he tried to jump off a building," The werewolf snapped._

_"_ _Well excuse me for trying to be nice. What else am I supposed to say? 'Get off your arse and man up, kid'?"_

_"_ _No, you should try and shut your mouth."_

_The Shadowhunter looked back and forth between them, probably scared out of his mind._

_Lock rushed in and pushed them back. "Sorry…Hunter. Let's call you Hunter. Short for Shadowhunter. This is…Wolf and, uh…Pyre. Yeah, that sounds cool. Werewolf, vampire, and I'm a warlock - Lock. That's Fae, he's a faerie. It's okay. None of us are going to hurt you._ Right? _"_

_He glared over at Pyre and Wolf, who rolled their eyes, scoffing and looking in opposite directions. "He's the idiot." "She's the vampire."_

_"_ _Don't mind them," Lock assured Hunter. "They're always like that, more childish than toddlers."_

_"_ _Hey!" "We can hear you!"_

_"_ _See? I adopt all kinds of Downworlders, and we_ never _grow up. We've got fangs, we've got claws, but most of all, we've got_ attitude _," Lock said in his best announcer voice._

_Lock gave a wink and saw Hunter fighting a smile._

_"_ _So, what happened with Fae? I mean, I get that sometimes he makes you wanna jump off a building, but I never thought someone would actually_ do _it."_

_"_ _I suspect I should take offense to that statement," Fae said._

_"_ _He does that a lot."_

_Hunter gave a small smile before looking down at the cup in his hands. After a moment, his hands started trembling, the tea beginning to ripple with the small tremors going through him._

_"_ _I…I…my…"_

_Hunter couldn't get the words out before he started sobbing again, his shaking hands dropping the cup and dumping the tea over himself, the couch, and the carpet - especially when the cup rolled off the couch and shattered on the floor._

_Hunter gasped when he heard the small 'clink' of the shattered cup and saw what had happened. "I'm sorry! I-I didn't mean to-!"_

_"_ _Hey, whoa, calm down," Lock interrupted, taking Hunter by the shoulders and holding him still. "I'm a warlock, I've held parties with Downworlders that have made_ much _bigger messes." He waved his hand and green flames swept across the mess, instantly causing all fragments of the cup and the tea to vanish. "See? No harm, no foul."_

_"_ _I-I'm a klutz, I'm sorry…"_

_"_ _Stop apologizing, you're fine. You must've been through something bad."_

_"_ _Here." Pyre dropped a blanket over Hunter's shoulders. "They say that blankets help with shock."_

_"_ _Who says that?" Wolf asked._

_She shrugged. "I don't know. But that's what mundane people do when something bad's happened. They give people "Shock-blankets" - or at least I think that's what they're called."_

_"_ _Wolf, go get him something to eat, will you?" Lock requested. "You know my house. Pyre, can you make some more tea? And both of you please avoid destroying my kitchen. Just because I_ can _fix messes doesn't always mean that I_ want _to."_

_The two grumbled but headed to the kitchen area._

_"_ _Now, just try and take deep breaths. Tell me what happened only if you think you can._ "

"Do I  _have_  to go?" Hunter whined.

Lock smiled at the Shadowhunter that stood before him today, seeing the large change that Hunter had gone through. He had barely been able to speak when they'd first met, so crushed by the life he had been born and raised in, nearly pushed over the edge - metaphorically and literally. It had taken a while for Hunter to even go back to the Institute after their first encounter. He'd slept on Lock's couch and never moved from that spot, only to go to the bathroom. Pyre, Wolf, and Fae had all come to try and talk to him, and Lock even saw Pyre get Hunter to smile (when neither of them knew he was looking, of course).

When Lock had gotten customers, he realized that they'd need a new place to gather if they wanted to keep meeting. Lock had thought up the tunnel systems that he'd played in a long time ago as a child, teleporting there and fixing the place up to be cozy enough for a hangout. Each of the tunnels led to numerous places, and Lock had long since cast a spell on the place so that it was already a maze, so with a little more magic, he had created portals and exit points for each of them to use. Lock had gotten into the project, excited at the prospect of having a hideout for his friends. He wanted to make sure that Hunter approved, that he had a place of sanctuary to come to when his life got frustrating. He never wanted to let Hunter be so hurt that he would consider suicide again. It was clear how unstable the boy was, trying to hold it together, but eventually snapping. Lock didn't want to let the Shadowhunter go back to the Institute at all, but he had conceded as long as that's what Hunter wanted. Each time that he came to the tunnels, Lock had been the first to answer the call, and the others had been pretty consistent as well. All of them wanted to look out for Hunter.

"Let's move it, losers!" Pyre called.

Lock waved open a portal and Pyre was the first to hop through. Wolf went in after her, before Lock dragged Hunter through as well. The night went pretty much as Lock had expected. Hunter had nervously socialized with people, Pyre and Wolf begrudgingly stuck together, pretending like they couldn't stand each other's presence and were only there for Lock and Hunter's sake. Wolf still pulled Pyre into a dance, and she only agreed so that she could prove that she was the better dancer.

Lock smiled as he noticed that Hunter was growing more confident in talking to the people around him. He wondered if Fae really was angry at Hunter for his denial of his performance skills. Fae wasn't one to get frustrated easily, having grown up biting his tongue and keeping his feelings in control. He was no different with his friends. He sometimes showed a smile here and there, voicing his approval over things, which was more than he would do back in Faerie, but still, those moments were rare. At the same time, his  _disapproval_ didn't come in big bursts, even if it did come easier to him. He never lost his temper. Especially with Hunter, the person that all of them had been gentle with ever since they'd met him.

Lock stared at Hunter. What had really happened between them?

* * *

Fae was angry.

Stupid Lock.

Stupid Hunter.

Stupid Fae.

Okay, so a lot of what happened was Fionn's fault. He and his stupid emotions. He had gone his entire life without giving in to his desires - every desire except protecting his brother. He'd given in to accepting Mark Blackthorn, but that was a decision based on Mark's strength. He was stubborn, but he fought for what he believed in, and no matter what happened, he would be a Shadowhunter. That pride could usually bring nothing but disaster - and it often did for Mark - but at the same time Fionn admired the courage it took to stand up for what he wanted. A courage that he couldn't and would never have.

But Fionn had never given in to romantic urges before. He hadn't  _meant_  to kiss Hunter, that wasn't what he had intended, but the Shadowhunter was stubborn to the point of being adorably humble. Fionn found himself telling Hunter things he wished to bury forever, things that he has had to suffer with the burden of for his entire life with no one to talk to about his problems. He had wanted to say more, too. He had wanted to confess everything, but had managed to keep the story as vague as he could manage at that moment.

Hunter's self-consciousness came from his father too, his society's expectations of him. They had their differences, obviously. Hunter had people in his life who cared about him, and he talked of them with great fondness. His sister and his best friend, Selina, all seemed incredibly close, and though he seemed to be the kind of person that would come to their aid at any moment they needed him, he didn't have the protective instincts that Fionn did over his own brother. He would defend them with his life, yes, but he was not constantly walking on eggshells, trying to keep his peers from drowning in a world where society itself will condemn you. Nevertheless, they were both afraid to be the people they were. They longed for a life that was different than everything they had ever been told they should aspire to. Maybe, because of that common strand, Fionn had just wanted  _someone_  to sympathize with, to understand his troubles. Yes, that might explain away his attraction to a Shadowhunter, of all things.

But he hadn't meant to  _kiss_  him, let alone get so…into it, as the mortals would say.

Dammit, he had just had this mental debate when he'd  _nearly_  kissed Hunter. Way to ignore the instincts and self-control that he'd built up his entire life. This could be disastrous if anyone found out for both of them. Fionn went hunting again, without cause or reason, using his Io to take down monsters swiftly and surely. Zoltan was happy for the run, but was concerned for Fionn's angered state. Fionn felt his concerns through their mental link, but swiftly told the beast to shut up. He didn't need any more thoughts in his crowded skull.

When Fionn finally returned with his spoils, he sulked in his shelter. He needed to stop this. He needed to apologize, tell Hunter that he regretted it (he would find a way to  _lie_ , some how, some way), and the boy - far too kind for his own good - would respect Fionn's wishes if he hinted that he wanted to simply forget what happened. It would be cruel for both of them, but it would be for the best. Hunter probably didn't want to even try a relationship with a  _faerie_  of all creatures with his already-strict lifestyle. Now that Fionn thought about it, Hunter didn't even know he was a prince. The title meant very little in the Hunt, but he could imagine Hunter's shocked face as he muttered, ' _I just kissed a prince_.'

The thought brought a smile to Fionn's face before he realized he wasn't making the situation any better. Fionn needed to make this right. And soon. But at the same time, he knew that if Hunter said that he wanted Fionn, Fionn wouldn't have the will to resist.

How was he supposed to do this?

* * *

"What?" Selina and Finn exclaimed together.

The blonde looked to be only seconds away from hyperventilating, her face going red and starting to tinge into purple, while Finnegan froze entirely, his breathing almost coming to a complete halt entirely.

Finn's father was not a man to be messed with, but today he had come bearing the message that Finn and Selina were supposed to get married. Within the next couple weeks.

"You've been promised to each other for years now, and you are more than old enough to be married."

Marriage. A concept he never really considered, and even when he did, it had seemed like something in a far off future. He hadn't really focused on the gender or race of his partner, and in that way his daydreams were rather nonspecific, but he had a few select images that came to mind when he thought about being married. He wanted a small place, private and homey, one he could truly call their own and be comfortable in. He wanted to be able to play his music freely and he wanted to smile often, to be as happy as possible. Finn had wanted someone who was kind before they were righteous, questioning before they were unmoveable; he had experienced enough absolutes from his guardians, and had heard about enough tyrants rising and falling. He wanted someone to shed meaning on life when it was vivid and when it was unremarkable, and someone to stand with him in the blackness when it was too dark to make out light. Finn wanted to be older, wiser, braver, and undeniably, hopelessly in love. And when he knew, and when he could share every exceptional day and embarrassing secret and bland cup of coffee and thought in his mind with that person, the one he was so in love with he could barely breathe, that would be it. That would be  _married_ , because isn't it supposed to be another type of magic, another binding oath? Power like that should be shared only with  _the one_ , the one you were absolutely sure about. And Finn was simply not  _there_  yet.

"I'm 18," he protested loudly.

Eighteen was…it was young, even to regular humans. He hadn't really been on dates, he didn't know how to properly work a blender, and he could scarcely play a guitar without getting found out. Hell, he was barely old enough to have stubble; how on earth could he take care of a wife and children  _now?_

"Exactly. You're an adult now, Finnegan, and you have been for a while," the man continued, and Finnegan could scarcely believe they were related. An adult? He was  _just_  university age. "I have allowed you leniency for the past few years, but it's time for you to start taking things seriously."

"But…"

What argument was there to be had against  _that?_  His father was so convinced that Finn was ready for a metaphorical 'next step', but this could not be it. But he couldn't exactly just say 'no, try again in seven years' to someone like this, someone who didn't care about anything but work and lived in their own little world. His father had married young himself; he simply wouldn't understand. What to do, what to-

"But we wanted to be parabatai!" Selina blurted.

 _Bless her_ , Finn thought to himself, exhaling with what could only be described as pure relief. Being parabatai with Selina sounded like the perfect plan in Finn's mind. Selina was his friend and he loved her dearly, but never in a romantic way. Besides, he'd always wanted a parabatai - he had just been too afraid to take that step with anyone because he was shy and afraid of how that would affect his dynamic with said person, being completely bonded and even reliant upon them. There would be no secrets, no barriers, an exchange of 'I'll have your back until the end of time'. He had no idea who he would be able to trust like that, but Selina certainly fit the bill.

Finn's father raised an eyebrow. "Finnegan turns nineteen within the month."

"We've been training ever since we decided on it years ago," Selina lied flawlessly. "We're prepared already and were planning on performing the ceremony once you had approved beforehand. Please, Mr. Scion? We're sorry for the short notice, but we wanted it to be a surprise and you were busy enough in Idris."

"I wanted to handle things on my own and prove that I was old enough to make and execute my own choices, which is why we kept it under wraps. This was something we had to do for ourselves," Finn said, having caught on. "Of course, I wanted to ask you first before we made the arrangements official."

His father considered it without giving away a single feature, face stoic and unyielding as ever, but Finn knew they had made a convincing argument. Besides, who was he to stand in the way of a parabatai pair? Finn and Selina had been friends since childhood, but not once had they ever expressed romantic attraction in one another. They were simply far too close as friends to ever be anything more. There were plenty of times that they'd pretended to be married or dating as a way to excuse their presence at functions and to mundanes, but it had never been anything more than a ruse. After all, when you've played with someone in diapers and heard them whining about their first period to you and your sister, all thoughts of romance fly out the window. Finn's dad hadn't been too invested in his children's life, as he was often busy with his own duties as a Shadowhunter, but he had seen more than enough to draw a similar conclusion. They had been diligently training together and going on missions for their entire lives. Perhaps they weren't so compatible as a couple, but as partners they would certainly work well.

"Very well. I will speak to the Council of the change of plans. You shall have your ceremony instead of the wedding."

Selina beamed. "Thank you, sir!"

She held her hand out and Finn gave her a high-five. Even if it was a hasty cover up, and certainly one that would have lasting repercussions for the rest of his life, he honestly couldn't think of a better person to be bound to. Silena would defend him with her life and vice versa.

"I shall go inform them now. Perhaps our young Silena wasn't the best idea for a bride," he admitted, warming to the idea. "But you  _will_  marry, Finnegan. The Clave needs new blood."

"Yes, sir." What else was there to say?

"But…perhaps I should allow that decision to be yours. You have changed and grown into a responsible young man. I can't do everything for you forever. At the very least you have gotten over your ridiculous music fetish."

Finn's jaw tightened, but he managed a smile and kept his face straight. "Of course. I was just a kid back then, dad."

"Finally you see how ridiculous you were being," his father laughed, as though this was a private joke and not the death of a passion. "Distracting yourself from your truly useful studies."

"Yes. I don't know what was going through my head," the green eyed boy managed, trying to keep from grinding down on his teeth. "Perhaps you spoiled me too much and I started thinking I could do whatever I wanted without consequence because you would always pick up the pieces. Shame on you."

His father chuckled again, actually looking as though he was enjoying a conversation with his son. "Perhaps I did. Even now, I'm trying to handle your affairs. Well, it seems we have both learned our lessons. I'll see you later when I have an exact date for the ceremony. Allow me to do this one last thing for you before you officially become an adult."

"Thank you, father," Finn said.

Maybe he should have made more of an effort to appear grateful, but he settled for avoiding a scowl. That took nearly all the self control he could muster. As his dad left the room, presumably going off to inform someone else of this shift in plans or to find his wife, Finn didn't move from his spot, clenching his fists at his sides. He was shaking furiously.

"Finn…?" Selina asked with concern written all over her features, laying a careful hand on his shoulder.

"He laughed. Only when I lie can I ever please him." He didn't want to cry in frustration. He didn't want to burden her with that. So instead of throwing a fit, instead of falling apart, he scoffed. "And why do I have to get married? I should be allowed to marry when I want and to whom I want."

"We don't…" she began, looking up at the ceiling. "If it's the only way out, we don't  _have_  to be parabatai if you don't want to…"

"Of course I want to, Seels. It may have been an act for my dad - and I don't think we can pull out now unless we want major trouble - but seriously, it makes sense," he sighed, shaking his head. Maybe if he rattled around his brain, the anger would just fall away. "The only person that could possibly be a better match for you is Mer, but let's consider today me calling dibs." The auburn-haired boy tried for a small smile. "Besides, no way am I kissing  _you_."

She shoved him, resolving to play along. "Says the one with putrid breath. Excuse you, I am a  _delight_." God, he loved her for doing that. She knew him too well.

"Hey, I brush my teeth every morning and night without fail. And I drink nothing but water. This voice doesn't just come out of nowhere."

"You liar. I saw you drinking soda just yesterday!"

"Well can you blame me for wanting to eat something other than the cafeteria food?! How else am I supposed to get that taste out of my mouth - and my nose?!"

They laughed together, and Finn knew that he'd made the right choice. Selina was going to be a perfect parabatai. Nothing else, of course, but that was more than alright. He was glad she was with him at all.

"Well then," she said, silvery eyes warm. "Time to go study up on parabatai stuff. We've got years of education to make up for in just a few weeks."

Finn groaned. "Not studying! Is it too late to back out now?!"

She laughed and dragged him off to the library, teasing him the entire way. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Li would definitely find a way to pester him for all of eternity.

* * *

_Fionn was tired. Finally he had gotten the opportunity to get away from the rest of the Hunt, but they had to be in a mundane city. They were just at the outskirts of the main part of the city, the mundane civilization far off and the smell of the sea distant and faint but still very clear to the nose of a faerie._

_Fionn took Zoltan to the city out of boredom. Gwyn had no objections - he trusted Fionn more than most - and besides, the Hunt was having a peaceful day after a night at a revel, a party hosted by a warlock in the city that some local nixies had invited them to. Fionn still couldn't claim to understand each of the revels that they were allowed to go to and those they weren't, but he trusted Gwyn's judgement more than his own._

_Tonight, he went to the city, worried about the war on the horizon thanks to the rogue Shadowhunter, Valentine and his son. In reality, perhaps wars had already begun - perhaps they had been occurring ever since Valentine first rebelled many years ago and had never stopped. It was quite confusing when it came to Shadowhunters. Mark Blackthorn's presence in the Hunt was the result of one attack on them by the boy with demon blood, or so he had been informed._

_Fionn rode Zoltan through the streets in the form of a motorcycle in order to blend in with the mundanes, but Zoltan quickly grew tired of it and reverted back to normal. And so, Fionn found himself riding through alleyways at a light trot. They were on a leisurely stroll, but Fionn knew the dangers that came from mundanes seeing him riding on a horse. It was likely that they might not care much, as there were eccentric styles acceptd and odd events happening occasionally, but it was better to avoid being seen as much as possible. Zoltan didn't like it - he was an exhibitionist and loved to show off not only how he_ looked _, but how he could kill you with just a little click of his hoof. One of the main reasons Zoltan was so hard to tame was because he enjoyed killing challengers and hated pacifists with weak hearts. Suffice to say, Fionn wanted to avoid his horse killing random people for, as his warlock friend would say, 'funsies.'_

_He was planning on heading back at sunset, however he encountered a brown-haired boy hiding in the alleys, looking grim. Fionn sensed that he was a Shadowhunter, but Fionn couldn't fathom what he was doing, sulking in this alley. He could be waiting for his allies and/or partners, but Fionn sensed that he was unhappy and didn't want to be found simply by looking at him._

_"_ _What are you doing here?"_

_The boy jumped to his feet with Nephilim reflexes, reaching for a weapon but then realizing he was unarmed._

_"_ _Who are you?" He demanded, blinking away tears from his deep blue eyes._

_"_ _A man who wishes to know what you are doing alone, unarmed, and appearing to be dejected as you are."_

_"_ _I'm fine. Leave me alone."_

_"_ _Are you here on some official business?"_

_"_ _Yes, so go away."_

_Fionn rolled his eyes. "Liar. You are here because you've nowhere to go. You have run from something, but you have failed to plan out your escape."_

_The boy flinched. "H-How did you-?"_

_"_ _Does my heritage not strike you as discernible?"_

_"_ _Y-Yeah, well…I didn't know faeries were mind-readers."_

_Fionn laughed. "I am not a reader of the mind. There are those far more suited to the task than I. It is merely practice that aids me so in establishing your persona. The anima is not so easily discovered - the animus, perhaps, but not the anima - however I can make my guesses."_

_"_ _I don't even know what you're talking about. Look, just leave me alone. I'm fine. I don't need you telling me anything about me or how I feel."_

_The Shadowhunter boy stomped off, heading inside of a building. Fionn wanted to walk away and leave the teenager to his rage, but something told him that wasn't a good idea. He wasn't a faerie that could sense emotions, but he knew that the anger burning within that Shadowhunter was dangerously strong - and Fionn_ did _know something about burning._

_He dismounted his steed and walked inside the building, looking around and finding a door closing across the room. He made his way over, ignoring the looks that he was getting from mundanes, and opened the door to find it was a stairwell. He walked inside, but heard a woman protesting, "Sir, you can't go in there!" and slammed the door shut, putting his hand to the lock and melting it with his fire powers. Just for good measure, he welded the entire side of the door completely closed as he heard pounding with threats of security, and Fionn had no idea how security in the comforting sense was supposed to pose a threat._

_He walked up the stairs, figuring that the Shadowhunter must've made himself invisible and soundless, but Fionn had been so occupied by blocking the exit behind him that he noticed the door at the top already creaking open just as he began his ascent. Fionn got a bad feeling in his stomach as he started sprinting up the steps three at a time. When he busted past the door, he saw the Shadowhunter stepping up to the ledge and then falling._

_"_ _Zoltan!"_

_He whistled as he ran to the edge, looking down as his horse appeared in a blur of black, silver, and dark red. He blasted past, catching the Shadowhunter in his fall and then circling back up to the rooftop. The boy fell off the horse the moment that Zoltan came to a sudden stop, his momentum sending him flying onto the hard cement of the roof in shock. He would be scraped and bruised, but it was much better than the alternative._

_Fionn kneeled down and pulled the teenager so that he was sitting up. "Are you uninjured?"_

_The Shadowhunter was breathing hard, in shock. "Y-You…how did you…?"_

_"_ _My horse saved you, he is magic. Nevermind that, why would you attempt to do something so rash?"_

_The boy stared for a few moments without speaking, before his eyes started to water and he began crying. Fionn froze in surprise. He had grown up in a land where crying was a foreign concept, and though he understood that it meant great sadness, he had no idea what to do. For other Fair Folk, he would tell them to stop crying that instant, to not show such weakness for fear of the taunting and shame that would be brought upon them - or he would be the one shaming them in the first place. But his warlock friend had been teaching him about the outside world, how people were more sensitive here, and how respecting someone meant assisting them through their weaknesses by comforting them, not telling them to be strong and get over it._

_But how the hell was he supposed to comfort someone?!_

_It got even more awkward when the boy fell against Fionn and gripped him tightly, sobbing. "I'm tired of this, I can't take it anymore!"_

_Fionn nervously wrapped his arm around the Shadowhunter, looking at his horse in panic. Zoltan gave a snort and bobbed his head expectantly, as though he was expecting Fionn to know what to do. He grumbled at his steed and carefully pried the Shadowhunter off of him._

_He brushed the tears away, resisting the instinct to scold the boy for looking so pathetic. "I'm going to take you to my warlock friend. He'll know how to help you."_

_The teenager had no energy left in him to resist, and so Fionn picked the boy up (despite the fact that the Shadowhunter was slightly heavier than him, but Fionn was trained to handle twice his weight) and walked over to the edge of the building. He jumped off, Zoltan dashing around and circling to catch them underneath. The boy screamed and gripped Fionn tightly, the two of them landed on the horse. Zoltan took off, teleporting them to Lock's place. It only took a moment for them to arrive, and Fionn slid off his horse with the Shadowhunter still in his arms with practiced skill._

_"_ _Can you stand?" Fionn asked._

_It took a long moment for the teenager's heart rate to calm and his breathing to even out. He steeled himself before being dropped to his feet and managing to stay upright._

_"_ _W-What did you…? How did…? Where are we?"_

_"_ _A friend's residence. He will handle your situation far better than I."_

_"_ _I-I…I don't want-"_

_"_ _I care not for your needs at present," Fionn snapped. "You are in no stable condition to be allowed to wander free. Lock shall know what to do with you. Now come."_

_Fionn, losing his patience with this boy and knowing that Lock was near enough to solve the issue, dragged the Shadowhunter by his wrist. The teenager didn't seem to have the energy to resist and suspect if this could be a trap of some kind while he was laid low, and Fionn was at least happy to know that he wouldn't be let down._

_Fionn banged on the door to Lock's apartment, not knowing how important this Shadowhunter would become in his life not long after_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title chapter is from "Carry You" by Ruelle ft. Fleurie


	7. This Night Ain't For the Faint of Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'ma be nice to y'all (if you're out there) and give you this chapter because of my broken promise. Every chapter that comes out unedited will most likely come out every other Sunday unless people are just so into it that they review saying they don't give a crap about editing (it's not like this story has that kind of numbers yet, but a person can dream, can't they?).
> 
> School is going to start, like, in a few days now, and I know for a fact that Amalspach is going to be even more busy than during summer when we started this. There's no rush for editing, but I've literally finished this entire story and am thinking about a sequel because I've still got so much I wanna do (and if anyone's read any of my content, you know that I kinda just keep going, and going, and going, and - hey look, a bird!)
> 
> (By the way, Amalspach, I've got a second doc with this chapter included so that the editing one doesn't get too crowded. I'll be sharing that once we've finish the first).
> 
> I should stop being stubborn and just tell you the names of the songs the chapter names are from. I'll go back for the other chapters. This one is from 'Wicked Ones' by Dorothy.
> 
> So yeah. Enjoy, review if you like it (criticism hurts, but constructive criticism is welcome) and here's a smiley face.
> 
> :)

Hunter thought he'd be prepared.

He was wrong.

He saw Fae standing patiently, just barely in the shadows of his tunnel, and stared. He looked even better than usual, or maybe Hunter was now just paying more attention. He soaked in the details of his face - his angular jaw and sharp faerie features, his maroon-colored hair sweeping down to his shoulders, pushed behind his elf ears, and his frame not muscular but leaving no doubt that he could kick your ass without blinking. His outfit was worn and battered, but it only added to his look.

Fae noticed his arrival and turned to face him, eager yet hesitant to speak. Every motion, however small, was filled with faerie grace. Hunter had to force himself to breathe - then actually walk over, or else Fae might think he was afraid of him or trying to avoid the elephant in the room.

"Hello," Fae greeted with a nod, his voice smooth yet firm.

"Hey," Hunter managed.

"I…hoped to address the…incident that occurred during our previous encounter."

Hunter tried not to let his heart sink. Fae was trying to be civil, and for him, that could mean he was either attempting to ask Hunter to forget about what happened, or to ask if it was okay. Fae had the pride of a hunter - of the Wild Hunt, not Shadowhunter - and he didn't seem to be very experienced talking about emotions. Either way, this would be awkward.

"Yes, that's…probably a good idea," Hunter said.

"Allow me to apologize."

Hunter swallowed. "For what?"

"You know very well what. I…I was not…I lost my control. It will not happen again."

"Oh," Was all Hunter could say.

"If it was something you did not desire, I will regret it deeply."

Hunter looked up at Fae, but he was looking down in shame. "A-And…what if…what happens now?"

Fae took a deep breath. "I ask for your forgiveness and hope for reconciliation."

Hunter pursed his lips, trying to will himself to speak the words he wanted to. "What if I…what if I  _did_ …desire it?"

Fae's eyes snapped up and Hunter instantly felt his mind tell him to hide. He never liked it when people looked at him when he played his instrument and/or sang, but now, Fae's gaze was infinitely more terrifying.

"You…truly?"

Hunter nodded, clearing his throat and avoiding Fae's eyes at all costs. "It…it was nice. I-If it was something you regret, I-I won't ask you to…"

Hunter was saved the trouble of finishing as Fae's mouth was suddenly on his and he was being shoved back against the tunnel wall. He suddenly remembered just how intense their last time had been and fell into the kiss with barely a second thought. The faerie sent electricity surging through his veins and took his breath away, having him panting within seconds. His arms wrapped around Fae as though to pull him closer than he already was, just wanting to feel the faerie in every way possible.

"I do not regret it," Fae declared. "I am sorry, but I shall not regret this either."

Fae kissed him deeply as though this was the only time he ever would again. Hunter had no protests, though, and hearing his statement only intensified things. He let Fae press him against the cool concrete behind him, contrasting the fire that was Fae's body at his front. He shivered not from the cold, but the heat. Hunter wasn't sure how long it lasted, and he didn't really care. At that moment, there were no nagging issues telling him to stop, there were no fears haunting him and thinking of future consequences. When he was kissing Fae, he was free. After a life of hiding, running, pushing away who he was, what insane, stupid part of him wouldn't want such a thing?

When Fae pulled back just slightly, Hunter was too breathless to protest, feeling Fae's breath as he spoke. "Hunter…are you sure?"

Fae's face aligned with his and he saw a lost gaze of uncertainty and reluctance. He was thinking of consequences, of going further than Hunter was willing, of taking advantage of Hunter when he didn't really know what he wanted. Worse, he believed that Hunter didn't want any of this at all and was simply lost in the moment.

"Stop over-thinking things, Fae."

He chuckled. "I could say the same thing to you. But it is my job to over-think, as you say. I must always consider my actions, and control my urges. With you, I have faltered. This does not often happen. I am ashamed and give my apologies, but I will not regret my actions."

"Oh, stop being dense and just kiss me again!"

Hunter didn't give him the chance to respond because he was already pulling Fae's lips to his, feeling the fire surge through him again and then double as Fae melted into it as well. He ran his hands along Fae's chest, sliding them up and feeling the faerie shudder beneath him. Hunter didn't know what he was doing, but he knew that he was breaking Fae out of his shell, and it seemed to be working as Far gave in and stopped holding himself back.

Hunter moved one hand to his soft hair, allowing Fae to explore his mouth thoroughly, ravaging Hunter with long strokes of his tongue. Fae's hands slid gently down Hunter's body with unhurried intensity that taunted Hunter, keeping him barely satisfied and needing more. Fae reacted to him by keeping just out of Hunter's threshold of desire - he was in control. Hunter felt himself slowly coming undone, pleasure swirling through him and yet still leaving him wanting.

Hunter realized the monster he'd just unleashed. Fae was far from inexperienced, though it would've been impossible to tell from his stoic demeanor that made love seem like a foreign concept to him. Now Hunter was the reluctant one - how could he, the guy who's afraid of everything, compare to Fae in any way?

Fae noticed Hunter's sudden reluctance and pulled back, but still kept their foreheads together, as though he was afraid the moment he left he'd never return again. "Have I done wrong?"

"No!" Hunter said frantically. "No, it's not that. I-It's just me. I've…I've never…you know…kissed anyone before…or anything like this, really…"

Hunter felt as Fae relaxed. "I most likely would not have guessed on my own. You were quite convincing, for improvisation."

Hunter remembered he was speaking with a faerie, someone who couldn't lie as well as had more experience than him, and had to swallow a protest.

"I…you're kinda…you're good too…"

Fae broke into laughter. "You are quite easy to become flustered. I find it very adorable."

Hunter's face burned and he struggled for words. "I-I don't…I'm not-"

"Must you always deny a compliment?" Fae ran his fingers through Hunter's hair, brushing it behind his ear. "You, my Hunter, are perfect, but you are unable to accept it. This goes beyond being humble, but you are kind to try."

"I-I'm not brave or strong or smart like you, though."

"What is it, love, that makes you feel so?"

"You're in the Wild Hunt. You have to survive everyday, risk everything just to come here. Yet I complain about being afraid of my music's discovery. I have a home, I have a loving sister, I have friends, I'm a respected Shadowhunter that's living a nice life, and yet I run away from my problems and give it all up - things you could probably only dream of having."

"Oh, my Hunter." Fae ran his hand gently across Hunter's jaw. Hunter noticed his hands had no calluses, despite his lifestyle, and shivered at the soft touch. "I have enough, I wouldn't ask for your life as you would not want mine. Coming to us is not running away, it is an act of bravery, a symbol of you taking your life into your own hands and making your own choices. My mother once told me I cannot be dragged through life, I must march forward of my own accord, no one else's. We may not realize when we are being dragged, but I know now, with certainty, that you are marching when you come to us. When you come to  _me_. You are stronger than you believe, and if I must, I will spend the rest of my life trying to convince you."

Hunter frowned. "I'm sorry for burdening you like that. I know it gets annoying, but-"

"You are humble. It is annoying, yes, but it makes you who you are. You are the heart of the people in your life, a unique gift to the world that should stand as an example of how more should act. It also provides excuse for your flustered state when the others ask. I cannot lie, however I can withhold information."

Hunter chuckled. "Raziel knows how many times Lock will barge in unannounced. Better to be prepared. So…what now?"

Fae sighed. "That depends. It is in our best interest to cease this relationship of love before it becomes our downfall."

"You love me?"

"Yes. I presume so. I would not have kissed you if I did not feel a modicum of love towards your being. It was not my intent, it took me time to understand what I felt meant in the first place, however I know now. You have become a part of my heart, whether you intended to or not."

"Well…I mean, I was the one that kissed you the first time. It could've been a heat-of-the-moment thing, so…"

"I thought the exact same thing of you. I wished to stop this relationship before we made mistakes we would regret. You are inexperienced - you may think this is love when it is merely your first encounter with such feelings."

"Maybe that's true," Hunter admitted. "But there's only one way to find out. Can we…can we try this? A relationship between us? If it doesn't last, we will know it wasn't meant to be. If it does…then we'll have our answer to this conundrum, won't we?"

Fae gave a gentle smile. "I suppose we will."

"So…how about a date?"

"A date of what kind?"

"One of the…in-love type?"

"I know not of human entertainment or courtship methods."

Hunter laughed. "We don't have to do mundane things. The point of a date - uh, a romantic date, I mean, not just a special occasion in general - is to do things that both parties involved will enjoy. We can do something we know that we'll both be happy doing in our situation. Once we've become more comfortable with each other, we can try things that the other knows they like and that the other is unfamiliar with. Doing new things together creates bonding experiences - or so I've been told."

"Well, what I would enjoy is hearing more of your melodies. Would that be satisfactory for you, or would that be out of your comfort zone for this early stage?"

Hunter hesitated for a moment, but smiled. "I would love to. You're helping me with my stagefright. I…for you, I'd be willing to try and get better. It'll also provide an excuse for us to be hanging out together, right?"

Fae nodded. "Then let us engage in a first…date, shall we?"

Hunter nodded. "Let's."

* * *

Fae was probably smiling too much.

He had slain many monsters in his attempt at forgetting Hunter even before he had gone to try and apologize for his actions, but now he was no longer angry or nervous, he was ecstatic. He was far too pleased at his new relationship, his judgement was most likely impaired, and if anyone in the Hunt, especially his brother, saw him that way, he would be very suspicious.

That is why he now found himself electrocuted by his horse.

"Zolt-t-tan! I told y-y-you to  _snap_  me b-b-back to my senses, n-n-not  _zap_  me!"

His horse gave a mental shrug, as though to give a sarcastic, ' _Whoops, translation error._ ' Fionn knew from their connection that his steed had understood perfectly what he had wanted, and he knew a moment too late what pleasure his horse took from the opportunity to use its magic against him even in a fun way and not a deadly one. He and Zoltan had a passive-aggressive relationship, especially back when Fionn had first tamed the horse, but at this point, they had become good friends. But as Fionn had learned, friends tend to think it's okay to play jokes on him and embarrass him because they knew that he would be forgiving. Friends could be very tedious.

"You're l-l-lucky I love you," Fionn muttered. "Let us depart."

Well, at least his horse had successfully gotten him into a bad mood. He rode back to the Hunt and went through his rounds. He saw Kieran and Mark returning from their assignment not long after, this time upon Mark's steed with Kieran behind him. The two did mildly well in hiding their relationship - if they even had a relationship yet. They went about their duties as comrades, but Fionn noticed small details that no one else would look for if they didn't know what they were seeing between them. There were small wistful glances, excuses to speak to each other, smile at each other, even just brush each other in small ways. Fionn felt his own feelings flaring again. This time, however, he knew that it was the need to speak to someone of his luck with his own Shadowhunter, particularly his brother. He realized that he and Hunter had shared some of the same traits with each other - staring just a few moments too long, looking for small excuses to speak to each other, many to sit next to each other, and even touch in small ways. Perhaps he was doing this right with Hunter.

He noticed that Mark had an elf-bolt strung as a necklace at his neck. Those were extremely valuable, and there was little chance that Mark acquired one on his own. He had consulted Kieran, and his brother had admitted to being the source of Mark's new accessory as a present.

Fionn felt the urge to do the same thing, give one to Hunter. Would that be unoriginal if he got the idea from his brother? At the same time, an elf-bolt  _was_  a proper way to show his affections. He wanted something special, and an elf-bolt felt perfect. He could imagine Hunter's flustered state when he realized Fionn had gotten him something so precious. Now that the thought had entered his mind, his excitement grew and he knew what he wanted to do.

It would take some time, but for Hunter, it would be worth it.

* * *

Hunter fell face-first into his pillow.

He was in deep shit now, wasn't he?

But he didn't really want to care.

Fae was very gentle when it came to pushing Hunter's abilities, and Hunter was grateful. Though Fae had warned him he would be harder on him when the others were present, Hunter didn't mind. The fact that Fae cared enough to be kind and worry over Hunter's opinion at all was more than enough to have Hunter ready to collapse from embarrassment. Or maybe it was just flattery. Hunter had grown up all his life begging for approval, and though his sister and Selina tried their best, he could never shake the feeling that they stuck with him out of obligation. With Fae, however, the faerie had finally broken Hunter's stubborn self doubt and got him to actually accept compliments.

The days had gone by in a blur. Finn had sat through lectures at the Shadowhunter Academy, and though he was interested in it, he wasn't sure if it was for him. He had to go back to the Institute during most of his evenings to go on missions, so he knew that accepting a place as a student at the Academy would result in practically no time to go to the meeting grounds.

Even if the others were present, he was always looking forward to seeing Fae. It was like each time they parted, he started to forget his face, his voice, his personality - he started to worry if that was the last time he'd ever see Fae again. Finn started realizing how fragile their relationship really was. He started thinking about Faerie, how every day Fae must be fighting for his life. Gwyn believed that the Hunt needed to learn to survive on the edge of death, and so he pushed them to their limits. They hunted for their food and were seldom allowed to share, so those who couldn't hunt couldn't eat. It was only when they were on the verge of passing out were they allowed to search for water. Hunter had started noticing small scars and stitches that appeared on Fae, the occasional stiffness from pain, but Fae had assured him that faeries healed faster than humans - like they had their own built in Iratze. Hunter wanted to believe that, but the healing process was much slower than an Iratze, even if it was faster than a human.

Lock had known Fae longer than any of the others, and when Hunter had asked, Lock had informed him that he shouldn't argue with Fae.

"Let the faerie be a faerie," Lock had advised. "If you worry about him, he resists even more. Think about it. In Fae's world, offering help is saying that he's too weak to handle himself on his own. I've tried healing his wounds before, but he has physically fought me to keep his scars. Ever since I've met him, he's been fighting for respect and approval from a world that refused to acknowledge his strength. It's taken him years to build up the reputation he has now, so questioning his methods will only enrage him."

"How could anyone refuse to see Fae's level of dedication to being a faerie?" Hunter had wondered.

"There are stubborn goats out there, higher powers than him who like to see the great and powerful fall or just don't want to admit one's successes. I'd think a Shadowhunter would understand."

Hunter sighed. "More than you know."

Lock straightened in realization. "Oh, I'm sorry…I forgot about…"

"It's okay, Lock. I'm dealing with it. You've done nothing but help me since then." He gave a weak encouraging smile. "I'm not as fragile as I was before."

Lock smirked. "Well, not gonna stop us from coddling you like our little boy. Like it or not, you're the baby of our group."

"Am not!"

"Well, let's see. I'm 300, Pyre's around 100, Wolf's in his late 20's, early 30's, if I had to guess, and Fae…well, I'm not sure if he wants me to disclose his age. Let's just say that I've known him for a while now."

Hunter felt a small pang of dread, realizing that faeries could live to be hundreds of years old before they actually started aging beyond their twenties. Hunter didn't really know how it worked specifically, but he knew that faeries rarely ever died of old age. Maybe they could control how old they looked. Hunter could be dating a guy that was anywhere between 20 and in his maybe late 200's, depending on when Fae met Lock. Sure, it wasn't like people didn't date warlocks or vampires, but those relationships were…shaky. Hunter didn't want to think about Fae outliving him, but then again, both of their lives were constantly at risk.

And Lock could always be playing with him. It was hard to tell when he was being serious or not. Unlike Fae, who gave candid answers, Lock spoke in a way that implied his statements could be  _both_  true and sarcastic, depending on how you interpreted it. Of course, Fae managed to dance around topics as well, being a faerie, but he was more subtle about it. Sometimes Fae managed to change the conversation topic so smoothly that Hunter forgot what he had been trying to talk about and when Fae had directed the subject away. Usually it happened when Fae started talking about his past struggles, so Hunter couldn't really bring himself to demand answers or be angry about it.

But to be more cryptic than a faerie was saying something about Lock, for sure. Hunter suspected it was because Lock had faced his fair share of people that he misinterpreted, so when he didn't know how someone would react to a topic, he made it sound like he could swing either way. Once he got a confirmation on someone's point of view, he could easily play it off like he had been on their side the whole time. With his business as a High Warlock, it was understandable - even if Hunter didn't know where he was the High Warlock of.

"Considering I can still call you a teenager and you were the one that brought us all together, you are the baby of the group and nothing you can say can change that," Lock smirked.

"Shut up."

Lock had burst out into laughter, getting the others' attention and making Hunter shove him to avoid his embarrassment.

But overall, things had been great. Fae had played off their meetings and weaved his way around a conversation so well that Hunter could almost convince himself that Fae had completely forgotten their relationship existed in the first place. Fae seemed to even get a kick out of utilizing his skills and showing off to Hunter. Ugh, now there was  _no_  chance he was gonna get over this whole 'I'm in love with the one guy that's a faerie' problem. He had agreed to date Fae, and he didn't regret it at all. He wanted to regret it, he wanted to regret all of his life choices, but he couldn't. Because Fae was perfect, and funny, and kind, and perfect, and not bad looking, and smart, and perfect, and a great listener (and kisser), and perfect.

"Uh, are you okay, Finn?"

"Nope," he said into his muffled pillow. "I'm in deep shit now."

"Speak without the pillow please."

He turned his head to see Merida standing at his bedside. "Nevermind."

"Did something bad happen with your DW friends?"

"No. Nothing like that. I'm just an idiot."

"Yeah, well we all knew that already, it's nothing new."

"Shut up."

"Well, come on. We've got a late-night mission and some butt-kicking to do!"

Finn simply grumbled and put his face into the pillow again. "What is it this time?"

"We've investigating some murders. Could be a DW, could be a mundane, could be a Shadowhunter. Who knows? Pictures from victims suggest a mundane, but the vics have been Downworlders and SHs alike."

"Mundane with the sight?"

"Maybe. Only one way to find out. Seels gets to come too, but the three of us have to go to the general area of the murders and find out who it is."

"We get to try and get murdered. Joy."

"Life of a Shadowhunter. Get ready, meet up in 15."

Finn grumbled, dragging himself out of bed to get dressed and arm himself. Well, a nice mission would get his mind off things. He grabbed his Seraph blade and bow and quiver, cloaking the weapons and then going to the briefing between the three of them.

"Check it out," Selina said, passing Finn some of the folders with pictures. "All Shadowhunters had their runes cut off."

"Like, with their  _flesh?_ " Finn exclaimed.

"Yup. Vampires had their fangs removed, werewolves had any traits that were showing at the time removed, and if none were showing they had their hearts carved out - probably a reference to the classic myth that werewolves eat hearts. Warlocks had their Warlock Marks removed."

"What about if their marks were their skin color?"

"Like I said, Warlock Marks were removed."

"Blech," Merida summarized.

Finn swallowed. "Seelies?"

"Depending on the type. The basic pattern is anything that made them inhuman in appearance. Ears, jaw, sometimes just completely mutilated all over."

"This sounds like a great mission to send three teenagers on," Finn muttered, pulling up his shirt to draw a Block rune.

"Obviously," Merida agreed, putting an Agility rune onto her chest just below her clavicle before pulling her shirt up to cover it. "No runes in visible places. 'Cept Seels. She gets to be the bait."

"See, this is why we're friends," Selina quipped, though Finn was unsure if she was being sarcastic or not.

She put an Endurance rune on her arm in plain sight, and had Finn put her Block rune onto her neck so there was no way that it could be missed. She added an Awareness rune too on her right arm with Heightened Speed too.

"You think Persuade will work?" Merida asked.

"Seems like this person isn't open to persuasion," Finn admitted. "Just based on the victims, I'd guess a mundane jealous or afraid of the Shadow World."

"These are skilled operations," Selina said. "Whoever this is, they can't be someone new to surgery - or someone who just knows how to remove the Downworld anatomy and slice meat for the runes."

Finn shuddered. "This is  _so_  sick."

"But since it's most likely a mundane, we're expected to handle it," Merida said. "So, this is where most of the murders have taken place." She pointed to a map that had been brought up on the monitor. "Seels wanders 'round with Finn acting like a mundane date. I be the eagle-eye watching you guys as the guardian for when hell breaks loose and we go from there."

"Love this plan," Selina declared, and she didn't seem to be kidding. "So, where you taking me on our date, boyfriend?"

Finn rolled his eyes. "The movies. We can sit in the dark doing nothing but waiting for the plot to unfold for a straight two hours."

"But  _Finn!_  You know I hate movies for that exact reason! I can't sit still for two whole hours! You are a lousy boyfriend!"

"And you are a needy girlfriend, so we're perfect for each other."

"You guys go to this party here," Merida said, pointing to a building. "The High Warlock of San Francisco holds raves here with no rules on the guests. Mundanes who go think the Downworlders are just dressing up and magic is a part of the special effects, and Shadowhunters and Downworlders have to get along or their instantly kicked out. It seems like all the victims were going to this place before their…untimely demise."

"So we look for…what?" Finn asked.

"You guys do what you can to stick out," Merida advised. "The murderer hates the Shadow World, so if you guys act like arrogant jerks, that'll be sure to get their rage burning."

"No problem," Selina smiled. "I've got the perfect plan."

"I have a feeling this isn't going to go well for me, is it?" Finn muttered.

"Nope. Let's go."

- _ **TFOT**_ -

"How are we supposed to do  _anything_  in this crowd?!" Finn shouted.

"Follow my lead!" Selina ordered, and Finn wasn't sure if she had heard him or not.

Selina dragged him around, mingling with people effortlessly. The crowds were thick with dancing people of all species, and Finn realized it might've been a good idea to put on a Dance/Grace rune. He quickly put the Choreo rune onto his shoulder as Selina pulled him into the dancing crowd. She pulled him into a dance and he felt his rune tingle as it helped him try and keep up with her. She was being purposefully extravagant to draw attention, sure, but Finn was not a dancer at all.

Selina started moving towards the band that was playing before hopping on stage and taking the mic to start singing the song they were playing beside the actual lead singer. Finn was suddenly mortified as he realized that she was acting drunk. Selina definitely drew attention, and it didn't seem like this was an odd event to anyone. The band players didn't look twice, and the lead singer seemed only encouraged by her.

Selina did gather up a crowd, though, coming back to Finn bragging about the experience. She was everything an entitled Shadowhunter jerk would be. After the longest night Finn had ever experienced trying to mingle with party-goers, Selina dragged him out in a loud way, causing him to feel even  _more_ embarrassed, but he was sure they were targets now.

"Have a good time, love?" Selina asked.

"Yeah. This 'Shadow Word' is cool! Like fantasy characters in my books have all come to life!"

"Well there's more to time later, darling!"

"How much longer do we have to do this?" Finn hissed quietly.

"As long as it takes."

"Step away from the mundane, you fiend!"

Finn nearly jumped out of his skin, but turned with Selina to see a hooded woman. She looked nothing more than a woman going out on a nightly jog, or maybe just a mundane mugger, but it was definitely a female.

"Run, mundane. This monster will bring you only harm. I'll handle her."

"Selina?" Finn whispered.

"I'll handle this. Jump in only if you need to."

Finn turned and started running down the alley, rushing out of sight before climbing a building to look for Merida. He found her ducking down and watching the fight with her bow in one hand, her other hand at the quiver, and a knife sitting ready beside her at a moment's notice. Finn quietly joined her, before kneeling and drawing a couple knives and his sword ready to pounce at any moment. He had his Stealth and Soundless runes active, along with his Awareness to watch every moment of the encounter.

"You Shadowhunters, punishing us for being trapped in a situation that  _you_  caused," the hooded woman was saying. "All the Shadow World does for the world is cause pain and suffering! So I'll take you  _all_  down, rid the world of you accursed monsters - even you so-called angels!"

"What makes you think you can destroy the Shadow World all on your own?!" Selina demanded.

"Oh, I'm not alone. There are more than enough enemies that hate your Shadowhunter guts, and how many faeries do you think want revenge for the Cold Peace?"

She pulled down her hood and revealed that she was a faerie with her pointed ears, unnaturally silver hair flowing down her shoulders like silk, and her sharpened features that reminded Finn too much of Fae. Finn wanted to be sick, his gut twisting at the thought that this girl was the same species as Fae - killing Downworlders and Shadowhunters alike in such gruesome ways. He wondered if Fae knew such surgical procedures - how to remove a vampire's fangs, Warlock Marks of all kinds, a werewolf's traits, and to cut the runes right off of a Shadowhunter without so much as blinking. Then again, Fae was in the hunt - a place where he would most likely deal with such procedures on his kills like it was nothing…

Finn shook his head out of those thoughts, now realizing that Selina and the faerie were fighting. Finn instantly noticed that the faerie girl was fighting to kill with little caution. She didn't care about what happened to herself, but if Selina was the one to fall, that would be good enough for her. The faerie charged in with no hesitation, moving to strike Selina with a knife and taking no time to formulate an actual plan. Selina back out of the way to dodge, but her attacker gave no room for recovery, striking in a rage and out for blood. Selina had underestimated her opponent's drive, and now she was only avoiding attacks because of her Nephilim speed. She pulled out her dagger and called its name as the angel blade blazed to life. Selina had superior speed and strength, but this girl had the dangerous power of nothing to lose. Her life meant nothing to her, self-preservation had been thrown out the window. If she won, she won, but if she didn't, her life didn't mean anything. There were still more out there to do the job.

Merida had her bow drawn and ready to fire, watching Selina cross blades with the faerie woman. Despite Selina's best attempts at putting some distance between her and her enemy, every time she jumped back, the faerie always sprinted to close the distance. Selina swiped her dagger, drawing her second and fending off the attacks.

Finn just barely caught the steps as they approached from behind at speed. He grabbed one of the daggers sitting at the ready and threw it behind them to strike the faerie in the shoulder. Merida exclaimed in surprise, while Finn drew his sword and muttered "Mael," before running up and stabbing the faerie man that had attempted to sneak up on them. He had been so quiet that even Finn's Awareness rune didn't help him because he had been focusing on the battle. It was only because the faerie had gotten eager and had sprinted up to them, allowing Finn to hear his footsteps, that Finn had managed to react in time.

He dug his weapon into the faerie's chest and twisted it before pulling out and stepping back, prepared for any more fight left in him. When the faerie collapsed back, bleeding out on the ground, Finn saw Selina had been distracted by the noise and had lost her daggers, now falling back with the faerie woman looming over her. Merida took aim and shot her straight through the neck. Selina kicked her opponent away as she tumbled to the ground, gasping and spitting up blood as she flailed to strike Selina one last time. Selina, understandably disgusted, kept her distance until the faerie stopped moving.

Finn carefully walked over to the faerie man that had been ready to ambush him and Merida, pushing the hood off his head. Finn instantly backed up, falling off his feet and holding his hand over his mouth. He knew he shouldn't have reacted so intensely, but he couldn't help it. For one sickening moment, the faerie had looked like Fae - blazing red hair coupled with the sharp faerie features, accompanied by blood spurting and streaming out of his mouth and nose. Finn had killed before, he wasn't new to death by any means, but now that he was dating a faerie, he became nauseous seeing this dead Fair Folk that just slightly resembled Fae. It hurt for him to realize that there were Fair Folk out there that were bitter and hateful of Nephilim, even the rest of the Downworld. Fae was the exception, not the other way around.

When Finn, Selina, and Merida returned, having the mess cleaned up, Finn wrote up his report, trying to swallow the disgust surging through him the entire time. He had a bad feeling that refused to go away. What would happen if something went wrong between Finn and Fae? Would he go on such a rampage if Hunter broke his heart or even died because of someone finding out about the two of them? Finn could just imagine the havoc that Fae would wreak for Finn's sake. Finn was unsure if protecting his brother would mean much in that scenario. If anything, Fae would finally snap and take drastic measure to keep his brother safe - damn the rules, damn the consequences.

Finn sighed, trying to shake the thoughts from his mind, but the pain refused to go away. His head hurt from the dark thoughts running through them. He grabbed his guitar and went to the meeting grounds, playing until he fell asleep. He still couldn't shake his bad feeling.


	8. Why Don't You Show Me Round?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is this so long? I just wanted a cute little date and couldn't stop myself. For anyone who doesn't know, that's basically the definition of all my writing. I should add that to my profile.
> 
> Chapter title is from Marian Hill's 'I Want You.'

Fionn did  _not_  like cities.

Mundanes were everywhere, talking, driving their odd machines, honking horns from locations Fionn couldn't discern because the buildings acted as echo chambers and obstacles that blocked a good deal of his line of sight. The metropolis had countless locations, many of which Fionn didn't have the time to fully inspect. He didn't have any idea of the laws mundanes had on certain places, but when he walked in, some informed him that he wasn't allowed inside without identification. Fionn stated his name and position in the Hunt and even his princely status, but it seemed that wasn't satisfactory.

How was he  _ever_  supposed to find a single faerie in such a populated local?

Gwyn had briefed Fionn of a traitorous faerie that crossed some of the Hunt members while they were on a mission. According to his superior, the men he'd sent to make a diplomatic trip to some kingdom to hunt some monster for them as a favor were drugged, mugged, and their bodies were left to rot before Gwyn sent another member to locate them. There were many rogue faeries forming factions against Fair Folk, Nephilim, and Downworlders alike - especially after the events of the Dark War and the Cold Peace. Now, Fionn was tasked with tracking down the perpetrators and interrogating him/her to find if there were more that Gwyn could eliminate as recompense for their crossing of the Wild Hunt.

Gwyn was nothing if not honorable, and he firmly believed in the saying of 'An eye for an eye, a life for a life.'

But Fionn was unsure of his ability to track a faerie in this city. Adding atop the chaos that was the mundane world, there was also the Shadow World integrated within - many of which held hatred for his kind, or at the very least caution. There were those that still accepted faeries, but only certain ones that had previous comraderies. Fionn had to be careful how he proceeded. Mundanes didn't seem to care much about his appearance, considering there seemed to be many mundanes with their own…questionable fashion senses. But any Downworlder or Nephilim would recognize him instantly.

Fionn was armed with him normal array of weapons, many of which were concealed, and though the Wild Hunt was a separate faction from the courts of Faerie who were under the law of the Cold Peace, Fionn had no doubt that he'd be arrested or simply killed if he was caught by a Shadowhunter. Well  _attacked_. He wouldn't fall to any Shadowhunters.

Fionn walked down the streets, trying to stay aware of all of his surroundings, but there was just  _so much_ information to process. He stopped and leaned against a wall in an alley out of the main flow of mundanes on the sidewalk (at least he knew there were pathways for those on foot as opposed to those in the transportation contraptions), rubbing his eyes to cease his splitting headache. On top of his frustration, the smell of the sea filled the air - something he worked hard to block out. He needed a new plan besides just wandering around until he found a clue. The most Gwyn had given him was this city, but there had to be something else.

"Stupid faerie, stupid rune, stupid pencil…"

A boy surged past Fionn into the alley, his head down and covered by a hat, dressed as though it was going to be a cold day with a jacket, jeans, combat boots, and a thick scarf of teal silk. He ripped off said scarf, placing it on his arm as he pulled something out of his jacket and began to scratch his neck with it. It took a moment for Fionn to realize that the boy was a Shadowhunter and he was using a stele to draw a rune on his neck. Fionn also realized that his left arm was heavily bleeding, but as he finished his rune, he sighed and shook his injured limb to reveal that it had healed. He rolled up his sleeve and took out a cloth from his pocket, cleaning away the blood and then drew a rune. The Shadowhunter shimmered for a moment and Fionn realized he must've put a glamour on. Or maybe taken one off.

The Shadowhunter sighed in relief, rolling his sleeve down again, before turning to exit the alley once more, smacking into Fionn. "Sorry, I didn't meant to-! Fae?!"

The boy standing before him was, to his surprise, familiar. Blue eyes stared back at him, brown hair peeking out from beneath his hat. "My Hunter? What brings you here?"

"I'm working. You?"

"I am on an assignment to locate a rogue faerie that has crossed the Wild Hunt."

"I've been assigned to track down a den where some rogue faeries have apparently taken shelter as a base of operations. We found an operative to track, but, well…" He held up his previously injured left arm. "I got outsmarted by a faerie who knows how to use a pencil like a boss. Slashed my glamour rune and made me visible to people. I had to run before mundanes started asking questions and got a good look at me."

Fae nodded. "Faeries utilize their resources. Anything at our disposal is a weapon."

"And he had a pencil at his disposal. Fun."

"I would assume that is your verbal irony, however it grows painful to attempt to understand your language. I shall simply take your statement to mean you had no real fun."

Hunter looked out of the alley cautiously. He tensed, his face transforming into a deliberating soldier. Ah, so that's what he looked like when he was being a Shadowhunter. Fae had wondered sometimes, but seeing Hunter in a sort of mission-mode was quite…attractive.

"Do me a favor, will you?"

Without waiting for a response, Hunter wrapped the scarf he had around Fae's neck, leaving it lose as to not come off that he was going to choke the faerie, and then he removed his hat and tossed it further into the alley. Before Fae could ask what he was doing, he suddenly pushed Fae back against the wall and kissed him with a surprising amount of vigor coming from the inexperienced Hunter.

Hunter moved Fae's hand to his neck, and Fae suddenly realized what he was doing - hiding his healing rune that he'd just applied. That was why he was wearing clothes that hid his arms and legs, but since he was wounded he needed to place one upon the nearest patch of open skin, his left arm out of commission meaning he couldn't draw a rune there nor use his left hand to draw one on his right. His clothes didn't allow many options to place runes, so his neck was the easiest solution. Only now he needed to hide it, most likely from a pursuer from the previous encounter.

It was a well known fact that non-fey found public displays of affection unsettling and always tended to look away, but Fae wasn't sure it would work on a faerie. They didn't get bashful very easily and didn't have the same standards as humans. There was obviously a time and place for certain things, but any faerie looking for a target (especially a trained faerie) would look specifically for those attempting not to draw attention to themselves.

Fae considered Hunter's glamour and had to assume he changed his appearance from the person he'd confronted his target as. With Fae now wearing his scarf, that instantly changed the game so that  _he_  would be the first person Hunter's attacker would notice - as the scarf was definitely an eyesore and a distinguishable trait from a long distance or with a quick passing glance. Without his hat and scarf, his entire appearance shifted, Hunter would be nearly unrecognizable with one simple observational look, but upon closer inspection, his clothes hadn't changed and his sleeve was bloody. That sleeve was currently facing to the exit of the alley for all to see. There was no removing his jacket without his runes becoming visible, so the only way to remedy that was to flip their positions. So that's what Fae did, grabbing Hunter by his waste and then swinging them both around to shove Hunter against the wall.

"Fae-!" Hunter exclaimed in surprise.

"Your arm," he hissed simply, before locking their mouths together again.

Now Fae could hide a good deal of Hunter's appearance, but that left Fae the one to be covered. His hair was naturally becoming blonde by human standards thanks to the kiss but the sharp features of his face couldn't be helped much. Hunter was already ahead of him, though, as he slid his hands over Fae's ears to hide their point. That was as hidden as the two were going to get. In reality, it hadn't taken them very long to figure everything out, Fae considering all the necessary elements with his natural survival skills and Hunter managing to keep up just fine.

Fae heard the sounds of people mulling about despite being a bit distracted and having a hard time focusing (he had half a mind to forget about the stupid attacking faerie or whatever and just kiss Hunter into oblivion and then hope their pursuer just went away).

When he heard he heard running footsteps stop at their alley, he felt Hunter tense as he noticed them as well. It felt like an eternity as he tried to keep Hunter calm, running his free hand around Hunter's waist and causing him to shudder and relax his muscles just a bit. Then, the footsteps moved on. No one else even slowed just a little to look down their alley.

Fae pulled back and risked a glance, walking to look that their attacker hadn't attempted to fake them out by running past and then creeping back the way they came silently. He saw no one and sensed no foul play, but it was hard to be certain of anything when the city was interfering with his concentration. He needed to learn to cope with this challenge, as he had many others, but it was beginning to get on his nerves.

"We are clear," he informed Hunter.

Hunter sighed in relief. "Can't believe that worked."

"Why fear confrontation? I harbor little doubt you possessed the strength to overpower a single faerie. Were I to aid you, there would be no question."

"Call me paranoid, but I don't wanna know if that guy's got any tricks up his sleeve. If he managed to escape us, we'd risk having the word get out that a Shadowhunter worked with a faerie at the very least. At most, he'd spread rumors that we were in a relationship. Notoriety isn't always a good thing. Besides, now we can follow him. He'll need to report my attack at  _some_  point."

"And he shall call for allies to aid in an ambush. You find their base and you will no doubt be captured and interrogated in many gruesome ways. Faeries do not take chances. He will not lead you to their sanctuary. He will not be allowed to return until you are located and slain, unable to identify him. Should you go to your Clave for assistance, you will not be expected to report a failure. We Fair Folk know of your Shadowhunter pride. You will sooner die in combat than admit defeat to a faerie. At the very least, that is the assumption your target shall make, the only hope he has to drive his actions. This organization of rogue faeries is smart and ruthless. This faerie will be considered as good as dead for allowing your escape. The only redemption available comes from eliminating you before you are able to inform anyone of his existence and location. If you are not found soon, he shall flee this city and get some message to his superiors of his failure - perhaps his lack of reporting in shall be enough. No more operatives shall be risked for a good deal of time. We fey are patient creatures. They will wait."

Hunter sighed. "Well, let's go catch and interrogate him."

"Together?"

"You're after a faerie that got on the bad side of the Hunt, right? Correct me if I'm wrong, but one way or another, we're going after the same guy/group. Tell me of a reason we shouldn't work together to get answers out of him? You're a faerie and probably more versed on how to stop a faerie and how to break one during interrogation - especially a trained one. But I know the city better and a little more about mundane society, enough to be of use to you. Our diverse skills will work well to fill the weaknesses in each other and enhance the strengths. We know each other, get along well, and we're both on the same mission."

"And what of the results? Should we succeed, I will be forced to report aiding a Shadowhunter. Worse, allowing a Shadowhunter to aid  _me_."

"I can lie on my end, but neither of us have to directly aid each other. What if I just happened to be tracking the same faerie you were, and so you followed me and took advantage of my resources? If you word it exactly like that, it'll be assumed that you, quite literally, took  _advantage_  of my resources - as in my free will was never a factor. If you want, I can just leave you here and let you decide for yourself if you want to piggyback off my work. I'll have no say in the matter whatsoever. It's not like I can force you. Or, you could hold me at knifepoint and then then demand I help you so that you can tell the tale, and I was fully cooperative because you're very convincing. Or threatening. Cuz you  _are_  threatening."

Fae put his hand to his chin in thought. Hunter was admittedly good at considering the situation at present. "The latter suggestion shows promise. I've no qualms. With such a scenario, it would be quite simple for me to weave my words properly. I do so for a living. Gwyn trusts my ability and skills. As long as I return victorious in locating their stronghold and/or liberating it if possible, I doubt he will show great interest in my report overall. The holes in my tale should be inconsequential."

"Great. Uh, just be gentle with the knifepoint thing?"

Fae smirked. "There are three Downworlders that would slaughter me should they hear of this. No true harm shall come to you. If you cooperate, of course."

Fae instantly had a blade at Hunters throat, pinning his right arm by his wrist and pressing his body flush against Hunter's so that he couldn't struggle free or do much harm because of the angles required to do so.

"Will you cooperate, or shall we proceed with less flattering methods of persuasion?"

"Y-Yes," Hunter stuttered, genuinely surprised.

He didn't look to be in pain, Fae was being careful not to actually harm the boy, but he seemed flustered to say the least. Was he blushing out of embarrassment? Or was it actual fear increasing his heart rate and rushing blood to his mind to aid in self-defense? It didn't seem to be working, because his mental state seemed to have deteriorated rather than improved.

"Yes what?"

"I'll c-cooperate."

Fae removed his blade, released Hunter, and stepped back, sheathing his weapon casually in one swift motion. "Right, now come. Our target flees even as we speak."

Hunter blinked, remaining completely still, before clearing his throat. "Right. Oh, but wait!"

Hunter moved to retrieve the hat he'd thrown away, brushing off the dust before walking over and putting it on Fae's head, slipping his pointed ears inside. "You need to hide your faerie-ness to other Downworlders. Same with my Shadowhunter stuff. Bad enough to be seen separately, but together and people will get all kinds of opinions, and I can think of none that are good."

Fae nodded but reached up to shift the hat. "This is uncomfortable and unappealing. It is…ugly."

Hunter laughed. "That's blunt."

"My words are always blunt. You concur with my statement?"

"Well, Mer…m-my sister, I mean, she gave it to me when she told me the mission. She said incognito was the way to go. There's nothing wrong with hiding my origins, especially considering the hate Shadowhunters get from most of the Downworlders around here."

"Then I suppose this should serve you better than I." Fae removed the scarf Hunter had put on him and handed it over. Hunter wrapped it around his neck, trying to hide his Iratze rune, but he obviously couldn't see it. "Allow me to assist."

He moved to adjust the scarf so that it looked natural and wouldn't choke Hunter while also hiding his new rune - not an easy feat when he had little experience with the material, but Fae persevered. If Hunter shifted too much, there was nothing to be done, but Fae managed to hide any specks of black from the tattoo.

"How's it look?" Hunter asked.

"You look brilliant."

Hunter chuckled. "I wouldn't say  _brilliant_ , per se. This was the nearest thing my sister threw at me, it doesn't go with my outfit at all."

"I declared  _you_  look brilliant. Your attire is horrendous. I've not found an instance I desired your simple Shadowhunter aesthetics more than the present. Your natural garb is much more appealing."

Hunter blushed in embarrassment (Fae was sure it was embarrassment this time). "Yeah, well this was the first thing we had. I need to  _not_  look like a Shadowhunter, remember?"

Fae hummed in acknowledgment. "Let us be off."

Hunter led Fae through the streets of the city (apparently called San Francisco, which Fae wasn't even going to  _try_  and waste the brain power remembering) walking at the same pace as pedestrians around them and attempting to blend in. Hunter walked with an air of simplicity, slouching without proper posture and putting his hands in his pockets. Fae attempted to mimic his partner's actions without looking like he was trying too hard. Learning a new environment's rules and customs quickly to avoid sticking out and making yourself a target of harassment was a key skill in life.

"Okay, so I found him at this coffee shop back the way we came," Hunter informed Fae. "He's not gonna go back there, obviously, but the city folks have thieves all the time. In turn, there are also good samaritans. It won't be long before someone checks the security footage and identifies me. They'll put out an alert for a John Doe - a person with no identification that got into a fight. I got a headstart on the faerie guy, so that means he probably stuck around to clear his own name and blame everything on me."

"To find this perpetrator we must be vigilant. Do you know his reasons for turning up within the coffee shop?"

"He was meeting with an informant, but the informant never showed. It was only when the guy got fed up and was about to leave that I jumped in."

"Following discreetly might have proved the better option."

"Well, 'jumped in' might've been the wrong term. He saw me once he shifted positions to leave and everything spiraled out of control from there. Look, just let me ask around for a guy with pointy ears running around in a panic. I'll say he snuck into some cosplay convention or something. Mundanes will believe a lot of things these days. I don't even know what cosplay is, but they always seem to think that's what I'm doing when I'm caught without my glamour."

Fae watched as Hunter interacted with the mundanes on the street. He weaved a story about some man who looked like a witch with pointy ears and told them he caused a panic at a store and fled with his belongings. Some people brushed him off rudely and Hunter had to hold Fae back from attacking. A person disrespecting Hunter made Fae's blood boil, but he needed to remember that he was the inexperienced one there and Hunter could hold his own. There were, however, those who pointed them in the right direction - or at least  _a_  direction that they hoped was correct.

"I sense a strong faerie warding nearby," Fae announced.

"That's gotta mean we're on the right track."

Fae looked up. "This building here. The main building itself appears average, however I sense a powerful magic in the earth below." Fae knelt and put his palm to the ground. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes and concentrating. "There is a large underground network of faerie nature. It appears we have reached our destination."

"And the great possibility, if not a guarantee, of any number of faeries waiting in ambush. Plus we don't know if the runner is here and where he is in general."

"If he has informed them of your pursuit, they shall be prepared for a Shadowhunter. Even so, they shall not be prepared for a faerie of the Wild Hunt. If I am to misjudge, I highly doubt they suspect we shall be together."

"Can we get past the warding?"

"A normal faerie would not, nor a normal Shadowhunter." Fae smirked. "We are far from normal, however. The fact that I can sense the wards at all proves that I am strong enough to break through. Magic is not my strongest skill, however I am still more adept than most of my kind and my sex. A female would have ever more power than I, but I am plenty skilled enough to take down such simple faerie warding."

Hunter took a deep breath and drew his Seraph blade. "Mael." The blade flared to life from the hilt, growing into a bright, glowing, clear sword. He flipped the weapon in his hand, spinning it around. "Let's do this."

Fae flicked his wrist and his Io manifested. "Do not do anything foolish. These are faeries out for blood, and that can mean any amount of trouble. Do not leave my sight, and should events be beyond your control, whatever happens, do  _not_  die."

Hunter smiled. "I won't. I promise. Swear it on Mael." He held up his sword. "And Mael is my family's guardian angel, or so I've been told. We're the only ones allowed to use the name."

"Your angels confuse me very often."

"A lot of things about Shadowhunters and our history confuse me. But we'll make the world better, one way or another."

"If a faerie such as I and a Shadowhunter such as you can excel at forming a relationship of many types, be it through the heart, mind, body, through romance, planning, and combative teamwork, then I believe there must be hope in the future. The Clave shall realize the errors they beget from their Law. They've no choice, else they shall perish to their own foolish pride. Another thing they shall work to blame others for."

Hunter chuckled. "Yeah." He stepped forward to pull Fae into a kiss. "For good luck."

Fae blinked in confusion, but Hunter smirked and started moving to enter the building. Sighing, Fae followed with his own smile.  _Stay focused_.

* * *

Hunter kicked another of the faeries in the head, knocking him out instantly and sending him across the room. Fae bound the final enemies and grabbed the man Hunter knocked out.

"Hunter, secure the building. Let none escape. I shall interrogate this one."

"On your own?"

"It is best if I do this alone."

Hunter started for a moment before nodding and exiting the room, closing the door behind him. Fae punched the man in the gut, instantly waking him and sending him into a fit of coughing. Fae made sure the faerie was secure before pulling out his knife.

"This encounter has but one conclusion," Fae stated. "You shall tell me everything you know, and then you will die."

"Why…why do you fight us?" the faerie wheezed. "The Nephilim have…have no honor. You've…no reason to defend them."

"I've no interest in politics. Your men crossed my people. I am simply the man sent to return the favor. Now." Fae held his blade up, the black metal shimmering with a dark aura. "Do you know what this is?"

The faerie took one look and tensed, letting a small whimper escape. "Y-You! You're-"

"I shall assume your response warrants a positive answer. You know what this blade will do to you, and there is nothing you can do to stop it."

Fae sank the blade into the faerie's shoulder, the weapon long enough to exit his back. His eyes began to glow with rage, the aura of the blade seeping through his veins. Fae watched as the man screamed and the blade's enchantment took over, driving the faerie insane and taking any resolve to keep his secrets away in seconds.

"Now, what did you want to tell me?"

* * *

When Hunter opened the door to the room he'd left Fae in, he was greeted with Fae staring straight at him.

"Ah! Fae, don't scare me like that!"

Fae smirked. "You should be more careful when traversing this local. Were I to have fallen during my interrogation of the faerie and this room retaken, you would have walked into a trap."

Hunter shrugged. "Well, I have more faith in you than to lose to a simple faerie. I got a couple more stragglers trying to escape."

"Throw them in. We must leave, now."

"Something wrong?"

"This building has been set to implode. We've little time remaining. It shall not be a simple collapse. Smell the air. Gas has been released to be lit in an explosion of fire."

Hunter didn't hesitate to toss the two faeries he'd captured, one in each hand, into the room past Fae, before closing the door behind the two of them. Fae put his hand on the door handle and it seared red-hot in an instant, melting off.

"Better be careful if the place is filling with flammable gas," Hunter pointed out.

"I am immune to heat, and I shall do my utmost to protect you. However it is best we make haste."

Hunter nodded and the two of them made their way out. Just as they ran past the door, Fae snapped and lit a flame in his palm. He dived to shield Hunter as the building exploded, fire, shards of glass, and rubble flying their way and the entire structure folding in on itself to fall down to the secret basement levels where the faeries had taken residence.

"You are unharmed?" Fae asked.

"Right as rain."

"Rain is quite deadly for me."

Hunter blinked and then chuckled nervously. "Oh. Well, I'm not even sure where that saying comes from, but it's a mundane thing."

"Well, is it not also a mundane saying that 'It is the thought that counts?' Lock has described that to mean intentions matter most, even should actions fail to do as expected."

Hunter chuckled. "Yeah. That's true most of the time, but there are obviously instances where that logic is flawed. Nothing's perfect." Hunter stood and brushed some dust off his jacket. "So…what do we do now?"

Fae got to his feet and removed the hat Hunter had given him, still on his head, and swiped off the ashes and glass. "I return to the Hunt with my victory. You return to your Institute with yours."

"Sure, sure, but…I mean, that took a lot less time than I expected. It's not even close to sundown yet. We've got a  _little_  time on our hands."

Fae cocked his head in confusion. "To use doing…what, exactly?"

Hunter avoided Fae's gaze. "W-Well…how about we go on a date? It's the one time we're meeting each other outside of the meeting grounds, both of us sort of cloaked. There's little chance I'll be recognized as a Shadowhunter, and if you keep that hat on, most of your faerie traits will be disguised as well. We've finished our work but still have a few hours to spare before we  _really_  need to get back. It's a rare opportunity."

Fae looked ready to speak, but the he hesitated and looked to the side in consideration. "Have you any suggestions?"

Hunter smiled. "It's the city. There's plenty to do. I've been given cash for my mission just in case - basically currency to pay for things that I might need without having to give my identification. I mean, there are  _some_  things that require identification, but not any that we might buy."

Fae shifted from foot to foot in consideration. "Something simple, perhaps? I…I am not averse to the notion, however…I do not favor such a densely populated location. There are revels and villages and towns in Faerieland, however…the contraptions here are very loud, the buildings are tall and block the sky, the people are…not my people. The smells, the sights, the taste in the air, the feeling of nature so foreign…it is all very overwhelming for a faerie such as I who has little experience coping with such an environment."

"We can go some place that's quiet to just…get something to eat. I can show you some mundane food. I mean, well…I guess…that's not gonna help with you feeling out of place…but I wanted…nevermind, we can try-"

"I would be honored to sample the delicacies of mundane meals, my Hunter."

"Well, they're not really  _delicacies_. But…Fae, you don't have to do anything you don't want to for my sake. I'd feel guilty if you subject yourself to such torture just to please me. I want to do this for your sake, try and show you something new, but if this place makes you  _that_  uncomfortable, maybe we should go somewhere else-"

"Hunter, I must learn to cope with a situation in a populated city one day. It is in my best interest to learn more of the mundane world should I find myself in need of such information. If I am to run from a challenge simply because I am not spoiled and within my comfort zone, what warrior would I be? I would be nothing but a coward playing hero. If you have a proper suggestion to something I may favor, please, do share. If I am stranded in this place, one day, I must learn to travel, to pay for items that may prove useful, find food that I would enjoy and know the scenarios to avoid. Please, do teach me of this land while the opportunity presents itself."

Hunter looked up at Fae before taking a deep breath. "Okay. But if something disturbs you, you must tell me instantly and I'll work to fix it or find a solution. There's most likely an easier way to improve things to your liking. If you ask nicely enough, those who sell food can make specific changes to a meal. There isn't much haggling here in the United States, but in other places around the world like India, it's expected. I think, I've never been to India but I've studied it. You'll learn the ropes soon enough."

Hunter put Fae's hat back on his head, slipping his ears inside.

"I think I've got the perfect place for you. If we hurry, we can make it before rush hour when a bunch of people come to eat. Come on."

Hunter led Fae away and down the street. Luckily the building they were in wasn't in a populated area, else they'd have even more issues. Fae looked back once more at the building he'd destroyed. Surely Hunter would be upset if he learned that Fae had been the one to set off the explosion, as well as releasing the gas that threatened them in the first place. Hunter would be even more displeased to know his method of interrogation, what the blade he used meant. Fae was content allowing Hunter to believe that the faeries they had disposed of were the ones to set up their own destruction in a last ditch attempt to stop Hunter and Fae. No one would ever know better, no one but Fae. And there would never be a reason to bring up such a thing later in life.

Fae had done his job, he'd killed all the faeries in the base. On top of it, he'd prevented Hunter from seeing his darker side. For just a little longer, it was best that Hunter knew nothing of Fae's cruelty. He'd always prided himself on his faerie powers of keeping secrets, but he felt a pang of guilt, using his skills against Hunter. He wanted to tell the truth. Hunter would most likely forgive him, right? But Hunter would be filled with doubt. What is truth and what is merely assumption? The problems with his relationship only grew. Not only do they have their future to worry about, but Fae had to worry about his past being discovered as well, his deceitful ways. Would Hunter ever be able to cope with someone like him? In truth, Fae would rather not know.

Fae followed Hunter through the city, wearing a ridiculous hat and attempting to block out the smells, sounds, and feeling of the crowded location. He took comfort in Hunter by his side to guide him, and felt even more relieved when Hunter took his hand 'to keep from getting separated.' Fae smiled despite the situation simply because his hunter was by his side. He didn't want to lose this. Not yet.

* * *

Hunter paid for the simplest sandwich he could get - just cheese, lettuce, and tomatoes because why not? Subway was the closest thing to fresh food he could think of of the top of his head. He hoped that Fae liked it, but he was unsure of what ingredients Fae liked on his sandwich. Fae was sitting at a booth he chose that allowed him to see the entire restaurant for safety's sake, waiting for Hunter, not wanting to risk someone trying to get a closer look at him if he ordered himself, and Hunter, for the life of him, couldn't remember all the options and then relay them to Fae. The simplest choice was to just get something simple and hope for the best. He bought some sweet tea and a bag of Ruffles in a meal to make things cheaper and get a little more out of it. When he realized Fae might not like all the artificial sweetener, he added on a regular tea (since Hunter wanted the sweet tea for himself).

Hunter moved to the booth and sat down. He gave half of the foot-long sandwich to Fae and took the other half for himself. "I got something simple," he explained.

Fae stared at the sandwich curiously before shrugging and taking a bite. A good deal of the lettuce fell out, but it had fallen onto the table, so nothing that couldn't be cleaned. "It is certainly different, however…not undesirable."

"I'll take that to mean it's good?"

Fae put a hand to his chin in thought while Hunter tried not to show how cute he found Fae's gestures of curiosity. "It is new, yet also familiar. Words leave me at the taste. Faerie delicacies are certainly more refined, but this a simple concept that retains a good deal of merit."

"We each have six inches of a twelve inch sub. Twelve is okay for one person to eat if they're hungry enough, but I wanted to share and still get a cheap deal. Italian bread, American cheese, lettuce, and tomatoes. Oh, and not toasted - they ask you if you want it toasted. Here, I also got you tea. It's also gonna be different, but hopefully not  _too_  different. Mine's a little overwhelming for untrained taste buds, so I figured you should start small and work your way up."

Fae looked ready to protest, but quickly swallowed his words. "You are the expert."

"Not really an  _expert_ , but I can make my guesses. Diving head-first into the deep end is how you drown yourself. Sometimes, patience is key."

"'Discretion is the better part of valor,'" Fae quoted. "An ally of mine once told me so. Luzzu, that was his name. Suffice to say, he fell in battle for failing to listen to his own words of wisdom. Though, I suppose he had his reasons. A new recruit was under his command to be trained. The boy wished to prove himself so desperately that he rushed into the field of battle with little caution. Luzzu was forced to make up for his insolence, and though he could've simply left the boy to face his own mistakes, he rushed to his doom to save his student."

"So what happened?"

"Luzzu was torn in half and the boy, Gatta, was traumatized beyond salvation. He fled the army he served after that and I-"

Fae stopped himself.

"Fae?" Hunter asked.

Fae took a sip of his drink and then deliberated over the taste. He took a few more sips, as though trying to discern the ingredients used to make it. He took bites of his sandwich in between, distracting himself. "These make a very nice combination."

Hunter sighed at Fae's terrible attempt to change the subject. "Fae, what happened? Nothing you say is gonna make me suddenly hate you or think you're a monster. This is Faerie we're talking about, I've come to expect any number of terrible things."

Fae sat back in his seat, staring off at the lights on the other end of the room, as though considering if he should tell the truth or stay silent. He seemed to be leaning more to the latter option.

"You had to hunt him down and kill him?"

Fae's body language remained stoic and uncaring, but his mismatched eyes moved to meet Hunter's. There was a question in his eyes, though whether the question was  _how_  Hunter knew that or if Hunter seriously believed he'd gotten it  _right_ , Hunter was unsure.

Hunter shrugged. "It seemed to be a logical place that the story was going. And it doesn't change anything about how I see you, ya know."

Fae sat forward. "What I intended to say was far harsher than your summary, but yes, I killed the boy. He hadn't even grown into a man yet, younger than you. Still a child."

"What were you about to say? Don't think I can't take it just because I'm not a faerie. I'm not a delicate Shadowhunter, either. I'm stronger than the boy you found me as."

Fae rolled his eyes.  _Rolled his eyes_. Now things were getting serious. "Finish your meal before I conclude my story. You may never complete your dining should I explain beforehand."

Hunter sighed, but agreed to that deal. He and Fae ate their sandwiches in silence (well silence at  _their_ booth, the rest of Subway was buzzing with other customers). Hunter ate the Cheddar and Sour Cream flavored Ruffles he bought, which did brighten his mood just a little bit. He shared one with Fae, throwing caution into the wind, and Fae seemed to become addicted quickly.

"They're chemicals in there that make you want more," Hunter remembered being told. "It's apparently a marketing thing. Once you become attached, you want to buy more, and that's how they make money."

"And yet the Fair Folk are the ones known for their dangerous food. That feels to be a miscalculation on the Shadowhunters' part."

"Yeah, well mundanes aren't usually taken into consideration as threats. Compared to the Shadow World, they're considered tame."

"The more tame they appear, the more turmoil that brews beneath the surface. You'd do well to never underestimate humans. They are great in numbers, developing many methods of war and even just simple diversion and manipulation tactics that seem innocent until a single evil mind takes to the extreme."

Hunter cracked a small smile. "It's not out of the question. If the mundanes take over the world, I know who'll get to say 'I told you so.'"

Fae sipped the last of his drink, his sandwich already gone. "Do you still wish to know the details of my killing of the boy who ran after his mentor was slain?"

"Yeah, just a little."

"Gatta was charged with cowardice and responsible for the death of his commanding officer. As such, I was tasked with eliminating him in the cruelest of ways. Suffice to say, I was the most ruthless in my father's army to prove my worth. So I sliced his entrails free to tie him up and then skinned him alive. A simple spell kept him alive for long enough that he felt every second."

Hunter blinked at how casually Fae explained his story. So Fae  _was_  capable of such procedures. Hunter hadn't even taken into account the fact that Fae knew magic. The other faeries that had done those revolting procedures to all Downworlders and Shadowhunters alike had done things differently, however. Fae was still a faerie, but Hunter could tell that he at least regretted his actions, knew they were wrong. Hunter had to swallow a slight bit of nausea from the image in his head Fae's simple description had produced, but he was snapped back to reality when Fae stood from the booth and moved to hurry out the door.

"Wait! Fae!" Hunter gathered their trash and threw it in the bin as she rushed after the faerie. "Fae, hold on!"

Fae reluctantly stopped and waited for Hunter to catch up. He stared at the pavement, as though expecting some scolding.

"Fae, what's wrong?"

"I knew you would be disgusted, but this is who I am. It is my nature, it is how I have lived, and it is how I shall continue to live."

Hunter sighed. "Fae, I'm not disgusted by you."

"Your expression tells me otherwise."

" _Temporary_  expression," he corrected. "I was  _kinda_  disgusted for like a second, but I literally went on a mission not too long ago that had things just as gruesome. I started thinking about  _that_  and then realized the culprit had been a faerie too, but there was the distinct difference that you look back on your actions with regret while she bragged about her past killings with pleasure. So guess what? If you had told me you enjoyed dishing out pain for no reason, yeah, I'd never wanna go near you again. But I know who you are. You're the guy that saved me when you didn't have to. You're the faerie that's put everything on the line for your friends, for me, and for yourself. You're loyal and powerful and you do what needs to be done, but you know what's right and wrong. You are who you are because you've got no choice, but I'd say you turned out pretty well considering the circumstances."

Fae looked up at Hunter, his silver eye gleaming. He seemed surprised at Hunter's reaction.

"And if you think you're the only one of the two of us who's killed in vile ways, you have to remember you're talking to a Shadowhunter. Like it or not, we do unspeakable things on a daily basis and are often forbidden to speak about it."

Fae tilted his head in curiosity. "Such as?"

Hunter shrugged, looking into the parking lot in front of the Subway they'd just left. "Well…there was once a time I was assigned to another Institute. They'd just captured a vampire and the guy in charge just suddenly pointed to me and told me to follow him. We went to an office where he had the vampire strapped to a chair. He looked terrified and was shouting that this was illegal under the Accords; he'd done nothing wrong and torture wasn't allowed. The Head of the Institute didn't listen and gave me a laser pointer with UV rays. Obviously that's not a good thing for vampires. I had to burn his skin, really badly. I'm not even sure what the interrogation was for, but the vampire had nothing to tell. I tried protesting, but the Head threatened to report  _me_  for this incident - and he would obviously have the overriding voice. The Mortal Sword would be on my side if I told them the Head ordered me to do what I did, but I knew my father wouldn't ever forgive me for drawing so much attention to our family."

"So what did you do?"

"Nothing. I burned the vampire's eyes out and then the Head slit his throat. We simply opened the curtains and let the vampire burn to nothing but ashes. I had to do the clean up and leave no evidence. And all this time, I've had to live with secrets like that. So you see, a lot of things pushed me up to that building. Ever since you gave me a reason to live again, I've probably done even more cruel stuff that I regret. But it's been easier to push the pain away, it's not as easy for the guilt to crush me. Maybe that makes me crazy, evil even."

Fae smiled sadly. "You are far from evil, my Hunter. Your heart is the purest I've ever known."

Hunter shrugged. "We can be regretful psychopaths together. Nothing in your past is gonna make me change my opinion about you, I promise. And clearly nothing about me is gonna be enough to disgust you."

Fae sighed. "I may test your resolve many times should we continue this relationship."

"Hey, I made you a promise. Promises are everything to faeries, right? I think I'm obligated to try and live up to your expectations."

Fae smiled. "Perhaps I have grown too weary of humans. I've little trust in you despite all you have done to prove yourself."

"Stay weary of us humans. Even when we prove ourselves trustworthy, that doesn't mean we're incapable of lying and manipulating and tricking. It's pointless to think about, and sad. But, for what it's worth, I'm gonna try and be different and tell you the truth all the time. It's only fair that way, right?"

Fae nodded. "You understand that I myself am still capable of deceit. I can merely choose not to give specifics or opt to tell only certain aspects of a tale to allow you to assume."

"Yeah, I know. But I don't mind. You have your reasons."

Fae blinked in surprise, as though Hunter mystified him. "Why are you so lenient towards my transgressions?"

"Because I trust you? Because I love you? Because I owe you the benefit of the doubt after I've seen you be so kind to me? Take your pick. I know who you are, I know what you are, and yet I still fell in love with you. Funny thing, love. It makes us do very unpredictable things."

Fae stared for a long moment, his face gentler than Hunter had ever seen. He resembled a child getting their mind blown by a wise talk from their grandfather or something. Fae's mismatched eyes seemed to examine Hunter's face to look for lies or for inconsistencies, or maybe for some secret reason Hunter hadn't yet listed. He didn't seem to find anything, even with his faerie experience.

"Indeed it does," he said finally.

Hunter laughed and took Fae's hand, seemingly surprising him for the first time ever. Hunter never even knew it was possibly for Fae to look so shocked. He was always composed and never really gave away his confusion even when he had it. Hunter was supposed to be the one always doubting himself and needed Fae to give encouraging speeches. It was a nice change of pace, and it showed how much Fae trusted Hunter if he let his barriers down like that, but Hunter wanted his Fae back.

"Come on. Time to introduce you to fries."

Fae's hand remained limp in Hunter's, but as they walked, he finally remembered that he had to grip Hunter's hand back and did so. Hunter smiled at the faerie, finally getting him to smile back and shake his head in disbelief.

"You are truly an enigma, my Hunter."

"I know."

Fae smirked. "Smart ass."

"Learn that from Lock?"

"Pyre."

"Ah, that makes sense."

Fae laughed. A good, hearty, deep, joyful, long cackle that Hunter had never heard before. It looked foreign on the normally stoic faerie, it sounded warm but unnatural. Fae seemed to be inexperienced with the feeling as well, holding his stomach and ending in a breathy chuckle filled with a sense of surprise.

"I've not felt such joy before."

Hunter smiled. "I'm honored to be the one to give it to you."

Fae stood straight again, taking a deep breath to recompose himself. "What was this 'fries' you spoke of?"

"Fries is plural. And they're…basically potatoes sliced into a tall rectangular prism shape and then fried in…well, that I'm unsure of, then covered in salt. I found it odd, but they taste good."

Fae shrugged. Why not?

* * *

"This tomato paste named after Ketch is quite odd."

"Ketchup. I'm not sure if it's named after anyone, but humans like it to use as a dip for finger foods. I don't know of any standards - they just dip whatever they have in it and seem to like it. My sister says that fries are common, though not required."

"I question how tomatoes are the source of such paste."

"That's basically the definition of every food in the mundane world. So much of it comes from natural ingredients - obviously, since natural ingredients are abundant and renewable - but there's a ton of stuff that I can't even name that the food is processed with."

"The human world contains danger in abundance."

"Nothing that'll kill you instantly upon eating it - unless there's specifically poison included, but that's a whole different story. I think most stuff only becomes dangerous if you indulge long-term. Mundane food is just a rare treat for me, so I don't think I'm in any danger. Besides, we've got runes for most diseases and poisons. I'd assume your enhanced healing protects you from stuff like this too."

"I would assume so as well. The Hunt has attended revels in the mundane world, however there were other Downworlders present. We provide our own meals and beverages. It is never a guarantee you shall be safe during a celebration."

Hunter smiled. "Well, same with humans. Teenagers and even adults are immature and tend to find it fun to get their friends as zonked out as possible, be it through alcohol or drugs of any kind. No drink or food is safe, and the more determined you are to  _not_  get roofied, the more determined your friends become to see you come crashing down. I've learned that when we go undercover at mundane celebrations, you can't just sit in a corner and try not to be seen. Anyone who picks you out as a weak link will see you as an easy target of harassment. At the very least, it's best to stay with someone else that you trust and  _pretend_  to be having a good time."

"That is the summary of many faerie events as well. If you look weak, you shall be singled out with haste. Should you refuse to enjoy yourself, it is seen as an insult to the host of the revel, which can lead to any number of punishments depending on their status."

Hunter chuckled. "Faeries are more similar to the outside world than I thought."

"This revelation comes new to I as well."

"How much experience outside of Faerieland do you have?"

Fae shrugged. "Very little. Enough to survive, of course, however I have learned it is in my best interest to stay out of human affairs. Lock provided me the information I required for certain tasks in recent years, and I have learned most from our encounters in the meeting grounds. And this excursion as well."

Hunter sighed and leaned back in his seat. "I hope I haven't majorly screwed this up."

"In what manner?"

"We got into an argument within the first few minutes of eating at Subway, and I guess there isn't a lot of interesting stuff I can take you to without a car. I can't say what'll be interesting for a faerie, even then. Hell,  _I_  barely know what'll be entertaining for  _me_. I've gone all around San Francisco for missions, but I never took the time to enjoy the places that I went."

"I would find pleasure in any location we traversed under the condition that I am accompanied by you, my Hunter."

Hunter blushed and averted his gaze in an attempt to hide it. Fae had come to learn that Hunter didn't handle compliments any better than before, but at least now he was swallowing protests. He got flustered very easily when it came to Fae, and Fae couldn't help but feel a slight bit of pride at having the special reaction from the Shadowhunter all to himself.

"You exceeded my expectations of trust and endurance, and I was at fault for failing to have confidence in your love. You…mystify me, my Hunter. I fear I know very little of who you are. My knowledge of Shadowhunters and non-fey overall leave me unprepared for the wonders you present."

Hunter chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his head. "Well, you said so yourself. We're far from normal."

Fae smiled. "Indeed we are."

The two of them continued their meal (Hunter didn't understand how Fae could still keep eating; he had eaten enough for three at this point and supposedly he rarely, if ever, got a full stomach back in the Hunt) while Hunter and Fae exchanged random conversation topics. It was hard to believe that the two of them had anything to worry about in their lives. They smiled and laughed, mentioned their worlds as a Shadowhunter and a faerie casually, took little opportunities to make contact, and acted relatively normal around each other - no serious façades or shy aversion to conversation. Even Fae seemed slightly nervous, trying to figure out the right things to say to Hunter with the rare stutter or hesitation.

"Keep your head down," Fae suddenly ordered.

"Hm?" Hunter blinked.

Fae readjusted Hunter's scarf to hide his rune. "We've unexpected guests. Downworlders that I have done work with for the Hunt. They will not take our meeting lightly should they realize you are a Shadowhunter. I will be reported to any and every mercenary they come into contact with, word will spread, and soon it shall reach unwanted ears."

Hunter refrained from turning to look in the direction Fae was referencing, something Fae was thankful for. "What do we do?"

"It is best we make our escape swiftly."

"You go. You're in more danger. If they see a Shadowhunter alone-"

"I remain the most notable. This hat cloaks not my identity, my garb remains to easily show I am of the Wild Hunt to trained eyes."

"Do we have their suspicion?"

"It appears they are being taken to a table to dine. They are not aware of us yet."

"Then go while you can and make sure it doesn't look like you came from my table. If one of them notices you before you get out of sight, I'll play the Shadowhunter card."

"What 'Shadowhunter card' do speak of?"

"The one that makes me look like a complete douche." Fae's face contorted on confusion, but Hunter waved him to leave. "Nevermind. I have to pay for the food anyway. I'm not so uncivilized that I'd take the opportunity to flee without giving my money just because an opportunity arose."

Fae looked ready to protest, but grabbed a napkin and walked over to the nearest trash can. Hunter waved over a waiter and asked for the bill, getting it passed to him as he counted out the money needed. He had been told by his sister that restaurants usually wanted to give tips to the staff for their work and it was a certain percentage of the price on the bill, but Hunter was in a hurry so he simply threw in an extra $20 for the change and the tip together. It was the Institute's money, after all.

Fae walked over to the hallway leading to the restrooms, a sneakier exit than the front door. It was near the back of the restaurant, but it would definitely be subtle if he made it.

Hunter turned to look for the gang that Fae had mentioned, and they were easy to spot. They looked like a group of mercenaries, all right. Five in all, one woman, four men. They were dressed in casual clothes, but definitely hunter attire. To the trained eye, they were all wearing clothes tight enough to not trip them up, but loose enough that they could do any amount of fighting without any issues. Hidden in their belts under their jackets were knives and swords, maybe even a gun or two, but Hunter couldn't be sure from the angle and distance he was at. Shadowhunters didn't use firearms for some reason, but he knew what they were and how deadly they could be.

The five of them could be mistaken for a biker gang or just San Francisco people in general, laughing and joking around. They were bold and drew the eye of some of the other customers, but after a glance or two they were accepted as just another group of friends going out for a meal. Even the staff seemed unconcerned, the waiter assigned to them taking their orders with ease and even getting some small talk out of them.

"So what're  _you_  guys doing this evening?" she asked, scribbling down the orders on her notepad.

"We're just passing through, getting the gang back together," one of the men said casually.

"Sounds like a party. I'll have your drinks made in a few minutes. Might take a bit longer for the food."

"Please, take your time," another said, waving his hand. "It's no big deal."

The waitress walked away while the five of them began quiet chattering. Hunter saw one of the men point in Fae's direction, who was talking to one of the staff members that seemed to have stopped him in his escape. He'd gone down the wrong hallway leading to a staff area and was now being directed to the restrooms. Hunter pulled out his stele and drew a rune on his wrist before concentrating as their voices became clear.

"-will pay good money for a faerie of the Wild Hunt," a man whispered.

"You  _really_  wanna cross Gwyn ap Nudd?" the woman asked skeptically.

"He'll never know it was us," another of the men argued. "If one of his lone soldiers went to the city and happened to run into trouble, there are any number of Downworlders ready to slaughter the nearest faerie."

"Hell, would it even be that hard to say it was a  _Shadowhunter_  that attacked?" a third agreed. "With the Cold Peace in play, there'd be little he could do. The Hunt doesn't do politics, but a Shadowhunter could easily bend their precious law to say that he was an armed faerie and therefore he was justified in attacking. It's what Valentine did. Would it really be surprising if a Cold Peace supporter attacked?"

"This could easily backfire," the fourth guy mumbled. "Gwyn isn't tricked easily. You remember when we worked with him last time. There was a clear suspect to a crime, but he deduced the real culprit before we could even  _suggest_  taking the suspect guy out. Gwyn was  _right_  from the get-go despite all the distracting that happened to lead us astray. All because of 'intuition.' Do we really have what it takes to cover our tracks from a trained hunter? Worse, the leader of a gang of hunters that's  _centuries_  old? You've heard the rumors that Fair Folk only get more powerful with age."

"Well, no matter how good he is, he's not omnipotent. The fact that it's so risky is why the big guy would pay so much for him. Better yet, we turn in the faerie  _alive_  and he'll have a new plaything to keep him busy. The Wild Hunt's members are valuable because opportunities like this never arise. Whatever he's doing here, he's not doing a very good job of disguising himself."

"Gwyn wouldn't send just any old member on a solo mission to a city," the girl pointed out. "He had to know that there was a huge risk. Like you said, there are any number of people from the Shadow World that have it out against the fey. Or maybe he's not solo. Maybe there are more waiting in the woodworks."

"There are five of us and we know how to fight faeries," the first guy declared. "We'll never know unless we try."

"Yeah, you two. Why don't you live a little?" the second smirked.

The reluctant man sighed. "Fine. But if this goes south, you'd better be ready to fix this."

"What kind of hunters would we be if we weren't?"

The man stood and walked over in Fae's direction, who was attempting to weave through the tables without drawing attention to himself - something that was exceedingly difficult with only a funny hat to hide his faerie features. Fae somehow knew he was being targeted without even turning to look, as his strides began to become longer and he became less cautious about the people he was passing, stepping around tables with more grace than before, his faerie skills returning to him as he got back into his groove.

Hunter removed his scarf and jacket, stuffing the scarf into his coat and then walking over to where the mercenary guy was, attempting to catch up or even follow Fae into the hallway leading to the bathrooms so that the mundanes wouldn't be witness to the squabble that was about to occur.

"Is there a problem here?" Hunter asked, hoping not to draw the attention of the mundanes.

"I don't know," the man spat. " _Is_  there?"

Hunter purposefully showed off his runes and saw each member of the group stare in recognition. "I recommend refraining from doing anything stupid. That faerie is an informant of mine in a case involving rogue Fair Folk that have committed mass murders. I'd hate to have to go back to the Clave and say that I was forced to deal with a band of freelance mercenaries that got in my way, but when something can't be helped, what can you do?"

The group shared glances. "A Shadowhunter working with a faerie of the Wild Hunt? Aren't you all against all faeries with your little Cold Peace in play? And since when did you Nephilim start working with the Gwyn?"

"He was of great help locating the base of my targets. Gwyn owed me a favor from long before the Dark War, so he gave me a faerie for the day. Of course, if you don't believe me, go and bug Gwyn over this issue yourself. I'd love to see him snap at you for bothering him just for a little squabble in a restaurant. Then again, maybe I  _wouldn't_  want to see the punishment for attempting to take out one of his best men. Then we can't forget that you attempted to interfere with an important mission of Shadowhunter business. You've crossed two different organizations that won't hesitate to give you an infinite amount of pain should they find out what you tried to do. So, I suggest you sit back down and enjoy your meal while you still can."

Hunter moved to join Fae, pulling him towards the hall for the restrooms so that they could leave through the back door. Luckily no one followed them, and hopefully no mundane heard the argument and got the wrong idea. It was sometimes more trouble than it was worth explaining things to mundane. Most of the time they could get away with pretending it was just acting or they were talking about a videogame or something, but other times they got the police called on them. Glamour runes were useful, but when you had to improvise without them, things got real.

Hunter sighed in relief when they were out of sight. "Whoo. That went well. Hopefully those guys aren't stupid enough to take me up on my threat."

Fae suddenly shoved Hunter up against the wall and kissed him with a small noise of surprise from Hunter. He had just gotten over his shock and reciprocated when Fae pulled back and continued down the hall like nothing happened.

"Should they go to the Hunt, Gwyn would slaughter them either way. Should they seek an audience with him, Gwyn would whip them for simply believing he'd owed a Shadowhunter anything. He would discern their lies - learn their true intentions when they laid eyes upon me. Normally, I loathe liars, but I found you were quite striking. I admit, I did not expect such suave motions from you, my Hunter."

Hunter blinked, smiling and hurrying to catch up with Fae before rubbing the back of his head. "Lying to strangers is easier than comrades, at least for me. I heard them saying they were going to turn you over to some superior that would've 'Paid a lot' for you as a faerie of the Wild Hunt. And that you'd be a good 'Plaything' if brought in alive. That makes me suspect there are definitely more factions out there that want to take down the Shadow World." He sighed. "Well, that's the second place that's been ruined in about five hours."

"I know little of your time increments, however dusk has settled upon us. I've time to walk the city. Come. Show me of your nightly festivities."

Hunter used an unlock rune on the door for them to escape out into the open and the two of them walked down the sidewalk together. There wasn't much left to talk about thanks to their dinner date, so Hunter struck up the conversation he was worried to ask about.

"So, who were those guys back at the restaurant?"

"Mercenaries for hire. Gwyn had his share of conflict during the previous war. I, among others, aided fighters against Sebastian Morgenstern's forces. We were hired amidst the most ruthless of warriors, with no system of trust. We completed our tasks without hesitation, no questions asked, no deviation allowed. Should anyone step out of line, we were granted permission to terminate. There were multiple factions - those from the Hunt, the group you previously spoke to, and many others - to ensure there would be no favoritism."

"What did you do, back in the Dark War?"

"Eliminate demons and traitorous Shadowhunters. Nothing of noteworthy recollection. My brother and I joined the Hunt in the midst of the conflict, no beginning I can recall. And what of you?"

"Same, pretty much. Shadowhunters were scrambling to either fight or simply wait out the war. A lot of people began to doubt our Law based on Valentine's ability to stir and uprising like that. The reaction was to either ignore the Clave because they were untrustworthy and there was no guarantee that they would lead us to victory, or to reinforce the rules in newer and stricter ways to strengthen them after years of becoming soft. At least, that's how it was on my end. I fought with the others when things got serious and big battles happened. I didn't get a Downworlder partner during the time Clary made a rune for us to share our abilities, which I'm kinda disappointed about."

"Would you share such power with me?"

"I think we'd work pretty well together."

"I highly doubt we would work  _together_. I presume it would become to each our own. I fear possessing allies I care for."

"Why's that?"

"To care for anyone within battle means to have liabilities. I would be concerned for your safety constantly, feeling I must take it upon myself to spare you harm. It is a well-known fact that worrying for another's safety will lead a person to ruin. I've done such for my brother all my life, and it has taken time to put my trust in him. Each day I am wracked with fear for his health. I've grown numb to the pain in my chest, but I…I know that I would break from the dread your risk would impose upon me."

Hunter slipped his hand into Fae's. "You trusted me today. We did a little fighting, a little threatening mercenaries."

"Battles of little consequence. The faeries we encountered were…much less threatening than during times of war. I told you not to die under any circumstances - I told you how reluctant I was to bring you into the exchange while hiding the depths of my anxiety. I knew you would tell me 'Nothing will go wrong,' but no matter the words you speak, the future remains uncertain nonetheless." He took a deep breath and sighed. "Trust will not come easy for me. This day has proven so. I do not…I do not wish to lose you to Death. I do not want the pain of terror for your wellbeing."

Hunter leaned his head on Fae's shoulder. "All I can do is promise you that I'll try my damn hardest not to die. Having a reason to live generally helps with the whole not dying thingy."

Fae chuckled. "Yes, it does prove to be proper motivation."

"You know, I feel the same way about you. You leave for the Hunt with no guaranteed return. Every time I see you leave, I wonder in the back of my head if that'll be the last time we ever meet. I think 'What was the last thing I said to you?' 'What was the last thing  _you_  said to  _me?_ ' 'When was the last time I told you I loved you?' The last time I held your hand, the last time I saw you smile and smiled back. And the scariest part is, sometimes I can't remember. Sometimes I panic and think that I can't answer one of those questions, that I've lost something so important. You don't appear for one meeting because you're just not available at that time, and suddenly I can't sleep the entire night. Then, you appear the next day saying you were taking a bath at the time or your horse was being a stubborn steed and I feel so stupid for ever doubting you."

"Life in the Shadow World. No matter what species, each of us fears for our lives and our loved ones. There is nothing to be done beyond have hope and faith. I've seldom done so in years past, though it seems I am left with little choice in the matter."

"I've heard the saying that hope allows us to accept fate, however tragic it may be. Depressing thought, but that's Shadowhunters for you. Hope is a powerful thing. Sometimes it can lie to us. But others it can make us strong where we're weak. It can push us to do amazing things. It can, indeed, make us accept a tragic future, but it can give us the power to  _change_  that future when facing crushing odds. We hope in the face of despair. That makes us strong."

"Hey!"

They two of them looked back down the street to find two of the mercenaries from the restaurant staring at them with clear fury.

"Run!" Fae shouted.

He dragged Hunter by their clasped hands, sprinting through the streets - still quite populated with mundanes despite the hour. They weaved their way through the crowds, and Hunter found himself laughing despite the situation. Fae couldn't help but smile as well, the two of them enjoying the chase, being hunted by their inferiors. They could've easily survived a confrontation and killed off the mercenaries with little consequence, considering the group's lives could be summarized by asking to be killed. If anyone heard of their demise, they'd simply shrug and say 'Oh well.' But there was something amusing about running together, fleeing without a care in the world about being caught.

Even as their pursuers began to catch up, the adrenaline rush only made them more excited. Hunter nearly tripped because he was laughing and impeding his ability to run, but Fae tugged him forward and they continued at the same pace. They turned a corner and heard as the mercenary men made the turn a few seconds later.

"Cutting it close," Hunter mused as they ran.

"Let's cut it even closer," Fae suggested, not even out of breath by any means.

He released Hunter's hand and wrapped his arm around Hunter's waist. Hunter did his best to reciprocate before Fae threw his arm forward and his Io shot out to the top of the nearest building roof. They then stopped dead in their tracks as Fae pulled on the Io string - the Io somehow attaching to something that Hunter couldn't see. Their pursuers were caught off guard by the sudden stop and skidded to stop before they crashed into the pair, but a moment later, the two of them shot forward, the Io pulling them up through the air and to the roof of the building.

"Whoa!" Hunter screamed in surprise, but he ended up laughing like a maniac by the time they'd reached the peak of their trip.

They flew up above the building by a few meters and then came down again in a parabola flight path worthy of a ninth grade math class. Hunter stumbled on their landing, turning as he fell to land on his back and pulling Fae down on top of him.

"That was awesome," he exclaimed.

Fae took the opportunity to kiss Hunter before pulling them both to their feet and flicking his wrist for his Io to return to him. "Do you wish to do it once more?"

"Hell yeah."

They ran across the rooftop holding onto each other before leaping off the edge. Fae threw his Io out and it hooked onto the next building, tugging them up against gravity just as they were about to descend. Hunter whooped the entire way, shouting in delight just as when they had ridden Zoltan. On their second landing, Hunter managed to stay on his feet and Fae instantly detached his Io as they ran to the next building.

"This. Is. AWESOME!" Hunter screamed to the city below.

Fae might've been worried about them being seen together like this, but mundanes wouldn't believe the story about people actually using this method of transportation because it would normally kill anyone else because of the g-forces involved. The Io protected its master during stunts like this - as well as any passengers. No Downworlder would be able to tell they were a Shadowhunter and a faerie from the height and the speed they were moving. Considering the Io was a rare weapon to master, not a lot of people knew of its existence even in Faerie, nor how it worked even if they'd heard of the enchanted contraption. Hunter's glamour and Fae's magic naturally kept them hidden from cameras and such, so the mundane and Shadowhunter technology would be useless in gathering evidence. There'd be no reason for them to be questioned for the excursion, so there should be nothing to worry about.

Of course, he wasn't thinking too hard about the semantics while he was enjoying himself. He thought about most of these things after they had found the tallest building in the city and were relaxing on the roof together. According to Hunter, it was an expensive place and no thugs would even be allowed past the front door, let alone up to the roof where even regular civilians weren't allowed.

"I thought…they were intimidated by us," Hunter panted, lying beside Fae and smiling so much he was afraid his face would get permanently stuck that way. "Getting on the bad side of the Clave and the Hunt."

"Eliminating us would lower the risk of them being identified by either of our factions," Fae guessed. "Notice two of them weren't among our pursuers - the two with the wise decision of fleeing and avoiding conflict."

Hunter hummed in thought. "Makes sense. You sure they won't cause us trouble?"

"They know of my identity, however they would not dare accuse Gwyn of anything nor dare attempt to communicate with him for a simple complaint about one of his best warriors. As for you, they have methods of identifying Shadowhunters at targets, but should you preemptively report their interference in your mission, any complaints they bring to the Clave shall be treated no better than their complaints to the Hunt. Should they ever bring you trouble in the future, you will be forced to defend yourself in any number of dangerous situations. You may be ambushed at any moment and they have many ways of preparing for any situation. They'll take precautions to not be blamed for your murder - they kill for a living, they have a process, they  _always_  have a way-"

"Fae," Hunter interrupted. "I'll be fine. I never go out on patrol without a partner and solo missions like this one tonight are rare. I'll tell my friend and sister and they'll make sure we're prepared for anything." He kissed Fae lightly. "I'll be fine. Besides, we can't change the past. And if things hadn't happened the way they did, I wouldn't have learned what it was like to be Spider-Man."

Fae's brow crunched in confusion. " _What?_ "

Hunter frowned. "Oh, I suppose I shouldn't have tried using my new knowledge of superheros with you. I've been looking stuff up online. Lock told me about this universe with superheroes called Marve-something. Wolf said that I need to learn about something called 'Star Wars,' but he's told me there are a ton of movies, so I just looked up a version for kids and got this hilarious version with little brick people called Leg-O's. Like a cereal brand or something. There are all these creatures that I don't understand and can't even begin to remember. They've got names that resemble demons or something. I think there were E-Walkers, and Chewies."

Fae looked to the side. "The outside world seems quite…disturbing. Demons and faeries seem very tame by comparison."

Hunter laughed and snuggled up next to Fae. "Yeah. Learning about faeries is tons more fun because I get to do it with you. That's called a primary source right there, direct information right from a genuine source."

Fae gripped Hunter and looked up to the darkening sky in thought. Some stars were visible, though not many. "The stars. They become so dim when in this city."

"Light pollution. Another thing you nature fiends have above us - you can still see the sky's beauty."

"I was unaware light could pollute the air in such a way. Have you seen the sky in its truest form? You leave your Institute and this city, yes? Are there not locations you go without the tainting of illumination?"

Hunter shrugged. "I get around on  _some_  missions, I guess. I've seen pictures of a sky filled with starts, clear as can be. More stars than I ever knew could possibly fill the heavens. But these days, technology and pictures can be faked. The pictures and videos just looked too beautiful to be real."

Fae scowled and jumped to his feet. "Come, we must remedy this dire situation with haste."

"What? Whoa, wait!"

Fae pulled Hunter to his feet and to the edge of the rooftop. He put his fingers in his mouth, whistling for his steed. The horse appeared in a flash of lightning and Fae urged Hunter to jump with him once more.

"Let us go."

Hunter took Fae's hand and let the faerie guide him, trusting him as they jumped once more. They landed on the steed in the air, Hunter feeling another surge of danger and excitement all at once, wrapping his arms around Fae's waist. They slipped comfortably into place, as though that's where they belonged. His head slipped nicely onto Fae's shoulder at the crook of his neck and he could smell the faerie's campfire-like scent. Hunter loved the excuse to be so close, and Fae seemed just as content.

"Fae, where are we going?"

"A place to see the stars."

With that, he urged his horse onwards and they took off. Hunter would never get tired of the feeling of riding with Fae on Zoltan. There was no way to describe the surge of joy he got from the thrill of riding. He had requested lessons to ride a horse during certain missions as a Shadowhunter and got an approval, but his training hadn't started yet. He was gonna get his own horse! Then again, he didn't want to make Zoltan jealous. Angel knows what the mount could do to crush him to oblivion for thinking any other steed was superior.

But riding the magic horse was one thing. It was riding with Fae that made Hunter giddy with excitement. He loved the pressure of the speed that allowed him to grip Fae tightly. He loved the excuse to lean against Fae's warmth and hug him tightly, never wanting to let go. He rarely ever got the opportunity to be so close. Even when they were alone in the meeting grounds, a reason never came up to just hug him - not to mention the possibility of someone barging in and ruining things posed an issue; they had to be ready to move apart like nothing happened at a moment's notice.

When the horse slowed to a stop, Hunter looked around to see that they were in the middle of a desert.

"Look up," Fae ordered.

Hunter did so and saw the high sky filled with stars just like the pictures he'd seen, except now he felt like he was in a dome rather than simply looking on a small screen. Some were bigger, smaller, brighter, dimmer, and some were even different colors.

"Whoa…"

Fae smiled. "See that blue one there? They say that is an Astral Hydraean of the tides that crossed a Celestian of the stars."

Hunter looked to the faerie. "Who says that?"

Fae shrugged. "Storytellers. Every star has a story in faerie culture. The Astrals, basically the gods we believe in, are often the primary cause. To challenge the gods results in any number of consequences - transformation and imprisonment as creatures, flora, fauna, and lights in the sky. Of course, they are the more tame of punishments for blasphemers. However, some are not punishments. Some are gifts, eternity spent looking down upon the earth."

Hunter's eyes rose again. "Do you know the origins of every one?"

"Most, if not all, yes. There is a pattern of stars there, a constellation, if you will. That is said to be a man loved by a Ursidaen whose life was threatened in a fatal hunt. To save him, she gave him eternity in the stars. That one is the eternal punishment of a king who attempted to slay a disguised Draconian while he visited his kingdom. It was a test to see if the king was worthy of ruling the land, and he failed quite miserably. He attempted to poison the Astral during their meal, and then later had his servants attempt to assassinate him within the night as he slept."

Hunter smiled. "That's definitely bad hospitality, yes."

Zoltan whinied and paced beneath them.

"He wishes we dismount," Fae announced. The two of them slid off before the steed stormed away. "He is very hyperactive. My apologies."

Hunter shrugged. "No problem. As long as he comes back when we need him. I need to get back before midnight or they'll send someone after me."

"Night has just recently begun. Stay."

Hunter nodded. "Tell me more about the stars and your Astrals."

Fae looked up and pointed. He began explaining more of the stars and the people making up the constellations. He seemed almost excited to utilize and show off his knowledge. The two of them sat on the dirt beside each other as Fae gave his lesson. Hunter tried his best to listen, but there were so many stories and names that he couldn't even begin to try and pronounce that he stopped focusing and just listened to Fae's voice and his enthusiasm.

"-and that's Jupiter."

Hunter blinked out of his daze. After all of the fancy and magnificent stories Fae had gone on about, he abruptly used two words - one of them being a contraction at that - to summarize Jupiter.

"So, you faeries call it Jupiter too?"

"We call it 'Am Famhair Ruadh' - The Red Giant. But you humans call it Jupiter after the Roman god of thunder and the skies."

Hunter smiled. "So, what do you call a shooting star?"

"A wandering star. There are some who believe they are humans flying across the heavens because an Astral flung them. The myths revolve around a…' _pissed off_ ' deity."

Hunter chuckled. "Well, humans find the scientific answer, but we like to make wishes when we see them. We like to pretend that there's hope they'll come true."

"And for a shower of wandering stars? You wish upon every one?"

He shrugged. "No. We just make one big wish, enjoy watching meteor showers with our friends and family. Or so I've been informed. I've never seen one myself, but movies I've watched show that humans love to celebrate thing like that because they're so rare."

"Have you a wish you make?"

"No, not really. I never believed in stuff like that."

"Neither have I the trust in wishes."

"But hey. Even if wishing doesn't do us any good, miracles still come out of nowhere. A miracle brought me you when I needed it most. You don't need to wish directly for something, that usually doesn't work. I've learned that when you really need it, there's always hope."

"I lived within the mindset that my future was determined by Fate, and that Fate abhors me with a passion. It has given me joy, but I have fallen for a clear ruse."

"Ruse?"

"To be given any love means to have an inevitable loss as a caveat. I will live in fear of Fate despite my attempts to fight it." He smiled. "However, this challenge proves commendable. I will live with my fear so long as we fight it together."

Hunter leaned against Fae. "That's the spirit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we have stuff from the Shadowhunter Academy mixed in. Fun!


	9. Borders Let's Cross Over

Finn rode his horse, Arion, after the students from the Shadowhunter Academy he was assigned to look after. They were apparently supposed to be stopping faeries from slipping over the borders and engaging in illicit trade. Another task for the noobies to undertake, while actual trained Shadowhunters would be assigned to bail them out should anything go wrong. Finn had been brought in, along with a pretty girl that he learned was actually Isabelle Lightwood. He admitted that she was indeed beautiful, enough to draw the eye of most, be it men or woman, but Finn considered her a good friend and a worthy ally - especially considering she was already after one of the students that had formerly been her boyfriend before stuff happened during the war: Simon Lewis.

They were now watching as the kids crossed the large moor in Devon where the Fair Folk had last been scene. Finn, in reality, had wanted to volunteer for this mission because of the relation to the faeries. He now made a personal vow to seek out any faerie-related cases. In a way, it felt like he was now experienced with the fey since he was dating one - enough to have proper judgement on them without bias against. Besides, why turn down an opportunity to get some more practice riding a horse? Of course, Arion was nothing compared to Zoltan, but Arion was his personal steed assigned to him by some higher up in the Clave and whatnot for when he needed it. He was still powerful and made for combat situations, and Finn was bonding with him. Taking random rides to just run across a field seemed to be something they loved together.

"So, why did you volunteer to come?" Isabelle asked him.

"Hm? Oh, I just have interest in faeries, that's all."

"What kind of interest?"

"Not anything bad. I feel sorry for those caught in the crossfire after the Dark War, you know? People like Helen and Mark Blackthorn, but also any Fair Folk that weren't guilty of anything - either following another's orders or just not participating at all."

"Are you going to Helen and Aline Penhallow's wedding?"

"Yeah. Not that I could get out of it if I tried, my sister and my friend Selina would drag me there kicking and screaming if I refused, but I actually do wanna go. With all the crap that's going on, it's good to see that there's still hope for proper change and acceptance."

Isabelle smiled. "Good to see that there are more people out there willing to see things that way."

They followed the group at a distance, watching as the team leader, George, really just let his friends do as they wanted, riding a bit faster than him and Simon, who were talking and had apparently become good friends.

Finn was just starting to get bored when he heard one of the girls - Julie - shout "Faerie!"

A hooded and cloaked figure with a basket of fruit over one arm that emerged as if innocently from the mist behind a tree. Finn was instantly suspicious as to why the faerie would give his position away so easily, but the students were already charging in after him.

"Trap!" Marisol, one of the girls that had rode further ahead, shouted, before they heard an unmistakable scream of pain.

Finn now noticed that the faerie had reinforcements. They had all been warned the Fair Folk were all more wary and desperate in the aftermath of the Cold Peace. Dammit, these kids were supposed to be smarter than this. They should've planned, listened better, thought harder.

Marisol's arm was now bleeding heavily from elfshot. Jon Cartwright joined her instantly, jumping from his steed to hers, returning fire with his bow into the trees while standing on the horse's back, shielding Marisol like a strange bow-shooting acrobat. Julie and Beatriz, another of the girls, turned their horses toward the trees where the concealed faeries were firing. Finn and Isabelle were specifically ordered not to jump in unless things got life-threatening, and now that the group had recuperated, they would still be able to retreat.

George, meanwhile, the leader of the team, apparently found that since Jon had Marisol covered, they could still complete their task despite the impossible odds. He surged after the hooded figure, now crossing past a dazzling white line between the crooked arc of tree limbs - the border to Faerie. George's horse was inches from danger, George's hand reaching for the edge of the figure's cloak, heedless of the course he had placed himself upon.

" _No, George!_ " Simon shouted. "We are not going to trespass into Faerie!"

It happened almost faster than Finn could keep track of. Simon was so determined to stop George that he hadn't taken his mount into consideration, now terrified and fleeing and urged to speed. Simon and his horse disappeared into Faerie, the whinnies of his horse crying out as Simon was thrown off his steed, tumbling into the other world.

It was then that both Finn and Isabelle decided enough was enough. The two of them rode into the battle, Finn drawing his sword and calling "Mael!" as the blade flared to life. He swung the Seraph blade at any incoming arrows, while Isabelle did the same with her whip.

"Everyone retreat,  _now!_ " he demanded. George, still in shock from seeing Simon disappeared into Faerieland because of his recklessness, froze in horror, but Finn rode up, covering him and snapping the reins of his horse. "That was an order, George!"

George reluctantly retreated along with the others, Finn and Isabelle covering their escape. Finn wished that he had the kind of connection Fae had with his horse. Arion was a trained steed, but Finn knew that there was only so much the horse could do. It was all Finn could do to protect the mount from getting injured and leaving him stranded, but he bought enough time for the kids to get out of range before he and Isabelle turned and urged their horses to follow.

When the group got out of the danger zone, the kids all dismounted, tending the Marisol's wound and mulling about, brooding on their failure.

"George, you were in charge of this mission, and yet you seem to have the least amount of reasoning skills," Finn scolded. "Faeries are naturally cunning, but in these times you should've been even more wary of a trap."

George flinched, knowing his mistakes had caused them to loose Simon. "What's going to happen to him?"

Finn sighed. "Isabelle?"

She nodded, a fire in her eyes telling Finn everything he needed to know before she even opened her mouth. Who cared about getting ready for a wedding when there was a Simon to rescue? "We're going after him. You kids get back to the Academy."

"They'll be expecting a report from you, George," Finn said. "You…don't be too hard on yourself. You were ambushed in your search, you decided the best course of action was retreat when the faerie passed the border - you wouldn't trespass. Got it?"

George nodded.

Finn turned to Isabelle. "We should go on foot. They'll be expecting us to come back on horseback. If we want to slip in, we need to do it as silently as possible. The steeds would only prove to be liabilities."

She nodded. "Let's go."

* * *

Finn placed all of the runes for stealth, soundlesness, etc., following Isabelle through the forest of Faerie. Sneaking past the border had taken time, forcing them to take a large detour to avoid the archers they'd faced before. He and Isabelle were now a good 20 meters apart, barely in sight of each other, so that they wouldn't be caught together should someone find them.

Finn had been to Faerie only once or twice before, both each time with his family. He had been told of the location in detail, and he'd done his research, but there was never a way to be prepared for the odd details of the world surrounding him. Faerieland almost looked like the moors in Devon, yet it was entirely different. The mists in the distance were faintly purple, like storm clouds clinging to the earth, and there was movement in the cloud suggesting odd and menacing shapes all around. The leaves on the trees were green, yellow, and red like the trees of the mundane world, but they shone too brightly, like jewels, and when the wind rustled through them, Finn could almost make out words, as if they were whispering together. This was nature run riot, alchemized into magic and strangeness.

This was  _not_  a place for the faint of heart.

Isabelle was ahead of Finn, making hand gestures. She'd found him.

She put up three fingers - three faeries - but then put up to and signalled they were leaving. Finn went wide, looking over just in time to see two faeries with mismatched eyes speaking and a third with a cloak, the hood pulled back, standing beside Simon, awake and unharmed as far as Finn could see - even if he was inside of a cage. Finn instantly noticed the faerie with one gleaming-jet and one gleaming-silver eye. Eyes that looked near identical to Fae's. He had cobalt hair, the dark blue of evening before it became the black of night. Could that be Fae's brother? It was a long shot, but these were definitely faeries of the Wild Hunt, based on their eyes, their attire, the way they held themselves.

Upon closer investigation, Finn realized that the other faerie was Mark Blackthorn. There was no mistaking it - even if he was a little more battered and thinner than memories and pictures told Finn. He looked like a boy of sixteen, but he knew that a faerie's appearance was no indicator of their age. He had one eye that was amber as the beads found in the dark heart of trees, and one the vivid blue-green of sea shallows when sunlight strikes through. Finn had gotten used to staring at Fae's mismatched eyes, but looking at the jarring contrast of Mark's and the light of Faerie, filtered gree through wickedly whispering leaves and touched with false gold, made his thin, dirt-streaked face wear a sinister aspect.

Finn found himself wondering what Fae looked like when he was in his element like this. Something about imagining him, standing proud and tall within this chaotic land he called home with the dangerous world aiding in his terror-invoking persona, caused Finn to shudder. He wasn't afraid though. If anything, he was…intrigued.

Finn shook his thoughts away quickly. He did  _not_  need to be thinking about that kind of stuff now. If any of those faeries sensed his presence, no matter who they were, Finn would be in deep shit.

"I will go with you and explain myself to Gwyn," Mark was saying. He turned to look at Simon, his bicolored eyes unreadable, sea glass and bronze. "I will come back. Do not harm him," he told the third faerie with the cloak. "Give him water."

He nodded towards the third faerie, slight emphasis in the gesture, and nodded towards Simon - who nodded in return. It seemed that Mark and Simon had gotten along well enough. Simon had managed to convince Mark to at least not kill him, so that was a plus.

The boy with the same eyes as Fae had a grip on Mark, as though to keep a hold on him, turning him so that he was facing away from Simon and whispering something even Finn couldn't hear. Finn couldn't tell if the tight grasp of the Fae look-alike's hand was affection, anxiety, or a wish to imprison. It looked as though he didn't want to be so lenient with Simon and had a slight bit of power over Mark.

Then, the two of them whistled in the familiar way Finn knew from when Fae was summoning his steed. On the wind, as a shadow and a cloud, came a dark and a light horse swooping down for their riders. Mark leaped into the air and was gone in a flicker of darkness, with a cry of joy and challenge. Finn smiled. Reminded him of Fae, all right. Or maybe it reminded him of himself, riding upon the brilliant steed.

Fae's horse was still better, though.

The final faerie chuckled, the low sound creeping through the undergrowth. "Oh, I will give you water with pleasure."

He came over with a cup fashioned out of bark, filled to the brim with water that seemed to shine with light. Simon reached out through the bars and accepted the drink, but fumbled it and spilled half the water. Smart boy, remembering the number one rule to never accept food or drink from faeries.

The faerie cursed and caught the cup, holding it to Simon's lips and smiling a darkly encouraging smile. "There is still some left," he whispered. "You can drink. Drink."

Luckily, Simon knew that Mark hadn't meant him any harm by having the water offered to him. Mark had been nodding at the key dangling from one of the long sleeves of the faerie's cloak. Simon pretended to drink as the faerie smiled. He slipped the key into his gear, and when the faerie finally trotted away, Simon waited and counted the minutes until he thought the coast was clear.

Finn looked over to where Isabelle had been, but then realized she had disappeared.

"Dammit," he muttered.

He looked around, seeing as Simon slid his hand through the bars, slipping the key into the lock, and swung the cage door slowly open. Finally, Finn spotted Isabelle, stepping out of the whispering green trees, wearing a red velvet jacket and a long black lace dress that turned into transparent cobwebs around the knees, in boots and red gloves, graceful as a gazelle and intent as a tiger. Finn didn't understand how she could wear a dress during a mission like this, but then again, he may never understand how women did their thing - and he grew up with two of them.

Simon and Isabelle started talking - Simon a geeky mess with Isabelle despite the situation. The two of them started talking casually, Simon even acting all dramatic and in need of Isabelle's rescue despite him having already opened the cage door himself. Finn tapped his foot impatiently, keeping watch for any faeries that might return to see them. He silently urged them to hurry it up, but knew that going out there into the open with Isabelle was asking for an ambush to happen. And now Simon was quoting "Holding Out For a Hero," by Bonnie Tyler but Isabelle-style. Great.

Oh, for Heaven's sake, now she was getting  _into_  the cage with him so that they could start making out! Finn rolled his eyes, but then jumped as he heard the cage door swing shut, the faerie having returned. Dammit, Isabelle. Was this how stupid  _Finn_  acted when Fae was present?

The faerie convinced Isabelle to strip of her weapons in exchange for Simon's life - because that wasn't predictable at all - and Isabelle gave in, stone-faced the whole time. Isabelle, of course, was armed with a  _lot_  of weapons, and Finn noted that she skipped the knife on the inside of her left boot. Oh, and the long knife in the sheath at her back. Isabelle had many, many knives. Finn admitted that knives were the most useful form of weapon, for stabbing at close range and throwing for long (if you could throw them straight, that is).

"It will not be long until you need water to live, pretty bird," the faerie said. "I can wait."

He shimmered away and Isabelle collapsed at the bottom of the cage as if her strings had been cut. She put her face in her hands in humiliation. Well, at least she knew her mistake and would learn from it. Of course Isabelle had secured the key before she'd ever stepped into the cage. After Isabelle wallowed in her regrets of what love made her into, she got them out of the cage and retrieved her weapons and stele from where they were lying in the dirt.

Finn ushered them away, out of the open and into the faerie forest. "Close call, Isabelle."

"I knew what I was doing," she said confidently.

"H-How long were you watching?" Simon asked nervously.

"Long enough to want to dive off a cliff if it meant getting away," Finn muttered. "Anyway, nice job with the fake out. No doubt that guy would've been prepared for a rescue party, so letting him think Isabelle had failed will buy us some time. Let's move it."

They were only a few steps into the faerie forest when a shadow swooped down and upon them. Isabelle went for her knives and Finn already had his drawn, but it was only Mark.

"You have not escaped yet?" Mark demanded, looking haried. "And you stopped to acquire a paramour?"

"What are you doing here?!" a voice snapped.

Another faerie dropped out of the trees beside Mark, his agitated maroon hair recognizable to Finn instantly.

"Fae?"

The mismatched black and silver eyes glared at him, before he suddenly felt a stinging smack to his right cheek. "Idiot. Were you so foolish as to come to this place in the hopes that we would meet? Stop dawlding. Miach should've ensured your departure by now, along with your little friends."

Finn rubbed his face, still in shock from Fae's sudden harsh demeanor. Fae had always been gentle with Finn as Hunter - a boy who he'd found on the verge of taking his life long ago. Now, in his home, Fae was a faerie of the Wild Hunt. He was ruthless to his enemies, and even more ruthless to his allies.

"Mark Blackthorn?" Isabelle asked, having recognized him now. She must've been moving around the forest during the earlier encounter, waiting for the faeries to retreat, and so she hadn't gotten a good look at him.

"Isabelle Lightwood," Mark noted, mimicking her tone of voice.

"We met earlier," Simon said. "He helped me get that key."

"Oh now," said Mark, tilting his head in a birdlike movement. "It was no uneven bargain. You gave me some very interesting information about the Shadowhunters, and the great loyalty they have shown one of their own."

"I could have told you such information," Fae muttered. "Were the Clave searching for you, we'd have long since met their advances."

Isabelle's back straightened as it did at any challenge, black hair flying like a flag as she took a step towards him. "You have been done a terrible wrong. I know you are a true Shadowhunter."

Mark took a step back. "Do you?" he asked softly.

"For what it's worth, I disagree with the Clave's decision."

"That's the Clave, isn't it? I mean, I like Jia Penhallow okay, and it's not that I…dislike your dad," Simon, who did not actually like Robert Lightwood, said awkwardly. "But the Clave, basically assholes, am I right? We all know that."

Isabelle held her hand out, palm down, and rocked it back and forth in a gesture that said, ' _You've got a point, but I refuse to agree with it out loud._ ' Fae seemed to stare at it for a moment before looking to the side and having it click that he must've been taught the gesture before - probably from Lock. Finn smiled. Still the Fae he knew and loved.

Mark laughed. "Yeah," he said, and he sounded a little more sane, a little more human, as if the laugh had grounded him somehow. There was an accent to his words that made Finn think not  _faerie_ , but L.A.  _boy_. "Basically assholes."

There was a rustle in the trees, a rising of the wind. Finn thought he could hear laughter and calling voices, hoofbeats upon the cloud and the currents of the air, the baying of hounds. The sounds of a hunt, the Hunt, the most remorseless hunt in this or any world. Faint, but not far enough away, and coming closer.

"You must leave, now," Fae said firmly.

"Come with us, Mark," Isabelle said suddenly. "Whatever price there is to be paid, I will pay it."

"We didn't technically  _look_  for you purposefully, we found you by accident," Finn agreed. "The Clave said we weren't to seek you out specifically, but if we just happened to stumble across you, we can play that to our favor."

Fae stepped forward and shoved Hunter back. "Do not start encouraging such things. Have you even considered the consequences of such a decision?"

"F-"

The faerie stepped forward and Finn suddenly found himself in a chokehold, pushed up against a tree and struggling to breathe, facing down Fae's cold heterochromic eyes. "You are to leave Faerie and never return. Else you shall be tortured in unimaginable ways and slain with no hope of rescue. Understand?"

Finn couldn't do anything but try to nod. Fae finally released him and he gasped, taking in much-needed air. He vaguely processed Isabelle arguing with Fae, while Fae calmly spoke back, before Mark put his hand on Fae's shoulder and got him to back away.

"What do you think would happen if I did?" Mark asked. "I would go home…home…and the Wild Hunt would follow me there. Do you imagine I have not dreamed of running home a thousand times? Every time, I see gentle Julian pierced with the spears of the Wild Hunt. I see little Dru and baby Tavvy ridden down. I see my Ty, ripped apart by their hounds. I cannot go until there is some way to go to them without bringing destruction down on them. I will not go. You go, and go fast."

"We would destroy his family, and this time it would be more than a mere illusion," Fae agreed. "It is better they are alive and apart than together before they perish. Now do as he commands and flee. Flee and never return, lest you find we are not so lenient."

"Come on, guys," Simon urged.

He pulled the two of them backward, towards the trees. Isabelle's eyes remained on Mark, and Finn's locked onto Fae, but eventually they let Simon draw the two of them away into concealing leaves as more faerie horses hurtled down, lightning amid the trees, shadows against the sun.

"What trouble are you causing now, Shadowhunter?" asked a faerie on a roan horse, laughing as the steed whirled. "What is this word of more of your kind?"

"No word," said Mark.

There were more horses joining the roan, more and more of the Wild Hunt. The faerie with Fae's eyes was among them, a white silent presence. The faerie on the roan turned his horse towards the place where Finn, Simon, and Isabelle stood, the roan sniffing the air like a dog.

The rider pointed. "Why do I spy Shadowhunters, then, in our land and answerable to us? Should I ask them what they are about?"

He rode forward, but he did not make it far. He was wearing a cloak embroidered with silver, showing the constellations, the silver enchanted to move as though time were sped up and the planets spun fast enough for the eye to see. His horse whinnied in panic, stopping short as its rider almost fell, when his beautiful silvery cloak was suddenly pinned to a tree by a well-placed arrow and the horse itself was whipped by an Io.

Mark lowered his bow. "I see nothing," he said, pronouncing the lie with a certain satisfaction. "And nothing should go - now."

"Oh, boy, you will pay for this," hissed the rider on the roan.

Fae swung his Io in preparation, spinning it around as the string lengthened, shimmering with power. "Please, do indulge me."

The horses and the riders shrieked like pterodactyls, circling the two of them, but Mark Blackthorn of the Los Angeles Institute and Fae of the Wild Hunt stood their ground.

"Run!" Mark shouted. "Get home safe! Tell the Clave that I have saved more Shadowhunter lives, that I will be a Shadowhunter and be damned to them, that I will be a faerie and curse them! And tell my family that I love them, I love them, and I will never forget. One day I will go home."

The three of them ran.

* * *

Finn watched as Simon's friends all swarmed him when they appeared on the grounds of the Academy. Marisol was in the infirmary, taking advantage of the fact that mundanes can't be healed with runes and having Jon waiting on her hand and foot. According to Beatriz, she wasn't sure if Jon was more terrified of how fragile mundanes were, or the fact that Marisol kept threatening to explain X-ray machines to him.

Finn wasn't sure if he wanted to know about them either.

George apologized a million times, but Simon never blamed him in the first place. Now settling the issue of Simon's capture, it was time for a wedding.

Finn got dragged off my Merida and Selina to go dress shopping - because why wouldn't a girl take the opportunity to get a new dress? (Finn didn't understand them, even now) - and he was so caught up in his worry over Fae that he went without resistance. The two of them went around a mundane shop doing girl stuff, while Finn just found the nearest seat where he could still keep an eye on them and sulked in his solemn thoughts.

If Fae had given him any indication, the punishments for doing something so rash and bold were ranging anywhere from whippings to dismemberment. What if Fae wasn't ever allowed to leave the Hunt again? What if he could never see them, see  _Finn?_  What kind of consequences would Finn's carelessness have brought upon Fae? Sure, maybe it was Simon and Isabelle that had stalled and caused them to stay for a few minutes too long, but Finn wouldn't go so far as to blame them. Finn could've encouraged them to move, he could've kept his mouth shut and listened to Fae's warnings. If they had left and not wasted time talking, maybe all of this could've been avoided.

"Finn, get your head out of the clouds," Merida ordered.

He sighed. "Sorry, Mer. What were we talking about?"

Selina rolled her eyes. "Keep your head in the game. Let's move it."

"You're done already?"

"Yeah, and you've been sitting there for ages. You are such a buzzkill sometimes. Wedding now, brooding later."

Finn was taken to the wedding, where wedding chaos ensued. There were, in fact, many flowers. Finn wasn't sure why, but apparently flowers were essential to any wedding. He split off from Merida and Selina to try and find a quiet place to get away from the crowds of people, but ended up running into a girl with a crown of blonde hair. He blinked and realized that he'd run into Emma Carstairs, her light hair standing about among the dark-haired Blackthorns like a daffodil in a bed of pansies.

"Sorry," Finn apologized quickly and scampered off.

He watched as the large family interacted, Julian, the oldest of the Blackthorns if Mark and Helen weren't included, was somehow taking care of his four other siblings all at once and politely refusing any help, not to mention there was Emma who was just as close to them as anyone else. Finn had heard that Emma and Julian were going to become parabatai, but there was something about their interactions that seemed…different than a parabatai pair. Perhaps it was just Finn, but they looked more like a romantic couple than parabatai. But that was just him. It wasn't like he was experienced with his own love life by any means, let alone having the right to judge another's.

Man, the Blackthorns were a big family. But at the same time, it was nice to see such a large loving group. If only Helen and Mark could be a part of the family dynamic.

Finn knew a little about Shadowhunter weddings. There were lots of things in the Law about who you could and couldn't marry. If you married a mundane that didn't Ascend, you got your runes stripped and got the boot. You could marry a Downworlder in a mundane or a Downworlder ceremony, and you wouldn't be kicked out, but everyone would be embarrassed and your family would most likely treat you like you were a disgrace, and a lot of people would act like the marriage didn't count. Plus with the Cold Peace in play, any Shadowhunter wanting to marry a faerie was out of the question.

But Helen Blackthorn was a Shadowhunter, by their own Law, no matter how many people might despise or distrust her for her faerie blood. And Shadowhunters hadn't actually built into their precious Law that Shadowhunters couldn't marry someone of the same sex, possibly because it hadn't occurred to anyone even as an option way back when. Lock had explained there were lots of rules that the Shadowhunters had neglected simply because it was too absurd at the time or because the details weren't all taken into account. So Helen and Aline could actually be married, in a full Shadowhunter ceremony, in the eyes of both their family and their world.

Helen would now officially be a part of Aline's family, and Aline's chosen suggenes, Jia Penhallow - Consul and most important member of the Clave - was giving her daughter to the tainted, scandalous Blackthorns and receiving Helen in turn. Aline'd had some nerve suggesting it; Jia'd had some nerve agreeing to it. But Finn supposed that the Clave had already effectively exiled Jia's daughter, what more could they do to her? And how better to politely spit in their eye than to say: Helen, the faerie girl you spat on and sent away, is now as good as the Consul's daughter.

Julian was the one giving away Helen, standing in his gold-inscribed clothes, his sister on his arm, and his sea-in-the-sunlight eyes shining as if he was happy as any kid could be. As though he had not a care in the world. Helen and Aline were both in golden dresses, both beaming, their faces outshining their gowns.

Finn smiled as he watched them place the marriage runes over each other's hearts and arms. Sure, circumstances were special since Helen was part Shadowhunter and had long since been one even before the Dark War, but there was definitely hope for change when it came to Downworlders and especially faeries. Helen and Aline's marriage wasn't something anyone should brush off. Everything was going to change for the Shadowhunters. For all of them. It had to.

Finn knew that something like this couldn't happen for him and Fae, obviously. Fae wasn't part Shadowhunter like Helen, and even if he were, Fae was raised as a faerie. Wait, he was  _not_  thinking about marrying right now, let alone, marrying Fae. Not the time. Fae could be taking any amount of torture at the moment. Now Finn was thinking about that. Darn it.

He took a deep breath and smiled, focusing on the happy moments and celebrating Helen and Aline's wedding.

The moment he got home, he went to the meeting grounds and called out for Fae. The others appeared and Hunter explained what happened. Fae didn't come that night. He didn't come the next. A week passed. Then another. And another. Fae never showed up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title inspiration: Sunleth Waterscape from Final Fantasy 13
> 
> (And yes I know that there are multiple versions of the song, but I like both of them equally).


	10. There Was A Time When I Was Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I forgot to update. I've been flooded with work from school and overwhelmed with homework that takes five times as long as usual because I'm also looking after my puppy at the same time.
> 
> I have to also work on a new part that Amalspach recommended I add in. Though everything is pre-written, there is never enough editing to be done and extra parts to add.
> 
> But I swear I'm going to get to the actual plot that I have planned soon. Eventually. I have it planned and have started. It's just that getting there is where I kinda…overdo it. I will try to have it done.

Veon let his green scales flash. The little blue warlock in his arms cooed in surprise, laughing and clapping happily. "Fashy!"

Veon chuckled. "Yup. I'm flashy, little blueberry."

"Thanks for doing this, Veon."

Veon looked up, still playing with Max's hands and flashing his scales. "No problem, Magnus. After all, you tolerated me when I was his age. Besides, why would I pass up the opportunity to hang out with my cool baby brother?"

Magnus chuckled. "Well, I suppose you'd be more of an uncle, considering you're 300 years older."

"Well, once he reaches 20 or so, he'll be my official brother one way or another. After that, age barely matters, does it, Max?"

He played with Max's little hands and the baby giggled in response.

Magnus's phone beeped and he glanced at it for a moment before shoving it in his pocket. "Gotta go. Don't let him hurt himself. And don't ruin the loft please. And don't forget to feed him. And change him. And remember to burp him afterwards. And all his toys are in the chest in his room. And the TV channels for him are on a sticky note in the living room. And-"

"I've got this Magnus, I promise. 300 years and you think I haven't ever dealt with a baby before? We're gonna be good friends, right Max?"

The baby laughed and ran his little hands along Veon's arm. He let his scales flicker again, making Max cry out in joy.

"I'll be back in a couple hours," Magnus said. "Thanks again."

It took another round of nervous goodbyes and reminders of how to take care of Max before Magnus finally opened a portal and left.

"Okay little one, what do you wanna do?" Veon asked.

He had been given all of Max's toys and joined him on the floor. Max liked playing with the trucks and cars, rolling them around with vrooming noises and making the little toy people walk around. He made little cooing noises and Veon assumed that Max was imagining them talking in his little baby language. Veon loved babysitting for Magnus when he and Alec had their work - not that the rest of Alec's family wasn't happy to volunteer as well.

Veon sighed as he remembered growing up with Magnus. He knew that the cat-eyed warlock was a good parent. Watching Max play, Veon began talking without even thinking about it. To fill the silence.

"You wanna hear how Magnus found  _me?_  It wasn't as pretty as it was with you, little blueberry. I was a little bit older. You're lucky. You were dropped off at the Shadowhunter Academy, you were found by the most amazing parents you could've possible found. Me? My mother didn't react to realizing she had a warlock baby so graciously. At least your parent - whoever they were - tried to raise you for just a little while. My father dumped me in the sewers, horrified at the child the demon he'd met had given to him. In turn, I grew up there, like a wild animal until Magnus finally found me one day."

- ** _TFOT_** -

_Veon - though he hadn't been called Zytaveon at the time - crawled through the tunnels. While others got lost within the endless winding of the tunnels, he knew the paths by heart after all these years. There was another guest at the entrance. Should he scare them away or lead them to be food?_

_Veon moved to the entrance of the tunnels, where he saw his next target._

_Veon had never encountered anything he couldn't fight or outrun so that his enemies got lost within the endless winding tunnels. He'd fought mundanes, werewolves, and vampires alike, and it wasn't as though he hadn't met warlocks before, just none that dared to do what this one did._

_Veon remembered seeing cat eyes. He remember the moment he realized this man was like him, unable to fit in and seen as nothing but a monster to the rest of the world. Veon wondered if he should ask the man to join him, but he fled instead. Veon didn't regret letting him go, but he was genuinely surprised when the cat-eyed warlock returned._

_He brought food. Veon remembered the times that he brought things Veon didn't like, the struggle to understand each other when Veon had never learned any language in the first place to be translated through any spell. But Veon learned._

_Veon made a friend._

" _You wanna go out there?"_

_Magnus had pointed out to the entrance._

_Veon understood what Magnus was asking, and shook his head in the gesture that he'd learned meant 'No.' Magnus understood and didn't ask until a month has passed. Veon had said no again, but admittedly his curiosity was growing. By the third month, he said yes._

_Magnus taught him how to glamour himself, and Veon had never been so scared yet relieved when people didn't run from him screaming. Magnus tried to explain everything to Veon, but there was so much that he didn't know, that he wanted to learn._

_Magnus was Veon's savior; Veon looked up to him for everything. He learned about human clothes, how mundanes spoke, how they worked jobs, how they had wants and needs that rare ones came to warlocks for help, and how Magnus used this fact to make a profit. Being a warlock had never been so fun, so amazing._

_And so began the transformation from an abandoned child monster in the sewers to a civilized, glitter-bombed, eccentric, and kind warlock that had taken many under his wing as Magnus once did._

_This warlock then met a Shadowhunter who confused him beyond measure, who he wanted desperately to help. But he failed. Veon failed and he never forgot._

_So when Fae brought another Shadowhunter that reminded him so much of the one he'd lost decades before, he was determined to make sure he never let this boy go again._

- _ **TFOT**_ -

"So, what do you think? Did I turn out okay?"

Max went "Vroom!" and shoved his toy truck into the building block homes that Veon had made. Veon doubted that the blue boy had heard a word that he'd said, nor cared to process any of it either.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Veon's watched beeped and he tapped the small screen (modern human technology was wonderful).

"Time for food, blueberry."

Veon wasn't unfamiliar with feeding babies - he'd saved his own fair share of warlocks as a sort of personal mission to do for others what Magnus did for him. As such, he was an expert with feeding Max as the baby hummed contently in his arms.

"I bet you're gonna grow horns. A friend of mine was green and  _he_  grew horns. I also knew a red one who had horns too. People always called him the devil. He wasn't a devil though, he was nice considering  _I_  raised him to be good and not listen to mean people. If mean people give you a hard time for being blue, you just come to uncle Veon and I'll rough them up."

Max blinked in confusion.

"Nevermind. You better not tell your Papa I said that, or he'll be mad. Your Daddy? Well…Alec's pretty nice. He's gonna be the nice parent and your Papa will probably be a little stricter since he knows how warlocks work and how to raise them. But he has a serious sweet spot for your Daddy and he won't hold out long. You just gotta master the innocent puppy-dog eyes. Can you do that? I'll teach you how to do that one day."

It was then, rambling on to Max, that Lock suddenly heard Fae's voice, coming from the meeting grounds.

" _ **Lock, it's Fae. Please come. Bring it.**_ "

Veon looked at the calendar and cursed under his breath, hoping Max didn't hear it. "It's not scheduled for today. This has gotta be serious. We've gotta go on an errand, little blueberry. Wanna come with me?"

"Fashy," Max declared.

Veon took that as a yes and opened a portal back to his own place, sifting through his shelf of potions with one hand and Max in his other.

"Fashy."

Max reached out a grabbed one of the potions that was sparkling, but Veon quickly snatched it up. "No, Max. This stuff drains demonic power. Not good for a little warlock."

"Fashy?" Max begged.

Veon sighed, putting the potion back on the shelf and grabbing what he needed, before taking Max to his room and opening a chest. He dug around with one hand before giving Max a little dinosaur plushie that had scales matching Veon's - with the ability to flash just like his if the owner had magic to feed into it.

"See? Flashy. Your papa gave this to me when I was your age. I didn't like being flashy, so he gave me a friend so that I wasn't alone."

Max stared at the glowing dinosaur, taking it with enthusiasm, but when Veon released it, the toy stopped glowing. Max frowned and shook it before it started glowing from the angry baby warlock's magic coming out. Max giggled and started to get the hang of turning his magic on and off. If Magnus had told him anything close to the truth, that's how Veon was too when he'd gotten the dinosaur as a baby.

Veon opened a portal to the meeting grounds, where he found Fae leaning against the wall. He noticed that Fae was barely staying upright, his breaths heavy and his skin pale.

"What happened to you?" Veon asked.

"Little of import at present," Fae insisted, his voice strained. "I consumed more magic than I had intended. My apologies for this sudden incursion of your time. It seems you have a child with you."

"Oh, this is Magnus's son, Max. I'm babysitting while the two of them do their thing."

Fae's brow creased in confusion. "You sit…as a baby would? Or do you have the baby sit while you supervise?"

"Close. It's just a term that means looking after the child while the parents attend to other matters. You don't just sit there, you have to entertain them. But I think Max likes you."

The little blue boy was squirming in Veon's arms, reaching out for Fae. He made little cooing noises, as though trying to come up with the words but begging to get to Fae in any way possible. Fae sighed, but his face softened and he reached out for Max.

When Veon gave a cautious look, Fae sighed. "I've raised my brother, do you not recall? His youth held my kindness and tender care. I would not risk his life, nor shall I risk this one's."

Veon looked to the side in consideration, but Fae  _did_  have a point. And the faerie couldn't lie, so if he said he had no intentions of allowing Max to come to harm, Veon had little reason to doubt his old friend. He carefully set Max in Fae's arms and Fae smiled at the boy's blue skin and poked his tiny horns.

"Hello little nixie-like warlock. I'm am a faerie."

Max stuck his hand into Fae's colored hair and pulled.

Fae simply chuckled. "That's right, it changes colors."

His hair shifted from an dark merlot to a light amber. Max giggled and held out his dinosaur, making it glow green.

"It looks like Lock, doesn't it?"

"Yock," Max repeated.

Fae chuckled in a light way that even Lock had seldom seen before. "You are young and innocent. You must enjoy such a feeling while it remains. One's ignorance can be a blessing of childhood."

Max became engrossed with his toy, and Fae relinquished him back to Lock in return for the potion Lock had made for him. Fae pulled off the cork and drank the entire thing in one go, feeling his strength return to him and his magic strengthening. He stood up straighter now on steady feet, his complexion improving to its normal state, but he was still stiff from injuries that he refused to heal himself. Lock noticed he had cuts all along his body, some big, some small, but a good deal of them were sealed thank to Fae's enhanced healing. Still, Lock wondered what Fae went through to get cut up so much and have to use up his magic. Power rippled across Fae's body, almost making it seem like he was growing taller.

"Thank you, Lock. I must take my leave now. I have risked much to even come here for the few moments that I have."

"No problem, Fae. You get into trouble or something?"

"Ask our Hunter for semantics. I fear I will face more for my actions should I be found coming here. Farewell."

He took off on his horse and Lock teleported back to Magnus's loft. He continued to play with Max, building a little city out of blocks that Max destroyed with his dinosaur. Veon laughed and helped wave the block city back into place with his green magic so that Max could continue. Just because Alec didn't like  _Magnus_  using magic to spoil Max didn't mean that Veon couldn't be the cool brother that could. Veon spent the rest of the afternoon babysitting Max, having the little warlock fall asleep in his arms, drooling on his dinosaur (which he had now named Yock, apparently) after he was fed and watching kids' TV.

Little did he know that once he'd returned the blue boy to his fathers and headed to the meeting grounds, he'd hear Hunter's story and figure out what Fae had gone through. He'd taken on at least half of the Wild Hunt along with Mark. Even though Lock had confidence that Fae would be able to handle himself even against such odds, he would be punished for letting Hunter, Isabelle, and Simon go free - for being so bold as to fight the Hunt to let them escape.

Then Fae didn't return, day after day.

* * *

Fae had the week off. And he. Was. BORED.

Gwyn had him and Mark each receive 30 whip-lashes for their crimes. They had not only conspired with Shadowhunters, allowed their escape, but they had injured and disgraced many of the other members of the Hunt in the battle that had ensued.

Fionn had taken all 60.

Now, to add insult to injury (as Lock would say) Fionn was forbidden to do anything except rest and recover - no hunts, no exercise, by the gods, he wasn't even allowed to stand up! To others, such a reprieve would be welcome, but for Fionn, he needed to be active, he needed to run free, he needed something to keep him from his thoughts. All his life he'd lived knowing his harsh situation, the pain and humiliation he endured day by day. The only way to prevent madness was to have a task to accomplish, a distraction that wiped away his insidious brain's thought process.

Now, he laid in his shelter staring at the cloak placed above him, listening to the storm raging outside. Mark Blackthorn had been surprised when Fionn volunteered to take his punishment, but despite Fionn's treatment of the boy, he  _did_  care enough to help him. Besides, Fionn had harmed more faeries than Mark had in the squabble. When Fionn got into a battle, he found great pleasure in laying his enemies low. An excuse to fight so many warriors of the Hunt was entertaining to Fionn, and he'd reveled in striking many down. He fully admitted this, provoking him to be allowed to take the recompense for his actions as well as Mark's. Now, each time Fionn saw Mark, he saw the boy's hesitant gaze. Perhaps the half-breed wished to find a way to show his thanks; perhaps he was still unsure of Fionn's reasoning for aiding him.

Fionn couldn't stop the flow of guilt flowing through him, despite the pain in his back that made most of his body numb. He had shown Hunter the side of him he never wished the boy to see. In Faerie, Fionn was a merciless member of the Wild Hunt. Even if he wished to help, he did so in a very forceful way and never showed his affections. He'd snapped at Hunter, he'd slapped him, choked, threatened him and his life, all in his desperation to make them flee this land and never come back. He didn't want Hunter to know the pain of Faerieland and the danger of the Wild Hunt's cruelty.

But now he couldn't shake the feeling that he had actually harmed Hunter, that he had scared him, that he had ruined everything between them. Hunter was fragile. Fionn only ever wanted to protect those he cared for, but he'd never been able to do that without force and cruelty. That's why he had taken Hunter to Lock in the first place. Who was he kidding? He couldn't love anyone, least of all someone as delicate as Hunter.

Fionn threw a rock as hard as he could, feeling his aching muscles at the movement, but it was nothing in comparison to the pain in his chest when he realized this truth. He couldn't dance around the fact that Hunter wasn't a faerie, he wasn't as strong as one, as resilient, and was far more prone to pain. Fionn could never be compatible with him. Not without snapping the boy like a twig the moment he slipped up.

Fionn wanted to cry, but he stared up at the cloth above him and held back the tears. He didn't cry anymore. He hadn't cried since the day he'd lost his mother, the final day he allowed himself to break down. The thought of losing Hunter squeezed him from the inside, nearly worse than losing his mom all those years ago - and that was saying a lot. But he would not cry now.

At least he wasn't killing Hunter, at least he wasn't forced to put a blade through his chest.

Still, when Fionn woke up the next day - unaware that he had fallen asleep at all - his lips tasted faintly of salt.

* * *

Hunter was juggling. Not a good sign.

"Is there a protocol for when Shadowhunters start juggling?" Wolf murmured.

"If there is, I have yet to encounter it," Lock said, raising an eyebrow.

"I think it's cool," Pyre said. "I say we just leave him."

Hunter was currently tossing five knives around, up and down and he wasn't even looking at them, staring at the wall beyond. Hunter seemed to find solace in keeping his hands busy, which apparently translated to juggling knives. Because if there's one thing a Shadowhunter has in abundance, it's knives.

"Anyone wanna talk to him?" Lock asked.

"I am not touching that kid with a 39 and a half foot pole," Wolf declared. "You know how Shadowhunters are when they get agitated. I'm pretty sure he'd shank me in a heartbeat if I startled him out of his daze."

"Well, at least you've got enough brain capacity to realize  _that_ ," Pyre sneered. Wolf looked ready to make a retort, but Pyre continued. "I'm worried about the kid. He's kicking himself to the curb cuz he thinks what happened to Fae is all his fault."

"Well, think about it," Lock said. "Even if Isabelle and Simon held a little fault, Hunter thinks of everything he could've done to get them to leave before the Hunt had returned. If he had just been a little faster or a little more insistent."

"Are you  _blaming_  him?" Wolf growled.

It was times likes these that Wolf and Pyre's protectiveness over Hunter showed. Both of them were as thick-skulled as Shadowhunters, but they knew where their loyalties laid when push came to shove, no matter what they said otherwise.

"I'm just seeing things from his perspective," Lock said. "Only once we see where he's coming from, do we have the right to try and help him. We should probably consider Fae's side of the story too. According to Hunter, Fae threatened him to try and get him to leave. Fae may not be coming back because he's afraid of facing Hunter after showing the faerie side of himself."

"Well, he may be timid, but Hunter's still a Shadowhunter," Pyre pointed out. "He sucks up blame like a vacuum and takes the guilt for everything. I bet he doesn't even know Fae's scared to face him."

"Fae's never one to run from an encounter, though. He'll suck up his pride and fears to face Hunter no matter how hard it is for him. The only question is if he's injured and how long it'll take him to get back on his feet with enough freedom to meet us. The Hunt is probably keeping a close eye on him after what he did. Until then, we can't really do anything about Hunter."

"The only person who can reassure him is Fae," Wolf agreed. "Lock, can you get an update on his status?"

"No. Fae has always come to me ever since we met - his horse teleports so no need for a portal. Besides, the Wild Hunt is always moving, Faerieland is everywhere and nowhere. Even warlock magic can be dodgy when trying to get anything, even just information, in or out."

He sighed. "So all we can do is wait."

"And keep the kid from killing himself," Pyre added. "Seems easy enough. We can just let Lock do most of the work."

"Thanks, you're such a great friend," Lock muttered sarcastically.

"You are very welcome."

* * *

Hunter was terrified.

He wasn't able to think properly, he didn't want to hear what anyone had to say, and he didn't want to explain to any bone heads that didn't understand. He couldn't focus properly on his missions, nearly taking out the wrong guy once and nearly letting the guilty party walk past him another.

He tried playing his music, but he couldn't focus on the chords, he couldn't relax into the rhythm or get lost in the beat. His hands were shaking from his nerves, and so he did what he always did when his emotions started getting the best of him - he started juggling knives. His hands became distracted and his concentration only slightly so.

It had been 23 days. 561 hours, 47 minutes, since he had last seen Fae. Finn had calculated - anything to get his mind off of his guilt. Finn's parabatai ceremony would be soon. He should be preparing, but he just couldn't.

He'd already chosen Merida as his witness for the ceremony and Selina was tasked with choosing a second. Selina had drilled him on the paragraph of lines for the oath they had to read to each other, standing in circles of flame. His sister and Selina had noticed his depressed state and have watched him like a hawk - afraid another incident might happen where he'd toss himself off a building.

He had chuckled at Merida. "I'm not sad like  _that_ , Mer."

"Did something happen with your DW friends?"

"I just made a mistake. I think I got one of them in trouble, punished because of my negligence. They haven't been able to make it to the meeting grounds in weeks, Merida. None of us know what happened, and it's all my fault!"

"Come on, Finn. Maybe nothing happened. Maybe they're only being watched closely and can't risk seeing you."

"But what if that's not the only punishment? I fucked up, Mer! I should've been on guard, I should've listened to what he told me to do, I should've insisted we get out of there before he got in trouble and had to cover for us. I could've avoided all of this, but now he could be…what if he's dead, Merida?!"

"Okay, look, I don't know who this is, but blaming yourself isn't gonna help this guy, right? You need to calm down and cheer up, all right?"

"What will cheering up do?"

"It'll put you in a better state of mind. If you can start picturing a brighter future, you can come up with better ideas. Maybe you can find a way to help. If you have time to feel sorry for yourself, then you have time to fix your mistakes. If you feel so bad, find a way to make amends. No matter how complicated it is, there's always a way, brother. Go and talk to your friends. I'm sure the rest of you can muster your combined 17 brain cells and come up with a plan."

Hunter tried to calm, he really did, but that involved juggling knives. He knew the others were talking about him, but he didn't really care.

It was only when he heard the booming of thunder and the clopping of hooves that Finn's concentration broke and his knives clanged to the ground. A familiar red-haired faerie carefully dismounted his steed, the horse pacing beside him protectively. Fae's hair flickered to a blood-red as he climbed off, but lightened to a warm honey color once he was on the ground.

"Fae!" everyone exclaimed.

"It appears I am the cause of great perturbation among you, my friends," Fae said in his high and mighty faerie tone that Hunter found annoying and relieving at the same time. Same old Fae. "I have not an excuse for prolonging my return barring my concern for-"

"Fae!"

Hunter tackled Fae in a bone-crushing hug. Fae's hair flashed bright red in shock and then darkened to maroon as Fae grunted in pain. "My…my Hunter, r…release me…" he wheezed/choked.

Hunter let go instantly and pulled back as though he was afraid touching Fae would kill him. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Fae…!"

Hunter broke out into sobs as he fell to the tunnel floor. Fae's hair slowly lightened again, but stopped at orange as he tilted his head in concern. "Hunter, why do you apologize?"

"I'm sorry I was…I was careless," he managed "I'm sorry you had to…to…I'm so sorry…"

Fae sighed and kneeled, careful to keep his torso from slouching or moving in any way. He carefully began to remove his shirt, grunting as he used his arm to pull it up and over his head, causing his upper back to shift. His hair reflected the spikes of pain he went through, flaring to a darker color before slowly fading to a warmer once the agony subsided.

Fae snaked one hand around to his back before coming back with bloodied fingers. He sighed. "It would seem I require more medical aid. You have broken my stitches."

Hunter gasped like he'd been slapped. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-!"

"You must stop your incessant pleas for reparations I cannot comprehend. Slow your speech, ponder your words, elucidate this matter, and Lock, might I request your aid while Hunter deliberates?"

"Right, yes!" Lock jumped.

He waved his hand and a first-aid kit appeared in his hand. He moved over to Fae, helping removed bandages wrapped around his entire torso while Fae stayed as still as possible, occasionally hissing in pain. Fae kept his reactions to a minimum, hiding them as best he could.

Hunter tried not to stare, directing his gaze over at the tunnel wall while he tried to figure out what he was supposed to say. Of course, he still  _knew_  that Fae was shirtless and the bandages had been removed, so it was impossible to focus.

"By my father, what happened to you, Fae?!" Lock exclaimed.

"Yeesh, you look like you were put through a meat-grinder," Pyre agreed.

"Someone did a number on you," Wolf muttered.

"I am well aware of my current state," Fae said.

"How are you even moving?" Lock scolded. "You shouldn't be active, let alone mounting a horse and riding here."

"I delayed this encounter for more than I initially desired. These wounds are healed greatly from their previous state."

Hunter's curiosity got the best of him and he looked over, walking around to see the damage on Fae. His skin was torn up, slashes blanketing his back. They weren't organized by any means, many intersecting at various points to form deeper cuts revealing muscle and sinew beneath. Some were in the process of healing, others were reopened and leaking blood - probably thanks to Hunter's embrace from before.

"Oh my…Fae…"

Fae's posture seemed to drop just slightly, his body slumping in defeat. But because he was stiff from the pain, he kept the movement only just visible. The energy seemed to drain out of him, as though he was ashamed.

"Bottle the blood, Lock," he ordered, the energy having left his voice. "You may take it. You can utilize it, rather than allow such a prize to be wasted. My faerie blood is powerful."

Lock sighed, waving his hand as Fae's blood disappeared, now placed inside of a flask in Lock's hand. The bottle then disappeared, probably put back at Lock's home. "Thanks, Fae, but are you sure-?"

"You know the rules, warlock. My scars are mine to bear."

Lock's face fell, but he reached over to his first-aid kit and pulled out some supplies, moving to dab medicine onto Fae's back. The faerie flinched at first contact, clenching his fists, but relaxed as Lock continued.

"So, what happened?" Pyre asked, taking a seat against the wall.

"Nothing of great import," Fae responded. "Following the events of my encounter with Hunter, I found myself facing trial for my actions in defying the Hunt, as well as laying many of the warriors low in the conflict that occurred. The Blackthorn boy - Miach - faced charges similar to mine, however, through simple provokation, I claimed his punishment as my own as well."

"And what was your punishment?" Hunter asked meekly, his voice coming out as only a whisper.

"30 whip-lashes."

"This is far more than 30-" Lock began.

"-for each of us."

There was a pregnant pause as everyone took in the statement.

"That…that means…you took  _60?_ " Hunter exclaimed. "All at once?!"

"Fae, man, that's pushing even you," Wolf agreed. "Look, faeries are tough, I get it, but I've gotten into a squabble with some faeries before and got 5 whip-lashes. I nearly passed out from just the first!"

"I have built a tolerance to-"

"There's no amount of tolerance that you can build for  _60 whip-lashes!_ " Pyre exclaimed. "How the hell are you even still alive?!"

"I've faced 100 before and have persisted. My true punishment lies in the time I must take to recover, unable to hunt, unable to fight, unable to mount my steed and ride. I was bedridden for twenty and two days before my sanity faced its breaking point and I made my escape."

Lock shrugged. "I suppose that makes sense."

"I'm so sorry," Hunter repeated, wiping his eyes as he sniffled. "This is all my fault…"

"The fault lies not in you, my Hunter."

"But it does! I should've taken things more seriously, gotten us out of there the moment Simon escaped from his cage. I let the two of them dawdle and we talked and we should've been on alert and making our escape faster, and now you…you had to face the…the consequences."

Fae sighed. "That was a mistake you shall learn from, and I hold no rancor towards you. All that concerned me was your escape. My reprisal holds little meaning if you were to properly flee the harm of my associates. Were you and your companions taken hostage, there would be no hope for your escape. Even I hold not the power to aid you against the Hunt's careful eye. Were I able to free Hunter, your friends would not have been capable of joining you. My injuries are a more desirable payment to have avoided the alternative."

Hunter's head fell. "Yeah, but…"

"I hold my own fault for my treatment of you. While within my land, I was naught but a faerie." Fae's gaze fell to stare blankly at the concrete below. "I harmed you, raised my tainted hands against you in ways I regret deeply. I had hoped never to show you this side of me, the part of me hardened to survival. Within Faerie I am harshest upon those I hold dear. I expect nothing less than for you to abhor my presence."

Hunter blinked. "Fae, I don't…I could never hate you for something like this. You were trying to help me…"

There was a deafening silent between them, before Lock cleared his throat and stood. "I think these two need some time alone. Pyre, Wolf?"

Lock snapped a portal open. He walked through, Pyre and Wolf reluctantly following with a few nervous glances back. Once the portal closed, the quiet returned between the two of them. The two of them shared quick glances, before averting their gazes again. Finally, their eyes met, and neither could bring themselves to look away.

Then, Hunter was kissing Fae, one arm wrapped around his neck to avoid his injuries with his other hand tangled in the faerie's hair. Fae instantly had his arms around Hunter's body, free to embrace him tightly and pull their bodies flush against each other, relieved to finally feel Hunter's lips again. He'd missed Hunter more than he wanted to admit aloud in the past three weeks.

"I was so worried about you," Hunter sobbed between kisses.

"I presumed you would hate me."

"I was surprised," he admitted. "But you wanted to help us, wanted us to escape. It was me who stalled. I was happy to see you, I was, but I knew that seeing you outside of the meeting grounds was dangerous. I wouldn't be stupid enough too try and seek you out while in Faerie of all places. If it weren't you and Mark Blackthorn that had found us, I know we would've been in a lot more trouble."

"My Hunter…" Fae sighed, pulling back, his eyes closed as his head fell. His grip on Hunter weakened, though he didn't remove his hands entirely. "I cannot bear the guilt of harming you, but it is my nature to be cruel. I…I do not believe I can be compatible as your lover."

"What do you mean?"

"I cannot be someone you desire."

"How about you let  _me_  make that judgement?"

Fae's eyes snapped up. "I wounded you, my Hunter. I will do so again in the future, it is inevitable. I can offer you naught but pain."

"Is that really what you believe? Because I think you've offered me a lot more than just pain. You saved me, Fae. You showed me a part of life I never though I could have - freedom. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here right now, and I would've stopped believing in myself long ago. You took me on your awesome horse-"

Said horse whinnied in protest.

"His name is Zoltan," Fae conceded. "He enjoys attention and slaughtering his enemies." He glanced back towards his mount. "Satisfied?"

His steed paced back and forth in consideration before giving what Hunter assumed was a horse scoff that said, ' _Good enough_.'

Hunter laughed, a warm chuckle that made Fae's heart clench. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Hunter…I was sincere when I spoke of my reprehensible behavior. I cannot love you if I know I shall harm you so. I am incapable of mansuetude, it is not my nature. You require one who will not instill fear within your heart."

"I'm not afraid of you, Fae. What happened shocked me, sure, but it doesn't change the fact that you care enough to dread my response. It doesn't change who you are."

"There are secrets I hold that you will abhor. Burdens I do not wish to impart upon your shoulders."

"I'm not as delicate as I was when we first met, Fae. I'm still a Shadowhunter. I'm not afraid of the skeletons in your closet."

Fae's face shifted in confusion.

"It means that I'm not afraid of your metaphorical inner demons. I fight demons for a living, after all. In my life, there's nothing that can possibly scare me more than you not trusting me to handle your burdens and help you through them. That's what I'm here for. That's what you do for someone you love."

Fae looked up, uncertainty filling his mismatched eyes. "I do not wish to do you harm," he whispered, as though he was afraid of the words themself.

"You won't," Hunter insisted.

"You've no guarantee."

"I don't have to. I have trust - trust in  _you_. Nothing you do could possibly hurt me more than leaving me, taking the choice from my hands because you're afraid I can't handle you - because you believe you know me better than I know myself and take your own judgement over mine. Just because I let my guard down around you and the others doesn't mean I don't have walls of my own. When I'm out there as a Shadowhunter, I'm still a tough fighter, believe it or not."

Fae studied Hunter's face, before a small smile tugged at his lips, as though he'd just thought of something funny. "I…I trust you are indeed."

Hunter nodded. "Good. So don't start doubting me, and don't you dare think I'm gonna let you break up with me without a fight and a very,  _very_  good reason. You can't just give up because you're afraid, and I'll be sure to tell you when I think I'm being pushed in some way. Deal?"

Fae nodded. "I will hold you to that promise, as we fey do."

Hunter nodded. "I'll try to live up to your faerie expectations. I'm a Shadowhunter. I know a thing or two about oaths - and consequences."

Fae's eyes fell, but Hunter gave him a quick kiss to stop him from thinking too hard. And here Fae said that they were too different.

"Come on. Let me help finish patching you up. Luckily I also know a thing or two about first aid."

Fae chuckled. "I assumed you Shadowhunters would have no need for such knowledge. You have your healing runes, do you not?"

"Sure, but you have to be prepared for anything. Being caught without a stele happens more often than you'd think."

He laughed. "Rumors state Shadowhunter are nothing without their steles."

"We've gotta work to prove that statement wrong. Besides, what else are they supposed to teach us once we've learned all the runes in existence?"

Hunter moved behind Fae and continued Lock's work, spreading some salve across the lacerations. He had to resist the urge to flinch as he ran his hand across the uneven skin, knowing that some of the cuts were extremely deep - and knowing that he was the reason Fae had the injuries at all. Fae flinched and hissed in pain a couple of times, but Hunter managed to finish the job before then wrapping bandages around his entire torso. He put on a couple layers to help keep Fae's torso from moving too much and then helped Fae get his shirt back on.

"So…" Hunter began.

"May I request entertainment? The Hunt has been stagnant ever since the previous incident and I find myself in need of your melodies."

Hunter smiled. "I'd be happy to help."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from 'Lost Boy' by Ruth B.


	11. I'm So Tired Of You Keeping Quiet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now for the chapter that I rushed to finish as a way to say sorry for the update mess up and here's what Amalspach wanted me to add since - Hey! Pyre and Wolf also kinda matter to the story. She ships them, she'll edit this one day. With her absolutely insane workload from school that she brought upon herself, it may yet be a while.
> 
> In the mean time, I may consider getting the next chapter out earlier than two weeks just because I have it prepared and I'm not longer deluding myself into believing that Amalspach can catch up with this story any time soon.
> 
> :)

Pyre was aroused from a dream by a burning sensation on her leg. She couldn't fathom what it could be, but it was becoming extremely painful. She finally couldn't stand it and forced her eyes open, still drowsy from her sleep, but was met with a blinding light. She suddenly realized what the burning sensation was and jumped, pulling her leg out of a sun beam and into the shade again.

What happened?

She had accidentally run into Wolf at a bar the previous night. Wolf had pursued her, trying to get her to spend the evening with him and telling her it was somehow luck of some kind to meet IRL. She had left, demanding that he stop following her or she'd start screaming that he was a stalker or a possessive boyfriend that someone needed to call the cops on. He had grumbled but moved the subject to the whole boyfriend comment and she had gotten even  _more_  aggravated.

When a pair of guys came up asking if there was trouble (giving a pair of suspicious looks at Wolf, which wasn't surprising considering how intimidating the werewolf came off at first glance) Pyre saw a fight coming from a mile away. Despite how mean she was, however, she knew that a confrontation wouldn't be the best idea. Those mundane boys would be dead if Wolf saw the opportunity to get into a brawl.

" _There's nothing wrong, boys_ ," Pyre had sighed. " _He's an annoying idiot, but he_ is  _my friend, I swear._ "

The boys had looked hesitant, wondering if Pyre was being forced into saying that, but she put a heeled foot down.

" _What?_ " she had snapped. " _Think a girl like me can't handle herself?_ "

" _Trust me,_ she's  _the one you should be afraid of in this relationship,_ " Wolf had smirked.

The two boys had shared a nervous glance - though not for Pyre's sake, for their own. They had apologized quickly and left the two of them alone.

" _So, I_ am  _your friend,_ " Wolf had mocked.

" _I just wanted to avoid an unnecessary fight. It would've wasted my time and you would've gotten into trouble for murder. If the others found out I let that happen,_ I'd  _be the one in hot water._ "

" _Yeah, yeah, say what you want, but we both know that there's still a heart in that undead chest of yours._ "

" _Whatever. Look, I'm serious, Wolf. Leave me alone. I just wanna go home and forget we ever met each other tonight, okay?_ "

" _What's so bad about hanging out outside of the meeting grounds? We have the chance to actually get out without risking Hunter or Fae being spotted._ "

" _I want to keep our worlds separate, is that too much to ask?_ " she snapped.

Wolf had shrugged. " _I suppose not. Just stay safe, Pyre._ "

" _This is_ me  _we're talking about._ "

" _Yeah, I know._ "

With that, he had given a small salute and bid farewell, heading off in the opposite direction down the sidewalk and back to the bar they had come from. Pyre had continued her path back to the hotel that her clan owned, but got lost in thought, thinking about Wolf and then trying to not think about Wolf but in turn thinking about him  _more_. Sometimes she just could  _not_  tell what was going through that werewolf's head.

It was only when she looked up to see how far she was from the hotel did she realize that she'd taken a wrong turn. She must've walked an extra block before turning. That explained why she had felt the need to start paying attention again - she was surrounded by foreign buildings, cars, trees, and her senses had started screaming ' _What the hell are you doing?!_ '

She had plotted her course back the way she had come, turning down a few random lefts and rights that  _should_  take her back to the main road, and when she finally came out and looked left and right, she saw the familiar lights of the city that was still awake even at that hour. If she squinted with her vampire eyes, she could see the bar that she'd come from and a figure that was undoubtedly Wolf leaning against the wall pretending to be cool.

The thought brought a small smile to her face and a chuckle of endurance. So predictable.

Pyre turned to go down her usual route again, but thought she heard the shuffling of someone behind her. It probably would've been completely silent to the mundane ear, and even Shadowhunters would have to use a specific rune to have her sense of hearing. But she knew what she heard. She would've normally thought it was just a mundane, but her intuition was telling her otherwise. She had tried to ignore it, increasing the length of her stride but not speeding up her pace to give away she knew something was wrong. She could outrun any mundane if she needed to, be gone in the blink of an eye if it was some random mugger - which wasn't a rare thing in the streets of the city. Or, she could bear her fangs and scare the everloving shit out of them. Not to mention she also had the ability to transform if she needed to.

When Pyre felt a hand on her shoulder, she turned and bared her fangs. She caught sight of her attacker flinching in fear, before she felt a rag pulled over her mouth from behind. A second one. Luckily, she didn't need to breathe (being already dead and all), and so the rag that must've had some kind of drug to knock her out or suffocate her had no effect but to annoy her. She easily kicked the first man between the legs and then grabbed the arm of the one from behind and flung him over her shoulder into the first.

Upon closer inspection, it appeared to be the two boys from before that had confronted her and Wolf. What irony.

Pyre smiled and kneeled down to the two of them, groaning in pain (maybe she'd broken something in her throw). " _Hello again, boys. Ever wanted to meet a vampire? Better yet, ever wanted to_ be  _a vampire?_ "

Over her century or so of living, Pyre had been taught the art of siring new vampires. After her own sire passed away during the Dark War she had gotten more active in turning anyone that challenged her. Though she never said it aloud, the lost connection between her and her sire left an empty hole inside her, so she became determined to fill the void by creating her own children. She had let only a few off the hook because they were annoying and she knew she didn't want to spend eternity with them.

Well, maybe she'd have some entertainment tonight after all.

She grabbed each of them by the shoulder, intending to drag them back to the hotel, but then she felt fire surge through her neck, quickly spreading throughout her body and burning her from the inside out. She let out a piercing scream, moving her hand up to feel a syringe pull out of her. She didn't have the ability to move anymore, her vision becoming blurry as she saw the city lights where she'd come from. She saw the blurred black dot that she somehow knew was Wolf even from that distance and in her weakened state.

" _Wolf…_ "

She had intended to scream for him, a small flicker of hope that maybe her voice would reach his werewolf ears, but all that came out was a small futile plea. She lost the ability to feel anything, collapsing atop the two boys who scrambled to move after being even  _more_  terrified by her scream of pain. Mundane lackies, she guessed. Whoever was out for Downworlders had upped their game. That was her last thought before she blacked out.

Now, Pyre woke up in an alley in the morning, sunlight streaming in at an angle. She looked around, but there was only bricks, bricks, and bricks. She was in a closed alley. She leaned against the wall, pulling herself to her feet, but her left leg had been completely burnt from the sun. It was a miracle that it was even still intact and not ashes yet.

She hopped her way over to a door, putting her hand on the doorknob and twisting it. It was locked, and normally that wouldn't be a problem to her, but whatever she'd been drugged with last night left her unable to concentrate. Her powers as a vampire were gone. She could barely summon her fangs without her mouth feeling sore.

Why would that guy leave her alive? If he had the ability to completely disable a vampire with just a little syringe, then why the hell wouldn't he kill her?

Pyre looked over at the sunbeam slowly but surely moving into the alley. That was why.

This place was a death trap to a vampire without powers. By the afternoon, the entire alley would be flooded with sunlight. There were no places to hide behind (unlike in the movies there weren't any conveniently placed trash bins) and the buildings around her were impossible to climb by normal means. The door into one building was locked and Pyre assumed that both buildings were abandoned - no one to hear her cries for help and open the door for her to get inside. Hell, it was entirely possible that both buildings belonged to the guys who wanted her dead and they were laughing on the other side as she desperately tried to pull the door open.

She reached into her pockets and searched for her phone or wallet. Anything that might have something to help her. Gone, obviously. She had been mugged of all her jewelry too - meaning she'd lost her gem from Lock to teleport her to the meeting grounds, which was in one of her earrings.

"Dammit!"

She slammed her fist on the door, but didn't make a dent. Normally that thing would be folding in on itself from the force she put in when she was angry. She was wearing three layers at the moment on her torso, but even with her boots and jeans her leg was nearly baked. Then again, who knows how long she'd been in the sun before she'd woken up? And it wasn't like her leg was completely dust at the moment. At least her clothing had  _some_  ability to protect her, but not nearly enough. One way or another, she'd be cooked alive, and her clothing would only slow down the inevitable and make her death last longer.

Pyre considered a way to get help, but even if she somehow managed to get a message out to anyone walking by, how would she explain this to a mundane? There was a 50/50 chance of her getting left behind or stabbed should a mundane learn she was a vampire. Even if she wasn't attacked or abandoned, there was still little chance that a mundane could do anything to help her. Maybe they could scout the area for shady spots for her to sprint to and/or give some extra layers of clothing to help buy her crucial seconds?

Not to mention this was a trap for her, so her captors might have specifically chosen a closed off location where no pedestrians would be walking around. Or maybe those that  _did_  come around were specifically mundanes that couldn't be of much use. Pyre could only look in one direction while still avoiding the sun, and even then she couldn't see very far. There were no buildings across the street to run to for more cover from the sun - just a field of grass.

Pyre sighed in frustration. There had to be  _something_  she could do.

But so far, the only option left to her was to hide in the shadows as the sun creeped ever closer.

- _ **TFOT**_ -

"Pyre's not responding," Lock reported. "Her gem doesn't even seemed to be on her person."

"Mayhap our companion merely rests without her charm," Fae suggested, running a brush along his horse's flank. Zoltan flicked his tail, enjoying the attention.

"It's in her earring last I saw," Wolf said. "And there's no reason to take it off unless she's cleaning it or something. Even if she  _was_ , she wouldn't be offline for this long, and she'd most likely have it close to her, close enough that she'd be able to see when we're trying to contact her."

"When was the last time anyone saw her?" Hunter asked.

"I saw her last night at a bar, but she left pretty quickly when I confronted her. We got stopped by a pair of mundanes, but Pyre drove them off and we split up. After that, I assume she went to the hotel where her clan is. We should go and see if she made it there last night. Just in case."

"Great. Only one problem," Lock said. "We don't know her name. Bringing Hunter isn't a good idea since, no offense, but it's risky to take a Shadowhunter to a vampire den. Fae can't come, since he can't be seen by anyone for risk that the wrong person reports his presence. It just takes one mistake and Fae could get in major trouble for being where he's not supposed to be. Actually the same might apply to Hunter, depending on where we go, since someone could report his whereabouts and accuse him of any number of things. That leaves you and I, Wolf, but are we just supposed to go up and ask all the vampires to line up so we can pick out Pyre?"

Wolf looked down in thought. "The vampires have to take shelter during the day, but that doesn't mean they're inactive. Maybe if we go and just ask if there's a missing vampire-"

"Hold on," Lock interrupted, closing his eyes. "Someone's got hold of her gem. Take a look."

He waved his hands and each of them became connected through their own respective jewels. Together they saw an unfamiliar man examining Pyre's gem, all of them looking from the mineral's perspective.

" _I'd saw you could get about a grand or so,_ " the man said. " _Some of this stuff's old and has gained_ some  _value. It's not exactly a fortune, but it's not a measly scrap either._ "

" _That's a fine amount,_ " another male voice reassured calmly. " _This old stuff's just been lying around in my attic anyway._ "

The dealer hummed in acknowledgement but didn't say a thing. He seemed to be suspicious of the seller but keeping his opinions to himself.

"A pawn shop," Lock announced.

"Someone's selling off Pyre's stuff?" Wolf growled. "She wouldn't just give away her gem, by accident or not. She's careful with it, we all are."

"Well, bad news for that seller - the pawn shop owners are warlocks, and I know exactly where that is. Anyone else wanna come?"

Lock waved open a portal with a vengeance and stomped through. Wolf was the next to run through, while Hunter and Fae shrugged at each other and walked through as well. By the time they came through, Lock had a man pinned with magic and was speaking to the worker casually.

"I thought I sensed your handiwork, Ve. This stuff yours?"

"It all belongs to a friend of mine, and I gave the portal gem as a gift. The question remains, though. Where in Frisco did  _he_  get all this?" Lock glared at the seller, hovering frozen beside him. "I just happened to have seen this vampire friend of mine yesterday, so I know that she can't have suddenly given away all of the jewelry she was wearing to some lowlife."

"Where is she?!" Wolf demanded.

Lock snapped, releasing the man's mouth to speak. He let out a small gasp, proving that he could, indeed, talk, but other than that, he didn't say a thing. Wolf growled, his teeth beginning to sharpen to a wolf's, and Hunter looked worriedly at everyone in the room. Anyone gonna stop him?

"If you're gonna tear him up, I was not witness to any of this, got it?" the warlock worker requested.

"You can go, Andrew," Lock permitted. "But the jewelry will be returned to its proper owner."

Andrew grabbed a bracelet. "I'll take this as payment for the trouble you've caused me." With that, he walked through a staff door and disappeared.

"You're going to talk, bud," Wolf growled. "One way or another."

Surprisingly, it was Fae who stepped forward and put his hand on Wolf's shoulder. "Please, my friend. Allow me. Interrogations require a certain finesse. There are some that vow even death shall not beget their hidden truths. There is a balance between pain and fear, threat and destruction."

Wolf looked at Fae, confused for a moment, but Fae's face was completely stoic with just a hint of a dark glare in his mismatched eyes. Wolf took a step back, waving for Fae to do as he pleased. Fae stepped forward, cracking his fingers - not showing off, but definitely seeming more than intimidating.

"There are many variations of torture, ranging from physical to mental. The type of proper faerie mental torture will take much time without the proper tools and magic. Unfortunately, we have not the patience for such a technique. Physical torture is very risky if not properly executed. It is a simple and basic concept - to avoid pain, information shall be traded. However, the victim has no guarantee that their surrender shall result in reward, after all, we hold all the power in this situation and should he give away his only bargaining chip for life, we can do any number of horrendous injury without repercussions. This stalemate is easily met no matter what the circumstances. Yet I am an expert at finding a way around this conundrum."

"What? Are we supposed to bargain with him and actually  _let him go?_ " Wolf demanded.

"Lock, remove Hunter from the premises. Do not allow him to witness this scene in any way, be it visually or audibly. I wish not for you to observe such cruelty from me."

"Fae…?" Hunter whispered.

"This is a side of me far more dangerous and gruesome than a simple slap or chokehold."

"Fae, I'm a big boy. I've seen more painful interrogations back as a Shadowhunter. Don't think I can't take anything. Or do  _you_  think  _I'm_  weak?"

"I believe you are strong. Yet I fear what you shall see me as. You cannot deny that your view shall shift even slightly. I will be one step further from a stranger, my mysteries shall be one step closer to revelation."

"If I start treating you differently just because I found out something about you that has  _always_  been there, then what kind of person would that make me? I'm better than that, and maybe I'll see you differently, but that doesn't mean I'm going to run away the moment you don't conform to the person I want you to be. I'm not leaving, and if you  _make_  me, I'll never forgive any of you."

"You will stay, then. But you will not interfere under any circumstances, and I shall not listen to your opinion."

Fae pushed the restrained man back, Lock's magic allowing Fae to move him against the wall while still keeping him in place. Fae drew his hunting knife, the deadly one with the blade midnight black with a dark purple aura of magic.

He brandished the weapon to the man. "This is an enchanted faerie blade with magic of the darkest kind. You can feel it from here, can't you? The effect it has on your body, your mind, the rage and pain that surges through your system. Imagine how strong it becomes with each little cut." He nicked the blade gently against the man's arm. The small cut was deep yet didn't bleed, glowing with the same dark aura of the knife. "Oh, now it seems you need not imagine the feeling." He added another, and the man was visibly sweating, clenching his teeth in an attempt not to scream. "You are going to tell me everything I want to know about my friend. You can resist as long as you are able, however soon you will forget all but rage. You forget all reason you have for your silence."

The taunting cruelty in Fae's voice surprised Hunter, but he promised himself that he wouldn't be affected, he wouldn't expect Fae to be one way or another and deny that he was capable of such things. If anything, Hunter liked seeing Fae's talent when it came to hardening himself into a cold faerie. Hunter knew who he was when he was being truthful, and that's all he needed to know. When Fae acted any differently, Hunter felt a small surge of joy that he understood the  _real_  Fae.  _His_  Fae.

The man now had numerous enchanted cuts along his arms, and when Fae made a cut at the base of his neck, the man now cried out in pain, unable or uncaring of holding back his wails.

"That's it," Fae crooned. "Let it all out. You know what you're hiding, you know what I want to know. Just…" Another cut. "…a little…" Another. "…further…"

"That slut got tricked by my boys!" she man spat confidently. There was a certain level of insanity in his eyes that hadn't been there before. He didn't seem to remember that he was in pain or being interrogated. He just wanted,  _needed_ , to boast. "They acted all innocent, trying to protect her from the guy harassing her, but in the end they attacked her!"

"Go on," Fae pushed, remaining unimpressed.

"She took 'em out, but that's only to be expected. Little shits can't do anything, they're just expendable mundane meat bags. But all it took was one needle of vamp drugs and she was out."

"'Vamp drugs?'"

"Special stuff from us organization members used for vampires. We got stuff for wolves, warlocks, and even you little bastard faerie dudes. Took all her powers, left her dead as a…well, a vampire."

"You  _killed_  her?!" Wolf shouted.

Fae held his hand out to hold Wolf back. "Calm yourself."

"Oh, no, why would we kill her so swiftly?" the man crooned. "No, we use the drug to take them to their  _real_ death sentences. For her, just an inescapable alley filling with sunlight as the day goes by." He chuckled with a drunken state of crazed humor. "She'll be cooked alive! Bit! By! BIT!"

"You sick, son of a-"

"Wolf, I will not repeat myself again!" Fae snapped.

Wolf growled, but backed away in a huff.

"Where would such a place exist?"

"Our stronghold up in the north east of Cali."

Fae stabbed his blade into the man's stomach. "An exact location."

The man spasmed, and suddenly the crazed look on his face resembled that of the Joker from that Batman movie that Hunter had once watched with his sister and Selina. He gave an address in a laughter/growl that Hunter was genuinely becoming creeped out by. Once Fae looked to Lock for confirmation, Fae twisted the blade in the man's torso and he was surrounded by the dark aura. In a flash, he disappeared, leaving not a trace that a man had been there previously.

Fae sheathed the blade, and suddenly Hunter felt the air become lighter, as though the entire room had darkened while the knife had been unsheathed - as though the aura of the weapon poisoned the air itself into turning anyone near it into lunatics with no control, fated only to perish moments later.

"Shall we go?" Fae requested.

Hunter looked at him firmly. Hunter wasn't entirely sure he understood everything that he'd just witnessed, but this hadn't changed anything. It never would.

- _ **TFOT**_ -

Pyre was  _not_  going to cry. She would  _not_  wallow in misery, tremble in fear like some damsel in distress. She wasn't helpless. She was still alive right now, and waiting for her rescue party simply decreased the chances of survival. She still had access to over two thirds of the alley. Soon, one side would be completely out of reach to her. She needed to do what she could with that side, now.

She worked to jiggle the lock of the door, hoping that enough strain might make some difference. The door was old and it didn't look like it'd been opened in a long time. She still had a bobby pin in her hair, but it wasn't as easy as the movies made it seem to use a single pin to pick a lock. The stupid thing wasn't built for the heavy metal and the only way she wouldn't break the thing was if she had at least two - something to note for future use. If she had a future, that was.

No, not the time to be thinking like that.

The alley was already scolding hot. Maybe that was just her vampire nature, but it was a warm morning, and though she wasn't in the direct sunlight she already felt like she was boiling. She tugged on the door harder, jiggling it and making enough noise to let anyone in the area know she was awake and still alive trying to escape. She started getting angry and was basically trying to break the thing down, hoping that with enough force it might break free. But of course, that would be far too easy.

Beaten by a stupid door.

She searched herself for what she had that might be useful. No jewelry of any kind, one hairpin, the zipper on her jacket maybe? It was the only thing she could think of, so she began attempting to tear it free.

Meanwhile the sun creeped ever closer.

- _ **TFOT**_ -

"This is it," Lock announced. "Heavy warding to repel Downworlders. Technology-based, mundane made. Hunt, you've gotta find where the beacon is and smash it."

"How will I know what it looks like?"

"It'll most likely be humming a lot and you'll start getting dizzy from the vibrations the signal is emitting. It's like a giant speaker at a party, ya know?"

"Oh, yeah, I hate those. It'll be easy to find and smash."

"Great, have at it!"

"Take caution," Fae warned. He kept his face devoid of emotion, but Hunter could tell that he was concerned in his own secret faerie way. "Show no mercy."

Hunter nodded. The teenager walked to the door. "Mael."

His sword blazed to life and he took a deep breath. Just a mission. Fully authorized to kill anyone inside, preferably all of them so there'd be no witnesses. Once the warding is down, Lock will trap them all inside and Wolf will join. Split up and search, Fae does his interrogation thing if necessary.

Hunter drew an unlock rune on the door and then kicked it in. He instantly took in the room, looking for other exits, windows, obstacles, and of course, people. Hunter scared the crap out of two guys, but they didn't seem to be fighters. In fact, they were playing a card game with beers and a TV beside them.

"Game's over," Hunter declared, whacking each of them with the butt of his sword.

He looked around the room for anything that might be useful and found a communicator, probably used to warn anyone of intruders. Hunter figured that there were most likely cameras in this area that knew he was here, so he made haste to the door at the back of the room and drew another unlock rune. Beyond, he definitely felt a pulsing hum that was just gentle yet powerful enough to make his head spin.

This was the way forward.

He busted down the door and made his way forward.

- _ **TFOT**_ -

Fae was tapping his finger against the Io in his hand. What was taking so long?

"Why would anyone do something like this?" Wolf snapped, looking even more irritated than Fae felt.

"Everyone hates what they can't understand. If even just a few mundanes found a way to observe the Shadow World, they'd become afraid. If they found a way to defend themselves, they'd start to abuse their power to no longer be afraid," Lock explained. "It's pretty simple. There are plenty of people out there who find any part of the Shadow World scary - the mundanes don't know the difference between Downworlder or Nephilim either. It could very well be dangerous for Hunter in there too, but as he was able to get past the wards, maybe they haven't found a way to fight angelic origins yet. It's easy to make a deal with a demon, not so much with an angel or anything more powerful than one."

"What about the Fair Folk? They're more ancient than the Shadowhunters."

Lock and Wolf looked over to Fae.

"It's entirely conceivable," he admitted. "However I sense not faerie magic among these wards - simply this harnessed electricity by human means."

"Then it's unlikely there's a trap in there for Hunt - I doubt they're expecting him or even know what he is," Wolf said hopefully.

"But this will put him on the map," Lock pointed out. "Him and the rest of his kind. Once they make a name for themselves, make sure they're known as a threat, there's no telling what kind of lengths people might go to in order to understand them and to stop them. Anything powerful is a threat to them - it's just basic survival skills. It might not be too long before even Hunt isn't safe."

"Then we make our excursion swift and our retreat hasty," Fae declared.

He looked into the building where Hunter had disappeared into. It had been a good deal of time, but surely Hunter was simply getting his bearings in the new location. Hunter was trained, Fae had to remember that. He had to start putting more faith in Hunter, though it wasn't easy. He'd never learned to put much faith in anyone. Even after all these years, he still feared for his brother's wellbeing, but he was beginning to loosen up. Then again, that might simply be because he was distracted by something else in his life for the first time.

' _Every time I see you leave, I wonder in the back of my head if that'll be the last time we ever meet. I think 'What was the last thing I said to you?' 'What was the last thing you said to me?' 'When was the last time I told you I loved you?' The last time I held your hand, the last time I saw you smile and smiled back. And the scariest part is, sometimes I can't remember. Sometimes I panic and think that I can't answer one of those questions, that I've lost something so important. You don't appear for one meeting because you're just not available at that time, and suddenly I can't sleep the entire night. Then, you appear the next day saying you were taking a bath at the time or your horse was being a stubborn steed and I feel so stupid for ever doubting you._ '

Fae tried not to panic when he thought about Hunter's statement, but he himself couldn't answer all of those questions. He wanted to brush off his feelings, but it was getting harder and harder when it came to Hunter. It felt like the walls that he'd built up throughout his entire life, the walls that had kept him alive, the walls that protected him from all threats and kept him safe, were no melting away like…like chocolate! Melting chocolate represented how he felt very well. And it also made him want chocolate. Hunter said chocolate was a good present to a lover, and he had once given Fae some during one of their secret dates. Fae just wanted to sit down with Hunter for another date, one more, just so that he could answer those questions properly.

"Wards are down!" Lock suddenly shouted. "Move in! Stay careful, but split up and find her. Use the gems as com devices, and when you go offline, I'll know. Fae, you're in charge of the gems if I get KO'd since you're the only other one with magical experience. Alright, let's go!"

They ran in, Wolf going the fastest as he chose a random door and busted through. It wasn't long before Fae heard the distinct cracking of bones and then the growling of a wolf as his friend started surging through the building, tracking Pyre's scent.

Fae, meanwhile, gave in to his urges and started searching for Hunter. He knew that he should be looking for Pyre, that he should be splitting up to fan out and cover more ground, but he just needed to see Hunter was okay. It was irrational, it was dishonest, and it made his gut turn with guilt. He'd always been a soldier, he followed orders without question and stayed silent when he had something to say, and now he was disobeying orders that he clearly understood, turning his back on Lock. Even though the warlock wasn't his superior, Lock was still one of his most trusted allies that he respected beyond measure, and now Fae was betraying him - there was no other way to put it. Faeries were dramatic, after all, and they took every action as gospel.

But he just needed to see Hunter.

He sprinted to where his gem indicated that his Hunter was, as Lock had activated them all as communicators and to keep track of each other for this certain mission. They'd never done such a thing before, but Lock was nothing if not resourceful when it came to improvisation.

Fae turned a corner and then found the door that led to where Hunter was, but as Fae ran up to the open door, he saw that Hunter was knocked out, being dragged away by two men with a third giving orders.

"I want to know what he is and how he works. Get him properly drugged before he regains consciousness and then get him to the labs. Don't let this one get away. We may have found another-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence.

As the man was talking, he saw a device that Fae recognized as some drug injector that humans used to put poisonous liquids within one's bloodstream directly. He didn't know the details, but he didn't need to. The moment he saw the sharp device stuck into Hunter's neck and the liquid inside force within him, Fae snapped. He saw Hunter flinch in irritation, probably on the verge of waking if it weren't for the drug taking effect and causing him to completely relax in a deeper sleep than any might gain normally. There were hallucinogens and sedation techniques and drugs within the Wild Hunt, but if Fae knew anything about such things, he would've guessed that Hunter was drugged with enough sedative to knock out a large monster.

Fae punched the mundane as hard as he could, feeling and hearing his skull crack under the faerie's knuckles. He felt a small surge of pride, but it didn't cancel out the disgust that was currently swirling through his stomach at the thought of what these mundanes might've done to Hunter had Fae not come. What Hunter had said, his fears about never seeing each other again and the last things that they shared together…now it didn't seem so irrational.

Fae quickly disposed of the two men that were trying to move Hunter, leaving both alive - unlike their commanding officer, as Fae had killed him instantly (he should've left him alive for more pain, dammit) - and only one conscious for interrogation. Fae welded the door to the room shut and pulled out his blade.

"Now, let us begin."

- _ **TFOT**_ -

Pyre slammed the door in frustration. Her zipper was strong enough, and she  _knew_  that it could help open the lock if she  _just_  tried a little harder. Or at least, that's what she'd deluded herself into believing.

She dropped the zipper at her side - careful not to throw it into the sunlight in her frustration as to not lose it as an option entirely - and fell against the wall. She was boiling, and if she could still sweat, she probably would've been. She was angered beyond measure, but she was now too tired to care much anymore. She didn't need to breathe, but at the moment she was panting hard in a futile effort to keep cool.

Pyre had reached her limit. She'd been at this for hours and the sun was nearly at her toes while she was pressed up against the wall, sitting and hugging her legs tightly. She turned to her side, sitting at the corner of the alley with the most shade remaining. Not that it really mattered, but it was just natural for her to try and survive for as long as she could.

Maybe Wolf would come.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, in her hopeless state of despair, she played with the idea that maybe Wolf had seen her being dragged away and he was coming for her. She chuckled at the idea, imagining Wolf coming to her rescue like some action-movie hero. Not that she needed him to come and rescue her. But it would be nice, to know he cared.

She wanted someone,  _anyone_ , to be with her right now. She didn't want to be alone at that moment. For some reason, the person she wanted most at the moment was Wolf. She wanted his stupid face and his stupid voice and his stupid way of comforting her through arguments that neither really care about. They only ever argued because they didn't know how else to communicate, but Pyre appreciated that Wolf went along with things. In truth, Pyre found him a good ally that would stand by her even in her worst moments. She wished she had thanked him for all the times he was overprotective, all the times that he'd taken the attention away from her during some of her hardest moments, the way he brought up a subject that easily could turn into an argument so that they could be categorized into simply bantering and nothing more. Pyre didn't like attention, but she was also the first to jump into a conversation, complaining about things, speaking her opinion, just to feel like she fit in.

She wished she had told him the story of her family, her life before she was turned. She wished that she had told him about how she got turned, she wished she had told him about the vampires she'd sired - a little girl in poverty that Pyre saved, a woman who had lost everything to her husband simply because he had more power than her as a man that got revenge and was hidden as a vampire all at once, a boy addicted to Yin Fen that she offered a chance at being rid of the drug through dying and becoming a vampire. So many stories, gruesome, loathsome, and heart-wrenching. So many that she wanted to tell someone, that she wanted to tell Wolf.

He would've been mad at some. He probably would've scolded her for the moral implications, but she would've fought back and it would've been a running gag about how Wolf disapproved when, in reality, he knew that she was doing good in the world, one way or another. Wolf would've met her children, probably. She imagined him charming her friends and her family with ease, even with the whole rivalry with vamps and wolves.

But it was all gone. That potential future. Pyre always told herself that she could do all these things later, that she still had plenty of time. But Wolf might be gone one day. Werewolves weren't immortal, after all. Who could've predicted that  _she_  would be the one running out of time before him?

She felt the stinging of the sun baking her and she stood to try and flatten herself a bit more. But what good would it do her?

She tried to muffle her screams. She tried not to focus on the pain, but her face getting burnt sent her over the edge. There wasn't a way to twist her head or compress it any further, and finally she allowed herself to scream when her bones were beginning to be exposed.

There wasn't really a way to describe being burnt alive, slowly as the sun progressed. She was being cooked everywhere the sun touched her, but the parts of her that  _remained_  in the sun began to dissolve into dust rather than just burn her and leave her skin looking like that Two-Face guy from Batman (except all over).

She passed out at some point, or maybe she just lost her ability to remember what happened next because some of her brain had melted away. In any case, she  _did_  remember a loud clang of a door coming down and growling before she collapsed, feeling as though she was sleeping in a bed, covered by a nice warm blanket. Maybe this was her afterlife, that's what it was like. She was a vampire, probably long since denied whatever heaven or enlightenment or whatever humans believed in, but at that point in her death, she didn't care. She wanted to believe in some kind of happiness at the end, wanted to at least die thinking,  _hoping_ , that something better was out there for her.

At her final moments, she felt content, she forgot what it was that she was leaving behind, and she accepted that she was happy now.

- _ **TFOT**_ -

Lock waved his hands and threw any opponent he faced into the wall with his magic, disarming them of their weapons and teleporting them to a box in his loft - a quick improv idea that he had on the run so that he could place their weapons in a safe location that he controlled.

He followed the hallway he was running down, liberating every room that he could find, but he knew that he had to pick and choose his battles. At this rate, he wouldn't have enough magic to take back every little section of this facility. All he had to do was prevent anyone from escaping and stop the leaders in charge - the Clave would clean up after that, hopefully.

He finally found Fae stabbing one of the men with his knife and absorbing him - his soul and his body in all - with an anger that Fae rarely let show.

"What's wrong?"

Fae sheathed his weapon, nodding towards a slumped figure in the corner of the room that Lock realized was Hunter.

"Hunter! What happened to him?"

"According to my sources, destroying the mechanism that barred our advancement previously resulted in a destruction that led to Hunter's incapacitation. I stumbled upon an attempt to capture Hunter, and I was unable to prevent his current state."

Fae picked up a broken syringe and handed it to Lock.

"This contraption was used."

Lock examined the syringe and checked for remnants of the liquid that had once been inside. "Heavy tranquilizer - used normally for…large animals like elephants." Lock waved his magic over Hunter. "He'll need his healing runes activated, but luckily he's tougher than a mundane."

"If he receives not this treatment you prescribe?"

Lock shook his head. "Ugh…I'd guess that he'd be in a comatose state for a while, if not indefinitely. Shadowhunters are weird, their bodies react differently to certain things of mundane making. His body is fighting a drug that he's never needed to combat before. We'll get him back to his Institute and…I guess I can come up with a story."

Fae looked at Hunter, then Lock. "You can surely avoid telling such a tale. Simply return him to his residence and allow his kinsman to deduce the cause of his disabled state."

Lock sighed. "I'm not comfortable with that. You never know what kind of stories that'll be brought up if Hunter's unable to testify. There'll be someone blaming this on the nearest Downworlder, you can guarantee it."

"I feel not comfort in your risking of security," Fae countered. "I will not sit by and allow you to give yourself away to the Nephilim."

"This is for Hunter, Fae. This is also for you. I know you're eager to help, but we can't risk your life and we can't risk anyone else's." Lock sighed. "Okay, this is  _not_  the time to be debating this. We need to find Pyre. Get Hunter to safety, I'll handle Pyre and Wolf."

Lock rushed out of the room, while Fae started down at Hunter, who took only shallow breaths and looked terrifyingly still. Fae brushed Hunter's hair away from his face.

Fae looked and saw what he identified as the healing rune on Hunter's neck. It was faint, but all it needed was a stele to feed it energy and activate it. Carefully, almost afraid that Lock would return and see his actions, Fae slipped his hand into Hunter's pocket and pulled out his stele.

Fae gently swept the stele across Hunter's neck, the rune humming with energy and activating. Fae leaned down to kiss Hunter, the power flowing from him to the stele to Hunter's rune increasing, and after a moment Hunter gasped and opened his eyes.

Fae carefully lowered the stele to the floor beside Hunter, cupping the Shadowhunter's face and keeping his attention so that he didn't notice Fae's previous act.

"W-What…what happened?" Hunter muttered, out of breath as though he had fought hard for his consciousness and woozy as sleep fought back to take over again.

"I kissed you and you woke," Fae said carefully.

Hunter chuckled weakly. "Cool."

"Can you stand?"

Hunter tried to sit forward, but his body shook violently in protest as his muscles weren't able to support him. "No," Hunter choked with effort.

Fae pulled him forward and into his arms. He grabbed Hunter's stele as well as his weapon that had been nearly stolen from him, before leading Hunter out of the room and down the hall. Hunter was leaning mostly on Fae, trying to move on his own but having to rely heavily on his faerie. Still, Fae wanted Hunter to try and regain control of his body, giving him the chance to fight the drug in his system consciously.

Fae handed Hunter his stele at the Shadowhunter's request, who activated his healing rune - Iratze - on his own in an attempt to regain control. He also activated his stamina rune to keep himself awake and fighting as they made their way to the exit of the building.

"You woke me after I got an elephant tranq to the neck?" Hunter recounted after Fae's story. "With nothing but a kiss. How…Sleeping Beauty-esque."

Fae simply nodded despite his lack of understanding what a Sleeping Beauty was, directing attention away from the subject by opening a door. "This way."

- _ **TFOT**_ -

Wolf tore through the building, mauling anyone who came in his path, but he didn't stay long. He had somewhere to be. He rammed against doors with his werewolf strength and busted down any that got in his way.

It wasn't long before he heard Pyre's screaming and his speed doubled. Any fatigue that had even  _begun_  to take over disappeared, adrenaline flowing through his system. His wolf instincts took over, he went, what he called, feral where he stopped thinking like a man and started giving in to the mind of a wolf. The number one rule for a wolf was to protect your kin.

He stormed through the rooms he passed, guessing on the doors that would lead closer to Pyre's voice, before he rammed into a heavy steel door. He felt rage flow through him, as this was the only door that had failed to fall with one strike. He growled and reared back, smashing into the door. It gave just slightly, but didn't fall. Now Wolf was pissed.

Pyre's screams were just outside that door.

He heard guns being trained on him from behind, humans shouting in their stupid human language that was only pushing him further over the edge. Wolf turned and gnashed his teeth in rage, growling as his eyes glowed from his supernatural state. Even if these men knew nothing about werewolves (which was unlikely considering who they were, but Wolf didn't care at the moment) they still would've been intimidated by such a large hound.

- _ **TFOT**_ -

Lock found the door he had been looking for. One of the men had given him the location of the vampire he believed was doomed already. Needless to say, that man was now in a coma if not dead (Lock had  _tried_  to hold back. Not very hard, but he tried). The scaled warlock pounded on the door. He was low on magic.

It took him the rest of his strength, but he opened the door and found that he was outside, facing a beating, afternoon, summer sun and finding a large wolf curled up defensively atop something - or someone.

Lock waved and moved Wolf and Pyre back to the tunnels, dark and safe, before rushing back the way he came and finding Hunter was awake, leaning on Fae as he worked to stay away and move. Lock opened them a portal to the meeting ground with their gems. Lock snapped and sent out a wave of energy that would definitely alert the nearest Institute to come and see what was up with the place.

With that, Lock joined his friends.

- _ **TFOT**_ -

Lock was tending to Pyre while wolf paced nervously. Fae was helping Hunter walk back and forth, testing his muscles and trying to see if he was recovering any faster. Either way, fighting the drug wouldn't be easier if Hunter sat down and did nothing, he knew he needed to be active and fighting his debilitating state.

"How is she?" Wolf demanded.

Lock nodded back to Pyre's sleeping form. Her body that had been burnt away was rebuilt, although it was discolored and far from perfectly matched with the rest of her - she was still scarred badly from the direct sunlight.

"I healed her up, rebuilt her body that had been burnt away as best I could. Once she gets some blood in her, the recovery process will speed up immensely. She'll hopefully wake soon."

" _Hopefully?_ "

"Keep your pants on. You got to her in time, Wolf. If it weren't for you shielding her, the damage could've been a lot worse. She'll recover, but she's gonna need blood when she wakes. It might be best to take her back to her clan for proper vampire treatment."

Wolf stared anxiously at the unconscious Pyre. "How are we gonna explain this to them?"

"We tell the truth - she was captured by a rogue mundane Shadow World hater organization and we saved her. Hunter's gonna bring this matter to the Shadowhunter world, say that he was captured and drugged and barely managed to escape. We were never involved."

Wolf's gaze shifted around to everyone and then to the floor as he tapped his foot nervously. "I think she should stay here. At least until she wakes up. Fae, didn't you say that your blood was powerful or something? Could it heal her?"

"Quite possibly," Fae admitted. "I've not considered the possibility of a vampire consuming my blood. I know that it is potent within spells and enchantments - both creating and neutralizing such - however I've no experience with the concept."

"Lock, you have some bottled blood from Fae, so no need for Pyre to bite him or anything. It's worth a shot. If Fae's blood is better than the average human's then we should at least try."

Everyone shared nervous glances before ultimately looking to Lock.

"Since when am  _I_  the leader?!" Lock blurted.

"My opinion on such matters are ill-informed and the risk matters little to me," Fae said. "My leadership qualities are faerie-based, merciless, uncaring, and logical. I've no preference to Pyre's treatment, so long as she receives such. A faerie would most likely insist on the guaranteed method of survival."

"I don't know, Wolf," Hunter admitted timidly. "I don't know much about vampires besides what I've been taught on how to stop them by the Shadowhunters. It's not my case to call, that's for sure. Lock's the most informed. He  _is_  the oldest with the most experience with the Downworld."

Wolf looked to Lock.

Lock sighed. "What do you think, Wolf? What would be best for her?"

Wolf looked at Pyre. "I wanna be there when she wakes up. Say that I'm sorry. I left her alone and this happened. I was  _with_  her less than an hour before she was taken. Maybe if I'd insisted on taking her home…"

"She would've been stubborn," Lock finished. "You know her, she never would've let you help her. What's done is done. We're here, we're safe, and she has a chance for recovery. We'll keep her till she wakes and give her Fae's blood. Just don't expect her to be nice at first. When a vamp is wounded and hungry, she'll be ravenous. Not that it should be a big problem, I can set stuff up."

"Thank you, Lock."

"You owe me a steak dinner for this."

Wolf chuckled. "How fresh do you want it?"

"Don't care. But grill it please, no matter where you get the meat. And wine. Red wine. And Netflix. I'm gonna bring a TV to watch Netflix down here. Yes, that's a great idea. I'll add that to the list. Maybe I'll get a Roku so we can have Hulu and also games, and HBO, and NBC, and we can also hook up my Playstation-"

"Lock," Hunter interrupted. " _Really?_ "

"Yes, thinking about my relaxation techniques after a long day of helping you fools - completely free of charge, I might add - is not a crime."

"I was unaware we required a fee," Fae said.

"It's a joke," Hunter whispered. "He helps us because we're his friends and doesn't want or need to charge us, but he charges everyone else so he pretends that we're even more of an exception than we usually are for fun."

Fae's brow furrowed in confusion and he made a face that showed he was over trying to explain what was happening anymore. He didn't understand neither Lock's statement nor Hunter's explanation, but he didn't have the energy left to care.

Lock waved his hand. "Nevermind. I'll set things up, but I  _will_  be expecting dinner, Wolf."

"Yes sir," Wolf smiled.

- _ **TFOT**_ -

Wolf watched as Pyre stirred finally.

Fae had taken Hunter home, while Lock was playing on a DS while they waited. He'd gotten some bags of Fae's blood read to give to Pyre and told Wolf what to do, but he remained so that he could supervise.

The moment Pyre's eyes snapped open, there was a feral look in her eyes, her sclera were pure black, and in a split second she had sped over to the wall of the pen that Lock had trapped her in. Her vampire speed and slightly enhanced strength helped her as she fought her way to escape, before Wolf quickly threw the blood bags in for her. She snatched them up desperately and bit into them, spilling blood all over herself and the ground as she jugged the red liquid as fast as she could. She finished off three of the bags before she finally began to calm down.

"Pyre?" Wolf asked.

Lock closed his DS and walked over to see her. "She'll be fine if she gets a healthy intake of blood."

Lock waved and a few glasses appeared, half with blood, the other half with beer.

"Vampire delicacies. I learned a few recipes in my lifetime. I think she deserves something a little fancier than a bloodbag now that she's come to. I'll be in my loft. You're in charge. Have a party."

Lock disappeared through his portal and Wolf looked at Pyre, slowly coming back to her senses.

"What…what the…?"

"Pyre?"

She looked up at him and then down at her clothes. "Did I…?"

"No! No, you didn't hurt anyone. It's just bagged blood." He pointed to the bags that she just noticed.

"It smells like Fae," she admitted. "I thought…"

"He's fine. It's just some of his blood that was bagged earlier by Lock. We figured that Fae's blood was special and might help your recovery."

She looked up at him, her scarred skin already mending itself. She reached up to touch her healing wound in surprise. "What happened?"

- _ **TFOT**_ -

"I thought I died," Pyre admitted, a shock-blanket wrapped around her. It really did help - it gave a place of sanctuary around you so that you could pretend to block out the rest of the world's dangers. "So that feeling I had, being protected by that warmth…that was you and not…my death?"

Wolf chuckled. "Death makes you crazy. Well, crazi _er_."

"Ha ha," she muttered sarcastically, too tired to make a proper retort. "Excuse me for having half my face melted away, brain and all."

"Actually Lock said that your brain just barely survived, that's why you're still here today. If your brain, even just a certain part of it, was cooked, you'd probably have lost your personality, your ability to think and retain memories. You would've been more zombie than vampire. Your skull was heavily damaged, but it protected you long enough for me to get there. After that, Lock could heal everything else. He also says I owe him a steak dinner for making him use up all that magic."

Pyre gripped the blood drink that Lock had left for her. "What about that place? What was it?"

"Mundanes with the sight or something - mundanes who were out for the entire Shadow World. They tried to capture Hunter to study him, add Shadowhunters to their target list, but Fae made it just in time."

Pyre chuckled. "Obviously Fae saved him."

"You think they're official yet?"

"Oh, they'll  _never_  be  _official_. But if they're not together yet, I  _swear_  we're gonna shove the two of them in a closet together and not let them out until they kiss."

"They're not really subtle. It's clear that they're together to some extent. The question is if they realize it yet."

"They've had a lot of moments where they're alone in the meeting grounds together, you've seen that, right?"

"Oh, yes. Lock has seen it too."

She smiled and sat back. "They'd be cute together, wouldn't they?"

"Guess the most obvious couples are always that last to be informed about their inevitability."

"Or maybe they're just so perfect that they're afraid of what happens when they finally admit the truth. They're afraid of what changes, and the flaws that they'll find once things become serious. And they're afraid of inevitable ends. There's an end to everything, Wolf. 100 short years have taught me that."

Wolf scooted closer to her. "What happened?"

"During the Dark War…I lost my sire. He wasn't an evil sire or anything, he didn't turn me just for no reason. He offered me a choice and I took it. His clan… _my_  clan now…we always give choices, we change people who need new lives, who are dead long before their hearts stop. My sire saved me when I needed someone,  _anyone_ , to help me. I thought that he'd be there forever - quite literally. But then I felt that moment, during the war, where suddenly he was just…gone. Ever since then…I guess I've been a little more cynical in life."

Wolf chuckled. "I would've never guessed. You didn't seem to change much before and after the war."

"Before I'd lost my sire, I thought I had the world beneath my feet. But even back then, I was getting over my own demons. My little brother…back when we were alive, we lost our parents and we were left all alone. We went to an orphanage, but he was taken from me. We tried to stay together, but the couple that took him wanted only one child, could only  _afford_  one child. After that, well…I ran away and was found by my sire when I learned the hard way that living on the streets in the 1900s wasn't as easy as I thought. But once I'd become a vampire, I was able to go see my little brother. I wanted to take him with me to make him a vampire too. We'd be free together. I overheard him begging to get his sister back, I thought he'd say yes to my offer immediately. But he didn't. He was  _afraid_  of me, Wolf."

He wrapped his arms around her and she leaned into his grip.

"What did you do?" he asked.

"I left him. I watched him grow though. He prayed, every night. He said that…he wanted his  _real_  sister back, not whatever monster that had taken her form. He thought I was some trick by the devil or something to tempt him into becoming a monster. He thought that I was never really there - he still believed that the sister he loved was out there, that I could come back. For a while, I was angry at my sire for what he'd made me, I demanded that he turn me back. But he helped me through things instead. He explained to me that everyone had their own story in his clan. I saw that other vamps in the clan had family still alive - some they hated, some they loved and missed. I was still allowed to watch my brother grow, and then, as he became older and a little more… _senile_ , I was able to go visit him, pretending to be a ghost, telling him the truth - that I'd run away to try and find you and ended up dying. He believed I was an angel. If only."

"You  _are_  an angel in your own right."

"Vamps and wolves are cursed, aren't we? Isn't that why we're so bad in the eyes of the Clave?"

Wolf shrugged. "Well, when I was first turned, I didn't know what was happening. I freaked out. I thought my scratch was cool at first, I hoped that it would scar, actually, so that I could say that I survived a wolf attack. It's still a great story to tell at parties. Minus when you're talking to other werewolves, in which case  _all_  of them have survived wolf attacks and turned into wolves."

Pyre smiled. "How'd it happen? When you got scratched?"

"A chain of events. I had a buddy who had a girlfriend who had a sister who had a best friend who had a boyfriend who had a work buddy who also had a girlfriend who had a college buddy who all turned in reverse order."

Pyre laughed. "How did you remember all  _that?_ "

"We all became a part of the same pack. We all came from the same community, and as one person turned, then another, then another, they all stuck together and eventually made their own pack."

Pyre sipped her drink. "I guess we were both pretty lucky to have good people take us in."

"Yeah. Granted it wasn't easy even so. I killed a little girl during my first turn, before I had been found by the pack. It was terrible."

"I killed a vamp when I was first revived and then killed a man before I got my blood intake and my senses back."

"That…sucks." He paused. "No pun intended."

Pyre stared at him for a moment before breaking into laughter. "That was  _terrible!_ "

"It was an accident!"

"It was perfect!"

They ended up laughing together so hard that their stomachs hurt. Their voices rang out across the tunnels, probably the first time ever since meeting each other that they had laughed with each other.

"So you think you're good?" Wolf asked.

Pyre looked at her empty glass. "I think. Maybe. Fae's blood is certainly…unique. I mean, I've never drank faerie blood before, but I know the others wouldn't give it to me if they thought that it was dangerous."

"We…actually didn't know. Fae said that his blood was potent for potions and elixirs of all kinds, so we figured that if normal blood is good for you, then his would be uber healthy."

"It's…different. Shadowhunter blood is known to be addictive, but Fae's blood is…like a guilty pleasure. It's nice. Like…drinking water all your life - you can have flavored water, maybe, hot or cold, but water all the same - and then suddenly you drink a fruit smoothie, a new consistency, a new flavor, a new texture on your lips." She sighed. "I miss fruit smoothies. Ice cream, cheese, chocolate."

"I miss fast food. Fries. Chips.  _Pizza!_ "

She shoved him lightly. "Lucky. I never got the fast food of this era. The best I can get is the blood of someone who's eaten that stuff, and it is  _not_  the same, trust me."

"Well, how would you know if you've never tasted the original?"

"I did a test back when I had first turned, back when I still remember real food pretty well and was trying to make a substitute."

"Well, food these days is unhealthy as hell but addictive."

She giggled. "How long ago was it?"

"What?"

"Since you turned, since you last ate human food, since you were last… _normal?_ "

He sighed. "It's been…gosh, it's been over a decade. I was in college at the time, I know that. Junior year…or was it sophmore?"

"Did you graduate?"

"Yeah, but it took some time. I had to stop halfway through the year to go with the pack and learn about my new self, learn my transformations, my new diet, and all the fun tricks that come with the scratch. I had to learn about the Downworld, the Shadowhunters, etc. I had to redo the classes I had only gotten a part of the way through and had to train my brain to remember what it was like to be around mundanes, too - keeping the secret and such. What about you? How did you adjust?"

"Once I was taken in by my clan I learned the ropes like you. Back in that era, the world was a little less advanced. It wasn't easy, especially when people found out what you were, but at the same time, all you had to do was move to another state and they had little to no way of keeping track of you. Those were the days, when security was lax and the U.S. was still working out the kinks in its system."

"You were born in the 1800s? Lived through the entire 20th century?"

She nodded. "With the clan on your side, it wasn't hard to become an aristocrat. After that, no one questioned you about anything suspicious again. Even when they did, it was hard to get past the wealth. In those days, wealth could save you from anything, even the accidental murder from a…well, a hungry night out."

"Like The Great Gatsby. I had to read that in college - the rich girl basically abandoned the guy she loved when he takes the blame for her driving over her husband's mistress. In essence: it's complicated. Both of them are cheating on one another, but at the same time, both of them  _kinda_  love each other, and then rich girl kills not-rich girl who her husband was dating or something, and then not-rich girl's husband kills rich girl's boyfriend. Then, she never even comes to his funeral - she just tossed him away and ran from her guilt for the murder, her husband and her getting away with it all and somehow still ending up together."

Pyre nodded. "Well, that was how it was back then. Being wealthy led to all the power in the world. These days, however, the wealthy are practically suspected for everything, and if someone even  _suspects_  that they're responsible for some foul play while hiding behind their money, it's all over the news and the whole country is turned against them."

"How do you prevent people from noticing your lack of aging? I mean, considering how technology has advanced, you'd think that someone would notice."

"You just stay out of sight, move around a lot, and pretend that you're your own descendants. Easy. Too many people ask questions, sneaky plans have to be made, but the clan handles everything. We're governed pretty well. All those unsolved missing cases on TV? Those are vamp cases. Even if you wolves can get control over your transformations, you can still pretend to be normal in the eyes of the mundanes. Vamps can't walk around in the daytime, so they have to disappear or else draw suspicion. There are some who have the right jobs and the right friends and the right circumstances who can get away with never being seen in the day, but it's a risky business that not a lot of us are willing to try. Once even  _one_  skeptic gets suspicious, suddenly you're getting a UV light to the face to prove that you're a vampire and there's nothing you can do about it. Usually those people are blamed for murders because the vamp has to disappear after that. Sometimes a vamp even goes in for an autopsy to be confirmed dead if they need to run. Or sometimes a transformation goes wrong and the vamp is a loose cannon that we have to kill properly. Murders with no suspects, no guilty parties. "

"So you falsely convict people?"

"Those who disrespect someone's privacy enough to find out they're a vamp  _deserve_  to be jailed. You should understand. Haven't any of you wolves gotten close to being caught?"

He shrugged. "Sure, but a little special effects and you can convince anyone that it was just a prank, that the person in question was just going crazy and seeing things. Plus we've got a man or two in the police force, so that helps."

"Well we use encanto to solve many cases, it's just a few go awry and the mundanes begin to remember what they saw  _eventually_. Our clan doesn't like to take the risk. As you saw, mundanes are getting more advanced these days."

Wolf looked down. "Pyre, are you  _sure_  you're okay?"

"I'm fine, I promise."

"You nearly  _died_. Sorry if I assume that's a bit traumatizing for someone who's already faced death once."

Pure twisted the empty glass in her hands. "Back when I was turned, I knew what I was getting into. I never really had that fear of never seeing anyone again, saying goodbye, thinking that if these were my last thoughts, I had to make them count."

Wolf nodded. "That makes sense."

"But I had it this time. That fear, that moment where you know that there's no hope, that split second where you start saying your prayers. You start wondering how many people will miss you, how long it'll take for them to get over you, how soon it'll be before no one, immortal or otherwise, will even care to remember who you are or what your name is anymore. They accept your death as they do all others, and the only way to go on is to forget quickly, to prevent them from mourning."

"We'd never want to forget about you. Lock certainly wouldn't, and I'm sure you have some vamp friends, right?"

She scoffed. "Sure, I have vamp friends, but it's…it's complicated. They are happy go lucky, playing around all the time, never taking anything seriously. They're like that because they push away the feelings. A lot of them are older than me,  _much_  older, probably even older than Lock. After a certain amount of time, there's too much pain to hold on your shoulders, and you have to learn to let go quickly. What do the warlocks call it? Petrifying. I don't want to petrify, neither does anyone else. In turn…well, we live like there's no tomorrow. And we learn not to get attached. It's not easy, it doesn't necessarily make you a good person, but the alternative is too painful to even conceive."

"And Lock?"

"He'd keep mementos, I know that much about him. But he'd have to try and forget too. He's lost good friends, even immortal ones. There are too many to keep track of. If he put a picture of everyone he's been friends with, everyone he's loved, and then lost, his apartment would be filled to the brim. What's he supposed to say about me? ' _That was a vampire girl I was friends with for a while. I couldn't save her, but I'm trying to remember her._ ' All remembering would do is hurt him. I wouldn't want that."

"So you said your goodbyes?"

She nodded. "I thought about Hunter, how'd he'd probably break down crying, but the Clave wouldn't care about his feelings. He'd probably fight to stop that organization, bring up how dangerous it is and how they'd learn about Shadowhunters eventually, but the Clave would just say ' _As long as wel have glamours, they'll never find out anything._ ' But Hunter would try. He'd keep trying until he had nothing left in him, until he died fighting for what he believed in and made  _some_  kind of difference. That kid's lost something in his past, that much is clear, and he was helpless. He won't lose anything else without a fight.

"I thought about Fae, how he would blame himself for not being able to make a difference, how he failed a comrade. He's loyal to his people, but we've become his people too, and he'd hold the scar from my death forever - a scar on his heart, and probably one on his face. He'd feel he needed to be punished, and he'd feel the need to keep a reminder of his failure, proof of how much he cared and how hard it hit him when he failed. Hence the scar. He would probably come to meetings less often, he'd probably retreat to Faerie and kick some monster ass to try and make the pain go away. Or maybe he'd face his pain head on, think that running away was a cowardly thing to do. Who knows? A lot of logic applies to faeries, too much to be certain of their actions. I just know that he'd grieve like the rest of you, for the rest of his life, with that intensity and drama that comes with all of the Fair Folk.

"I told you about Lock, how he'd try to move on without moving on, how he'd face just another death on his long list. I know he means well, and I want to believe that I'm important, but living a couple hundred years, then a thousand, then two - it'll teach you a lesson that only the more recent relations are the ones you can remember. Sad thing about immortals: our memories don't become immortal with us, our  _feelings_. We change, we evolve, and we leave things behind whether we like it or not."

"And me?" Wolf asked carefully.

She dropped her gaze. "I…think you were last. I think I regretted not telling you that I don't hate you."

"I knew that. Every time we argued, I knew the truth."

"Yeah, well I didn't remember that while I was being cooked alive, thank you very much. I guess the last thing that I wanted to do was apologize for being a jerk to you, for never…getting over my issues and being…I don't know, in a stable relationship with you that doesn't involve fighting just to have an excuse to talk because of my pride and lack of social skills. I wished that we had become friends."

"I was afraid that we'd never be friends, that we'd never have a chance to…get to know each other better." He shifted in his seat. "Look, Pyre, I…I've always known that both of us were messed up in our own ways, and that getting along at all is amazing for us - you know, a vamp and a wolf. But…when you were dying, when I thought for a few terrifying minutes that…I'd never get to talk to you again, never get to hear your voice, and never be your actual friend…or maybe  _more_ …I realized how we've been putting off…us…"

She kissed him. It was soft and cold, it tasted slightly of blood, but it made Wolf's mind stop working properly. Besides, he wasn't unfamiliar with the taste of blood - he was a carnivore, after all, who ate his meat fresh.

"We speak of this to no one," she declared.

He nodded blankly. He was afraid if he tried to speak, no words would come out.

"We'll get better," she said, leaning back with her blanket around her.

"Maybe we will," he managed.

She smiled. "Yup."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title inspired by "Say Something," by Anna Blue and Damien Dawn.


	12. Baby, I Don't Wanna Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter that I'm posting now and I'm still gonna post the next longer and more important chapter on Sunday (hopefully I'll remember to do so). You know that it's bad when 4,000 words is considered a 'short' chapter.
> 
> I don't often do this, but the title of the chapter is based on the song in the story. Usually I try not to do that (in this story, at least) but I mean, I'm out of ideas for this chapter.

" _I want you for a lifetime_ ,  
" _So if you're gonna think twice_ ,  
" _Baby, I don't wanna know_ ,  
" _Baby, I don't wanna know_.

" _Everything is just right_ ,  
" _But if you're gonna think twice_ ,  
" _Baby, I don't wanna know_ ,  
" _Baby, I don't wanna know_.

" _I want you for a lifetime~_ "

"Whoa, voice crack!"

Hunter cleared his throat as the others laughed, Fae cracking a smile.

"Whoo, that note is at the top of my range. I even warmed up, too."

"Well, you said so yourself that it was a song sung by a girl," Pyre pointed out.

"Think you could do better?" Wolf challenged.

"Obviously. I'm a woman."

While the two of them went at it, Lock rolled his eyes and turned back to Hunter. "The guitar part seems more important than the lyrics. Coming from the 300 year old unprofessional but experienced eye, I saw you were putting more effort into the instrument than your singing."

Hunter looked down at his guitar. "Yeah. The song's meant to be played on a piano, but I did my best to mimic it. Chords are really all I've learned how to play, so I make the net sound at each part, but these chords change so fast that I need a lot more time to practice. Pianos are easier to use multiple fingers with at a time."

"How does this pee-ann-o work?" Fae asked.

Hunter blinked. "Oh, well…it's a bunch of strings pulled tight, kinda like the guitar but a lot bigger and a lot stronger. You press down certain keys to have a little mallet hit the strings under tension and it makes a sound based on the size of the wire, again, like how the guitar has different sizes of strings for higher or lower notes. There's really no way to explain it all with words, but I have a piano at the Institute that I can sometimes get access to when I haven't got my parents around to spy on me. Institutes have music rooms, even if my father doesn't like me using ours."

Fae looked at the guitar, before looking to his left hand and wiggling his fingers.

"Guys, don't start arguing about this," Lock said, moving to Pyre and Wolf and forgetting about Hunter and Fae.

"My Hunter," Fae muttered, looking up to meet his eyes. "May I…might I request your instrument?"

"Huh? Oh, sure. But why?"

Hunter handed over his guitar with a slight reluctance. He rarely ever trusted it to anyone else's hands, mostly because he was afraid that something would happen to it. He'd had his guitar broken before, he didn't want something to happen to it again. But he trusted Fae, he knew the faerie's hands were delicate and graceful when they wanted to be.

Fae took the instrument and set it on his lap, mimicking how he'd seen Hunter play countless times. He was at a different angle than he usually saw the instrument from and had to focus, having trouble wrapping his hand around to put his fingers in position, but he felt Hunter's fingers gently wrap around the neck of the guitar and rest on top of his, moving the faerie's into the correct places.

"Now strum across all of the strings, top to bottom," Hunter commanded softly.

Fae did so, moving his thumb down as he'd imagined doing so before. The sound that came out wasn't exactly what Fae had expected - flat, sharp, whichever Hunter would call it, but either way it certainly didn't sound appealing. Hunter removed his hand from Fae's and readjusted Fae's fingers. He plucked the strings individually, before strumming them all together at the neck so that the sound was quiet.

"Put more pressure on your index finger. This one." Fae shifted his hand so that he could follow Hunter's instructions. "Spread your middle and ring finger just a bit." He did so again, his hand straining at the new feeling. Hunter chuckled. "You don't have any calluses."

"It is a trait of my kind."

"Well it might make the strings hurt your fingers."

"I have coped in the past. All my life. I've not trouble from pain."

"Okay. Well, you might wanna wrap your hand around a little more to give your fingers more room. Don't touch the strings where you're not supposed to or it could ruin the sound. The vibrations of the strings are key. Now, for this note, you're gonna use three fingers like…this. You're going to avoid strumming the top string."

Fae followed his instructions and played the note. It came out wrong again, but Fae, determined, adjusted the instrument in his lap and repositioned his fingers. He strummed and moved his fingers multiple times, picking at each string individually to see which ones sounded wrong, and then moving the corresponding finger or a finger that might be touching one when it shouldn't. His index was the hardest, since he was supposed to be putting it on the second string up but it kept getting squished down to interfere with the bottom one.

He finally strummed and the note came out clearly, even if it wasn't perfect. Hunter smiled and placed his hands on top of Fae's again, showing him how to play another note.

"I looked a couple notes up online and went from there, but for the most part, these are completely made up."

"To contrive such an intricate system for this device is astounding."

"It just takes a little trial and error to see what makes what sound. Now, let me show you one of the first songs I made. It shouldn't be too hard for you. You just need to figure out how the guitar feels in your hand and the notes will come easier and easier. You'll be a professional in no time."

Hunter began to show Fae a series of notes to play, smiling at the proximity required to do so and the excuse to rest his hand on Fae's. He rested against Fae as he practiced, giving small tips but nothing too important. He simply relaxed against Fae's warmth (probably inconveniencing him by leaning on his arm) taking in the smell of a campfire and the gentle movements of Fae's muscles as he shifted. He wasn't muscular, he didn't get proper nutrients in the Hunt even though he was a good hunter - Gwyn wanted all of his men on the edge and prepared for starvation - but even so, Hunter liked sitting beside him. This was perfect, this was all he needed.

Fae started getting faster at learning how his fingers should be positioned, and Hunter couldn't help but smirk at the way his face scrunched up in concentration, his brow creasing and his nose occasionally twitching in a huff when things started getting irritating. Hunter started hearing proper notes coming out as Fae started to form a song, one chord at a time. It wasn't long before Hunter actually paid attention and realized Fae was playing a song that Hunter hadn't taught him - it was the song Hunter had been playing earlier -  _Don't Think Twice_. Hunter blinked in surprise as Fae started playing the cyclic tune, just a few chords up and down that repeated again and again before Fae actually started to hum the beat of the lyrics.

Fae was inexperienced when it came to singing, but it didn't take much effort to hum to the rhythm. He was even smart about it and shifted the pitch down so that it was more suited to a male voice, getting the intervals up and down between notes correct and even slightly moving his head to the beat. It was the most adorable thing Hunter had ever seen.

Hunter kissed him, right then and there, cupping his face to turn it at the right angle. Hunter felt as Fae went through stages - first surprise as he stiffened, then acceptance as he relaxed again to reciprocate, then resistance as he pulled back and slipped his hand out from under the guitar to grip Hunter's wrist tightly, his eyes filled with panic that Hunter hadn't expected.

"My Hunter, we are not alone," he said urgently.

It admittedly took Hunter longer than it should have to process what Fae had said, before he gasped and jumped back, as though Fae had suddenly burst into flames. He was afraid to look, but raised his eyes over to where Lock, Pyre, and Wolf were standing in a circle (or triangle, really), huddled close as the three of them argued about something in hushed tones. Even Lock had a scowl on his face as he joined in the debate between both Pyre and Wolf, who seemed to have tried ganging up on him with a common enemy. They were engrossed in their squabble and it didn't  _seem_  as though any of them were in a position to break off and look over to Hunter or Fae.

Fae stared at them, probably listening in with his faerie ears. Hunter just happened to not have a rune to enhance his hearing on that day, and it would've felt inappropriate to specifically put one on just to eavesdrop. Fae raised an eyebrow at something he heard, but then shook his head to clear his expression once more.

"What's up?" Hunter asked him.

"It appears they are speaking of something within their pasts that I have no recollection of. Pyre and Wolf were both clients of Lock before we formed our group. As such, they have their own relationships that I have no right to pry upon."

"What did you hear?"

"Mere references to a history I know naught of. In any case, I surmise they have not the concentration to focus upon our actions. I advise you to take more caution in the future."

Hunter's head fell. "I'm sorry, Fae."

"Give no such apologies through your speech. Do not allow your focus to waver with this mishap as your guide and I shall be forgiving."

Hunter gave a small smile. "Deal. So…how did you learn that song? I didn't teach it to you."

Fae shrugged. "I merely observed the positioning of your hands over the course of our relationship and mimicked your actions. I remembered how you performed and did so myself."

"It was incredible. You learned to play guitar just by watching with just a little instruction to get started."

Fae looked down at the instrument. "I have grown to observe and master abilities with haste as a means of survival. Should I falter in any skill, often I am met with only punishment."

Hunter sighed. "You're too good for me."

Fae smiled sadly. "No, my Hunter. I am far from good."

"What makes you think that?"

"What you saw, during our previous incident in Faerie, was merely a fraction of the cruelty I hold within my heart, what I must resort to if I wish to survive. As I have said before, there are things that I have done in my past that…you would find repulsive. There are secrets I wish never to share, ones that might threaten my life and how you and the others shall perceive me."

"Fae." Hunter rested his hand on the faerie's. "No matter what you are or what you've done, none of us will look down on you.  _I_  won't see you  _any_  differently. You do what you have to. It's not your fault you're a faerie, it's not you who made living in Faerieland what it is. You have your reasons, and I know you wouldn't do anything bad with no rationale. You saved me the day we met without a second thought. The Cold Peace hadn't been in play, sure, but faeries and Shadowhunters still weren't on the best of terms. You didn't have to worry about me that day, you didn't have to follow me into the building or up to the roof, and you didn't have to catch me."

"My steed ceased your descent," Fae corrected.

Hunter chuckled. "Yeah, but you  _ordered_  him to. You have a kind heart; you're not evil just because you've been pushed and pulled all your life, trying to survive and help those you care for. You don't have to tell me anything, but even if you did, it wouldn't change a thing. Whatever you're worried about me, or anyone else, learning makes you afraid because you're a good person - you regret being forced into that situation and you know it was wrong."

Fae dropped his gaze. "Perhaps your former statement should belong to me. Your heart is much too pure for mine."

Hunter shrugged and moved to sit beside Fae again, taking his hand. "I guess we're both good in our own ways, so we balance each other out."

Fae smiled. "I suppose that statement rings quite true."

Hunter nodded and moved back to seeing what other songs Fae had memorized.

Though he wouldn't speak the words aloud because he knew that there was no point in arguing with an optimist human, especially Hunter Hopeful here, Fae still knew that Hunter would have mixed feelings at best when he learned the truth about Fae's past. He knew that Kieran would hate him without any shadow of a doubt - especially because Fae had kept it hidden all these years. Anyone who ever learned faced a swift death, all but Gwyn, who figured the truth out on his own and still accepted Fae because he was a good fighter with good intentions. Fae trusted Gwyn as his elder and a leader, but though Fae told himself that he wouldn't mind if Kieran resented him, he still couldn't find a way to tell Kieran the truth.

He was afraid. He wished that he could deny it, even to himself inside his own thoughts, but he couldn't. He was terrified of his past and fearful his future when it would finally be revealed.

* * *

Fionn stared down at the volcano in front of him. So Gwyn wanted him to get a special gem or something that was guarded by a dragon. Just great. Well, at least Fionn's talents proved useful here. He walked across the fiery lava without much reaction to the heat. If anything, it was comforting. Even his wounds upon his back began to numb as though healing, as though they no longer existed. The rest of the world was a cold, cold, place. Fionn shivered when the sun went down during summer, let alone when it snowed. When it snowed, Fionn would stand in a fire just to stop his body from shutting down.

Fionn strolled through the caves, lava and molten rock surrounding him. He wondered how Hunter was doing. Then again, he was  _always_  wondering about Hunter these days. It had gotten progressively easier to weave his way around topics that might lead to their relationship. Even Hunter was pulling off lies without stuttering anymore. Now that he thought about it, Hunter had told him that his parabatai ceremony was coming up soon - since he would turn 19 in a week, maybe less now, and they had to move quickly. Fionn wondered the consequences of Hunter having a parabatai. Would they be able to know about Hunter's relationships, his meetings with the Downworlders? Would they sense whenever Fionn was there because Hunter knew? If Hunter trusted this person enough to become a parabatai with them, then Fionn had no choice but to put his trust in Hunter.

The fiery cave went on as Fionn searched for the deepest part, where the magical gems would be located, as well as the guardians and residents of the cave. The volcanic cave was nice and warm, but even Fionn was getting tired of it at this point. He sensed that there were monsters inside, but none of them seemed to want to approach him or even show themselves. Fionn had kneeled down to the bubbling lava when he saw something move within, but it had quickly dived under and away.

When Fionn finally made it to a large cavern surrounded by red crystals. Fionn looked around and didn't see any monsters, so he shrugged and kneeled, pulling out a hunting knife and attempting to cut through the rock. His knife failed to do little more than scratch it, so he pulled out his Io and wrapped the string around one of the pieces, giving it one tug as the indestructible material sliced through with ease. He repeated this process, filling a bag with the crystals that Gwyn had instructed him to completely stock.

Fionn was, of course, on alert, so when he felt the slight rumbling in the ground, he stood and turned just in time to get a large blast of fire to the…well, to the everything. He was completely engulfed in flames, but luckily he'd long since learned how to concentrate and keep anything he was touching from turning to ashes as well (there were a few incidents where his clothes had been burned away, and though he wasn't bashful, he found it was an annoyance he was content at avoiding). The fire was less of a problem than it was a minor inconvenience. If he focused, he could see through the flames to its source: the mouth of a very large and probably very angry dragon creature. Just Fionn's luck. He debated whether he should fight this battle or simply flee. It wasn't cowardice, he just wanted to take the crystals and leave the wildlife alone - it wasn't as though the dragon was at fault for protecting its home.

When the raging inferno came to an end, Fionn felt a small wave of cold. And he was just getting used to the nice heat.

" _What are you supposed to be?!_ " a loud booming voice demanded. " _No fire protection can withstand my flames!_ "

Another wave of fire came in, which was really more like a small breeze of hot air to Fionn.

"I am-" he tried, but the next blast came immediately after.

He waited out a few more attempts at melting him or cooking him to a crisp before there was a long pause.

"Are you sated?" Fionn asked.

Maybe it was just Fionn, but he could've sworn the dragon rolled its eyes. " _Ugh, mortals get ever more annoying by the century._ "

" _Darling, what are you doing?_ "

Another dragon came walking into view, this one only slightly smaller and walking with an air of superiority. Her voice sounded female compared to the flame-thrower one, so Fionn assumed they were a couple.

" _Oh, Nix, it's been a while,_ " she said, with significantly less hostility than her mate.

" _Nix?_ " said mate asked. " _He doesn't look like Nix. Wait a minute_ …"

The female smacked her tail against his head in one swift motion. " _You always think with your fire first. Sorry, Nix. I suppose 50 years is a little too much for his pea brain to remember._ "

"Um…my name is not Nix," Fionn said awkwardly.

" _Oh, what do you go by now?_ "

"I…well, I am Fionn, but…I have never been known as Nix previously."

The female dragon walked up to him and stuck her nose close to sniff him. " _Hm…I wonder…how old are you?_ "

"I count by the decade, and I believe four have passed in faerie time. Although my excursions outside and in to faerie prove to make my age a complicated matter. Especially since I have joined the Wild Hunt - where we go where fate takes us."

" _Oh, we know about the Hunt,_ " the male dragon drawled. " _Gwyn's iffy, but the rest of those nutters under his command have no respect. They just walk right in here and expect_ not  _to get burnt to a crisp. Why do they even want these crystals, anyway? At this point, I'm just protecting them because others seem to think that they're valuable - and I don't like people who barge in here because they feel entitled getting what they want._ "

" _Yes, and you've done a wonderful job at burning them to ashes, darling,_ " the female said. " _But this is Phoenix. The saying about fighting fire with fire is just idiotic in theory and in practice. In any case, it seems you are going through your cycle once more. I am Teine and this is Lasair. We are Draco-Infernians. You are Phoenix, youngest of the Infernians._ "

"What cycle do you speak of that makes me this Phoenix?" Fionn asked.

Teine sat down, crossing her two front legs casually. " _I'm afraid I'm unable to tell you more. I fear I have spoken of too much already. You yourself must always be the one to learn of your origins as you grow, as it has always been. Suffice to say, we are gods ruling over certain domains. My husband and I are part Draconian and part Infernian, if it wasn't clear. If you ever need help, don't be afraid to come to us for assistance. We can't help with your memory - that's something you have to learn yourself - but if you unlock your powers, we can maybe teach you._ "

"Um…you have my thanks."

" _I don't understand why you even go through the cycle, anyway,_ " Lasair murmured. " _What's the point of being in those weak bodies at all?_ "

" _It must keep the excitement in their lives,_ " Teine suggested, before looking back to Fionn. " _In any case, you came for crystals, no? And I see you've collected your share._ "

"Yes, I…I must take my leave," Fionn said. "I give you my thanks for your aid."

Fionn bowed as Teine nodded her head and then expanded her wing to smack Lasair into doing the same. When Fionn left the crystal room, he quickly hurried away down the paths. Phoenix…it sounded foreign and yet still familiar. Infernians meant fire, obviously, and so perhaps that  _would_  explain Fionn's natural prowess over flames, much stronger than any other faerie he'd encountered. There were powerful mages out there, of course, but it usually took a very long time and a good deal of training to get to Fionn's level of skill. Fire had always come naturally to him, it had never been draining. Sure, he hadn't tried anything too drastic in a long time, but he wasn't out of practice, either.

As Fionn left the nice warm volcanic land, he pondered the ramifications of him being some sort of deity. As he thought back, he realized that there was a story he'd once heard the word 'Infernians' in. The Astrals were a children's tale, and though some believed them to be real, many were afraid to admit so. The Infernians were just one of many different categories of Astrals, Draconians being another. Each were masters of a certain area of expertise, the Infernians being different types of fire and the Draconians being dragons. There were Astrals of ice, water, wind, lightning, nature, life, death, and probably more than were on record. And Fionn was supposed to be the Infernian Phoenix.

Fionn reported in to Gwyn, handing over the bag of fire crystals. "Might I inquire the reason you are in need of such rocks?" Fionn asked.

"I owe a favor to a witch that requested the mineral, though none have been capable of traversing the treacherous terrain, nor defeat the guardians. It seems I was correct in assuming your capabilities extended to fire and lava immunity."

Fionn frowned. "Might I ask what your plans were should your hypothesis have be proven false?"

"I have confidence in your survival capabilities. You would have done all you could to accomplish your mission, and you would have the wisdom to know when you must retreat."

Fionn rolled his eyes, a key skill he had learned from Pyre when one was annoyed but wished not to speak all of the absurd reasons why - instead opting for a single gesture - and finished his report before departing. He considered the ramifications of being an Infernian once more, staring down at his hand as he summoned a small flame.

Questions swirled through his head. If he was an Infernian, why had he never known before? Why had he been born to a water nixie of all creatures? Did it explain why he was so uncomfortable as himself? The Astrals were ancient, but Fionn was barely half a century old. If this cycle thing had anything to do with lost memories, it meant that Fionn had some training to do. He had to grow stronger, figure out who he was, and hope that it didn't change everything about him for the worse.

Who knows what kind of person he was before?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Don't Think Twice' is from Kingdom Hearts 3 (It has been ten years! Gimme da game already!)
> 
> Edit: The game has come out as of the transfer from Fanfic to Ao3. Yay!


	13. These Other Thorns Are Rosy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp, this happened.
> 
> Turns out that this wasn't the long chapter that I was worried about, it's the next one, but I'm too lazy to put this one and the last one into a single chapter, so here we go, double update!
> 
> *Sighs* I just realize how much extra stuff I put into this story for the details. I mean, really. We haven't even gotten to the part that I based this entire story on! *Shakes head in a disappointed manner* and now I've come up with a serious plot for the sequel of this damn story. This was supposed to be nothing but fluff and a little torturing of my characters because I'm evil, and now I have an actual plot diverging even further from the cannon storylines than I had intended. But Cassandra Clare, you be so evil with your characters! Putting us together is painful for me, who likes torturing my characters (wow, I am…bad. A bad person. Just evil).
> 
> And then I based the chapter of this story over Panic! At the Disco! Why am I like this?! (But damn are their songs catchy. Music videos are a bit sketchy, but the songs are so addictive!)

Fionn sat at his shelter, no tarp up because there wasn't a need that day, and pulled the elf-bolt he had been making out. He started feeding more energy into it, causing the arrowhead to continue to slowly grow. He had been working on the present for weeks now, a good deal of the work getting completed during his three weeks of incapacitation from his 60 whip-lashes.

Now, he concentrated and sharpened the tip to fade from the bright yellow to a blank white vanilla. He fed more energy in to the elf-bolt, causing it to expand to become larger than a regular one. The color scheme remained the same, but now the bolt was at least 1.5 times bigger than a normal one, maybe twice as big, but Fionn didn't care about the math. It wasn't meant to be used as an actual arrow, in any case. The new issue remain in what material he would make the string out of. He didn't want Hunter to lose it in an important battle.

The only indestructible string he could think of was from him Io. He held up his right hand with the arm bracer on it, made out of the metal of his Io, and then summoned his weapon, the magic minerals shifting and releasing it from his accessory. He had a mental debate with his Io, as it didn't seem pleased handing over some of its string - even though the wire was magic and infinite. Even once he'd finally convinced his Io that he could take a piece of the indestructible material, the problem remained of how he was supposed to break off a chunk to make the necklace if it was unbreakable.

"You are a…a…a  _jerk_ ," Fionn muttered to his Io, using his friends' slang and hoping he'd used it correctly.

The Io made a mental huff. Honestly, it was just as bad as Zoltan.

Fionn carved a path through the base of the elf-bolt for the string and then extended the cord from his Io and willed it to slide through. After another long argument with his partially-sentient weapon, he took out his knife - a special enchanted/cursed blade that was the only weapon he could think of that could bend the laws of physics enough to make a difference - and cut through the string, slamming it down with all his strength. The Io's invincible wire snapped, but it snapped with much more force than Fionn had expected, as though it had been under great tension when it had really been sitting limp. Fionn was thrown back from a small and suddenly blast of power from the broken cord, feeling a sting on his cheek.

Fionn wiped the blood from his face. "You truly are a 'jerk.'"

He grabbed his Io and retracted the string, feeling his weapon's annoyance at its lost piece. He sheathed it and moved to grab the elf-bolt with the cord. He touched the enchanted string and found it was still working despite being detached from its source, and so he willed it to extend to the proper length and then sealed it together seamlessly.

He sighed, trying to block out his Io's mental complaining and frustration. Though he couldn't hear actual words, his Io was expressing its feelings by bugging Fionn from the inside. His horse and his Io seemed to have a competition of who could annoy Fionn the most - and sometimes they even teamed up against him. Taming the two of them was considered a great honor and symbol of strength. Little did anyone know the all-powerful Io weapon and the magical untamable horse Zoltan were just overdramatic angsty creatures who, though accepting Fionn as their master, made it their life goal to spite him.

Fionn tried to figure out how he was supposed to give the elf-bolt to Hunter. He'd never given a present before, not unless all his deeds to protect his brother counted as gifts. Was he supposed to put it in a box? Should he just hand it over? Was he supposed to say something to clarify it was a boon of his love and devotion to Hunter? Was this supposed to be this complicated?

His Io didn't help, taking the opportunity to mess with his emotions and picking on him to remind him of the lovesick fool that he had transformed into. He considered chucking his Io off a cliff and leaving it at the bottom of the nearest ocean where Fionn sure wasn't going to recover it any time soon. He hated water, especially cold water. No one could ever bathe in the same body of water with him because he heated the water beyond tolerable levels for anyone but himself - and that included the natural wildlife in the area as well.

He fiddled with the elf-bolt in his hand, knowing that he wanted Hunter to understand his feelings but unsure of how to proceed. Out of his nervousness, he began weaving his magic into making a second, identical elf-bolt. He had no intention of finishing it, but he continued his craft until his magic ran out, the wave of fatigue that took over enough to drown out his worrying insecurities.

The next day, he told himself that he would go to the meeting grounds and just hand Hunter the present, no turning back, no regrets, no overthinking. But as time went on and he rode with the Hunt, waiting for the day to come to an end and his opportunity to flee to arise, he began to reconsider. When the Hunt finally settled down for rest, he paced beside the fire he had made, Zoltan getting impatient and asking him if they were going or not. Fionn told him that they were going, but at the same time, he stalled mounting his steed, fiddling with the second elf-bolt in his hands before Zoltan finally stormed away in a huff.

Fionn sighed and laid down on his cloak that he had spread on the ground. This shouldn't be so hard. He'd challenged monsters that some had considered blessed - or curse - by the gods with their power. He'd raised Kieran since his brother was born, under the watchful eye of their father, no less. He'd tamed Zoltan, the strongest and most bloodthirsty steed in all of Faerie, and mastered his Io, one of the most passive-aggressive and bitchy sentient weapons that no one alive had been able to properly use before. Yet Fionn was laid low by a simple paramour.

Fionn continued wasting his magic on the second elf-bolt to drown out his irrational feelings. Even as he finally gathered the courage to go to the meeting grounds, he stuttered in his attempt to come up with the words to give Hunter his gift and by that point the others had showed up and prevented him from just shoving the elf-bolt at Hunter in anger.

Fionn collapsed at the makeshift camp he and his brother were at for a Hunt and roared in frustration at the sky, Zoltan staring down at him. If the horse were capable, he knew that Zoltan would be rolling his eyes. The horse settled on making a scoffing sound and pacing in a scolding manner - or possibly a ' _I can't believe_ you  _possibly tamed me, this is an insult_ ' manner.

"Shut up," Fionn murmured, his arm resting over his eyes.

His norse nickered in response. His Io made even more complaints about its string going to waste, and Fionn wallowed in his miserable state. Stupid emotions, turning him into this when he was in love. He knew he was in over his head and things would turn disastrous if he consented to loving Hunter, but here he was. He needed to get control over his feelings if he hoped to survive. The first step was overcoming this simple and basic challenge.

The next night, he had to do it, he decided. He would call Hunter to the meeting grounds and no one else. He would do this.

He finished his second elf-bolt by the time he'd finally make true to his personal promise. Well, at least now he and Hunter would both have one. Now it could be even more symbolic.

- _ **TFOT**_ -

When Hunter arrived at the meeting grounds, Fae was looking anxious.

"Something wrong?" Hunter asked nervously.

Fae had his arms held behind him formally, clearing his throat first before walking forward. Was he going to be announcing something bad or embarrassing? Had someone else found out about them?! Even if it were just Lock, Pyre, and/or Wolf, that would be mortifying, but dangerous if it was anyone else. Well, maybe not Merida or Selina, but - wait, did Fae meet  _them?!_

"I have…I…" Fae struggled to find the words, which Hunter figured should happen more often with faeries since they couldn't lie and had to pick their words carefully, but no, they were masters at saying what they needed to without even a moment's hesitation.

That made Fae's stuttering all the more worrisome. Fae was the most composed person Hunter knew. He wasn't easily flustered, jokes couldn't be made at his expense because he took everything literally, and even when he showed humorous traits to Hunter and the others, to him it was simply natural to be dramatic. Even as they had been dating, Fae was better at keeping the secret than Hunter, lying without  _lying_ , remaining completely calm despite having made out with Hunter not two seconds previous, and fixing himself to look completely natural even after Hunter completely ruined him. Hunter found it very unfair.

Still, it was worth it when he saw Fae break his stoic demeanor, smile, even laugh when Hunter got flustered. They were still playing it off easily as Fae complimenting Hunter on his musical talents - which was completely true, that  _did_  get him into an embarrassed state - but he knew it was only a matter of time before someone found out about them. After all, the others could sense when the two of them were in the meeting grounds. It was, however, the only place they could both get to on short notice and it wasn't safe for Fae to be anywhere else - especially when meeting with a Shadowhunter (not to mention one he was secretly dating).

"I…here!"

Fae gave up his attempt at speaking and simply pulled out what he had behind his back in his hands. He pulled out what looked to be the head of an arrow, clear, as if made of glass, but a range of colors - the base being a dark purple, close to midnight black, and fading to brighter colors: a flaming red, a blazing orange, a warm yellow, and then white at the sharp and deadly tip. It was strung up to make a necklace with a cord of some natural substance that Hunter couldn't identify.

Hunter found that it was extremely appealing, but he wasn't sure he was understanding this correct. Was Fae giving him a  _gift?_  Him, of all people. It was Hunter that had access to stores of all kinds in the mundane world, and yet here was Fae, beating him to the punch with something more extravagant and heart clenching than anything Hunter could've possibly thought of. Then again, that was only to be expected from a faerie. They were unique, Hunter appreciated their culture, even if he somewhat feared it a bit. They took vows of love seriously, and they took gifts even more seriously, putting all their hearts into it. Faeries were over-dramatic, but dramatic faeries could be cool sometimes.

They treated every peaceful relationship almost like a parabatai bond, they had respect for things that other species might find repulsive. For example, Fae once told him that if he wanted a relationship with his friend Selina (who he didn't mention by name, but Fae knew he was her friend that he cared dearly about) he would be fine with it. FINE WITH IT! He was dating Hunter and he would be fine with him going off and dating someone else in his other life away from him. It proved how much Fae trusted Hunter, but also how much he feared how they wouldn't be compatible forever. Hunter had kissed him and told him, " _There will only ever be you_." Fae had visibly relaxed, despite his previous statement, and Hunter realized that even Fae could get jealous.

Then again, Hunter must've seemed like a loose cannon compared to Fae, because faeries believed in promises over fidelity of body or heart. Physical fidelity was rare, as Fae had explained with Hunter turning red at the thought alone, but one could absolutely demand fidelity of the heart - which faeries often did, with great punishments for breaking a promise of love. Faeries took vows of love seriously, but humans weren't like that. They cheated, they lied, they used relationships and often faked them. They pretended to love even when it wasn't real for other goals, or they claimed love simply because they were afraid of being alone. Even if love is real at first, it often doesn't last forever. It wasn't really their fault - they were simply built that way, making it hard to find true love that never wore off.

Hunter had his doubts about being able to sustain a relationship with a faerie, of not being enough to Fae, of being different and not being able to keep up with Fae's level of dedication and care. That wasn't even taking into account that Fae would most likely live to be hundreds of years old. Time worked differently in Faerie, but their time was limited enough with their relationship being illegal.

So now, as Hunter stood shell-shocked at the fact that Fae had gotten him something so precious, he felt unworthy once again.

"What's…?"

"An elf-bolt. I am ashamed to admit that it is not an original idea to bequeath you with one. My brother made such a gift for his love long ago, and I fear I am not as thoughtful as him when it comes to giving such boons. I have never…I've not given many tokens of love to anyone in the past."

Hunter had heard the stories about faerie traditions and such. Before the war and all the tension, he had already been fascinated with learning about them, though there was only so much information he could gather. He knew a little about elf-bolts, however, though he'd never seen one in real life. Elf-bolts took a great deal of magic to make and were very valuable.

"I-I can't take this from you!" Hunter protested.

"If you do not, I will see it as a rejection of my gift. Do not mistake my benevolence for charity. I give this to you out of my own selfish desire - and my Io was quite unhappy when I suggested to make the cord out of its string."

"Your…wait, your  _Io_  was unhappy?"

He flicked his wrist, his bracer shifting like it was alive to reveal the yo-yo that was his fancy weapon. Now that Hunter got a closer look, he saw that it was a bit fancier than a toy. It was carved with intricate designs in golden script, some merely decorative, others most likely for magical purposes. The body was sharp, looking to be made of some kind of stone and/or crystal, but as Fae held it out, it started shifting in mechanical motions, the sharp edges retracting in folds with new layers coming to the surface and seamlessly covering the jagged parts to be more rounded like a regular, mega expensive yo-yo. The cord was made of a dark green silky-crystal-like substance, matching the one making up the cord of the elf-bolt necklace that Fae was offering, although Hunter noticed that there was no loop for Fae to put his finger into like a regular yo-yo - it was simply the end of the string, magically holding itself in place so that it didn't unravel.

"Yes. It is a magical weapon, you see, and it has a personality of its own. Like Zoltan, it doesn't speak words to me, merely expresses its emotions through psychics. As I told you before, I conquered many challenges that many thought impossible - one was taming the untamable horse, Zoltan, and the other was to master this Io. It was quite displeased when I requested to use some of its indestructible string for the length of the cord. However, this elf-bolt can be used as a weapon as well as an accessory. I ask you to wear it to protect yourself. If anything were to happen to you, my Hunter…I would not be able to know until you did not show up once, twice, again and again, and each encounter you did not arrive to, I would slowly lose a part of myself in my misery."

"Fae…"

"But I have no right to impart such guilt upon you, for I myself may face an untimely end and you would feel the same pain I imagine that I would."

Hunter took his hand and held it in both of his. "Bad thoughts lead to bad futures. Don't say such things, don't even think about them."

Fae gripped Hunter's hand and squeezed it gently as Hunter's two sandwiched his one. "That is a lesson I should've learned long ago, but you seem to have a regressing affect on me. Forgive my ineptitude in your presence."

Hunter laughed. " _You're_  ineptitude? I'm a stuttering mess when I'm with you, and you're calm and collected no matter what seems to happen."

"Your humble nature is enduring. Yet I am entrusting you with this elf-bolt because I do not care."

He waved his hand with the elf-bolt between his fingers, slicing it through the concrete wall in one swift move. He then slowly put it in front of Hunter, showing that the blade hadn't dulled in the slightest. "It shall slice through even the toughest of materials without fail."

What happened next may have been the result of carelessness or misunderstanding. After all, to the wrong eyes it would easily look like Fae was threatening Hunter with the demonstration of the elf-bolt's capabilities. Their clasped hands could be seen as Fae holding Hunter's shirt threateningly while Hunter's two hands were working to get himself free, if one saw them from behind Hunter. Unfortunately, one did. Two, to be precise.

"Get away from him!"

Fae was so surprised that he didn't have time to react to the arrow that came soaring his way. It hit his cheek at a harsh angle, digging deep before ricocheting away. Fae stumbled back, dropping the elf-bolt and hissing in pain. Iron-tipped arrows.

He managed to see two Shadowhunters charging at him, jumping back out of range as one with a sword stopped to kneel down to Hunter. "Are you okay?" Fae heard her ask gently.

"I'm fine. Don't hurt him, Mer. He did nothing wrong!"

The second one, with the bow, stayed beside them but wasn't listening to the encounter or Hunter's pleas, firing another arrow, but this time, Fae was prepared. He unleashed his Io, expanding the string and spinning it around faster than momentum should've allowed him in such a short amount of time to create a shield. He was fast enough to have gotten the shield at full speed before the arrow had reached him, slicing the arrowhead off upon impact and sending both the sharp iron and the feathered stick flying back.

He threw the Io forward, and the Shadowhunter with the bow attempted to dodge, but they were in a small tunnel and she realized rolling out of the way wasn't an option until it was too late. Luckily, Fae had predicted this and his Io wrapped around her bow instead of harming her, before he jerked his hand back and the Io wrenched the weapon out of her hand and brought it back to him. He didn't dare touch the weapon directly since it was glowing with angelic energy, instead dropping it on the ground beside him, putting his foot on the riser, grabbing his hidden knife, and thrusting it downwards, snapping the string instantly without even looking down to aim his throw.

The Shadowhunter girl that had lost her bow looked shocked. "H-How did…you bastard!"

Fae gave a knowing smile. "Indeed."

The other girl that had kneeled beside Hunter stood and charged forward with a battle cry. "Merida, wait!" Hunter shouted, but she was already charging with no intention of stopping.

Fae calmly allowed her to approach, sidestepping her swing despite her Nephilim speed and wrapping his Io around her sword smoothly as he dodged. He took advantage of her anger and surprise at not making contact by spinning around her and then kicking the small of her back, sending her to the ground. He still had a grip on his Io, which was wrapped around her sword, and so as she fell with it in her grip - determined not to drop it - Fae tugged at his Io in one sharp jerk to snap the blade in half. Fae heard the collective gasps of all three Shadowhunters, but kept his focus and didn't let the victory lower his guard.

"Selina, no!"

Fae turned just in time to dodge an arrow being jabbed in his direction like a sword, the archer who lost her bow simply using the arrows in her quiver because they had iron. Fae could feel the nauseating effects from how close she had come to striking him, and acted quickly as he grabbed her wrist and twisted her arm back behind her at a painful angle, the sound of a bone cracking accompanying a small scream that she muffled as quickly as she could. Fae pushed her down on top of her other friend, who Fae was restraining with a foot pushing down on her back and on her dominant sword arm - her right. He leaned his weight on her, and though he didn't weight as much as the average man of his size could, he knew how to utilize his weight properly. He also used the archer's weight on top of it, pushing her down and restraining the two together. There were muffled sounds of protests, and Fae knew that he wouldn't be able to keep both girls down for a very long time - they were better fed and built relative to their sizes and they were angered at their quick defeat. But Fae cared little for that at the moment. He had them down, for now, and that was enough.

"Hunter, are you unharmed?"

He heard Hunter scrambling to his feet and a light scraping that indicated he'd picked up the lost elf-bolt. "I'm fine, Fae! Please, don't hurt them! They're my family! They didn't mean any harm-"

"I would have to argue that statement."

"I mean they didn't know any better! Please, just let me talk to them!"

Fae hesitated for a long moment, but eventually, he released the two of them and took a step back. "This will have consequences."

"I trust them."

Just as he was saying that, the girl with the sword - Merida, was it? - picked up the dropped arrow that the archer had lost when Fae had restrained her and moved to stab Fae's hand, sinking the arrowhead into his forearm and causing him to scream out and fall back.

"Merida, STOP!" Hunter snapped.

He shoved her back and kneeled next to Fae, who had fallen against the tunnel wall. Fae's eyes were unfocused, as though he couldn't see anything in front of him. He was quickly losing color in his skin and instead turning a shade of pale green, like he was becoming sick. Iron was toxic to faeries, he knew, but the definition of 'toxic' had never really sunk in. Not until now.

"Fae? Fae, look at me."

Fae's eyes worked hard to focus on his.

"You're gonna be all right."

Fae managed a chuckle. "Liar."

"Shut up and save your strength. I'm gonna pull this out, okay? One, two, three!"

He pulled the arrow out, but was horrified to see that the arrowhead had broken off. Wrought iron, he realizing. It wasn't properly made because the iron hadn't been forged specifically into an arrowhead. It was carved by hand and came off the arrow shaft easily - which was actually beneficial in a battle because the faerie wouldn't be able to remove it once it was in this exact scenario.

"Dammit! Okay, okay, we just need to-"

"Stop…my Hunter."

"What?"

Fae shoved him back weakly with his good arm and then moved his hand to his bleeding forearm. With a sickening squish, he dug his fingers into his forearm - suppressing a shout as much as he could but still crying out in the echoing tunnels - and after a few moments of digging around, he pulled out the arrowhead and tossing it away, his fingers covered in blood and looking blistered.

"I could…use the help now," he conceded.

Finn jumped into overdrive, pulling his shirt off and tearing it into strips to create a few bandages. He held Fae's injured forearm and squeezed the wound shut while using the other hand to wipe away all the blood he could. He switched cloths a couple times to soak up all the dark liquid, before then started to actually wrap the strips tightly, using up the rest of the bandages he'd made before tying them off.

"Are you okay?"

Fae shook his head weakly. "Not at all, but I will survive, no doubt. However, this will be a hard injury to explain - especially where I got these bandages from. This fabric does not exist in Faerie."

"We can call Lock. He can heal you up, right?"

"I believe he is not far. The question remains of why he is not already-"

"Do not harm the faerie!"

Lock came sprinting through a portal, holding Hunter's guitar case in one hand, before seeing what had happened.

"Oh, gods, I'm so sorry, Fae. I didn't know the portal I opened was Hunter's until it was too late, and then I got kicked out of the Institute for not being there for a legitimate reason since  _those two_  didn't inform anyone they were contacting me for aid. I managed to sneak back in, I found your guitar and confirmed my suspicions, and then portaled here as fast as I could."

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Hunter asked.

"Red-head over there said that she and her friend caught a portal closing in her brother's room and were worried he was kidnapped by a warlock - because portals  _always_  mean that it was a warlock kidnapping someone - and so they came to me to ask for help finding out where the portal went and to reopen it for them. Hypocrites."

"We just wanted to know where Finn was going!" the archer protested. "We lied to you about our reasoning. We knew Finn was going somewhere to meet his friends, but we didn't know where it was and we wanted to make sure it wasn't anywhere bad so that if he never came back, we would know his last known location!"

" _Selina_  wanted to know," the red-headed girl who was Hunter's sister protested. "She saw the portal in Finn's room close and asked me, and I had no choice but to tell her. Then she got all freaked that you could be in danger, and that's why we went to the High Warlock!"

"You nearly killed my friend!" Hunter snapped. "I've visited these people a hundred times before and nothing's happened! Why didn't you  _stop_  her, Merida?!"

"I  _tried_ , Finn, but you know how stubborn she is! When the fight started, I thought he was a threat!"

"I told you not to hurt him, that I was fine, and you didn't listen!"

"Hunter, I will live," Fae insisted, the strain in his voice already gone. "This isn't the first time I've dealt with iron poisoning."

"You could've died!"

"I can die any moment of my life, from my birth to my inevitable end, there is no such thing as safety. My father went through a period where he had wrought iron stabbed into me each day for a year to test my resilience. I know how to handle myself when poisoned."

" _What?!_ " Hunter screamed.

"Hmm…perhaps that was not the right story to share."

"That has to have… _terrible_  side effects! There's no such thing as an immunity to iron, is there?"

He shrugged. "Clearly not, considering I am still laid low."

"Lock, can you help him?"

Lock walked over and kneeled down. He put his hand on the cut on Fae's cheek as his bioluminescent green magic flared to life, the same color of his skin. The cut sealed itself, and Lock moved to holding his magic over Fae's arm.

"The poisoning will still take a bit of time to recover," Lock said. "The iron is a natural allergic reaction. I can help with the symptoms, but I'd be careful for at least the rest of today and a good deal of tomorrow, if not all of it."

"Good enough," Hunter sighed.

When Lock finished, he waved his hand and the remains of Hunter's shirt disappeared and then reappeared intact, cleaned, and put back in one piece on its owner.

Hunter helped pull Fae to his feet, and though he wobbled a bit, he stood straight quickly and seemed to be able to balance himself without much effort. He was more than adequate at hiding his pain. Hunter felt a pang of guilt as he realized that Fae must've had to do that a lot.

"Explain to me what happened once more," Fae requested.

"Selina saw a portal closing in Finn's room and asked me about it," Hunter's sister, Merida, began. "She kept prodding and knew that I knew what it was, so I told her you were meeting with Downworlder friends. I didn't tell her one was a faerie, I swear, Finn, but she thought it was dangerous for you and asked where the meeting place was and how you opened a portal to get there. But I didn't know, and so we went to the High Warlock of San Francisco for help in re-opening the portal and/or finding out where it led."

"I was informed that a portal had been seen in their Institute and that they were worried that it was a kidnapping," Lock continued. "So, they took me to there and I sensed that a portal had been opened recently, and it wasn't hard to feed the energy to pop it open again. The two of them instantly jumped through, and I was about to follow, before I noticed a certain guitar case and was stalled for just a few seconds as I examined it closer.  _Then_  I was found out by some fancy Shadowhunter people and they thought I'd used the portal to get  _into_  the Institute and threatened me so I had to leave. It took me a while to finally wait it out for them to leave so that I could get back into the room, confirm the guitar was yours, and then portal here when I realized that it was just you and Fae - which could easily be mistaken as any number of bad things by you racist Shadowhunters."

Hunter gritted his teeth. "I told you to stop," he muttered in a quiet yet dark tone, just barely holding back his flood of rage. "I told you he meant no harm, but you didn't listen. He didn't even try to hurt you. He just disarmed you and tried to restrain you. But you had to go and nearly kill him with an iron arrow.  _You_ , Merida! The one who knew about my friends and who I'd told countless times about how great they were and how nice they were, but how scared they were of being found out!"

"I…I'm sorry, Finn. It was just the moment, everything happened so fast, I thought he'd broken Selina's arm-"

"I merely dislocated it," Fae said.

He walked towards her, and though she was suspicious, he took her arm and snapped it back into proper alignment. She shrieked at the sudden pain, but a moment later, her arm started to feel better and she flexed it carefully to test that it was okay.

"An easy disarming tactic - if your opponent is not versed on how to compensate against the injury on their own. Even if they are, it buys you crucial time in combat. Your Iratze is still recommended for healing, however."

Selina rubbed her arm begrudgingly, but her anger had already begun to fade.

"But you told her, Merida," Hunter continued. "You  _told_  her! What? Because she was annoying? These are lives that you just put at stake! What if the wrong person had overheard you? What if it wasn't Lock who you had open the portal for you?! And you just stood by and let this happen?!"

"To tell you the truth, Finn, I was worried about you too!" Merida protested. "I don't have any idea who these friends of yours are, and-"

"And they make me happy! And they encourage me to pursue my music! And  _you_  have encouraged me to see them more often because you  _know_  that I'm better with them!"

"I was curious, all right?! Selina is going to be your parabatai! She was going to find out eventually, and when she came up with the plan to ask a warlock to re-open the portal, I went along with it because I wanted to meet your friends too! I just expected it to be a friendly encounter! Maybe we would've scared you guys a bit and there'd have to be some explaining to do, promises of secrecy to make, but I wanted to know the people that were helping you so much because I can't do what they do! But then it looks like you're being attacked by that faerie, and Selina charged in for a fight, and then everything just got out of hand! If I could take it back, I would, Finn! I didn't mean…I didn't want to hurt anybody!"

"Fae was giving me a present to encourage me to perform!" Hunter lied, his nerves drowned out by his rage. Besides, it wasn't too far from the truth, really. "He told me things about himself that had to be  _so_  hard to admit, and I was thanking him for trusting me, for helping me, for putting up with my obnoxious self all these years and for never giving up on me!"

He held up the necklace with the elf-bolt.

"An elf-bolt. He said it was for my protection! That I shouldn't be afraid of anything or anyone else while I have it! And you know what? He actually convinced me to perform in front of the others, a real performance with them actually focusing on me and not pretending like I don't exist so that I feel more comfortable! And I was going to do it!"

"That's amazing, Hunt," Lock said. "That explains why you two have been meeting up so often. What did you do, Fae?"

Fae shrugged. "It took much convincing to encourage his growth. It was truly a grueling process, countering each of his self-destructive thoughts, but eventually he performed in front of me alone and managed fine. We were moving slowly, helping him get more experience playing in front of me alone, and then we were going to upgrade eventually."

"And I was becoming better. He was giving me the strength to actually  _do_  something about my feelings, stop bottling it all up inside."

"Finn…" Merida muttered.

"Get them out of here, Lock," Hunter snapped. "Don't ever let them come back to the meeting grounds. Fae, can you get back on your own?"

Fae nodded, walking over and grabbing the broken half of Merida's sword. He tested the weight in his hands, juggling it back and forth, before shrugging. "It shall suffice."

"As what?" Merida asked.

"Spoils of war. I must explain my encounter with a pair of Shadowhunters. There will be no hiding that fact, but I can still refuse to disclose your names. You are insignificant in the long run, I will hope to never see your faces again, and that is what I shall report. Just an incident in the city, a pair of women who attacked me under false pretenses. It will be accepted as a mutual hatred of Shadowhunters after the Cold Peace."

He walked over, retrieving his knife that had snapped Selina's bow's string. It was a hefty hunting knife, the blade black as midnight and almost shimmering with a mauve aura, and as he wrenched it from the cement ground, they all saw how deadly it was. It had dug at least five inches into the concrete, eight inches tall overall and double-edged, about an inch wide. Fae slipped it into his belt, hidden behind a bag and some other gear for hunting. Fae traveled with a myriad of small things around his belt, although Hunter had no idea what most of them were or what they did.

Fae kneeled down, hovering his hand over the bow, before carefully picking it up and then holding it out to Selina. "I believe this is yours, lady of the moon."

Selina blinked, staring at the offered weapon, before looking up at Fae, and then back to her bow. A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she reached out to accept it with a nod. "Thank you."

Hunter slipped the elf-bolt over his head, the cord expanding and shrinking so that it hung directly over the center of his chest. He wrapped his fingers around it, careful of the sharp edges, before slipping it under his shirt.

"You should go, Fae. Lock, if you would?"

Lock nodded, waving his hand to open a portal. Hunter was the first to march through, calling, "Merida, Selina?"

The firm darkness in his voice left no room for debate, and the two girls gathered their weapons before following. Selina looked back at the two of them, her eyes filled with uncertainty as she took in these two Downworlders that had won her friend's trust. After hearing Hunter shout for her, she stepped through, leaving the two of them alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to put the entire phrase as the title, so here it is:
> 
> "Some are loyal soldiers,  
> "While these other thorns are rosy.  
> "And if you never know who you can trust  
> "Then trust me you'll be lonely, oh~"
> 
> The song is "Hey, Look Ma, I Made It," by the way. P!ATD. If you haven't listened to it somehow, go, right now.


	14. I Was Running From an Empty Threat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remembered to update. Yeah!
> 
> :)

Finn was walking through the Institute with Selina. "Where were we going again?" she asked.

"Uh…the library," Finn said. "I think. Parabatai stuff, remember?"

They walked into the library. Did it look different? Hey, look, a statue!

A marble statue of Raziel stood in the middle of the room. Finn walked over to it and stared. The library was empty, and it was dark. Was it after hours? Raziel loomed over him, the angel's face slightly darkened, like he was passing judgement on Finn.

"I always thought that statue was creepy," Selina said.

"I wonder if they got his profile right," Finn said. "All those guys that actually saw the summoned angel might have to critique it."

She chuckled. "Yeah. I can just imagine the actual angel complaining about how they got his nose wrong."

Finn laughed, but turned to get to work. He looked around the library, trying to think about where he had planned to go before he got distracted. For some reason, he couldn't remember. There should be rune books to his left, weapon books two shelves down, and Downworlder info books to the shelf at his right. He knew  _where_  the books were and what categories they were in, but he couldn't remember what he and Selina were looking for.

"What are we here for again?" he asked.

He got no answer, and looked to where he had last seen Selina, but she was gone.

"Seels?"

He looked all around the library, calling out her name, but there was nothing.

"Selina, this isn't funny!"

He walked to the back of the room, before circling around and looking down the aisles of bookshelves. He ended up behind the Raziel statue, but as he looked up at it just for a moment while he passed, he realized that the angel was facing him. That wasn't right.

He stopped and looked around. The rest of the library confirmed he was standing at the backside of the statue - he should've been staring at the angel's wings, but Raziel was looking at him and  _still_  passing judgement on him like he'd done something wrong. But the statue had turned 180 degrees without him noticing. Almost as though it was following his movements.

Finn suddenly felt extremely alone in the empty library.

"Selina?!" he called, fear now laced through his voice. " _Selina!_  Where are you?!"

The library now seemed to have been covered in shadows, like the lights had been turned off like they'd snuck in after hours. How had he not noticed that? He realized that the ceiling was higher than it should've been and slanted at the top, like some art project had gone wrong where a kid attempted to make a birdhouse but had failed at cutting the walls and roof into proper squares and rectangles.

He looked at the bookshelves, and now that he focused, he realized that they weren't in the right positions. Some were turned 90 degrees in the wrong place, others were shorter than they should've been, they were spread thinner, and he could see through them - the bookshelves weren't split down the middle so that there were two sides. He couldn't believe he had thought this was the Institute library before. He carefully moved to the right, keeping his eyes locked on the statue and his hand at his sword. While he never saw anything move, the statue remained facing him directly even as he walked completely around it. The statue wasn't hostile or anything (yet), but now Finn was completely confused on where he was and what was happening.

"Maybe I was roofied," he muttered.

"I don't understand the meaning of that word," a voice sighed, scaring the devils out of Finn since it had been so quiet.

He turned with his blade drawn, screaming " _Mael!_ " as his sword blazed to life.

Finn found himself holding his weapon up to a faerie's throat, the calm idiot just staring at him with his hands up in surrender. "I don't believe that's an appropriate response to my presence."

"Fae?"

He chuckled and took a step back, allowing Finn to drop his Seraph blade. "I will note not to sneak up on you. It can become difficult to remember you are still a trained Shadowhunter."

"What are you doing here?" Finn asked. "I mean, not that I'm not happy, it's just-"

"I had time," Fae shrugged.

"B-But how are you  _here_ , in the-?"

Finn suddenly realized that they weren't in the Institute library, but in the meeting ground tunnels. Fae laughed, and Finn felt his heart clench. He wanted to hear more of Fae's laugh - he so rarely let his guard down enough to just smile, let alone chuckle or laugh. But hadn't he driven Fae away during their last encounter? This was just a crazy hallucination, after all.

"Your mundane attempts at humor are quite amusing, my Hunter."

Fae stepped forward and drew Finn into a kiss that surprised him so much that he didn't know what to do. It wasn't as lust-filled as some had been, but it also wasn't small and gentle. Finn felt his eyes instinctively closing and his hand moved to cup Fae's head, his jaw sharp thanks to his faerie heritage. When they pulled apart, Finn felt a small swell of pride hearing Fae was slightly out of breath.

"Do you love me?" Fae asked.

Finn hesitated, trying to speak. In the end, it only came out a whisper. "Yes."

"What about us?" a new voice called.

Finn jumped and turned to see Lock, Pyre, and Wolf. Had they just seen that?! He looked back to Fae in panic, but the faerie was gone.

"You're cute, kid, I'll give you that," Pyre said with her normal begrudging level of love. "Stop being such a wimp and just go for it."

"You're cool," Wolf agreed. "It can't be that hard to do what you love in front of others."

"We're your friends, Hunt," Lock assured him. "We love ya!"

"Totally."

"I guess you're better than nothing," Pyre admitted.

"You wouldn't leave us, would you?" Lock asked sadly. "Just because we're Downworlders?"

"Of course not!" Finn protested.

"You're a Shadowhunter. You have to choose what's most important to you."

Finn heard a loud boom, like the sound of a toilet flushing, echoing down the hallway, and heard the crashing sound of a wave. He turned back to Fae's tunnel and saw the tide come just before he was sucked under the icy water, thrown back and disoriented as the wind was knocked out of him.

" _Foolish boy! I did not raise you to slack off your duties for such a trivial waste of time!_ "

" _I won't allow it to happen again, please Father!_ "

" _I have already given you countless chances, but you do not seem to learn your lesson! This is the end of this ridiculous fetish!_ "

" _No!_ "

' _ **How could you? That was Mother's guitar.**_ '

Finn felt the cold numbing his body, and he didn't have the strength to swim to safety - if there was any. He wanted to fight, but the memories swam through his mind, shaking his confidence, his resolve.

His father had destroyed it. The only thing Finn had left of her. Merida had a necklace, he said it made her look like their mother. Finn got her guitar and had been playing from the moment he was big enough to hold it. And his dad broke it as though she never mattered.

" _Downworlders are dangerous, Finn! Hasn't Dad taught you anything?_ "

" _Downworlders are no different than the rest of us! They live, they laugh, they get angry, they fight for what they believe in!_ "

" _They believe in killing, living without rules, chaos! They manipulate, they lie, they'll take advantage of every Shadowhunter that comes their way if they see that you're weak, and they'll take pleasure in bringing you down if you're strong!_ "

" _We kill, don't we? We don't listen to anyone but ourselves, our philosophy, our way of life! Even if it's horrible, if it's the law, we do it! So what, I ask you, what makes us any better than them?! They live their lives_ fighting  _their parents who say they're a disgrace just because they want to do something they love and won't be oppressed, they fight for their freedom when people tell them they can't do it, and they deal with people like us taking every opportunity we can to insult them, provoke them, treat them like they're not human! They actually believe in me, tell me that I'm not useless, that I'm not just a worthless pieces of shit Dad would throw out if it weren't for you and his pride! They have their own problems, but at least they're strong enough to fight their demons! For once in my life I have friends that make me feel strong, that don't expect me to do everything on my own and deal with my problems alone!_ "

" _So you have to resort to having Downworlders make you feel like you're worth something? Finn, you should've told me things were this bad! Seels and I are here to help you!_ "

" _You think I'm only hanging out with them because I need to feel_ superior?!  _How vain and conceited can you_ get _, Merida?! You're supposed to be the one I trusted to accept me for my decisions, who I am! Go and tell Dad for all I care! I'd rather be kicked out of the Institute and de-runed than listen to you, Selina, Dad, our step-mom, and everyone else tell me I'm supposed to be some egotistical ruthless monster that's better than a Downworlder because I've got angel-blood! They accept me even though I'm a Shadowhunter, they don't care about my heritage, and I don't care about theirs! And I don't care about yours, either! I thought you were my sister, but you're just like the rest of them - dead to me!_ "

Finn had walked out that day, the day he'd first told his sister about his Downworlder meetings. He thought she would be happy that he was breaking out of his shell, that he had found friends he was willing to open up to, and that he had gotten along with Downworlders instead of staying strictly to other Shadowhunters. He thought she'd be  _proud_. But instead she had accused his friends of tricking him, using him, saying they'd one day abandon him if he became too much trouble or lost his worth. Finn had said that would never happen, but he had his doubts. So he lashed out, determined to prove her wrong.

He had gone to the meetings grounds, told them everything that had happened. Fae had held out his hand to Finn, as he had before on the first day that they'd met when Finn had run away because his father had broken his guitar. That was the day Fae took him to his warlock friend, unable to find a place to take the Shadowhunter on his own, and Lock had introduced his friends Pyre and Wolf - their first impression to Finn being an argument about whether Pyre's dress was blue or green.

Fae held his hand out to remind Finn of the day he was saved. That Fae would save him however many times he had to.

" _We shall always stand beside you. Thank you for standing beside us_."

Finn's head broke the surface of the water and he gasped for breath. His body burned with fatigue, or maybe it was the ice water freezing him to cold that it was hot. He barely found the strength to stay afloat, and he felt the water rolling with waves. The sky was dark and gloomy, like a storm was above him, and there was no land in sight - as though he had somehow surfaced in the middle of the pacific. Illusion or not, he would die out here.

"Hunter!"

He turned and saw a hand reaching out for him. Instantly, Finn reached for it, fighting against the waves with all the strength he had left, before he grasped the warm hand. It gripped his and pulled him, up and out of the water onto a boat. Finn first noticed that it was a beautiful shade of red, mixing with oranges, yellows, and fading to dark blood reds at the bottom. And then Finn noticed that the sails were on fire - which seemed like a bad thing - and yet it only added to the beauty. Besides, the heat that radiated off of them warmed him from the icy water, and as he was pulled into a hug, he was instantly dried and felt safe.

"I've got you, my Hunter."

Of course it was Fae. Fae would always come to save him when he fell. And only the red-haired faerie could possibly have a boat like this.

"We're all here for ya, kid," Wolf said, and Finn opened his eyes to see the others were standing on the boat as well.

Pyre bared her fangs. "So, who do I get to kill for upsetting you?"

Wolf crossed his arms. "You can drain 'em  _after_  I'm done tearing them apart myself."

"I will portal whoever it is to the moon," Lock declared. "And really, that keeps things so much cleaner than their methods. Blood stains are  _impossible_  to get out of the carpet, honestly."

He jabbed a finger at Wolf and Pyre, who didn't look offended so much as they looked proud. "I'm sure you could just magic the gore away once we're done," Wolf said.

Finn chuckled. "You could make a portal to the moon?"

"For this person, I would certain try," Lock said.

"We will protect you," Fae said. "And we know you will protect us too. We are your family, and we want to see you happy."

Finn nodded. They would do whatever it took to keep Finn safe, and no doubt all of them would take vengeance against those that hurt Finn. Not like his father, who would rather hurt him than help him, who wanted to change Finn and would never accept him. Not like his sister, who had called them monsters just because they were Downworlders. Not like Selina, who forced her way into his private life and nearly killed Fae because he was a faerie. Not like every Shadowhunter who pushed him and pushed him to see how far he could bend before he broke.

_When Finn had come back to his room in the Institute to pick up his guitar and pack some clothes to stay at Lock's place until he figured out what he wanted to do, Merida was standing at the door, leaning on the doorframe with her arms crossed. Finn merely gave her a glare and grabbed a duffle bag. He started shoving some clothes inside, along with some weapons, his Stele, and anything else he thought he'd need to either defend himself, keep himself entertained, or actually use - like a toothbrush and some toothpaste, for instance._

" _I didn't tell Dad, if you were wondering," Merida said._

" _Good for you," Finn snapped simply._

" _How long have you been with them, Finn?"_

 _Finn said nothing. He'd been with them for two years now, give or take. He was 17, and he was old enough to go outside of the Institute and make_ friends _. Just because they were Downworlders didn't make them poisonous like the plague or unworthy like peasants._

" _Do they ever ask you to do things for them?"_

_They asked him to sing, yeah, but they were doing it for his own good. And they never demanded it of him, they never forced him when he wasn't feeling comfortable. They weren't trying to get him to sell drugs, for the angel's sake!_

" _How often do you go see them?"_

 _Whenever he_ felt  _like it, that's how often. When someone called and said they needed a friend, when he knew someone was there and had free time, or when he himself needed to get away from his stupid Shadowhunter life._

" _Do they contact you outside of your little meetings?"_

_Not unless there's an emergency, but otherwise Finn just checked the ward system that Lock set up to see if anyone was there. Not all of them always showed up, the same groups didn't always meet up at certain times. It was random - especially with Fae and his harsh schedule - but it was nice that way. You never knew how a certain group would act around each other, and how they'd act in the absence of others._

" _Finn, I'm just worried about you!"_

" _WELL STOP! Stop acting like I'm a reckless teenager getting high and doing drugs! Stop acting like I'm hanging out with a gang of troublemakers or some assassin's club! Stop interrogating me like a Shadowhunter and start talking to me like I'm a human - like I'm your brother!"_

" _So I'm still your sister?"_

" _You'll never be my sister if you keep acting like I'm not your brother."_

" _I_ am  _treating you like my brother. I'm asking you if you've made the right choice in friends because I don't want you to get hurt."_

_Finn zipped up his bag and hefted it over his shoulder. "Great job, treating my friends like they're trash because you think you're the only one that gets to love me. Oh, wait, Selina is allowed to be my friend. Or is that because she's a Shadowhunter? I never took you as a racist, sis. But I guess they say never to judge a book by it's cover." Merida looked like she wanted to say something, but Finn continued. "You know what? You've said to be behind me whenever it's us against Dad, but you're just as bad as him. You keep me locked up in the Institute just like him, never let me out of your sight and never let me meet new people - Downworlder or mundane alike."_

" _Finn, I'm not-"_

" _Not concerned about my feelings, I know. As long as I'm under your thumb, nothing else matters. Just like a Shadowhunter."_

" _Dammit, Finn! Mom was killed because she-"_

_Merida cut herself off, and though Finn wanted to prod, he didn't want to care. He didn't want to give her the satisfaction of getting him to hesitate for even a few more seconds. It would be just like a Shadowhunter to spit something out like that and then stop to try and keep their prey interested._

" _Goodbye, Merida."_

" _She ran away, Finn! For the same reason you are - to get away from Shadowhunters and to live with Downworlders! Her body was found a month later! She had moved in with a werewolf and played at a warlock's bar! But…but it was all a setup to…"_

_Finn wished he could say that he didn't believe her, that he didn't listen. He knew Merida was an actor, he knew she could talk about the most sensitive of subjects without even blinking, or sob while looking like she was trying to hold back. She had talked about their mother's death before, casually mentioning how it was a big story and their mom's body led their family to a big case or something. Finn flinched every time she spoke like it was nothing to her, and never dared to open his mouth during the same conversation._

" _I don't want that happening to you, Finn! I wouldn't…I couldn't…"_

" _So you're saying mom left_ us  _for Downworlders. That she was a fool for giving up her family only to get killed."_

_Merida flinched. "No, that's not-"_

" _That_ is  _what you're saying. That I'm a fool and I'll get myself killed. Fine. Anything's better than listening to your nonsense. I trust these people with my life. I'll never be a good Shadowhunter, Mer, so stop trying to make me stay to be forced into being one."_

_She stood. "I'm sorry, Finn! But listen to yourself! You're giving everything to these people, trusting them with everything-"_

" _Because I have nothing left worth it to lose!"_

" _Nothing? What about us? Selina and I?"_

" _What_ about  _you?"_

" _Finn, you sound like a brainwashed slave!"_

" _I'm only this way because you insist that I have terrible judgement skills and are telling me that I'm doomed if I don't stay here with you and abandon all my friends just because they're Downworlders."_

_Merida pursed her lips, biting back her protests about some stupid 'Downworlders are dangerous' nonsense._

" _You were the one that drove me to them, Merida. If you want anyone to blame, blame yourself."_

" _Let me meet them, Finn, just so-"_

" _So that you can take over and criticize them in person? Oh, no. You either trust me, or you lose me. Because you don't think I'm smart enough to realize when I'm being had, huh? I'm careful, Mer. None of us know each other's real names. We don't know where we live, we don't know what we do, we don't know what state we're all from - because the warlock uses portals to make sure that we can get to the meeting grounds from anywhere. I'm the only one out of all of us that has the ability to look any of them up - and at_ most _, I'd find the warlock just by going through the Institute Archives because he has an identifiable Warlock Mark, but I don't because I respect their privacy and they respect mine."_

" _Finn…"_

" _You want more? One of them saved me from jumping. If that sounds like manipulation, then go ahead and scold me again, but they've done nothing but support me, the hopeless cause, for over two years. If they're just_ really  _dedicated to swinding me so they're in it for the long run, then please, tell me why they'd deal with me of all Shadowhunters and not go for someone easier to convince in a short amount of time."_

_Merida was struggling to get her words out. "Jumping…? You mean…?"_

" _Yeah. The day Dad broke it?"_

" _Mom's guitar…the one she left for you."_

" _That's the one."_

" _Finn…why didn't you tell me it was this bad?"_

" _It_ was  _that bad. And there was nothing you could've done about it. You were just as trapped as I was, Mer."_

" _And…you were stopped?"_

" _I was saved. I met friends. And they would support me no matter what. They_ have  _supported me, no matter what."_

_Merida was silent. Finn waited for her to respond, to do anything, but she just stared down quietly. Finn counted a minute, five, and exactly on ten, he turned to leave. Merida looked up, as he expected, moving with her fast reflexes as though to reach out and stop him, but she froze half-way through the motion. Finn walked down the hall, and didn't hear Merida trying to follow him - she remained frozen in place at the door of his room. He was glad that he had finally gotten through to her somehow. Maybe Merida could've liked his friends, if she weren't so stubborn and xenophobic of anyone outside of the Institute. She was the younger of the two of them (not by much, since they were identical twins, but still) and yet since Finn had grown up shy and afraid of the weight being put on his shoulders, she had to grow up the strong one. Well their father would be happy. Now his only child would be exactly what he wanted instead of having a first-born failure of a son like Finn._

" _Finn!" she called._

_He hated himself for doing so, but he stopped in his tracks._

" _Have…don't be a stranger. You'll always be welcome if you ever change your mind. Until then…have fun, all right? Be yourself with your friends. Play your music. Hell, never come back if it pleases you. I'll handle things here. Those friends of yours better get you performing and making millions. Don't forget about me once you're famous, all right?"_

_He could hear the emotion in her voice and knew that she could be faking it. But Merida was telling him to go. He would do that. He'd walk out. He'd stay at an apartment Lock had - not Lock's actual one that he currently lived in, of course, but one he had in stock after his long life of moving around the world. Finn would stay in that apartment, see his friends just as often as ever. His sister never called him, Selina never tried to track him down._

_He'd be back at the Institute in a week. Merida never asked him about his meetings again_.

"Finn!"

Finn opened his eyes to see the rolling waves of the ocean in the storm. He was still on the boat, his friends beside him. He looked off the edge of the boat and his eyes were drawn to a figure in the water.

"Finnegan! Where are you?!"

"Selina?"

"She cannot see you," Fae said. "She is not a part of this world, your life with us. As long as you are with us Downworlders, you will not be able to be a Shadowhunter. Leave the world you hate behind to live as one of us."

Finn saw as Selina struggled to swim through the water. "Finn!"

"She's my friend," Finn whispered. "She's my friend, we have to help her."

Lock shook his head. "She can't be one of us. You're one of a kind, Hunter. You've never wanted to be a Shadowhunter, but she's always been one to the core. She  _attacked_  Fae, invaded your personal life, and she'll take you away from us, back to the Shadowhunter life you want to leave."

"Hey, Fae's the one I trust to make judgement calls," Wolf shrugged. "He's the one I trusted when he helped a Shadowhunter."

"She is not right for you," Fae declared. "Do not let her trick you, control your life and trap you as all Shadowhunters do."

"B-But she's not dangerous. She won't be a threat! Please!"

"I'm sorry, Finnegan."

Finn looked back to Selina, swimming in the sea, desperately calling out for him. He looked to his friends, but they weren't full of resentment towards her - they were afraid. They didn't want to lose what they had, they didn't want anyone but Finn because they trusted him. But Finn had to choose between letting his friend drown and staying with his Downworlder friends on the boat. A life of freedom or a life of swimming against the tides. A life as a Downworlder or life as a Shadowhunter.

 _Fae shouldn't know my name_.

This wasn't real. This wasn't his Fae, telling him not to be happy and choose his path. These weren't his friends who would save a Shadowhunter, even if they were doing it begrudgingly, because Finn cared. These weren't his friends who would ever make him choose between them and his life as a Shadowhunter.

His friends would tell him to do what he believed was right, to not leave his family and abandon his people - not unless he was sure. They wouldn't ever push him. Especially not Fae. As sad as it was, Fae would put Finn's happiness above his own. He would let Finn go if that was what he wanted, if that would keep him safe.

Finn looked at Fae, his blonde hair brushed behind his pointed ears. A few short strands had come loose and hung free in front of his face, and his mismatched eyes beamed at Finn. Finn knew he should understand that this was fake, but saying goodbye to Fae was something he never wanted to even imagine.

Finn brushed Fae's stray bangs back. "I love you," he said gently.

"And I love you, my Hunter."

Finn kissed him lightly, before turning and cannon-balling off the side of the boat. He wasn't exactly a professional diver, so he simply got into the position that would keep him vertical and then gathered his bearings, breaking the surface and swimming. The icy water smacked him in the face, like he'd jumped through a sheet of glass, but he pushed through. The freezing ocean bit through his skin, his clothes weighed him down. He focused and pushed his arm forward and then paddled. His muscles contracted, struggling to function at that temperature.

It was hard to believe that this was just a dream. The water was pulling harder, pulling him down, but he felt a resolve he never had before. Nothing to lose. He swam with the thought that he'd never win either way, swam knowing that he could save his friend even if that was all he accomplished. He started counting his strokes, trying to distract himself. He lost track after four. Had he made it to five? Was he on seven now? His limbs burned from the cold, stung from fatigue, they were heavy and shaking badly. The current was so much stronger and faster than he was, but he couldn't stop now.

"What do you know?"

He saw Fae sitting with his legs dangling off the boat, which was moving beside him as though taunting him with the idea of rest.

"Tell me, what do you know?"

Finn wanted to spit something at him along the lines of 'Not now!' but he couldn't speak through the cold and from his heavy breathing. But he knew that he would go to Selina. He needed to get to her, dead or alive. He would fight this storm with everything he had until he didn't have anything left. No matter how terrible his life was, no matter how much he hated it, he wouldn't abandon his friends, his family, and so if Selina was in trouble, he would  _not_  leave her behind. If all he could do was die alongside her, that would be enough.

The thought seemed to warm him, if just a little bit, and he kicked harder against the water.

"There you go, my Hunter. You shouldn't be sad."

Finn's entire body was shuddering violently. He nearly dipped under a couple times, pushing to surface and spitting out the seawater. He could count his strokes now. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen.

"I know what it's like," Fae said. "It's hard to explain with words."

The sky began to clear, the storm clouds parting to reveal the sun. Almost as though they were in the eye of a hurricane.

"At first, you don't know what it means."

Nineteen, twenty.

"When you finally understand it, you know that you're capable of anything. But I suppose it's a little different for me. In the end, I swam through that current with everything I had, but there was no one to meet me in the middle."

Twenty five, twenty six.

"But I kept swimming, and I was ready to drown. Until I found my reason to live - you. We are alike, my Hunter, but we are so very different. You would drown for her, but you would swim away from me." He chuckled, as though he just told some level of a joke. "Then again, I  _hope_  you're relationship with her is different than with me. Not that I would mind if that's what you wanted, obviously."

Finn nearly chuckled if he wasn't so out of breath. It was definitely not the real Fae. He was speaking so casually. He was using contractions way more than usual.

"Live, my Hunter. And remember us when we're gone."

Thirty one. Thirty two. There was no more need to count. Fae and the boat had stopped and lagged behind. Finn was swimming alone, pumped with adrenaline. Selina had noticed him and was swimming his was as well. She was doing what he was doing, forcing her body to go forward, shuddering and yet pushing through the cold water.

Finn surged through the final few strokes before he felt her hand grasp his and pulled her close frantically. Her lips were blue, he probably looked no better, but she was smiling in relief. Finn didn't know what happened now, but he had reached her. That was all he needed.

Then, he felt something solid beneath him. The two of them hurriedly straightened themselves out, their feet touching the floor. They were still shoulder-deep in water, but they could stand now, and though Finn's legs were tired, it was still a relief from having to hold himself up above water.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice raspy from his heavy breathing and occasional salt-water drinks.

"I'm fine," Selina nodded, panting heavily just like him. "What about you?"

"I'll live."

They smiled, breathing hard together. For no reason at all, Finn felt himself smiling. He saw Selina doing so as well, and just a moment later they were laughing together. Nothing like a near death experience to make him bond with his friends. It was then that he realized they were standing in a fountain. That's why they were soaking wet but had a floor beneath them. When Finn looked up, he saw the statue of Raziel that had been in the library. The moment he process that, the water beneath the two of them suddenly became shallow, down to about a foot high. Finn looked around and saw that they were standing in a fountain in the library with the Raziel statue looming up in the center. Water was streaming out from the pedestal at the angel's feet in six symmetrical streams around it, one of them now spraying Finn's shoulder. He quickly moved out of the way, Selina giggling as he got water splashed into his face.

They climbed out of the fountain dripping wet, and still chuckling at the absurdity of the situation. The library was still dark, but the large windows let in moonlight from outside. The ceiling and bookshelves were still out of whack, but at the moment, Finn didn't care. He and Selina fell to sit against the fountain, finally letting their limbs get a break from the swim they just took. Selina held out her hand, and Finn weakly high-fived her.

He blinked, and found that he was now lying down, not sitting vertically. When Finn finally processed this, he opened his eyes and found himself staring at an unfamiliar ceiling. He sat up, blinking away his sleep. Had that been nothing but a dream? It had felt too real to be a dream.

"Take it easy."

He looked up and saw a cat-eyed warlock with makeup even more extravagant than Lock's walking over. He put a hand - which Finn noticed had black nails - on Finn's shoulders and turned him so that he could lean against the couch. And he realized he was lying on a couch.

"Deep breaths, kiddo."

Finn looked over and saw his friend standing there in the flesh, sparkling with his bioluminescent green scales, his hair spiked up just like the cat-eyed warlock, just as glitter-bombed, and wearing a casual dress shirt with the first few buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows like he'd just come back from a party and was ready to just crash on the sofa watching TV.

"Lock?" Finn asked. "Where am I?"

"Try to remember. I invited you over to Magnus's to help prepare for your parabatai ceremony. You drank water from Lake Lyn. Drinking that stuff gives you hallucinations."

"I  _was_  roofied!" he exclaimed.

Lock chuckled. "I suppose you could call it that."

"Did I drink it knowing what it was?"

"No. The whole point was that you  _couldn't_ know so that-"

"I was roofied. End of story. Some friend you are."

"Hey! It was Magnus's idea! He said that's what you two had to do!"

The cat-eyed warlock shrugged. "Well, you  _were_  the one that had to prepare the tea since you'd worked with both of them before. You're still responsible for drugging them."

"Wait, is Selina here?" Finn asked.

"She's fine. Jem is with her now."

"Jem?"

"James Carstairs," Lock explained. "He's a former Silent Brother."

"Oh, he's the guy that was turned back into a Shadowhunter because of that angel weapon, right?"

"That about sums it up."

"Doesn't water from Lake Lyn make you crazy?"

"That's why Jem was here. If anything had gone wrong, you would've been with the Silent Brothers within the hour. Magnus is an expert at this kind of stuff, I'm not too shabby if I do say so myself, and Caterina is a nurse and she's with Selina now too. Trust me, you're in good hands."

"That begs the question how the hell did I get here in the first place, and why the hell did you drug me?"

"First, tell me what you remember?"

"From when I was under?"

Lock took a seat in a chair. "This is important. What did you see?"

Finn looked at Magnus nervously. He had seen things about the others that he didn't want to disclose without permission.

"Magnus, go check on Selina. Bring her in here."

"Sure," Magnus said, walking out.

Finn waited until Magnus closed the door behind him before taking a deep breath. "Uh…I was in the library at my Institute with Selina. But everything was wrong. Selina disappeared, everything went lopsided. Then, I was in the tunnels and you and the others were saying how great I was, comforting me like you always have to. Even Pyre was being nice. Well, as nice as she  _can_  be."

Lock smiled and nodded.

"And then there was this flood. While I was underwater, I remembered…bad things. When my dad found out about my music and snapped. When Merida found out I was seeing you guys and said you couldn't be trusted…then I was in the ocean. I was swimming through a storm, but then you guys came to rescue me on a boat. I remembered that Merida had eventually come around to trust me, to trust that you guys were keeping me safe and helping me be happy. Then, I saw Selina in the ocean. You all said that we couldn't let her aboard the ship because she was a Shadowhunter, she didn't trust you and would never be able to accept Downworlders - she would ruin the world that we had together. I could either stay with you in safety, or help Selina, swimming through the ocean, drowning in our lives, but staying afloat together."

"We would never make you choose, Hunt. Is that really what you think of us?"

"It wasn't really you guys in particular. I guess I just worry that one day  _someone_  will make me."

Lock sighed sadly. "It's understandable. But just know that we'd do anything for you, and if someone found out, we wouldn't be trying to convince you to give up your Shadowhunter life."

"It's not just you. I think the hallucination was just using you guys to…personify my fears. I don't wanna be a Shadowhunter sometimes, I'm scared of being like my dad, of growing up in a life I hate, unable to be myself. At any moment my freedom could be taken away. If I become parabatai with Selina…"

"That won't change anything."

"She'll find out about our hangout eventually, and she'll no doubt find out where it is. I won't be able to keep secrets from her, and the world that we made, that sanctuary…it'll never be the same."

Lock dropped his gaze. "If you're that determined to keep her out of the fray, I could perform memory spells so that she's incapable of remembering the place if she ever does find out. But I'm sure that the others would be open to having a new face. She's a fiery one, that's for sure. Might be able to help keep Pyre and Wolf in check."

Finn smiled. "But what would we be without their constant bickering?"

Lock chuckled. "True enough. And after what happened with Fae…well, faeries tend to hold grudges, and it might take time for Fae to trust her."

"Yeah, their first impressions being trying to kill each other might be a bit bad. But…I know Selina's a good person and will be looking to make amends. And Fae hadn't tried to directly hurt her in the fight - just disarm her. By the way, did you know his Io can break adamas?"

Lock laughed. "No, but I had a feeling. It'd never let him down before. He told me it can decapitate people with a little tug and I never asked him about its capabilities again for fear of the horrible visuals Fae can give me."

Finn smiled, but it quickly faded a moment later. "In the hallucination, I chose to go to Selina instead of all of you. I take that to mean that I'd endure any amount of Shadowhunter stuff for her, my best friend. Even choosing her over you guys. What's that supposed to say about me?"

"It proves how loyal you are to Selina, how much you love her, and how you're perfect parabatai. This trial determined your compatibility, you might say."

"And how disloyal I am to all of you, even though you offer so much, even though you guys give protection and sanctuary, and are the only people I can be relaxed and happy around. Even though you guys are the only reason I'm still alive right now. I throw away my happiness because I can't bring myself to leave Selina and Merida behind and choose them over you."

"That's not a bad thing, Hunter. It just means that you're still a Shadowhunter on the inside, open to both worlds but loyal to your family."

" _You're_  my family too!"

"But it proves that you're willing to accept Selina and Merida as a part of our family, despite everything that's happened and how much you hate being a Shadowhunter. If you trust your sister and your future parabatai, then we will too."

Finn looked down. "What if things change, Lock? Change for the worst?"

"We've got plenty of options to remedy any situation. The tunnels are heavily warded, and if one or both of them betrays us, I can stop them before they can even draw their weapons. If they give away the crystals used to  _get_  to the tunnels, they'll be unhappy to learn that you are the only one they will work for, and you have to consciously activate it and allow others through - meaning you can open it and someone can try to follow you or even hold you at knifepoint, but only you will be able to make the trip unless specifically requesting someone else be given access. But if your sister and your friend are anything like you say, they'd never do something like that."

"I know, Lock. I know they're good people. I'm just…I'm afraid of change, of losing what we had."

Lock sighed and stood, moving to sit next to Hunter on the couch. "I don't like change either, Hunt. Like it or not, I've watched friends and family grow old and die. I've seen nations rise and empires fall. I've seen humans invent the internet and come up with more complicated theories of math than even  _I_  care to keep track of. I've seen them during times where they simply kill those they don't agree with and neglect those they don't think are worthy. I've also seen them ban slavery, make equal rights for all races and sexes, and I'm still watching."

Finn stared at Lock, before dropping his head in shame. "You're a warlock. By the angel, Lock, I'm sorry, I forgot again."

"It's fine, Hunter. All I'm trying to say is that I understand what it's like to hate progression over time. But it's because things change that we hate it so much. If nothing ever happened, we'd want the opposite and vice versa. This new development isn't necessarily a bad one, and you have people you trust. I'll admit I'm just as scared, but we'll be fine with a little time to get used to it."

Finn looked up at him before taking a deep breath. "Okay. Thanks, Lock."

"You're very welcome. I've been told I give great pep talks."

Finn snickered. "Sure."

Lock looked ready to protest, but there was a knock on the door. "Hey, she's all checked out," a new male voice called.

A man that had dark brown, maybe black, hair with a silver streak and dark brown eyes with gold flecks poked his head through the door. That must've been Jem Carstairs, Finn realized. He'd done his research on him, Will Herondale, and Tessa Gray. It had initially been Tessa he was most interested in - a half warlock, half Shadowhunter, able to shapeshift and mentally connect with people. After a heavenly fire incident, she apparently couldn't read minds when she changed into someone, but she could do some warlock magic she couldn't before. That had to be totally overpowered. Even so, she turned out a good person and was once a mother of two Shadowhunters with Will Herondale. No matter what his fellow Shadowhunters said, Tessa was amazing.

Sometimes Finn wished he'd gotten so lucky as to have such a rare birth, even if that meant he was ostracized. He already was, so what could he have to lose? Then again, Fae always said to not think of such scenarios. It's entirely possible that if he  _were_  different, he wouldn't want to be.

"We good here?" Jem asked.

"He's fine," Lock reported. "Other than his regular crushing self-doubt, I think he'll live."

"Hey!" Finn protested.

"Well, I'll be the judge of that," a woman said, walking into the room. Her blue skin and white hair was a pretty clear indicator that she was a warlock, but she looked nice enough. "I'm Caterina - but you can call me Cat - your resident warlock equipped with professional medical experience. I'll just give a quick mandatory check up. Did you give him some water?"

Lock blinked. "Uh…"

She rolled her eyes. "What am I supposed to do with you morons?"

"Love and support us for the rest of our immortal existence together?" Magnus suggested, popping his head into the room as well beside Jem.

She hummed skeptically. "That sounds  _great._  Someone get him something to drink. Oh, and Selina, hon, you can come in."

Selina pushed past Jem and Magnus, a blanket over her shoulders and a cup with a steaming drink in her hands. "Library?" she asked.

"Raziel statue," Finn agreed.

"What was this all about, anyway?" Selina demanded, taking a swig of her drink. "I already have enough nightmares about that creepy statue, and now I'll be scarred for life!"

"You know how the parabatai test is the test of fire?" Lock asked. "Like, you stand in rings of fire to make your vows and bond and whatnot. Well, this was the test of water."

"The ocean we were swimming in."

"Exactly. Think about what you both saw, what you both learned. Think about what you felt. Think about when you were both able to swim to each other when you had nothing left, when you should have died."

"You took the water," Jem said. "And you joined in the same place in your minds. You were able to find each other. You were linked. 'And it came to pass that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.' You're a pair of parabatai if I've ever seen one."

"Some people are uniquely suited to be parabatai," Magnus agreed. "Born to it, you might say. People think it's about getting along, about always agreeing, being in sync. It's not. It's about being better together. Fighting better together. Alec and Jace haven't always agreed, but they've always been better together."

"When a parabatai bond is true, when the friendship runs deep and honest, it can be…transcendent." There was a sadness in Jem's eyes as he spoke softly, a sadness so profound it was almost frightening. "This test told us what we needed to know - your bond is true and there's little doubt you can withstand the reaction. There's always something about true parabatai. They don't need to speak to communicate. The two of you can have entire conversations without saying a word. It was like that with my parabatai, Will. I never had to ask Will what he was thinking. In fact, it was usually  _better_  not to ask Will what he was thinking…"

That got a smile from all three warlocks in the room.

"But I see it between you. True parabatai are linked long before the ceremony takes place. When you first came here, you weren't on good terms, that was obvious enough, but you could still practically read each other's thoughts - agreeing to get along for the sake of this meeting."

Magnus chuckled. "You both got suspicious when we offered the two of you the drinks. There was that Shadowhunter flare in your eyes that made you cautious of everything. You had a long, silent debate with your eyes. Of course, Finnegan showed his trust in ' _Lock_ ' and convinced Selina that nothing could go wrong."

"Never doing  _that_  again," Hunter muttered.

"Hey! Everything was safe and there were professionals on hand," Lock protested. "I would never put our beloved Hunter in danger! I'd be killed three times over by Pyre, Wolf, and Fae."

"Well,  _that's_  true, at least."

Selina swirled her drink in her hands. "You know, being catered to by warlocks and a former Silent Brother is cool. You've been hogging all the fun friends, Finn."

Finn smiled. "Well, Lock  _is_  the most financially backed of us."

"Because he overcharges customers, a trait he learned from Magnus," Jem corrected.

"Hey, how else are we supposed to make a living?" Magnus protested. "Besides, my services are priceless, so if anything, I'm giving a discount."

"It's worked out for us so far," Lock agreed, leaning back on the couch. "If it weren't a stable business, we would've failed long ago. Which reminds me." He pointed to Selina. "You and the redhead still owe me for that little incident involving reopening a portal, getting me caught and put on a watchlist for breaking into an Institute, and then attacking my friend and nearly killing him."

" _Whaaat?_ " Selina whined. "I thought we were buds now! All's well that ends well, right?"

Lock scowled, unimpressed. "Umm-hmm."

She sighed. "I've already taken responsibility for your presence, but Mer and I wouldn't be able to pay you much without our parents finding out and putting us through the blender. And by charging Merida, you realize that you'd be charging Finn too, right?"

It occurred to Finn that Selina had given away his name to both Lock and Fae - if Fae had been paying attention during their last encounter (which of  _course_  he was, nothing gets past that faerie, honestly) - but he didn't really have the heart to care much anymore. Besides, he already sorta knew Lock's name from his class at the Shadowhunter Academy - even if Finn couldn't actually pronounce it.

"Fine, I'll let Merida off the hook and you can pay double," Lock proposed.

Selina deflated like an anime character. "Ugh, wonderful."

"Would you stop playing around?" Caterina demanded. "The poor girl's guilty enough about what happened and wants to make amends."

"Hey, I wasn't gonna ask for money. I was more interested in hearing more about  _Finn_  outside of his secretive life."

Selina perked up. "Oh, well in that case, I can pay you back with embarrassing childhood stories! For instance, there was this one time during training last year that he-"

"Selina Dalmasca, if you speak another word, I swear will kill you! And Lock, if you dare ask again I shall put you  _back_  on that watchlist with a price on your head greater than everything you own!"

"Hmm, someone's touchy," Magnus muttered.

" _This_  is why I want to keep my personal life and my secret life apart - because at least I know that I can put my trust in Downworlders who only know me as the kid who nearly jumped, at least they respect me and don't play around with my feelings just because we're friends and that somehow makes it okay! Don't you get it, Selina? It's  _never_  just  _fun_  for me! Ever since I made friends who know they're walking on pins and needles yet never treat me like I'm made of fucking glass, I've gotten better and have ignored your bullshit these past few years."

Selina's eyes were wide in shock at the outburst, while Lock was simply frowning, mentally defending himself and thinking that he was only going to ask for little things like Finn's favorite food.

"Let's just take a deep breath, okay?" Cat suggested. "You two are best friends and you just passed the trials as proper parabatai. You two are going to be parabatai before Finn's birthday at the end of the month - which is in three days, mind you, not counting today. You have to do your whole ceremony thing the day after tomorrow. This is no time to be arguing. You both love each other and you're willing to stay together through everything that comes your way. Whatever happened to start this argument needs to come to an end, now."

Cat moved Selina to sit in the chair that Lock had been in previously, across from the couch.

"Now, you two need to work this out, and you're not leaving until you do. Boys, out."

"We're going, we're going, yeesh," Lock complained as he was shoved out of the room.

"Can we get snacks while we wait?" Magnus asked.

Jem shrugged and closed the door behind them, leaving the two alone.

"I'm sorry, Finn," Selina began. "I didn't mean to upset you. I guess I always thought that we were all dealing with things. When our parents got transferred to Idris, I felt we had some breathing room, you know? I was surprised that your dad allowed you to stay at the Institute after all of the things that happened."

"Me too. But it's really thanks to you and Mer convincing him I was getting better."

She took a sip of her drink. "You know I really am sorry for what happened. If Lock is anything to go by, your Downworlder friends are nice and have the best of intentions for you."

"How did we get here, anyway? And where is here?"

"Your friend Lock invited us over to his apartment - telling you to bring me with you. We come over, he gives us drinks, and the next thing you know we've been roofied. I know I said that I wasn't worried about your friends, but if I didn't know any better, I'd say that's probably a bad thing. It was for the parabatai thing so I'll let it slide, but still."

"He's never done something like that before. He's always been nice to me. Ever since I first met him, he's always seemed to have things under control. He cheered me up when I was feeling bad and always had a warlock surprise. Pyre and Wolf were arguing the first time I saw them, but they quickly dropped everything to try and comfort me. Their banter was actually kinda funny at first, a way to brighten the mood or change the subject. Though they didn't like to admit it aloud, they care. I know they do. And then Fae was the one that first saved me. He brought me to Lock because he didn't know how to handle a Shadowhunter who was in such a bad state. He was quiet at first, just watching me from afar, but when he spoke he was candid and concise. He seemed the most interested in me because of the circumstances surrounding our meeting - he was concerned about what could push me so far. All of them worked hard to make sure I had a place of refuge. Lock even set up the meeting grounds that you saw us at."

"They sound like they love you a lot. You know that Merida and I are extremely sorry, right?"

Finn sighed. "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry for snapping."

"Hey, I'm sorry for never really noticing what was happening and playing around with you when I shouldn't have."

"You've still been my friend, Seels. And I trust you to know when you've gone too far."

She smiled. "So…am I forgiven?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I guess. I can't be mad at Merida either, since I know you guys were just looking out for me. I can't say that Fae will be as forgiving. He's a Faerie, and Faeries hold grudges like no one's business. He's nice, but he's also ruthless to his enemies. Just as a warning, he does it all out of love and care."

She leaned one of her elbows on her knee, resting her chin in her palm. "I know. He certainly  _looks_  really nice. And so gracious." She giggled. "He called me 'Lady of the moon!' No one's ever called me  _that_  before."

"Well, he's a faerie. He speaks like that often." Hunter blinked. "Wait, don't tell me you have a  _crush_  on him?"

"Something wrong with that?"

" _ **He's already mine!**_ " "He's a faerie, Seels. Of the Wild Hunt."

"I'm not a Cold Peace supporter, you know. And it's not every day you meet a kind faerie. Well,  _non-hostile_ faerie."

Finn rolled his eyes. "Well he's not exactly in the position to be dating you."

"I know being a faerie limits him and all, but it never hurts to try."

Finn sighed. "So, what did you see before the whole ocean illusion?"

Selina leaned back in her seat. "I saw my parents being annoying and demanding of me. I saw us growing up alone in the Institute, just you, me, and Merida. There was a period of time when I was afraid you guys would be taken away by your parents and I'd be left all alone. There were times when I just wanted to spit in my parents' faces and run away to the mundane world since I could never please them. What about you?"

"I saw all of my DW friends telling me that I had to choose between them and being a Shadowhunter. I saw the time I first told Merida about going to see them, but instead of being supportive like I thought she'd be, she turned out to be afraid I was being manipulated. We got into a big fight, she told me that our mom died because she trusted Downworlders and left us for them only to get killed. I had left that day and didn't come back for a week, but in the end, Merida trusted my judgment and never protested again."

"So that's why you didn't want me to know. Merida freaked and you figured that all Shadowhunters would be that way."

"I couldn't take the chance, Selina. If I told the wrong person, or the wrong person learned just by accident, all of my friends could be put at risk. The more people I inform, the greater the chance that something would get out. You understand?"

She nodded. "You've got a tight-knit and loving group, as far as I can see. I get it. I won't be a bother to you, I promise. But hey, now you've got another friend there to help cover up for you. Me and Merida have been a team helping hide your music, so this should be a breeze."

He smiled. "I guess things won't be  _too_  bad."

"We're a team, Finn. Just speak up if you're ever uncomfortable, and you know we'll be listening."

The door clicked open and Caterina walked in holding to cups. "I brought more water. You two need hydration and rest. You two should get some sleep. That Lake Lyn stuff packs a punch. You'll be fine by morning, but only if you take it easy. Lock's got a room for the two of you - two beds, of course."

The two of them nodded, taking the drinks while Selina returned her empty cup. When Finn stood up, he found, to his surprise, that his legs had turned to jelly. Lock came in and pulled an arm over his shoulders to help support Finn while Magnus helped Selina. They were led to their room and Finn found he was surprisingly exhausted from the short walk. Selina seemed to be in better condition, but she happily flopped onto her bed and passed out too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: 'Invincible' by Kelly Clarkson


	15. I'll Follow You Into the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I couldn't post this yesterday, but I just couldn't get into my account. Like, I clicked in and it just said 'Error.' But I have Monday off for Veteran's Day, so here ya go.
> 
> :)

Finn climbed into the black horse-drawn carriage with the Silent Brother at the reins. Selina hopped in behind him, moving to sit across from Finn, with Jem coming in last and sitting beside her. The carriage was simply appointed in black silk, black curtains, black everything, really. But it was well sprung and comfortable, as far as speeding horse carriages go. The Silent Brother at the reins - Brother Ezekiel (like that guy who saw a wheel way up in the middle of the air?) - had no fear of speed. The roads in Idris weren't exactly paved highways. They were paved stone, and there were no rest stops. Finn and Selina were having fun riding in the carriage, only laughing as they passed over small speed bumps and giggling with a shared enthusiasm. Even Jem seemed unconcerned, knowing that a Silent Brother had this handled.

"Didn't think we'd have such a fancy ride," Finn commented. "We  _do_  have warlocks on speed dial, after all."

"Yeah, well, I figured we'd do things old school," Jem said. "Carriage rides are scarce these days, so I take the opportunities I can."

"What's it like, being a former Silent Brother?" Selina asked. "You still friends with your former fellow Brothers?"

Jem shrugged. "It's not as though I was unaware of myself back when I was a Silent Brother. Will called upon me if he or anyone he knew of got so much as a paper cut, but I was glad to see him and his kids for the time that I could. I remember all the things that I learned as a Silent Brother, so I suppose you could call me a veteran of some sorts. Now that I've been turned back, I'm gonna age normally, but I've been cured of my curse from all those years ago that forced me to become a Silent Brother if I wanted to survive. As for being friends with the other Silent Brothers, sure. We were all acquaintances at the very least, and though they're not as emotive as the rest of us, they're reliable allies, smart, wise, and powerful. There's not really a protocol for when a Silent Brother suddenly just… _stops_  being one. We're making it up as we go."

"They're cool," Finn admitted. "It takes a little getting used to when it comes to staring at their appearance, but when the Silent Brothers are on your side, it feels like you've got the ultimate friends."

They rode an hour, maybe more, making small talk and passing the time. They entered the calming shade of the Brocelind Forest, the smell of the trees and leave almost intoxicating, and the sun coming through in slashes and ribbons. The carriage stopped not too far into the forest and the door opened to reveal Brother Ezekiel.

" _We have arrived,_ " he announced with his normal telepathic flare.

Finn climbed out first to see they were near the base of a mountain, stretching high above the trees. He took a deep breath of fresh air. The carriage was nice, but being trapped inside for a ride for such a long period of time made him glad for the nature. It reminded him of Fae, just a little. When Selina and Jem popped out, they seemed relieved for the freedom as well.

The three of them followed Brother Ezekiel (although Jem understandably knew where he was going, so really it was just Selina and Finn doing the following) down a barely marked track - a light trail where several feet had passed, leaving just the tiniest scar on the ground, a few inches wide. Through a thicket of trees against the mountainside, there was a doorway about fifteen feet in height. It was wide at the base and narrower at the top. There was a bas-relief carving of an angel just above the lintel. Brother Ezekiel took one of the rings on the door and knocked it hard, just once. The door opened, seemingly of its own accord.

Finn and Selina shared a glance before shrugging. Cool.

They walked down a narrow passage with smooth marble walls, and descended a staircase made of stone. There were no rails, so they were careful not to lose their footing. They'd once had an agreement that if anyone was to fall down a staircase, they'd reach for the nearest person to either save them or take them down too. Brother Ezekiel, in his long robe, had no such fear of falling. He seemed to glide down. Jem seemed indifferent, probably because he'd walked these halls and stairs plenty of times before as a Silent Brother, memorizing the entire path.

From there, they were in a larger space, the walls mosaicked with bones - some chalky white, some gray, some ashy, and some a disturbing brownish color. Long bones formed arches and columns, and skulls, top side out, formed most of the walls. They were finally left in a room where the bone art was really ambitious - great circling patterns of skills and bones gave the room shape. Above, smaller bones formed more delicate structures, such as changeliers, which glowed with witchlights. It was like being shown the end of the world's worst home-decorating show.

Finn had been to the City of Bones before, and had learned that the bones only got disconcerting if you started concentrating too hard. It was just one of those mental things where if you focused too hard, you started to realize how disgusting and mortifying the real world was in general. Animals especially were often abused: some hunted as game to be mounted on walls and/or skinned to make clothing, farm animals raised only to be harvested for things like milk and eggs, or just plain raised to be slaughtered as bacon or hamburger, and many animals such as mice and rats used for experimentation since they were expendable. Compared to the real world, the Silent City was tame and just practical for using bones for their architecture. Why waste the bones, right?

Brother Ezekiel left them in Jem's hands to go and make the final preparations as well as pick up Merida and their other chosen witness - a guy named Aaron that apparently the girls had become fond of back during their time at the Shadowhunter Academy.

Selina took deep breaths, shifting from foot to foot in anticipation. "You ready for this?" she asked eagerly.

"Ready as I'll ever be," he replied.

"You two remember the oath, I hope?" Jem asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Obviously!" Selina beamed. "I've been studying hard. Finn?"

"Of course I remember, Seels. You've drilled it into my skull."

"You two must put everything you have into this, know that you're bearing your hearts and souls to each other with no secrets. There's no taking this back unless extreme circumstances require it, and even then, separating parabatai in any way is as painful as death - maybe even more painful because you're still alive. And one of the most important rules: your relationship will be stronger than any normal bond, but it must still be platonic. Eros's love must never be a factor."

"No problem there," the two of them said together.

"We've lived together since childhood and not once have we thought that we'd work out as a couple," Finn informed the former Silent Brother.

"We've played boyfriend and girlfriend before and we can act as good as the next people, but no way would we come anywhere close to romantics," Selina agreed. "Being parabatai will squash any doubt anyone ever had."

"You're going to have different opinions in life, you're going to have quarrels and disagreements, but in the end you must remember that you took this vow to stay by each other's side for eternity," Jem continued. "Remember the water trial a few days ago. You are better together."

"Yeah we are!" Selina exclaimed, holding out a fist. "Pound it!"

Finn chuckled and gave her a fist-bump. "We really are a great team. With Merida, of course. If we could have a parabatai three-way, I'm sure she'd be included too."

"Speaking of which…" Jem began.

"I heard my name~!"

Merida came into the room dragging another boy behind her that Finn knew must be Aaron, while Brother Ezekiel (who had guided them there) disappeared once more, satisfied that he'd gotten them to the right place. Finn had maybe seen the Aaron guy around the Shadowhunter Academy during their short stay, but he wasn't  _that_  memorable. He had a generic mop of black hair and brown eyes, and he looked like a nice enough guy to Finn.

"Aaron, Finn. Finn, Aaron," Merida introduced, pointing at each boy respectively.

"Nice to formally meet you," Aaron said, hold his hand out. "The girls have told me a lot."

"Likewise," Finn said, extending his own had to shake the other boy's. "Though I'm not sure I really paid attention when they go of on a tangent about whatever it is they rant about, so sorry if I don't know much about you."

He chuckled. "No problem. I'd prefer to become friends the real way and not through gossip, if you don't mind."

"Can't argue with that. Off to a good start already."

"I'm loving these fancy duds," Merida commented. "It's like the only Shadowhunter gear that's clean. No tears, no ichor. Also it's a deeper black, lightweight, and 'formal.' We get to keep these, right?"

"All yours," Jem agreed.

"Sweet!"

Merida looked over to Finn, her face sobering up as she cleared her throat and stepped forward.

"I really am sorry, Finn."

He smiled. "It's fine, Mer. I know you were caught up in the heat of the moment. As long as you know what you did wrong and are willing to remedy the situation in the future, I can be open to forgiving you. Now Fae on the other hand…well, I'm not accustomed to all faerie rules, let alone the ones of being in the Wild Hunt, but you never know what kind of grudges he could hold."

She gave a sideways frown of thought. "Hmm, there's gotta be a way to make it up to him. Does he like brownies? I can make him brownies as a peace offering."

Finn laughed. "I'm sure he's never had a brownie in his life. Come to think of it, the only brownies he's acquainted with are the faerie variety."

"Oh, there  _are_  some Fair Folk called brownies, aren't there?! What if he thought I'd killed some brownies and were serving them to him like cannibalism?!"

Finn laughed. "I think he's smart enough to know that you wouldn't ever do that, but he still might be hesitant to eat any brownies."

"Aw, but my brownies are so good…" she pouted.

" _I'll_  eat your brownies, Mer," Selina promised. "And we can give Aaron some."

They looked over, having forgotten he was in the room.

"What's this about a faerie?" he asked.

"Oh, we just have a faerie friend from before the Dark War," Selina said, before narrowing her eyes. "You're not a Downworld-hater, are you? I've heard rumors of a group of Shadowhunters wanting to enslave Downworlders for no reason other than their blood - something they have no control over. Honestly, some Shadowhunters think that just because they have angel blood they're somehow  _not_  just as deadly as a rogue Downworlder. Look what happened with Valentine. The Clave thinks they've got  _everything_  under control, but guess what? They couldn't do shit when Valentine went on his reign of terror until it was too late because a Shadowhunter couldn't  _possibly_  be capable of the hatred needed for  _genocide_. Ugh. It makes me sick."

The two girls and Finn stared at Aaron with a triad of glares that showed if Aaron was a Downworld-hater he'd regret the day he was born. If he told them he wasn't and he was lying, he'd be dead ten times over.

"Of course not!" the scared boy quickly defended. "I'm all for the Alliance that Alec Lightwood has set up. But I've heard the rumors too. There was this one girl who I heard saying to her friends that she thought Magnus Bane somehow hypnotized and/or brainwashed Alec or something with magic just because his father's the Inquisitor. I don't know what's wrong with them, honestly, but they got shut down pretty quickly at the Academy. Ever since Simon Lewis came along, the kids there are becoming pro-equality, and so those outsiders got outnumbered despite their supposed high up status. Ask anyone at school - I'm for Downworlder equality."

Merida smirked. "Would've loved to have been there to show those girls up too."

"It's time, kids," Jem announced. "I will accompany you into the chamber. Merida will walk with Selina. Aaron will walk with Finn. Do you feel ready to continue?"

The four of them straightened. "Yes," Selina and Finn said in unison.

"Then we will proceed. Please follow me."

More corridors, but the bone gave way to more white marble, and then marble that had the appearance of gold. They arrived at a great set of doors, which were opened by Brother Ezekiel. The room they led to was the largest yet, with a towering, domed ceiling. There were marbles of all colors - white, black, pink, gold, silver. Every surface was utterly smooth. The room was occupied by a ring of Silent Brothers, maybe twenty in all, who parted to allow them in. The light in the room was dim and came from golden sconces and flickering candle light. The air was thick with incense.

"Aaron Half-Light and Finnegan Scion," Jem's voice resonated. Finn almost thought he heard it inside his mind, the way he had heard the other Silent Brothers. It still held a depth to it that seemed richer than human. "Cross to the other side of the circle, where they have made a space for you. When you get there, remain there. You will be told what to do."

Jem was awesome, Finn thought to himself. He was still technically a Silent Brother, equipped with the same knowledge and authority. Though he couldn't do all the powerful runes and magic without looking like the rest of the Brotherhood, he could look like a normal guy and live a normal life while also being accepted as a wise veteran who other Shadowhunters should show respect to.

Finn walked firmly across the room, despite the growing butterflies in his stomach, with Aaron following. Selina and Merida took their places on the opposite side. Jem joined the circle of Silent Brothers, who all stepped back as one, widening the circle. Now the four of them were at the center. Suddenly, two rings of white and gold fire appeared out of the floor, the flames rising just a few inches, but burning bright and hot.

" _Selina Dalmasca. Step forward._ "

The voices rang in Finn's head - all of the Brothers speaking as one. Selina gave an over-excited smile, trying to compose herself as she took a single step into one of the rings, probably resisting the urge to hop in. She gave a thumbs-up and clicked her tongue to signal she was a-okay. Bet no one had ever done  _that_ during such a serious ceremony.

" _Finnegan Scion. Step forward._ "

Finn nearly started moving before he had been ordered to, anticipating his turn and being a half-second too quick. Luckily the command was given just before he'd made his step so hopefully no one noticed.

" _Witnesses, you will stand on the wings of the angel._ "

Merida and Aaron looked to the top of the circle, where another figure of an angel with outstretched wings was carved roughly into the floor. The two of them moved to take their places on either wing.

" _We begin the Fiery Trial. Selina Dalmasca, Finnegan Scion, enter the center ring. In this ring, you will be bound._ "

Finn hadn't liked it when his full name was used - mostly because it usually came from his parents scolding him - and he had never heard his name said so many times in succession, but at the moment, he didn't really mind as much as normal. It still bugged him, obviously, but he pushed it to the back of his mind.

A central ring appeared, joining the two. A Venn diagram of fire. As soon as the Finn and Selina stepped in, the center ring burned higher, reaching waist height. It continued to flash higher, rising up to their shoulders.

" _You will now recite the oath._ "

If it was possible, Selina's smile grew wider. She and Finn had rehearsed more times than he could count and knew the exact speed and rhythm they would speak the ancient Biblical words at in perfect unison. Finn was admittedly nervous, but as he got started, he slipped into the comfortably memorized lines.

" _Entreat me not to leave thee_ ,  
" _Or return from following after thee_ -  
" _For whither thou goest, I will go_ ,  
" _And where thou lodgest, I will lodge_.  
" _Thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God_.  
" _Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried_.  
" _The Angel do so to me, and more also_ ,  
" _If aught but death part thee and me._ "

Selina happily had her parabatai rune drawn on the left side of her neck (her left, an observer facing her's right), while Finn had his placed just below his right clavicle. When the flames had extinguished and the ceremony ended, Selina was squealing with delight. Finn could definitely feel the bond, his new parabatai's feelings flooding into his head like a tidal wave of joy. Not that he himself wasn't excited too.

They went to Alicante next, taken to the Scion manor to change clothes. The Scion and Dalmasca families weren't as well known as others, but they were still important Shadowhunter families nonetheless. Finn, Merida, and Selina rarely ever went to their respective manors, but whenever they did, they always did so together, just for a change of scenery here and there. Sometimes their parents came and went, but they mostly lived in Idris for fancy Clave reasons.

Merida instantly dragged Aaron off, up the grand staircase and to the guest room he was given. The boy seemed terrified at the level of friendship that Merida and the two parabatai had with each other, feeling like a fourth wheel. He let out a small noise of surprise as Merida pulled him away. He seemed innocent enough, Finn decided. If he  _did_  end up stabbing them in the back in some way, he at least knew the kind of retribution he'd be facing. But if he didn't and turned out to be a really nice and genuine guy, Finn wouldn't mind another friend. Merida certainly didn't mind.

He and Selina shared a glance for one moment and found a consensus before their eyes even met. "Totally ship it," they declared in unison.

They fist-bumped and headed to their rooms to change. It was a new but comforting feeling, having his parabatai bond. Suddenly it felt like all of his feelings were centered around Selina as a friend. He felt like the unsteady ground he'd been standing on had permanently stabilized, now that he knew that he'd always have her by his side and even the Clave and any Shadowhunter he came across wouldn't and couldn't separate them. Finn didn't even mind that he was forced to wear a suit for the party.

Oh yeah.

"There's a  _party~!_ " Selina sing-songed.

She was wearing a flowing silver dress with one strap over her right shoulder and the other revealing her namesake crescent birthmark (as well as easily drawing attention to her new parabatai rune), while her hair that had been in a ponytail now flowed freely down the opposite side of her neck with the rune. Finn, meanwhile, wore a simple black tux with the jacket unbuttoned and no tie, since he was always afraid someone would choke him with it, and if someone so much as snagged it, he'd be trapped. Thinking ahead to a possible ambush, a tie would inhibit him if he was wearing it. He still had his tie in his pocket just in case, since it  _could_  be used to strangle  _someone else_  if a fight were to occur.

"You are so paranoid," Selina complained. "Come on, let's just get moving. Where's Merida and Aaron? Ah, there they are. Hurry it up!"

At the Accords Hall, the first face to greet Finn was Lock. "What are  _you_  doing here?" Finn demanded instantly.

"Aw, and here I thought we were becoming good friends IRL!" Lock exclaimed. "Why  _wouldn't_  I be here for your parabatai party?! I helped you with your water trial! I'm already in this to win it!"

Finn scowled, unimpressed.

Lock slumped in defeat. "I came with Magnus who came with Alec who came with Jace because they're parabatai. The Blackthorn family is here too since Julian Blackthorn and Emma Carstairs are parabatai. Oh, and let's not forget Simon and Clary are parabatai too, having done their ceremony soon after Simon graduated so that they could meet his technical 19th birthday deadline. It truly is a parabatai party of parabatai. And now you're part of the parabatai posse with your own parabatai partner. It is a positively palatial party with a palpable air of parabatai pleasure. There was a lot of parabatai in that statement. And just a lot of p's in general. And it was fun to say."

Finn rolled his eyes and sighed. "Merida, Aaron, let me formally introduce my warlock friend."

Lock held out his hand. "I'm Zytaveon Bane, son/friend/apprentice of Magnus Bane. You can call me what you'd like, but most people call me Veon or Ve, with a rare Zy and Zyta reserved for the extra wicked." He gave his usual suggestive wink that Finn didn't really know if he wanted to interpret.

Aaron and Merida each shook his hand (Aaron understandably taken back by the eccentric warlock and looking like he couldn't tell what exactly he was looking at).

"By ' _extra wicked_ ' you mean…?" Merida began.

"Demons," Lock nodded casually like they had both agreed on that previously, before frowning in thought. "Or Magnus when he's being a jerk. Ditto Caterina. Ragnor never even used nicknames at all. He was stuck-up, but at least he was nice. Anyway, the others are all waiting for you. Come on."

Lock -  _Veon_  (damn that would take getting used to) - led them into the celebration where all the people Lock mentioned had gathered. The Blackthorns took up half the guest population (at least in Finn's opinion, they were an army!), most of them clustered together around the table with the appetizers. Emma Carstairs was basically a part of the Blackthorn family in every way except blood, surname, and hair color, so he mentally counted her as a part of the Blackthorn crowd as well. Clary and Simon had come as a parabatai pair, Isabelle was there probably for both Alec and Simon, but overall, everyone was seemingly a part of one large family.

Finn had grown up with a grand total of two friends - one of which being his sister - and though he had made friends with a group of Downworlders, that was because  _they_  had basically come to  _him_. Finn knew  _of_ all these people, and maybe he'd talked to them once or twice at best, but he wasn't really sure he could properly socialize with so many. He's always had trouble making new friends. It wasn't as though he  _meant_ to. It was just the whole  _talking_  thing, having to remember  _names_ , remember things such as  _likes and dislikes_ , having to  _talk_  on a regular basis, having to  _agree_  about things, giving  _opinions_ , sustaining a relationship by actually  _meeting up_  often,  _talking_  (wait, did he already mention that?), and probably sharing things like hobbies - aka Finn's music which he  _really_  wasn't keen on opening up about to just everyone he met.

Just because he did all of these things with his current friend circle didn't make him want to start trying to do them with tons of new people. Aaron was already a part of Selina and Merida's life, so maybe he could get closer with time. He was more of an observer, indirectly learning things about Aaron from his interactions with Mer and Seels - same with everyone else, the girls took the attention and Finn learned everything he needed to know without having to do any socializing himself. But people were actually going to want to interact with him. Today. Now.

"Hey, we got this," Selina said reassuringly, nudging his shoulder gently with a warm smile. "Right?

Finn felt her comforting him through the parabatai bond, a comfort that he'd never felt so deeply before but was relieved to have. He took a deep breath and tried to relax into the relieving solace of their new bond. There was the delicious smell of roasting meat. Large platters of it were being placed on the tables now, along with vegetables and potatoes and breads and cheeses. The wine was being poured. It was time to celebrate. In the midst of all the terrible things that could happen and sometimes did happen, there was also this. There was a lot of love.

"Right," Finn smiled.

Finn gathered a plate of food and sat at a table, focusing on the food more than the people, but Jace Herondale was eager to share his 'manly, thoughtful advice' with him and Selina. Finn knew that Jace was one of the most famous Shadowhunters alive at the moment, having extra angel blood and heavenly fire or whatnot during the Dark War, but he came off as a bit…vain. Clary was really nice, and it baffled Finn how the two of them were somehow a couple. Once they were together, though, Jace seemed to soften just a little and Clary showed she had to tolerate some of Jace's traits as well.

Alec Lightwood was much different than his parabatai, bold in his own way and sticking up for what he believed in, even in small ways, but at the same time he tried not to offend others if he could avoid doing so. He was tired, that was obvious enough. Finn remembered that Alec and Magnus had recently adopted a baby warlock, and apparently Caterina was on babysitting duty that day. That undetermined sleep schedule combined with all his work with his Downworlder Alliance and Finn was impressed the guy looked as good as he did. Then again, dating a warlock who could help solve things in a snap must've helped just a  _little_.

Isabelle was happy to see Finn again and they explained their last encounter to the others, looking after Simon and his gang of former students back during a mission. Finn finally found the chance to complain about the stalling that nearly ruined everything and 'probably' got Mark and 'his faerie friend' in trouble. Simon and Isabelle defended themselves (Isabelle a little more than Simon) but sobered up at the latter concern. When Finn realized he had ruined the conversation, Selina and Merida came to his rescue, as always.

"We've got cake!" Merida announced.

The Blackthorns were like black holes, each of them attempting to eat their weight in whatever food they could get their hands on (one of the boys - Ty, maybe? He was the one named after the Tiber? - taking an entire wheel of cheese before Emma managed to stop him from digging in. Finn had been informed that he could actually eat the entire thing, but he'd subsequently throw it all up). The entire family got a cake all to themselves (three-tiered) but that was planned, as there were three in total.

Finn smiled at the sight. Cake.

"Think everyone's nice?" Selina asked. "No one to get upset?"

Finn considered everyone in the room. Julian was stubborn, but that was mostly because he had four little siblings to worry about. He still seemed like a nice guy, and Emma would reign him in if he got too out of hand. Besides, there were two warlocks present.

Finn tried to keep his smile in check. "I think we're good."

"Let's test out these parabatai runes, shall we?"

Selina took out her stele, which had been hidden in the pocket of her dress because of  _course_  Selina had pockets in her dress. What was she? An idiot? Merida had pockets too. Selina called  _Finn_  paranoid for having a tie in his pocket to strangle an intruder, honestly. He had a feeling that everyone in this room was armed in some way, shape, or form. They were Shadowhunters and warlocks.  _Anything_  could go wrong. Finn rolled up his sleeve and Selina started drawing a rune on his forearm. She drew a second on his other forearm, while Finn reciprocated with a rune on each of her upper arms. They drew runes they thought would be useful, while Finn considered whether to remove his jacket or not.

Finn got a warm and empowering sensation from the runes that Selina drew. He'd had her apply runes before, but now things had reached a whole new level. His smile grew from both anticipation and his excitement for his new bond. While Selina drew a rune on his plate, Finn grabbed the knife beside his plate and looked around before chucking it with his left hand - his non-dominant hand. It soared cleanly through the air at his target, piercing an apple on the table across the room as his Accuracy rune tingled from use.

"Ha, ha! Awesome! That rune's never worked so well."

"Uh, I recommend  _not_  throwing sharp objects when you don't know if your aim's gonna be precise," Lock (Veon, dammit) called, having the job of cutting slices of cake and setting them on plates spread out across the table.

"Mer, you good?" Selina called.

Merida drew a final rune on her inner forearm and then gave a thumbs up.

"Just what are you all doing?" Lock ( _Veon_ , get it into your head, Finnegan!) asked suspiciously.

Finn stood more confidently than he had all day, his hand on his plate with an uneaten piece of cake. "One thing you should know about our family. You can't just give us a party with cake and  _not_  expect to be a part of our traditional food fight."

With that he chucked his plate across the room, hitting Veon dead in the face with a splattering of frosting. The plate fell to the floor (not shattering, thanks to the rune placed upon it) and most of the dessert remained plastered to the scaled warlock. Veon wiped his face, looking surprisingly calm, if slightly surprised.

Then, his eyes zeroed in on Finn with a deadly fury. "Oh, it is  _on_ , Finnegan!"

He raised his arms up and out, the freshly cut pieces of cake on the take behind him all glowing with his bioluminescent green magic and floating up, before he thrust both of his arms forward like he was tossing a giant weight, all of the cake going flying forward in a missile barrage of pastries.

"Defensive maneuvers!" Selina shouted, pulling Finn beneath the table as they heard the pounding of the cakes raining down upon them. Luckily there were tablecloths draping down to cover their location, but it also left them blind to when a missile was coming in.

They slid down the length of the long table, Selina popping out to grab the nearest fruit and scribble a rune onto it. "Pineapple!" she called defiantly, which was the weirdest battle cry Finn had ever heard.

She ended up throwing an actual pineapple across the room, and Veon turned just in time to have it explode in his face, sending the fruit all across the room and knocking the warlock back. There wasn't enough force in the explosion to do any serious damage, but it definitely took him by surprise. It was then that Selina was hit with a lump of cake from someone else, and they looked over to see Magnus standing with a frosting-covered hand.

"What?" he asked innocently. "Who do you think taught Veon all there is to know about food fights?"

Another case of thrown food ended with Jace as the next victim covered in cake. "An excuse to throw food at Jace?" Simon clarified. "I'm in."

"Bring it on, Lewis," Jace challenged.

"That's Lovelace," Simon corrected, armed with another edible weapon. "Clary?"

She stood beside him. "Parabatai before partners," she shrugged.

"Alec, you'd better be on my side in this," Jace demanded.

"The things I put up with," Alec sighed, but a smile crept across his face.

"Let's throw stuff!" one of the younger Blackthorn children whooped.

After that the Blackthorns were fully integrated and the fight began. The room was filled with laughter and thrown food. Finn hadn't had such a big crowd to enjoy a food fight with before. He, Selina, and Merida were all experts when it came to working as a team, Magnus and Veon were the equivalent of warlock parabatai the way that they knew each other so well, Clary and Simon were childhood friends that formerly lived as mundanes who knew how to fight dirty with Isabelle obviously on Simon's team, while Jace was more fighting on his own and Alec occasionally backing him up. The Blackthorns couldn't seem to decide whether to work together or shove cake in their siblings' faces, while Emma was enjoying things and getting Julian to lighten up enough to smile at the scene.

Finn had never been happier that his parents 'couldn't attend' the party for Clave business since he could enjoy this moment to the fullest. Maybe this change wouldn't be as bad as he feared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: 'I'll Follow You Into the Dark' by Death Cab for Cutie


	16. Until We Meet Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna bring the pain so much but I also love the cheesy goodness. This is SOOOOO long, so sorry, the world will fall apart soon, I swear (there's something to be said when I'm trying to assure my readers that I'm going to torture my characters eventually). I wrote this ages ago so it's probably filled with errors and so cheesy you could make mac and cheese for a big Thanksgiving dinner. Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving, too. I know it's over at this point, but…it's the thought that counts?
> 
> Enjoy! :)

"And then I hit Alec on the shoulder and Magnus came to his defense, so Alec was really on the warlock team and left Jace to handle himself alone," Lock explained. "It was entirely an accident, but Magnus got me with a slice of cake before we teamed up again."

"I fear I cannot comprehend the meaning of this duel of sustenance," Fae frowned.

"We always have food fights during big meals," Hunter explained. "It was really the only fun we had without actual weapons. Besides, it was good practice. Using what you have and working with non-lethal weapons that aren't specifically built for combat proves to be a small challenge that we always enjoyed. It all started when I had a birthday and Merida shoved a cupcake in my face and the tradition was born."

"I see naught but the wasting of proper nutrients."

"Would cake count as 'proper nutrients?'" Merida asked.

"There was plenty to go around, faerie guy," Selina assured him. "The celebration had enough food to feed an army and then some. Parabatai ceremonies are a big thing, so all the parabatai of current times were there - along with their friends and family, so the Blackthorns, Isabelle Lightwood, Magnus and Veon, etc."

"Are we using proper names now?" Pyre asked. "Isn't the whole point of aliases to not know each other's names should we be interrogated?"

"Well I know yours and Wolf's names," Lock pointed out. "And Hunter knows his sister's and his friend's names just in general. Knowing Hunter's name really doesn't put him at any more of a risk with  _me_  per se. I take my secrets seriously, and I know a way to survive interrogations both physically and mentally. Fae's the only one in real danger for both knowing and giving information."

Fae gave a small scowl in Lock's direction. Of all the people to learn Hunter's true name. Fae knew that he needed to keep Hunter's name out of his grasp for both of their sakes, but at the same time, he assumed he would be the closest anyone came to learning. He couldn't deny the jealousy that flowed through him. And now that Hunter's sister and friend Selina had Hunter's trust and could be brought to the meeting grounds, Hunter felt like he had a bubble around him that Fae didn't dare touch. These people knew Hunter better than Fae ever could.

Merida was competitive with her brother, taking the opportunity to point out occasions he was flawed, but overall she seemed to care greatly about Hunter and worked hard to get along with the group of Downworlders - though she was very hesitant at first. She was untrusting despite what Hunter told her, probably a natural instinct she was working to suppress. In the end, she would do anything for Hunter, that was obvious enough.

Selina Dalmasca was Hunter's new parabatai, and Fae instantly sensed their bond without needing to look too hard. The two of them worked in perfect sync, knew each other's thoughts and actions prematurely, and had a past of immeasurable love. Their parabatai connection proved that there wasn't any romance between them, but Fae could see that without the knowledge of their bond. They were the best of friends, more comfortable around each other than anyone else. Fae could understand why Selina had been so protective the moment she believed there was foul play involved with her best friend.

Hunter's happiness reached heights Fae wasn't aware were possible. And it made him twist with rage and jealousy that he could barely keep within himself.

"So we just call you 'Fae,' right?"

Fae looked up and saw that Selina was addressing him, her silvery eyes locked onto his. His eye was more silver, he thought to himself - which was a true fact, however his petty need to feel superior was becoming troublesome.

"Yes. I am a faerie, I am to be designated as 'Faerie,' and Lock declared that Fae was a superior title."

She nodded with a warm smile. "It suits you. I…uh…I like your phoenix hair."

Fae internally tensed, but made sure to give no visible indication. "Phoenix?"

"Yeah. It's, like, kinda purple, then it fades to red, orange, and yellow. I guess this is coming from a girl who's just seen regular hair all her life, but your magic hair is cool. Well, technically the colors went the other way, yellow to dark purple, but the point stands."

Fae pulled his hair into view. Was it dark purple? A deep amethyst? A midnight mauve? He had always believed it was simply a shade of maroon until it became black. How would this girl conceive he was Phoenix from merely two encounters and observing his ever-changing locks? In truth, Fae still understood very little about being a deity. After he returned to the Hunt and explained his encounter with a Shadowhunter, he had taken the time to attempt to train his powers up to possibly learn more, perhaps awaken memories that the dragons he had met had mentioned. Beyond being reminded that magic was very hard in this form, he came no closer to the answers he sought. Yet this parabatai of Hunter's seemed to know something already within the little time they'd shared.

"Lady of the moon, you intrigue me evermore."

She giggled. Had Fae made some humorous quip without realizing it? "Thanks."

Hunter rolled his eyes. "Selina…"

"What? Got a problem,  _Hunter?_ "

"Yeah, maybe I do."

"Please, do enlighten us then."

Hunter looked over to Fae, then around the room to the others, before sighing and leaning back against the wall. "I'm glad you're getting along."

"My parabatai, do I sense a hint of jealousy?"

"Jealous of your socializing skills? No way."

"Well, how else am I supposed to practice my skills? We don't meet enough people, and even on missions we most likely never see those guys again. Even Mer has a boy now!"

"I do not," Merida sneered.

"Aw, but you two look so cute together. Fi-" She caught herself. " _Hunter_  ships it too, you know."

As the debate went on about some mysterious boy that Merida was courting, Fae couldn't help but let his mind wander to what Selina had said - or rather, what she'd managed not to say. Fae wanted to know Hunter's true name desperately now. Pyre and Wolf were the only ones who also remained in the dark. His name started with an 'F.' What irony was that? Selina had made an 'I' sound after the 'F,' like she was about to say 'Fit' or 'Fickle.' Fae tried not to think of names that might match that description. He shouldn't be starting down that path.

It certainly couldn't be Falorios then. Hm, where did he come up with Falorios? That name sounded familiar…

' _Falorios, twelfth son of the Lepidopterians. Stay away from me, you hot-headed bird brain_.'

"So, Fae, tell me about yourself."

Fae blinked and cursed in the faerie language. He was beginning to remember something. It was a memory of someone who probably didn't like him, but a memory nonetheless. It definitely wasn't a memory he had already, but now he knew that it was his and he wanted to remember more. Anything to help him with this whole Infernian thing that was eating away at him as he tried to figure it out.

Then Selina had to try talking to him again.

"Selina, you shouldn't provoke him when he's in thought like that," Lock warned, looking ready to take a big step back.

"I am a faerie of the Wild Hunt!" Fae snapped. "That is all you should concern yourself with! All else is my personal business or secrets I must keep for the sake of the Hunt! We would execute you by any means necessary should you learn more than you must, and I shall be severely punished in ways I cannot express through words! If you are to share your forbidden knowledge with others, we shall hunt each person down, torture them in countless cruel ways, and feed them to the hounds!"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," Selina said gently.

"Fae, she's still learning how to talk to faeries, just like when you were learning to talk to me, remember?" Hunter said. "Just give her another chance. She'll learn from her mistakes."

Fae sighed. This was Hunter's parabatai. He needed to reign his anger. "My apologies. I make no excuses for my temper, however, my energy runs low."

"You do a lot of hard stuff in the Hunt?"

"No, nothing that wears away at my resolve and stamina. I merely trained my abilities of my own accord to no avail and must take time to recover. Magic is not easy as a male. We are often stronger physically, as opposed to a woman's magical prowess. There are exceptions, of course, but very few."

"So why did you train your magic? You seemed like a pretty good physical fighter during our first encounter."

"I wish to learn what I have lost. Besides, a weakness such as magic may be exploited one day. It is never detrimental to have training to understand your low points. To admit your weaknesses and work to improve them is a noble feat. There is always more to learn in life, no matter how elite you believe you are."

"Wow, you're really wise."

"I must be. I have lived my life a faerie."

- ** _TFOT_** -

The days with Selina proved to be more tiring than anything Fae had encountered before. It was no longer a joy to come to the meeting grounds whenever she came. She pestered him for information, attempting to make conversation with each meeting. Hunter tried to stop her sometimes, for even he seemed to realize how much she was annoying Fae, but it seemed that he couldn't stop his parabatai if he wanted to. Selina made an effort to respect Fae and his boundaries, but there wasn't much else to talk about that would include Fae in a conversation. She knew nothing about talking to him, and Fae could see that the others were becoming concerned - though for Fae or for Selina, it was unclear.

Fae made an effort to respect Hunter's parabatai, but as time went by and Hunter could never come to the meeting grounds without his sister and Selina, Fae became frustrated at his lack of free time to have with Hunter - mainly because he couldn't be intimate in  _any_  way. He had never appreciated the small moments of contact and love as much as he did now, when he no longer had them at his disposal. Hunter was always quiet, playing his guitar or observing the conversations around him, but now his friends were loud and obnoxious, and Fae didn't know how he tolerated them. Perhaps this was why he came to the meeting grounds for peace.

"ENOUGH!" Fae shouted.

He had never been so pissed off in his life, but he now had an endless headache and was still frustrated that he couldn't figure out any of his Phoenix origins. He was tired, irritable, and he couldn't even come here for a moment of peace. Seeing Hunter once made every pain fade away, hearing Lock's attempt at explaining mundane slang and getting Fae to lighten up was comforting, and even Pyre and Wolf's tempers were enduringly warm. And yet now-

"You never stop talking, do you?!" He spat at Selina. "I've met monsters that have annoyed me less, I've dealt with dozens of brothers that never stop pestering me, and yet you seem to triumph against them all! I have amused you for Hunter's sake for this fortnight but I cannot tolerate it any longer! This is a place I come for sanctuary, for peace, for quiet, but even Pyre and Wolf's banter pales in comparison to your…your  _ranting!_  I find more peace during a night with the Hunt than here! At least there I can sit under the stars surrounded by nature, by my brother's side, and can take my leave from the Hunt when I wish! Hunter is quiet, he is docile with strength and courage and wisdom. His songs hold emotion and meaning, his words humble and gracious, but I find no such traits within you! You are an annoying, nonsensical, obnoxious, sonorous brat!"

Fae turned and stormed away, quite literally as his horse appeared in a boom of thunder and Fae hopped on without hesitation, the two of them gone within seconds. He knew he would regret losing his temper later on, he always did, but at the moment, he was too enraged to care. He felt like his life was falling apart around him, his friend circle shattered, his peace ruptured, and his Hunter was being taken right in front of him. And it hurt. He knew that things between him and Hunter would fall apart one day, but this wasn't how he expected it to. He wasn't prepared yet. He thought he would be, but he wasn't.

Fionn Flann Kingson did not cry. He cried once for his mother on the day she was slain. But after that, he promised to never do so again. He did, however, scream. He shouted to the sky with all he had, punching a tree and taking it down with a fist of lightning. He had never harnessed electricity like that before, but there wasn't much celebrating to be done. He'd worn himself out for the day and then some, collapsing against the broken tree.

His horse clopped over to him, nudging the faerie with his nose in a comforting way. Fionn rubbed Zoltan's muzzle in thanks. His horse knew when things were really bad, and when push came to shove, the steed would always be by Fionn's side. He couldn't go back, not yet. He knew he should apologize, but it was too soon. Fionn let out a deep breath, releasing the tension surging throughout his body. He just needed a break from everything. He would take some time to cool down. A  _lot_  of time. He needed to get his mental state in order again.

Some time dedicated completely to the Hunt would do him good.

- ** _TFOT_** -

"I messed up," Selina muttered, pacing Finn's room. "By the angel, I just wanted to get to know him and make friends!"

"We  _did_  try to warn you," Merida said. "It was obvious enough that he wasn't one for talking about random things."

Selina sighed. "I should've seen it too, but I was so distracted and desperate to get things right!"

Finn was finding this was a natural trend with Selina. She had the best of intentions and was a really a good person on the inside, but sometimes her attempts to come off as a casual and regular mundane caused her to overcompensate. Being raised with little to go off of made things hard. While Finn opted to try and  _not_ interact with people socially, Selina and Merida tried to observe and mimic mundanes to the best of their ability. They learned that mundanes joked around a lot, didn't like people to take things to seriously, and had to have a lot of topics to speak about to keep a conversation going. Of course, faeries weren't like mundanes, hardly, and they didn't easily become fond of anyone, be it their own kind or another's.

Finn felt that he should be flattered that Fae found  _him_  likable out of all the people that Fae wouldn't and couldn't trust, but he now felt bad for Selina. It wasn't her fault that she didn't know how to interact with Fae. She wanted to get along with him, even if her intentions were to get him to fall in  _love_  with her (which was  _not_  going to happen, hopefully), but she didn't know how.

"Seels, maybe it's best if you and Mer didn't come to the meeting grounds."

"I can do better, Finn! Really! I didn't mean to ruin things! I want to apologize!"

"I know that you mean well, Selina. You and Fae could definitely get along. But he doesn't like this person that you're pretending to be. You seem to layer another personality on top of your own because you feel that you yourself aren't enough. We never grew up with the opportunity to act normal, but that doesn't mean that we're broken or anything. You can't swing too far to the eccentric and excitable side, but you also can't be stone-faced and cold-blooded. You need to find a balance, which I  _know_  you're capable of if you just relax and be yourself. Fae needs time to cool down. Anything that can piss  _him_  off means trouble. He's grown up having to prove himself in a world that hates weakness. Losing control is something he  _never_ does, especially not like that. Let him cool down, and I'll try talking with him if he comes back. Until then, you two should stay away."

"It's not like I really  _need_  to go to your little meetings," Merida said. "I've been in the background for all this time, so I don't feel that I'm missing too much. I can just go back to my normal routine and pop in here and there if I'm in the mood. Selina?"

She sighed. "Just let him know that I'm sorry."

"I'm sure he knows. He's good at reading people. I think he stopped himself from saying anything because he sensed you were a good person on the inside. It just…he didn't see any proof, and he has little tolerance for those who can't sober up. If you acted like that in faerie, you'd probably draw the anger of everyone you passed. Even if you didn't, talking like that usually equates to taunting or presuming your entitled and above him. Coming from a Shadowhunter…well, yeah. Besides, all he's ever known before is me, and I'm not anything like you. Lock's eccentric, but he respects Fae and they have a past together. Wolf and Pyre usually argue for the sake of arguing and mostly keep it between themselves because they're basically a couple at this point, and Fae finds he's all good as long as he's not obligated to say anything too often."

"So pestering him every day to talk to you isn't the way to go," Merida concluded.

"I can't help it!" Selina whined. "It's the only way I know how to make friends! Talking is the only thing I have in common with him and the only way to learn more!"

"How about you just let things happen over time?" Finn suggested. "Getting into Fae's life takes a lot of time. He's got walls up, and being a Shadowhunter does prove to hold a lot of problems. He's not really into the whole romance thing either, so I see you as pretty good friends."

Selina sighed. "Well, friendship comes before romantics. I'll work on my social skills in the meantime."

- ** _TFOT_** -

"You seemed pretty chill about not coming to the meeting grounds," Finn said to Merida as they cleaned their weapons after a mission. "After all this time, I'd think it was what you always wanted."

"Yeah, well I've seen your friends. I know they're good people, and nothing's happened in all these years to warrant an investigation. Besides, I'm really busy, so I don't have the time to come every time you meet up."

"You going on extra missions or something?"

"No, I've been going to the Shadowhunter Academy. Since I'm already a trained Shadowhunter, I've gotten through the advanced classes pretty easily. Lock gives lectures to all the students, no matter who they are, so I see him a couple times a month. I'm not sure if he's ever noticed me before - there are a lot of students, after all. But I wanna get high up in the ranks to show everyone that we need to change. Simon Lewis has been helpful in making an uprising among the students to stop being so racist towards Downworlders and I've been helping."

"You're going far. You going to the Scholomance?"

"I don't know. Maybe. It's not the worst idea. I don't really wanna leave you and Selina."

"You have the chance to make a real difference. All those tough guys that are higher up are gonna be ruthless to faeries and are gonna act all high and mighty like they're better than all of us. I'd like to know that someone I trust is out there with the power to enforce the law the right way and not the biased, racist, vain, conceited, narcissistic way. I've got a faerie friend, you know. Fae…anything could happen to him."

She smiled. "You know, I might just do that. If you'll behave yourselves without me, of course."

"I think we'll manage just fine."

"I hope so. Anyway, I've still gotta get through my second year before I can qualify. I'll decide when I get there. We don't know how things will change, Finn. You know that I'll have to keep secrets about what I do there. And what if I don't like it? What if they  _force_  me to change or I flunk out?"

"They can't deny you if you show how good you are. They opened the Scholomance because of the Cold Peace and they need all the help they can get. If they find an elite Shadowhunter, they're gonna take you whether they like it or not. Besides, being a Centurion will be cool. Maybe you'll get a badge. Trust me, you'll have no trouble. If they try to boss you around, you'll show 'em."

She smiled. "Thanks, little bro."

- ** _TFOT_** -

Hunter went back to the meeting grounds each day afterwards, meeting Lock, Pyre, and Wolf, but seeing no sign of Fae. They knew that only Fae could make the decision to come back, but none of them could guess how long it'd take for him to cool down. It wasn't hard to assume that he was fiery, and Lock - being the one to know Fae for the longest - could confirm Fae's pride. After losing control like that, Fae wouldn't be keen on returning to face Selina.

"You know that he's afraid to face  _you_  too, Hunt," Wolf pointed out casually.

"M-Me?" Hunter stuttered. Did they know about his and Fae's relationship?

"Yeah. Selina's your parabatai. He said some bad things to her, and she means so much to you that he's afraid you're mad at him. You know that all of us don't like upsetting you considering your former condition. Obviously, things have gotten better, but that doesn't change the fact that we all care."

Hunter sighed. "He should know me better than that. All you guys have ever done is be nice to me. It's only expected that I forgive you for little mistakes like this. Fae's a good person, I know he is, and he's under a lot of pressure as a faerie. Selina pushed him the wrong way, and she knows she was wrong. She doesn't really understand how to socialize very well."

"Especially with a faerie," Pyre remarked. "I mean, honestly, she just kept pushing him."

"We'll have to improve on her communication skills, yes. She's really regretful and wants to apologize and become actual friends with him. Selina's a good person, but she puts on a façade because she doesn't fully understand how to act around other people. We've been isolated for most of our lives, and any social skills we  _do_  have tend to come from mundanes. Of course, mundanes and the Shadow World are two very different places. You guys should know, having to interact with them on a daily basis."

"Oh yeah," Wolf smirked. "It takes a ton of practice to properly understand the two worlds and how to live in them both."

"Give Fae some cooldown time," Lock advised. "He knows all the nonsense that non-fey cause and what he's had to deal with. Enlightening him has been an…interesting task. He'll be back in no time, Hunt."

Hunter wanted to believe that was true. Still, as time passed, he became more and more concerned. He was reminded of the last time that he'd lost Fae, worrying over when he'd come back and remembering all the lines he had planned to apologize with. He wasn't as nervous as before, mostly because he wasn't concerned that Fae was dead because of him, but still, he felt an emptiness in his life.

It had been a long time since he was last intimate with Fae in any way. He missed sitting beside Fae's warmth and just inhaling his scent. He missed seeing Fae smile at his music with his hair a warm honey color. He missed Fae's laughs and kisses and even just those moments where he was sitting quietly observing the scene with a curious face.

He waited each day for as long as he could, but it would be a long time before Fae finally reappeared.

* * *

Perhaps Fionn should've taken the opportunity to join his brother and Mark Blackthorn. Mynydd Mawr sounded nice right about now.

The Hunt was attending a revel that night with the local goblins, piskies, and whatnots, and he had decided that passing up this night after all of his recent excursions would look bad on his part. He had stayed within the Hunt for more time than usual in recent days, still leaving here and there, but never going to the meeting grounds. He knew he needed to go and speak to Hunter at some point, and Selina, but Fionn, in all honesty, didn't want to.

Still, he ached for the chance to escape this revel. He wasn't in the mood for relaxing at the moment, but leaving prematurely would be rude and raise suspicion - something he'd best avoid if possible. It was slightly relieving, not having to worry about being found out for his confidential trips. Granted, he missed Hunter even more than before. After all, with Selina and Merida blocking him from alone time with Hunter and now his abstaining from the meeting grounds entirely, he hadn't had the chance to even touch Hunter for ages.

Once he had something to really look forward to when he snuck out, his paranoia rose and his judgment skills lacked. Faeries were adept at telling the signs when people had something to hide, and even with years of practice, Fionn had found himself slipping. He had needed to recompose himself, else he would lose much more than just Hunter. This was becoming a good chance to practice acting as though there was nothing he was hiding anymore.

It took a small amount of time, but eventually, Fionn fell into the rhythm of socializing with the different species at the revel. He knew how to charm people into liking him - especially if they were under the influence of alcohol or drugs of some type (which was inevitable at any party, especially a faerie one) - but tonight he couldn't bring himself to allow anyone to kiss him, even if he offended some. Unlike most of his kind, he wasn't bisexual, he was strictly into men - not that he knew that for a good deal of his life because he rejected  _all_  romantic advances before he learned that doing so gave him more enemies than it did allies. For one reason or another, he just didn't find any attraction to women, even if he respected some for their abilities. Growing up in the Unseelie Court, he'd grown to hate women, let alone be attracted to them. At the very least he had found the will to respect a woman if she proved herself, but if she didn't, Fionn would show no mercy.

He managed to smooth-talk his way into rejecting those that made any advances on him, but each time he had to work extremely hard not to admit his feelings for a Shadowhunter. He knew how disastrous that could be - especially with the Cold Peace in play. On the bright side, he got practice and became more experienced with slipping around questions that might lead to the wrong thing being said, no longer getting nervous or even flustered when someone asked. During the times when he  _did_  get nervous, it was easy to blame things on the wine - since he  _was_  drinking some and letting people assume things was one of a faerie's greatest tactics.

About halfway through the night, Fionn finally admitted defeat and reported his leave - which no one, even Gwyn, really cared about at that point. He headed out for a ride on Zoltan, assuming, based on the moon's position, that it was still many hours from dawn, yet he had still been at the revel for more than enough time for his friends to be asleep, so no meeting tonight. He headed to Mynydd Mawr, finding that a storm had occurred recently. Windspear and Mark's steed were pacing around, and as Fionn dismounted Zoltan, he went over to presumably chat with them. Mark's steed seemed particularly happy for the company - she was feisty, that one, but fond of Mark, at least.

When Fionn poked his head into the shelter, he instantly regretted it as he saw his brother and Mark in a position he never wished to see. At the very least the two of them had finally confessed their feelings and moved forward, but this was  _not_  how he wished to learn. He grabbed a blanket from Zoltan's saddlebag and tossed it over the two of them, sleeping soundly in each other's arms. Kieran looked so content and relaxed, and Fionn felt his jealousy surge again - only this time, he knew its source.

He went back to Zoltan. Fionn didn't really want to be awake for an awkward conversation about finding his brother sleeping with Mark, so he debated another place to stay. Perhaps this was the perfect chance to go to the meeting grounds, but it was unlikely that anyone would be there at that hour. Fionn concentrated on Lock's wards, and to his surprise, Hunter was there. It was quiet, so he didn't seem to be playing anything, but it was definitely him there.

Fionn sighed. He needed to apologize. He needed to remedy this issue that had arisen because of Hunter's parabatai. There would be no severing the bond between Hunter and Selina. The lady of the moon had good intentions, he knew, and Hunter would take her side should Fionn act so rash once more. This was their future now, and if he loved Hunter, he would have to learn to care for Selina as well. Fionn needed to stop putting off the inevitable and reconcile. He would deal with this new development one way or another. Fionn climbed aboard Zoltan and left for the meeting grounds.

Upon arriving, Fae allowed Zoltan to leave to do as he pleased, walking down the tunnels and into the main area. When he got there, he looked around for Hunter and saw him sitting in his usual spot where he played when he was alone. Fae walked up to him, but upon closer inspection, he saw that Hunter was asleep, his guitar still laying in his lap. Fae couldn't help but smile at the sight. He wondered how long it had been since Hunter had last seen him. Time worked differently in Faerie, and never consistently faster or slower.

He kneeled down and carefully extracted the instrument from Hunter's grasp and put it into the case, following the process that he'd seen Hunter do countless times. Fae debated on what to do with Hunter - it wasn't like Fae knew where Hunter lived to take him home. He considered what to do before remembering the gems that Lock gave to each of them if they needed to get to the meeting grounds whenever they were far away. Zoltan was a special steed that could run fast, but he could also teleport once he got up to speed, and so after Zoltan found the location the first time, Fae's horse could take him there any time he wanted.

Fae searched Hunter's pockets and found the small gem, activating it as the portal popped open. He dropped the guitar case through gently, hoping that it didn't fall when it arrived and take damage, before gently scooping Hunter into his arms. Fae lived with the Wild Hunt, where he had to live off of small meals for long periods of time, so he wasn't exactly, what the others would call a 'bodybuilder' - as they had told him before - but he was still plenty strong enough to lift things heavier than himself if he used the right technique. He had wrestled things five times Hunter's weight, after all.

He carried Hunter through the portal that automatically took them to the last location Hunter had portaled to the meeting grounds from, and Fae still had access to it, thankfully, since Lock's wards were smart and gave the five of them (roll credits) access to anything that might help them if there was an emergency. When he arrived, the portal snapped shut behind them with the gem at the floor where it had been, and Fae looked around at the simple room that was Hunter's. There was a desk covered in random things - notebooks with runes and sheet music, for example - a closet with mostly black clothes (Fae could only roll his eyes. Shadowhunters), a vanity with pictures attached to it unceremoniously with tape, a bookshelf with books of all kinds, colors, sizes, and shapes, and miscellaneous Shadowhunter objects that Fae didn't even want to  _try_  and name. In the pictures on the vanity, he saw Hunter with his sister and Selina. Hunter looked different, somehow.

The hair color, he realized. Hunter had an odd shade of orange hair - nothing magical like Fae's hair, just a regular human's. Fae wasn't sure that he was even capable of shifting his hair to match Hunter's non-enchanted shade. The closest he could muster still glowed like neon compared to the Shadowhunter's. Magic hair was magic hair, he supposed. There was still something that Fae couldn't pick out at the moment, but overall he could surmise Hunter used a glamour for security's sake. He knew that Hunter's image was suspect, but he had never considered what he might truly look like.

Fae took Hunter to the bed on the other side of the room. He attempted to gently place the Shadowhunter on the soft mattress (something that Fae had never laid on, but it seemed nice), but Hunter gripped Fae's shirt in his sleep and groaned in protest. Fae chuckled and tried to gently pry Hunter off of him, and when he finally did, Hunter sulked in his sleep and rolled to face away from Fae. Fae snickered at Hunter's grumpy face, and Hunter seemed to hear because he rolled over again and his eyes slowly cracked open.

He took a very long time to process what was happening, figuring out where he was, where he'd fallen asleep, and who was in his line of sight. "Fae…?"

"My apologies. I did not mean to wake you."

"Did I fall asleep?"

"It would appear so. I found you in the meeting grounds passed out."

Hunter rubbed his eyes and sat up. "I'm…in my room? You brought me home?"

"Yes. I assumed you wouldn't be comfortable waking in such a position."

"B-But how did you…?"

"I used your crystal to take me to your last location and arrived here. I apologize, but I seem to have learned a small bit about you in the process. I confirmed this was your room through the pictures of you and your friends."

"My…oh, the pictures. Yeah. I guess I'm sentimental like that. Sorry."

"You mustn't apologize when there is nothing to apologize for. You are quite adorable, and you look quite handsome as a…ginger, as you once called me. Albeit your hair is a shade of orange mine could never hope to accomplish. Perhaps it is explained by the fact that mine possesses enchanted properties and yours is natural."

Hunter's eyebrow raised in confusion, looking at Fae's hair, before eyes widened and he reached up to look at a strand of his hair. It was still brown. "I…I'm sorry, I just wanted to make sure I was unrecognizable, so…"

Fae gave Hunter a light kiss. "What did I just say about apologizing when there is nothing wrong?"

"I-I…you fell in love with a lie."

Fae gently swept a hand across Hunter's cheek. "When will the rune wear off?"

Hunter blushed at the touch and started looking around quickly. "W-Well, I put it on at seven, and it's…" He looked at one of the circular contraptions his kind used for telling time on the wall. "One in the morning…so any moment now. It's probably already failing."

Sure enough, Hunter's hair was beginning to brighten from a dark brown to a pale orange. Even when Fae was in the right mood, the closest shade of orange he could get was still more abstract, vivid and blazing like real fire - nothing like Hunter's ginger. Hunter's eyes were darkening from an ocean blue to a moss green, and dots were beginning to slightly fade in on his face as freckles came into existence. His face shape remained relatively the same, but the small changes did make a big difference. Hunter had been hiding his true beauty behind his veil. Fae felt his emotion grow as the transformation progressed further and further.

"My Hunter…"

Hunter kept his gaze down in shame. "I…I know I'm…"

Fae kissed him. It wasn't a small, light peck, it wasn't chaste. It was deep and hard as Fae tried to express everything he was feeling to the thick-skulled Shadowhunter.

And everyone (including Fae himself) thought that  _Fae_  was the stubborn one.

He leaned forward and Hunter fell back so that Fae was resting on the bed as well, almost lying on top of Hunter with his arms at either side of his body. He attempted to avoid actually touching Hunter's body with his own (other than the kiss) since he knew he shouldn't push Hunter further too fast and he wasn't confident he'd be able to hold himself back if he felt the Shadowhunter's warmth against him. Hunter wasn't helping by trying to get closer on his own, tempting Fae all the more as he pulled the prince down by his shirt. Hunter and his bravery when he was blissed out. Honestly.

Fae pulled back just slightly, feeling Hunter's heavy breathing and looking at his dazed eyes. "You are beautiful."

A blush took over his face, accentuated by his new freckles. "S-So…w-why did you…did you want to see me for something? I-I mean, if you came to see me so late at night…"

Fae shrugged, still closer than personal space should allow. "I was bored, and my brother was occupied. The Hunt was at a revel tonight which I had to attend to keep appearances up, but I managed to take my leave half-way through without incident. They'll be busy until dawn at the earliest, and most of the others are going to be resting for the rest of tomorrow as well to make up for the long night. Lucky for my brother. He got away from the revels and will most likely want to remain undisturbed for his morning."

"Why? He got away and you couldn't?"

"I don't think he wanted me to be around either way, and if both of us miss the parties, it would be seen as disrespectful. He finally took the opportunity to admit his feelings for the Blackthorn boy, and I am confident that it ended well."

"Blackthorn?  _Mark_  Blackthorn? Your brother likes Mark?"

"Yes. Is there a problem with such a relationship?"

"No, no. Not everyone really cares about what happened to Mark, but word got around. Not a lot of people appreciated what he did during the war, giving the warning of the faerie's betrayal. Oh, sorry."

Fae shook his head. "My kind made a mistake, they shall make many more. You have every right to blame me and my people for our actions."

"Hey, that's not what I meant. You never raised arms against us, right? Faeries are…different, some are cruel, but never have you been like that."

"My candid nature may suggest otherwise. Non-fey find it an undesirable trait. We like to speak truths and revel in another's horror at our speech. I myself am guilty of enjoying reactions to the straightforward way of life. You humans live your lives in copious mystery. Every word you speak and every word you hear can contain deceit. I cannot fathom how you survive in such a world, how you find trust in any when not a word could be true."

"We like to believe in the good of people, and most of us try to stop hatred."

"Is that why I first found you hurt and broken when you had run from those that cared not for your happiness?"

"I said that we try, not that we're completely successful. Even the faeries haven't made a world without hate in a place that lies are not an option. If anything, it's only made things worse. None of us will be perfect, I suppose. But you're the best faerie I've met, and you're an example of the change that can happen."

Fae ran his hands through Hunter's newly red hair. "And you, my Hunter, are an example of the care a Shadowhunter can have. You're the most beautiful Nephilim I've ever known and never believed could exist. And…I suppose I was fearful I would lose you. You have a parabatai now, someone who is bonded to you through magics I cannot comprehend. Above all else, you shall stand by her side. As I saw this change occur, I began to realize that we are facing an inevitable end."

"Fae-"

"Do not attempt to lie to neither me nor yourself. We were doomed to fail from the moment we began. Possibly from long before. I imparted my fears upon your companion, for now, I have become so fond of you that the loss shall break me far more than I had initially anticipated."

"You never know, Fae. The future is uncertain for all of us. I didn't believe there was such a thing as miracles a while back. I believed I was fated only to grow up unhappy and a disgrace to my family. I wanted to run, I wanted to die. But then, a miracle  _did_  happen. As I fell from this building, a horse suddenly zipped out of nowhere, knocked the wind out of me, and then dumped me in front of the most amazing - and quite charming - faerie in existence."

That got Fae to smile. "Well, I still seldom believe in miracles or luck. Fate is a cruel mistress, as I have learned. For every blessing it gives, it takes the equivalent when you least expect it. Perhaps this is my reprisal for having something that makes me happy. I've now a love that begets a dark shadow of jealousy and possessiveness. It is a terrible feeling, this rage within me, this feeling of helplessness as I see the truth behind my actions. I have lived my life within a pit of misery, but now I have dared to make my escape. Now, I am held only by a thread of hope that I know shall snap at any moment. I have risen so high that my fall will no doubt break me."

Hunter rested his forehead on Fae's with a heavy sigh. "Fae, I'm not gonna give up on you like that. Just because Selina's my parabatai doesn't mean that I'm going to throw you away. I'm not gonna let you go that easily. Selina is a part of me and my life now and will be forever, but you are too. I'm terrified that something will happen to you each day. I don't know if I could survive without you. I guess we're both in deep shit now. All we can do is work hard to keep things the way they are. If we care, we're not gonna let anything stop us."

"There are choices to be made, my Hunter. I've a brother that I dedicated my life to long ago. You have a sister and a parabatai that you must put before all else. We cannot protect everything we love."

"The Clave says to put the law above love. They say we can't have it all, and when we have to make choices, we have to make the hard ones. Well you know what? I'm sick of it. I'm not the Shadowhunter they want, and I never will be. So I'm saying 'Screw you' to the rules and inevitability and whatnot. No matter what it takes, I'm going to fight for what I love. We're not losing anyone any time soon. If I must, I will charge straight into Faerieland and the Wild Hunt and drag you and your brother out by force. Mark Blackthorn too, if he's that important to your brother. Worse comes to worst, we all just run."

Fae chuckled and kissed Hunter's forehead. "It is a foolish plan, but your resolve is admirable."

"I mean it, Fae. I'm not gonna sit back and let fate take everything away from me, not without a fight."

Fae smiled. "I can only hope to live up to your caliber."

He shrugged. "Well, I'm just trying to live up to yours."

Hunter kissed him gently, slipping his hand behind Fae's head to pull him in closer, sliding his fingers through his soft locks and feeling as they came free from behind his pointed ears. Fae was careful and took his time, exploring every inch of Hunter's mouth, memorizing it, and still not come off as overwhelming. The languid kiss had Hunter shuddering beneath the faerie and pulling on his shirt to bring him closer. Fae tried to avoid it, but he was pulled down and melted against Hunter, unable to resist pressing their bodies flush against each other. Fae rolled his hips against Hunter and was rewarded with a moan from the Shadowhunter below him.

"My Hunter, I fear I won't be able to hold back should we continue like this."

Hunter's eyes were glazed over with lust that Fae knew he would never be bold enough to show anywhere else. "And if I don't want you to?"

Fae's eyes flared with a dark fire. "You command me to stop the moment you feel discomfort. Understand?"

Hunter nodded frantically before pulling Fae back into a kiss, and this time, Fae didn't hold back. This was his Hunter, and he would fight for him. He would believe for him. He would hope against all odds for him.

- ** _TFOT_** -

When Finn woke up, he was snuggling up against a warm body, feeling soft hair gently falling against his cheek and thin yet strong arms wrapped around him protectively. He didn't want to wake up, afraid to shift and ruin the moment. He didn't know why he was so content, but he wanted to stay that way.

He felt a chuckle ripple through the chest next to his ear. "My Hunter. I fear I must go soon or I will not be able to leave."

Finn slowly opened his eyes, trying to wake up. "Fae?"

"Yes. Are you in any discomfort?"

Finn -  _Hunter_  shifted and felt stiff and sore. Not unbearable if he held still, but he'd need a rune if he wanted to get up and actually do something productive today. Or  _anything_  else besides lay there, really. It was then that he remembered what had happened last night, well this morning. He was too tired to be panicked, but he still started warming in embarrassment.

"I can't move," he admitted sincerely. "Where's my stele?"

"I retrieved it. Allow me."

He held the stele over Hunter's heart and it started to glow, lighting up a fiery red and searing the Iratze rune onto his chest. Hunter slowly felt his muscles relax and the soreness recede. He carefully shifted and felt no more pain. That…was faster than he expected. Selina was his parabatai, so naturally, when she drew runes on him they were stronger, but…Fae's rune was full of so much energy it even put  _her_  runes to shame. It felt a bit unnatural, but in a good way. It was almost scary how much power flowed through him with the simple rune to his heart.

"H…How did you…?"

"There are many things I do not know. This ability is one of those things. I know not of why this ability is open to me, but I am only experienced with two runes - healing and pain."

"Iratze and Agony?"

"Agony," he nodded. "That was the title."

"Where did you learn them? And of this ability?"

"Once, my father sent me to slay a Shadowhunter - someone he had a grudge against, I surmise. However, whether or not I succeeded matter little to him. I was captured, to his delight, and imprisoned within a city of bones. There, I was witness to a Shadowhunter being interrogated for Valentine's whereabouts. A small rune was placed upon his wrist - one that caused his great pain, caused him to scream out each time it was activated. I had never known runes could perform such a task - I had assumed prematurely that your runes could bring you only blessings."

"Well, the Agony rune is the only one I know of that breaks that pattern - off the top of my head. How did you figure out that you could use a stele for runes?"

Fae shrugged. "Curiosity gripped me on one occasion. I was to interrogate a Shadowhunter for information, and took the stele he had to draw the Agony rune. To my surprise, it glowed and the markings were seared across his skin. It took a simple mental command in order to activate and deactivate it at will. After that, I learned your healing rune from simply observing Shadowhunters I came across - wanting to have both reward and punishment for future use. No other knows of my ability beyond Gwyn, who takes such things into account when he sends me on missions."

Hunter smiled sadly. "You will never cease to amaze me with your endless talents."

Fae chuckled. "Far from endless. However, I have no explanation for my power over the stele. Gwyn surmised I was blessed by the gods. I find it a hard idea to accept. All my life I have felt nothing but cursed. Perhaps I am a god myself. I've no evidence beyond words."

"Things have gotten better for you, right? The Hunt's not as bad as the Court with your father, you met a warlock to teach you all about the outside world, and then he introduced you to the rest of us. You met me. You saved me."

Fae smiled and pulled Hunter into a soft kiss. There wasn't any heat to it, just pure love that made Hunter melt.

Hunter felt Fae's thin yet defined body, malnourished from life in the Hunt but still strong with a warrior's frame. Hunter was a little more muscular - after all, Shadowhunters were taught only to eat, sleep, and train - but he still felt embarrassed compared to Fae. His skin was covered in scars and blemishes, uneven patches of tan, some pink parts of his skin that he wasn't sure if that was normal or not but now he couldn't stop thinking about it, not to mention the mild case of acne he had in his teenage years, his hair growing in places  _other_  than his head, and his freckles. Sadly, there weren't runes to prevent the side effects of puberty. Meanwhile, Fae had completely perfect skin - it was smooth and fine-grained like silk - and his angular bones gave him a graceful frame. Hunter felt extremely self-conscious now that he wasn't being distracted.

"Stop thinking," Fae ordered.

"Huh?"

Fae chuckled. "You're thinking again. You get that lost look in your eyes, your nose crinkles, you get that adorable scowl that makes me want to tickle you to see if you can still laugh."

"What? That's oddly specific."

He shrugged. "Faeries are specific. And you are relatively easy to surmise."

Hunter frowned. "I take offense to that."

"I beg your pardon, but it remains truth. And I know you were using your verbal irony because you have a specific… _pouting_  face, as Lock would put it, used when you're only mildly annoyed and secretly enjoy what I said."

"I don't have one of those pouty faces…do I?"

Fae laughed. "I cannot say anything different for I cannot lie."

Hunter shoved him. "You're a dork on the inside, aren't you?"

"I know not what a 'dork' is, but it is only you that makes me this way. When I am like this, with you, alone and able to be intimate, I act as I should not. If another stood witness to us, I would be punished severely. Any excuse to condemn the Prince of the Unseelie Court would be cause to celebrate. My father would take both me and Kieran away to the Court once more. Gwyn is fond of us, but he will have limited power in this situation. My father would take the opportunity to torture us for information on Nephilim, and I would give him anything to spare Kieran. He would not spare Kieran, however. He is smart, even smarter than I. Kieran would suffer no matter what. Then, we would no doubt be executed once he grew tiresome of us. My father, the Lord of Shadows, the Unseelie King…we'd best not challenge him, and I hope you never meet his wrath."

Hunter was staring now, not with dread, but more with surprise.

"Have I spoken wrong?"

Hunter didn't respond.

"My Hunter, what ails you?"

Hunter blinked. "Y-You're a prince…"

"Have I not spoken of such things before?"

"N-No, I…by the angel, I…I just slept with a prince…"

Fae sighed. "This is why I didn't wish to disclose such information. Albeit, your reaction was just how I predicted - though you said 'slept with' rather than 'kissed.'"

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I wished not for you to treat me differently. I request that the others must not be allowed to know. Lock has been informed, however he has sworn secrecy. In the Hunt, my status means very little. If anything, it only causes the others to believe I am a spoiled child that cannot hold my own. It has taken time for me to build up my credibility, but I do not fancy the idea of any of you acting as though my title makes me different. This furtive relationship between us hold great risk, but I continue because you treat me no differently than an acquaintance of equal status."

"Is that why you went to the Hunt? To escape your father and your status?"

"Partially. My little brother was popular and loved in the Court, and so my half-brothers and father seemed to take that adoration as a threat. He was subsequently thrown to the Wild Hunt when the opportunity arose. I promised our mother that I would protect Kieran, and I have all this time. When I requested to be taken to the Hunt as well, my father had no qualms. Even in the Court I was the harshest brother to Kieran, but in turn, he was strong enough to deal with the other members of the Hunt that shamed the two of us, enjoying the fact that they had two princes to torment. We made no effort to befriend anyone, but as I rose in power trying to earn respect, many seem to act as though I am their friend. Most leave Kieran alone now, because they know I wouldn't hesitate to slaughter anyone who dares to touch him. I took a blood oath to defend my brother, to choose him above all else, and so I would be more than justified."

"You're very loyal to your family."

"To my brother and my late mother, yes. There are few brothers I can tolerate, but there are indeed some that exist. But I shall love Kieran above all else, and I would give anything to see his protection - even if it means sacrificing my happiness or our relationship."

"You'd give your life for him."

"Yes."

Hunter let his head fall lazily, almost as though he was musing about something. "It must be hard. Loving only one thing in the world and being willing to do so much. Shadowhunters live lives of fear, every day is a fight for survival and there's never a guarantee you'll see the next dawn. Yet for you faeries, it must be so much worse. You could not only be slayed by an enemy or a random monster, but you could be destroyed by your own people. At most, Shadowhunters tend to de-rune misbehaviors, keep them alive in the City of Bones perhaps. They are cruel, but they attempt to avoid executions."

"Sometimes living can hold worse pain than death, and faeries do take that into account. It is a grueling process. I am afraid to show emotion, care, and I wonder if every action I take could be used against me. I show bravery, even cruelty, in the face of my fears. I should show no emotion even to you and the others. But Lock was an ally of mine long before I had gone to the Hunt, and when I brought you to him, after I found you alone and broken that day, I suppose you stirred something within me I thought was buried long ago."

"And what would that be?"

Fae shrugged. "Hope. I live life for reasons I cannot understand. I live for my brother, despite the fact that his life is full of misery as well. To live as I do, it can become a great burden at times. I have learned skills beyond the normal faerie, gained power no one else can hope to obtain, and I have a stable life with Kieran. That was enough for me, I held onto my victories to march past the pain."

He swept his fingers across Hunter's jaw, caressing him gently as though afraid he would hurt him with just the single touch.

"And then I found you, my beautiful, talented, kind, fearful, shy, brave Shadowhunter."

"W…What did I do?" Hunter breathed.

"More than you realize. You showed me a side of life that I had never known before - a gentle and courageous boy who was afraid. You were hurt, yet hid for fear of hurting others, you were strong, but never demonstrated your strength. I had only ever known a world where you fought those who tormented you, where you grew to be more malicious than your oppressors if you wished to survive. You, my Hunter, were an enigma, a mystery I wished to solve, and when I did, I found jouissance I could never have imagined was possible."

"Jou-what?"

Fae laughed. "Everything you and I have shared."

"Oh."

Fae chuckled and leaned in to kiss Hunter.

"What was that about having to leave?" Hunter muttered.

"Oh. Merely that I fear if I do not leave soon, I might not gather the will to leave you. I've never wished to indulge myself in such a way as this before."

"I wish things were different, that we could spend all the time we desired together."

"If things were different and life was as you claim, perhaps there is a chance we would never have met. We would no longer wish for what we cannot have, we would grow tired of each other's presence. Once you are promised something, you begin to take it for granted. In the Hunt we are taught that there is no such thing as promises. Faerie itself is a land of uncertainty. If you and I had never learned such lessons, what people would we be?"

"Wishes are best left alone. Isn't that what you say?"

Fae nodded, but gently brushed a red curl out of Hunter's eyes. His hair was getting long. "And yet dreams are not the same as wishes."

"How so?"

"A wish is a hope that another shall bless you in your plight, gift you something for nothing. It is a desire for the impossible, a desire for a miracle that is unlikely to occur of your own actions. But a dream is a scenario that you can work for, a goal that you shall set for yourself, not simply to hope for, but to act for. It is something that you yourself can one day be. I know that you have wishes, but you should have dreams. You may be a brilliant musician, a Shadowhunter that makes a difference, an ally to Downworlders, and perhaps you could change the Cold Peace one day."

"That seems like all of that would be far too much for me. If you want everything, you'll end up with nothing."

"I understand that philosophy more than you seem to believe. I have no choice but to cling to what I have. But you are not like me. You are free to fight for what you believe in, to be who you want to be. Other Shadowhunters have done so as well, and I know that they would support you. You have a warlock, a vampire, and a werewolf able to fight by your side at a moment's notice."

"And there's you."

"I'm afraid I will be of little use to you in Shadowhunter affairs - no more useful than any other faerie. I would risk my brother should I be selfish, so I apologize, but I cannot promise I would come to your aid when you asked of me."

"I expected nothing less. You should choose your family above all else, after all."

Fae gave a sad frown. "Not if they stop you from being who you are."

Hunter sank under the sheets as though trying to hide. "They don't…I'm fine."

Fae lowered his gaze, but didn't say anything. He wouldn't apologize for speaking the truth that he knew Hunter was hiding. Hunter wasn't simply shamed for his singing abilities by just all Shadowhunters - it was his family, it was his father. Hunter had told him enough the first time they'd kissed: Hunter's father hated his music and was the main reason for Hunter's diffidence. He's had to grow up hiding his passion, and Fae could only imagine what the man would do if he figured out Hunter's affairs with Downworlders - let alone sleeping with a faerie.

"I know that my sister would do anything for me, and I'd do anything for my sister," Hunter said. "My parabatai would stand by me no matter what too. They  _don't_  hold me back."

Hunter almost sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than Fae. Did mornings like this always end in dark conversations? Dark…

"Might I show you a secret?"

Fae held his hand out and fire sparked to life on his palm. The flames danced across his fingers, but he was unharmed. He waved his hand, the fire following him and then moving to form shapes. Hunter watched intently, mesmerized by the blaze.

"Do you…I've never seen faeries use magic like that," Hunter admired.

"It is a skill that is very rare. If others possess such prowess, I have yet to encounter them. I cannot show this often."

"Why not?"

"Should one assume my blood can wield magic so easily, they will come to expect my brother to be capable as well."

Fae closed his fist and the flame blinked out.

"But he is not. They would only demean him further."

Hunter snuggled closer to Fae. "No more sad talk. It's too early for this."

Fae chuckled. "It is never too early for anything. You must always be prepared for action."

"For us non-fey, we don't like to get up before midday."

"I see many of your people awake long before then, however."

"Just because we don't  _want_  to be up before noon doesn't mean we're not expected to. That is why the universe invented coffee. Survey says it's the most abused drug in America."

"I am very confused by most of what you just said."

Hunter laughed. "Is it wrong to say that's what I love about you?"

"If you only love my forthright speech and my ignorance of human civilization, then it would most likely be considered quite conceited."

"Well, I love more than that, more than I can possibly put into words, but it's certainly a trait that makes you adorable."

"If such speech patterns are attractive, I find it odd that the Fair Folk are so feared."

"I guess it's just me, but I like the fact that you're different. And it helps that you're not hostile, too."

"That is always the key to a good relationship, I would assume so."

Hunter laughed and slipped his head in the crook of Fae's neck. "When do you think you have to leave?"

"As soon as I can, but certainly long before dusk would be recommended."

"I'll try as hard as I can to let you go, but it will not be an easy battle."

Fae chuckled. "I can tell your sincerity is lacking."

"Do you care?"

"No."

Fae leaned in to pull Hunter into a kiss, which seemed to have started as a simple warm kiss without too much heat, but Hunter began to kiss him harder and use his legs to pull Fae's body against his. Hunter could feel as Fae's restraint falter and knew he had won. If Fae was gonna leave, Hunter was going to make the best of this morning. He hated the fact that their time together wasn't guaranteed, and now that Hunter was attached, he didn't want to let Fae leave. Ever.

"Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!"

The two of them both panicked in their own way. Fae froze, trying to process what was happening and what he was supposed to do, while Hunter grabbed the nearest pillow and chucked it at the source of the voice with his Nephilim speed. There was an "Oof!" from the force he had put into the throw as their intruder lost their footing and fell out the door they had just tried to come through.

"Mer! It is too early in the morning for this! Don't barge into my room! I could be changing, you know!"

Fae slipped under the covers and pulled close to Hunter so that he was as hidden as he could get. Luckily he wasn't bulky, even if he was slightly taller than Hunter.

There was shuffling as Merida picked herself up off the floor where Hunter had knocked her down with a pillow. "First off, it's 11 in the morning, bro. And as your sister, it's my job to barge into your room at any time I want. You aren't changing  _now_ , are you?"

"I  _am_  in fact! I'll have you know that I am  _completely_   _naked!_  Now GET OUT!"

"Yeesh, TMI. Okay, okay, I'm gone. But get to the mission room ASAP. We've got a mission."

"It's Saturday!" Hunter complained.

"No rest for the wicked."

She closed the door and Hunter collapsed back on the bed with a heavy sigh. "Sorry. My sister's a pain at home. You'll get used to it."

Fae slipped out from under the duvet. "I know little of sisters, however I have a small few that my father has accepted. He hates daughters. It is common practice to kill first-born daughters in favor of having a first-born son - or at least an eldest son - in Faerie. I, myself-"

Fae cut himself off.

"What?" Hunter asked.

Fae rolled over so that he wasn't facing Hunter.

"Fae?"

"My mother bore the king a first-born daughter. Even today I question why he allowed her to live. She devoted her life to proving her worth to him, but she was never enough - she would always be a woman in his eyes, and a woman was weak. She managed just about twenty years…"

"Managed…?" Hunter asked carefully.

"She's gone now."

Hunter was silent. There was a long period of quiet, before Hunter gently put his hand on Fae's shoulder. He tensed at the touch, but relaxed a moment later. Hunter scooted down and wrapped Fae in a hug. He was relieved when he felt Fae lean into the embrace.

"I'm sorry."

"You hold no fault. Even  _I_  was not enough for my father, as a man, and my brother has our cursed blood as well, it seems. The Unseelie King has only subjects and enemies."

"And his children?"

"His children are his enemies. I am not the only one who has considered usurping the throne at one point or another."

"Why haven't you?"

"My brother. As for my half-brothers, I believe they are simply too lazy or too afraid of what will come should my father fall. To rule his kingdom anew is not an easy feat. It is his age and experience upon the throne that allows him to be feared. Although many are not fond of him, he is still a leader with stability. Were he to fall, the power vacuum that would remain would likely spark war between my brothers for who is more deserving of the throne. In truth, the king has been in power so long that I am unsure whether he can perish at all. His strength feels beyond measure."

"I hear faeries only get more powerful with age. While we humans just say that we get  _wiser_  with age."

"I have near a half a century of acquired power, so I suppose I would not know. My little brother is twenty some years my junior, and though I have worked to prepare him for the world, I fear he is still quite naïve. His social skills are lacking, but that's an expected result of the ostracization of being a prince in Faerieland."

Hunter blinked, realizing that he was currently dating a 50-year-old. Like, it wasn't completely inconceivable like Lock or Pyre being hundreds of years old, but it was over twice Hunter's actual age. Fae still looked like he was in his twenties, and Hunter got slightly jealous that Pyre, Lock,  _and_  Fae weren't ever going to age. He shook away the thoughts of Fae outliving him. That was a topic for later - hopefully never, though that was impossible.

"Well, your social skills are pretty good for my taste."

Fae chuckled and put his hand on Hunter's, wrapped around his waist. "I should depart, and you should go to your meeting of sap."

Hunter blinked in confusion before laughing. "ASAP just means 'As soon as possible,' Fae."

"It must be imperative for her to ask for you using such a code."

Hunter kissed Fae's neck. "We humans are weird like that."

Hunter dragged himself off of Fae through sheer force of will and went to his closet to grab some clothes. Fae, meanwhile, picked up his discarded clothes from before (wait, how the hell did he manage to throw them all in a neat pile at the edge of the room while they were kissing each other like their lives depended on it last night?! It was convenient in the sense that Merida hadn't seen the extra clothes that definitely didn't belong to Hunter, but still!)

Once the two of them were dressed, Fae went to the window beside Hunter's bed and tried to pull it open. Unfortunately, it was locked, and so Hunter feared that he had broken something in the big jolt of strength that he had used.

"Whoa, whoa, you just have to turn this lever here and it unlocks. See?"

"Oh, my apologizes, Hunter. I assumed it was merely rusted from disuse."

Hunter slid the window open and closed. "It's undamaged. But where are you going? I can just open the portal to the tunnels for you, if you need it."

"I wish to leave upon my steed. He will learn of this location so that I may visit when I please. I am unsure of your opinion on the matter, but my unease augments each time we meet with the other's able to sense our presence together. Lock has been my ally for some two decades, however I know that his reaction to our affair would bring disaster."

"I know that he'd tell the others, definitely. I think that's a great idea. But I can't promise you won't learn my real name and who I really am. We won't be strangers anymore."

Fae grabbed Hunter by his shirt and pulled him into a kiss, satisfied when he pulled back to Hunter's breathless face. "I believe we have moved past being strangers, no? Unless this is merely a relationship of physical desire, however, in which case, I shall take what I can get and leave you be when it pleases you."

"Don't say that. You should know that this isn't simply a fling. Look, I'm an amateur when it comes to relationships - you're my first experience with love, period. I'm unversed in the ways of knowing if love is true or not, what kind of love there is, and how to deal with my feelings. If I'm misunderstanding this…this  _thing_  between us, then tell me now. But I think this is love I feel for you. We should probably wait a little long before drawing definite conclusions, but…I know that right now, I love you for your heart and soul, not just your physical self. Although that's kinda a bonus too."

Fae smiled. "I shall take that promise seriously. I ask only that if you are to change your mind that I am informed. And should you choose another lover, I will consent as long as-"

"Whoa, wait a minute. Humans can be weird and have lovers of the heart and physical relationships on the side, but not the majority, and not  _this_  human!"

Fae laughed. "I take relief in that and shall hold you to the statement as well. Farewell, my Hunter."

He hopped down from the small roof outside of Hunter's window. With a whistle, his horse appeared in a flash of lightning, zoomed past and caught Fae on its back, and then zapped away once more, leaving no trace. Hunter smiled, wanting to enjoy the feeling of ecstasy now that he and Fae were official, but he knew he had to get a hold of himself before his mission.

No rest for the wicked, indeed.

- ** _TFOT_** -

"You smell of Shadowhunter," Kieran smirked.

"You smell of  _half_ -Shadowhunter," Fionn bit back calmly without hesitation.

"Touché."

"We speak nothing of my affair nor your liaison?"

"I concur. Cleanse yourself, brother, else revealed secrets in the form of  _words_  will not be the threat you face. Any faerie with a functional nose shall identify your odor."

"You as well, Kieran. And the Blackthorn boy."

"There is a spring you may use, for your levels of heat are intolerable to me and Mark as well."

Fionn took his brother's offer and went to the spring to bathe. Of course, he heated the water far beyond normal levels. It was entirely possible to cook food properly within, but Fionn happily sank into the burning liquid with ease. Fionn hated water, being a fire-based faerie as it were (which was an oddity considering his origins), but he still required water to live and clean himself. As such, he required boiling levels of heat to satisfy his needs.

He sighed and simply relaxed in the spring. It was extremely comforting, but it still paled in comparison to having Hunter by his side. He wished he could have more nights resembling his last, perhaps he would. After all of the tension that he'd built up from recent events, things had turned out better than he had anticipated. He still needed to make up with Selina and learn to cope with her personality. If Hunter could do it, so could Fae. Maybe.

But that was for later. For now, he would enjoy this reprieve for as long as he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title, "Who Knew?" by P!nk


	17. I'd Rather Hurt Than Feel Nothing At All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? You mean chapters aren't supposed to be 10,000 words on average?
> 
> Yeaaaaah.
> 
> I just tend to type what's on my mind when I wrote this entire story. When I look back, it is SO cringy, but you know, whatever.
> 
> QUEEN OF AIR AND DARKNESS FINALLY CAME OUT!
> 
> I don't get the book until Christmas *sob* since I know that someone else is getting it for me, but we'll be connecting to the Dark Artifices soon enough near the end of this story and definitely during the sequel (oh yeah, there's a sequel).
> 
> Repetitive cuteness. I had all the important moments that I wanted planned out in my head, and then they kinda just build beyond my control. Whoops?
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> :)

Hunter and Selina arrived at the meeting grounds, Selina taking a deep breath. "I need tips on how to talk to Fae."

"Hm?" Wolf hummed in surprise. "Well, never talk to him unless there's a specific reason for doing so. Faeries take all conversations seriously and void ones that don't. That's what they don't really like about us humans - we get into the habit of talking about stupid and unimportant things in an effort to avoid awkward silence. Every conversation for a faerie has to be important."

"Usually, the rest of us just have to have our own conversations and wait for a topic that'll include Fae, or Fae will pipe up himself," Pyre continued. "If you wanna talk with him, you can't be too eager. You have to find something he'd be genuinely interested in or concerned about. Otherwise, you keep him out of it unless he volunteers. Wolf and I start most of the conversations, but we do it with each other so Fae doesn't really have to care. Sometimes Lock's in there too. Hunter was quiet back when we first met him, so we basically used the same technique on him - keep the conversation to yourself unless you find a good reason to bring him in. That's basically a summary of our relationship right there."

"We're a group of outsiders who understand being outsiders," Lock said simply. "That's all there is to it. We don't pretend that we're okay, because we're not. We don't act like we're normal, because what good would that do? Pyre and Wolf bicker, but it's kinda a relief at times. They find stuff to talk about even when there's nothing really to say. Helps us find things we can agree on or share our opinions about. We're all bound by one thing: loneliness. I'm afraid of petrifying. One day, all the humans and werewolves and Shadowhunters I know will age and die. I've seen it before, I've seen it too many times and I'd say my life has barely begun."

"You're 300 years old," Hunter protested.

"I know, barely anything, am I right? Look, I cling to my friends and family, immortal or mortal, try and act like I've got everything under control, because maybe if I believe it, work hard enough…maybe, somehow, I can make it true. In this place, there are no façades allowed. We're scared and we all know it. This is a world where we take things seriously. If you want to be a part of it, you have to know that it won't always be laughter and fun. We aren't here to party, we're here because we need people who understand what it's like."

Selina sat down against the wall. "Well…my parents have never really paid much attention to me all my life. I guess I've just gotten tired of it. I lived my life thinking if I be loud enough, maybe then I'll be noticed by  _someone_. And if I'm too quiet, then I'll be forgotten. I panic when people don't pay attention to me, because maybe that means that I'm not doing it right, that people don't like me. I've only really interacted with mundanes and the occasional Shadowhunter."

"So you based your personality off of mundanes?" Lock clarified. "Oh, honey, that's just tragic. I've learned that the mask you have to put on for mundanes is terrible. When dealing with customers as a High Warlock, you need to learn to conform to all personality types and know how to play yourself off as swinging either way if you don't know how  _they_  swing - serious or not so. You need to learn to read people and know what's best. For example, sometimes being sarcastic and witty is the smartest move when dealing with a serious customer, but others you need to take things just as seriously as them or you lose their respect. And you need to learn to change on a dime if you ever get your assumptions wrong. You need lessons, my friend. I should take you to my club. Yes, that would be a perfect way to train you."

"Why, Lock, are you asking me on a  _date?_ " Selina teased.

"And I can get some of my friends to test you," he continued, not hearing her. "I know just the people! Did you say something?"

There was a collective sigh from Hunter, Pyre, and Wolf.

"He's always like this when you give him ideas," Wolf informed her.

"Maybe Lock  _needs_  a girlfriend to ground his scaled ass," Pyre remarked.

"Are we talking about me?" Lock asked. "Who are you calling an ass, Pyre?"

She shook her head in exasperation, which got laughter from Selina. "I'd love to take you up on your offer."

"Wonderful. I can take you any time you want. The club is active from dusk until dawn. The moment you see orange in the sky, we open."

"You really have a one-track mind," Hunter muttered.

- _ **TFOT**_ -

When Fae arrived at the meeting grounds, he heard laughter and the distinct voice of Selina that Fae had drilled into his head and got small migraines from. What was she so happy about now? Fae sighed and took a few deep breaths. This was for Hunter. He needed to get himself under control.

"Yeah, but it's not like we  _knew_  that it was just a mundane prank," Selina was saying.

"You're saying you seriously believed that kid was lost even when he led you around the entire store looking for 'his parents?'" Wolf asked.

"His friend couldn't get a hand on our valuables. He led us to every place in that mall and I caught our stalker, like, five times trying to steal our stuff."

"And then Merida came in and wanted to help too, but at that point I could tell the kid was getting nervous," Hunter continued. "So she announced she'd go to the customer service woman and have them make an announcement, and finally the kid gave up and pointed out the guy that was apparently his partner in crime. He just bluntly stated 'He was gonna steal your wallets while you were helping me.' Merida didn't seem surprised, but Selina and I were like, 'We don't have wallets.'"

"Turns out what they  _thought_  were wallets with money was really our Shadowhunter equipment. When the guy shouted 'Someone stole my stuff!' and we checked our pockets to see if our weapons, steles, and witchlights were all still with us, he thought we were checking for our valuables like cash and credit cards that he could steal."

"Ah, that's a common technique for thieves," Lock nodded. "They get you to point out exactly where you're keeping your stuff. Not to mention using the kid to distract you. But you're Shadowhunters, so you wouldn't be fooled like the common folk."

"I hope you smacked the guy around a bit," Pyre sneered.

Hunter shrugged. "We didn't really care much, but Merida told the kid to make better choices in life. She gave him a whole lecture like a mom."

"Where  _is_  your sister today, Hunt?" Wolf asked.

"She's at the Shadowhunter Academy. She's working her missions and school all at the same time. I think she's applying for the Scholomance. Not because she's a faerie-hater or anything, but because she wants to make sure the law against the Fair Folk is executed properly. Only bad faeries should be punished, and all of them should be given a chance to explain themselves. And Shadowhunters need to be better, be the ones to show mercy to those who deserve it. Being a strong fighter doesn't mean you crush everything in your path without thinking. She wants to prove that to others in the Scholomance and Downworlders. She's a great scholar and a strong fighter with good morals. I have no doubt she's gonna go far."

"You speak like she is some child you have raised," Fae said, walking into view and drawing everyone's attention.

Hunter stared for a moment, remembering what had happened the last time they'd met, before shoving down the heat rising to his cheeks and clearing his throat. "Yeah, well…when our mom died it felt like the world was falling apart for us. I'm technically younger than her by a few minutes, but we're twins. I felt responsible for her, to keep her safe. There were rumors going around about how our mother had left us, that what happened had been her own fault and we shouldn't bother avenging her. The Head of our Institute told us that it was an accident, that she had gone to the wrong place at the wrong time and was targeted for being a Shadowhunter. But what actually happened was she abandoned us. She went to go live with Downworlders that she trusted, divorcing our dad, abstaining from runes, and then leaving her children with barely anything to remember her by but memories, a couple pictures, a necklace, and a guitar."

" _You're_  guitar?" Lock asked.

"No. My dad broke her guitar when he found out I was pursuing music. Mine is a new guitar we raised the money for. We got the same model and it looked similar, but it wasn't  _hers_. So, when Merida learned the truth about Mom, she grew up a bit Downworlder-phobic. When I first told her about you guys, I thought she'd be happy that I'd made friends, but she told me that I was being tricked, that I should bring her to you so she could 'make sure,' but I knew she'd slaughter you all. We had a big fight and it took a lot to convince her that I was happy with you guys. So, I told her how we met, how you saved me. She never asked to meet you again. In fact, she was rather helpful and supportive."

"It's why he never told me about you," Selina explained. "He worried I'd be the same way. I…I guess I  _did_ mess up the first chance I got because I didn't understand how things worked around here." She stood and walked over to Fae with her head down. "I'm sorry. I'm not very good at making friends, and I'm always afraid that people will hate me, so I overcompensate. I'll learn to show my true feelings and stop putting on a front. Or, at least, I'll learn to be better at interacting and knowing when I'm bothering people. Lock offered to teach me with his years of wisdom and High Warlock-ing."

Fae blinked and bowed his head. "Your apology has been accepted, lady of the moon. To admit one's mistakes is a true act of courage. To accept aid and right your errors requires bravery of the rarest kind."

She smiled with a small giggle. Fae was confident he hadn't put any humor into his words this time. "Thanks."

Hunter rolled his eyes. "And…we're back."

* * *

There was something wrong with Hunter's tongue.

"It's  _tingling_ , Lock, that isn't normal, right?!"

Lock sighed. "Show me again."

Hunter stuck his tongue out and Lock waved his magic over it. "Look, I'm not a doctor, Hunt, but if there  _is_ anything wrong with it, I can't tell what it is. What does it feel like?"

"Like it's  _tingling_. Like I have something on the tip of my tongue that I need to say but I don't know what it is and it's bugging the hell out of me!"

"Maybe a curse? Maybe you put something in your mouth that you weren't supposed to? A normal Shadowhunter thing?"

" _Normal?_  Lock, this isn't just Shadowhunter puberty, this is  _serious_."

"Look, Hunt. These sound like symptoms of a faerie curse - nothing too big, maybe you're stuck speaking in rhymes, maybe you can't say something specific. It sounds like the curse hasn't activated yet, certain conditions must be met."

" _What_  certain conditions?"!"

"I don't know! Just…try going about your life and try and figure out what you do in your routine that's bound to happen every day. If this is a condition-based curse, it means there's something you're bound to do to activate it, something that's observably in your routine."

Hunter sighed. "That's reassuring. What do I do when I find out what the curse is, what I've done to activate it? I mean, what if I can't contact you for help?"

"I've set up a spell so that I'm alert when this curse activates. I know my faerie magic, trust me."

"Gee, thanks."

- ** _TFOT_** -

Finn stared at the screens at the Institute, looking at the city for any threats and nearly falling asleep with boredom. It was so quiet without Merida. He mustered the energy to wave his stele over his right upper arm and activate his stamina rune.

Selina was doing a terrible job of filling the silence, and giving Finn even more of a headache than he already had.

"What do you think would make a good gift? Faeries are so different. What if I accidentally break some faerie customs when I'm trying to get him a present?"

"Getting him a present at  _all_  would be putting his life at risk. Anything that smells like it is even related to a Shadowhunter will be found in the Hunt, he'll probably get his head chopped off, and…stuff."

She poked his head. "You either need sleep or entertainment. Go see your friends. I'll cover for you. Don't need me barging in, and I can handle tonight's shift."

"One problem. I don't wanna get up."

Selina tipped over Finn's chair and dumped him on the floor. Finn groaned in annoyance and picked himself up. "I hate you."

"Love you too, parabatai," she smiled.

- _ **TFOT**_ -

Hunter smacked his lips in irritation.

His tongue still hurt and he hadn't gotten any sleep the last night - and if he did, he didn't remember any of it. This feeling wasn't enough to be anything too dangerous and it really  _shouldn't_  have been annoying enough to keep him awake at night, but he couldn't help it. He had to resort to using a rune to fall asleep, and even then, he only gave in to the idea at 3 in the morning when he was woken at 4 for a mission. He'd been working to get in any sleep he could, and the meeting grounds were quiet and warm thanks to Lock's spells to make the place comfortable, he was sitting on a pillow with a blanket since the main area was basically a cozy living room, and maybe he could just activate his sleeping rune for just a few moments…

"You seem ill, my Hunter. Is your coming here the best option to maintain your health?"

Hunter hadn't even noticed when Fae had come in. Hunter tried to sit up and leaned against the wall beside his tunnel. He tried to think of something to say, some snarky remark or joking remark or some excuse for his tired state that actually made sense, but he couldn't come up with anything.

Instead, he just muttered something with the intent of telling Fae he wanted to sleep next to him but the faerie tensed and he wondered if he'd said something wrong. What had he said again? He couldn't quite remember. Stupid stamina rune wearing off.

He used the last of his energy and grabbed his stele, hovering it over the rune on his arm and then blinking a a surge of adrenaline surged through him like caffeine. Right, not the time to be dozing.

"Okay, what were we talking about?" He asked, trying to regain his composure.

He now noticed that Fae was staring at him weirdly. Almost as though…he was afraid. He looked like a child about to be told his punishment for cheating on a test.

"Fae? Come'ere, what's wrong?"

The faerie suddenly stepped forward with a small grunt of surprise, as though he was surprised that his body was reacting - as though he wasn't in control of himself. He stumbled as he approached, falling to one knee as though gravity had suddenly increased, his head down.

"Fae?" Hunter asked carefully. "Fae? What's happening? Tell me, please."

"You know my name," Fae said in a surprised tone. "I bequeathed you with it, long ago."

"What? Fae, I'm  _sure_  that I don't know your name. Other than ' _Fae_ ,' of course."

"My  _true_  name," He clarified, sighing in realization. "Our first kiss. Do you recall?"

Hunter blinked and tried to think back. ' _He thought he heard the faerie say something, but even afterwards, when his mind was clearer, he couldn't recall what it was. His voice almost seemed to get lost in the air, warm and deep yet hazy, as though the sound was incapable of being heard and only the vibrations remained. For just a moment, if he concentrated hard enough, he thought he could remember the syllables that he'd heard, like translating a mnemonic device into what it stood for. He knew he could remember if he just_ …'

"That…by the angel, I nearly forgot about it because of Lock bursting in. He does that so often. It's annoyingly enduring. B-But that was…you mean to tell me that…you gave m-me,  _me_ , your…your name. L-Like your  _true_  name. Your  _true_  true name?"

Hunter stood and started pacing, Fae standing behind him, rigid and at attention, but Hunter easily saw the panic in his eyes. He wasn't doing anything on his own.

"O-Okay, how do I turn it off? What did I even do to turn it  _on?!_  I-I don't remember even saying anything. Did I say your name? Am I supposed to remember what your name is? I mean I get this is serious business for faeries and stuff, but I have no idea about this stuff!"

"Invoke my name, as my lord and master. I shall follow every command to the best of my ability and inform you when I am incapable or impaired in the given task. You may release me at any time, but so long as you hold the key to my name, I shall be your subordinate."

"Your name? So that weird word on the tip of my tongue, a word I can't remember but one that I  _know_."

He nodded. "True names work as such. You can invoke my name without concern of revealing it away to another unintentionally. I am the only who holds claim over my true name until I entrust it with one dear to my heart. Only you or I may pass my true name on at present. I…had not intended to relinquish my name to you that night. I was unaware I had, the thought escaped my mind."

"I-I'm sorry. Just…stop it. Turn it off, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. How do I turn it off?"

Hunter closed his eyes and concentrated on that word that he  _knew_  he understood yet couldn't put his finger on. He simply let the word flow off his tongue, and Fae let out a deep breath, his muscles relaxing.

Hunter opened his eyes slowly. The tingling in his tongue was gone. It wasn't a curse, he realized. It was Fae's true name, his  _true_  name. Hunter explained how he'd been feeling this odd sensation on his tongue that had been disturbing him recently, and Fae listened intently.

"You were either to use my true name within a certain time frame or you would lose access to it," Fae explained. "This occurs only in the first usage of the ability, a kind of preliminary test to determine if you are worthy of retaining this power over I, if you desire it so."

"I don't want it," Hunter declared. "It's not fair to you, I…I don't want this kind of power."

"I entrusted this to you unintentionally. My heart deemed you worthy of this power, gave you trust beyond imagination. You will not misuse this power. Your response to this revelation proves such - you wish not to abuse this ability for my sake, but also because your intentions are pure, your soul kind and selfless."

"Look, I don't  _want_  it, Fae. Can't I give it back?"

"My true name reflects my entire being, yet every moment of my existence, I am constantly evolving, to the point that the true name you have come to possess may one day no longer reflect I as a person."

Hunter nodded. "Okay, so you mean that if I don't update your true name on a regular basis, I'll lose it entirely."

Fae blinked at the wording, but he assumed that what Hunter said was viable. "Should you wait a certain period of time, my true name shall begin to expire, just as you experienced previously. I assume you felt irritation beforehand, that is the cause of your pain when I arrived, no?"

Hunter nodded. "Yeah, I thought that I'd been cursed or something on one of my mission, tracking down that rogue faerie group and all." He panicked. "O-Or it could've just been a warlock, whatever, I wasn't jumping to conclusions." He cringed. "I - just… _someone_  could've cursed me at  _any_  time for  _any_  reason, I mean."

"My Hunter, calm yourself." Hunter nodded obediently like a child who'd just been caught doing wrong and was extremely guilty for it. Hunter was  _still_  adorably humble. "My name  _will_  expire, however the longer you refrain from invoking it to renew its qualities… _update_  it, as you may say, the more difficult it will become to utilize it. With enough time, it shall become impossible. However, as you have seen, it will be a very disturbing process, and you must avoid my presence at all costs. Within moments of our encounter, you revealed your knowledge of my name thanks to the augmented pain of withholding from its usage."

"So…we can't see each other… _and_  I'll be in pain?"

Fae nodded. "Debilitating pain." He took a moment to think. "It is comparable to…withdrawal drugs. Yin Fen, perhaps."

Hunter nodded slowly, taking deeper and deeper breaths. "So, like Yin Fen withdrawal, not to mention the fact that I'm going to be separated from you for…how long?"

Fae looked to the side in thought. "I've little experience with the matter, but I assume until you recover your wits."

"Wits?" Hunter asked meekly.

"A true name is a dangerous and powerful force. Rejecting it may drive you to the brink of insanity. Not many have lived to tell the tale."

Hunter looked white as a bone spirit. "S-So not just withdrawal…i-i-insanity?"

Fae blinked, realizing his error. "I…quite possibly. The results are not a guarantee."

His words didn't reassure Hunter. There were no words that  _could_ , beyond lies of course, which Fae couldn't produce even if he wanted to. "O-Oh."

"I did not intend to burden you wish such a curse," Fae apologized. "I cannot ask for forgiveness."

"O…Okay. So how often would I need to update your name for me to  _not_  go insane?"

"It has been many months since it was bestowed upon you, so I would predict the amount of time between then and when you first began to suffer the symptoms of disuse."

"So months on end. That's not too bad."

"The moral implications are yours to consider. Keep my name and make me a slave at your beck and call, or risk near death when trying to be rid of it."

Hunter sighed. "There  _has_  to be some kind of middle ground that  _doesn't_  make me risk my life or completely control yours."

"I will search for answers in Faerie, but I assume many answers shall revolve around your death. We faeries are very…"

"Straightforward?"

"In essence, yes."

Hunter took a deep breath. "While I have it, until you find some safe alternative, I won't abuse it. No one will know that I have it, either. I know there are plenty that would want to get their hands on a true name, or understand simply how they work in general. The Clave would be jumping for joy if they learned of a way to harness true names."

"They can only be given willingly by the owner of the true name and those they have entrusted it with. Even then, certain faeries have a hold over their true names and know how to limit even those who possess theirs."

"Yeah, but a little blackmail goes a long way. You should know, it just takes the right hostage or information or whatever and someone would easily hand over their own life for the sake of something else."

"It would have to be an immense stain on their honor to risk their pride. But your concern remains viable."

"So…for now, I should just keep my hope and renew your name to avoid going through the withdrawal? I-I don't wanna sound conceited, holding the key to everything you are, but…"

Fae nodded. "I entrusted you with this for a reason, my every being trusts you and your judgement. Your heart is strong enough for this, and I know you will not abuse this gift. This is a sign of my trust in you - I would give you my everything, and now I have."

Hunter felt like he was going to implode. "You…by every angel in existence, I love you."

He pulled Fae into a kiss that he felt the faerie relaxing into. His chest was filled with warmth, a sense of euphoria, as though something had changed between the two of them. Suddenly they were connected in a new way, bearing their hearts and souls to each other. If they ever had the chance to turn back and pretend that they had never happened, pretend as though they were who they were supposed to be - a Shadowhunter who questioned nothing and followed the rules and a faerie of the Wild Hunter, a Prince and loyal brother who stayed in line as one of his kind - they were beyond that point now. There was no turning back, and neither of them would ever want to.

"Now be my pillow," Hunter ordered. "I haven't gotten any sleep thanks to this true name thing, and I'll take any excuse to cuddle."

Fae chuckled. "Here?"

Hunter shrugged. "Don't care. As long as it's comfy."

"To your quarters, then. I have a free night."

Hunter smiled. "Good."

* * *

Lock looked at the group of Downworlders and Hunter in the meeting grounds.

Hunter and Fae were sitting oddly close.

Pyre and Wolf were getting along.

Lock felt so alone.

"So, we going?"

Lock blinked and looked up at Selina, who was standing beside him with her party outfit on - which, for a Shadowhunter, was predictably black. She had loose combat jeans, tight but mobile boots, a leather jacket with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows, and a silver shirt. Her hair was braided in a fishtail that hung at her shoulder, and she had fingerless gloves that would help her wield her bow - the ring finger and pinky finger exposed on her left hand but the rest of her hand protected by the glove. Her bow was glamoured, hanging across her back, with a myriad of knives hidden in her clothing.

Was Lock staring? No, he wasn't. Obviously.

"Yes, right," he said blankly.

She sighed. "Are you even paying attention?"

"Yes!" he protested indignantly.

She crossed her arms in challenge. "Then where are we going?"

"We are…going to my club so we can work on your social skills." Yup, nailed it. "So, are you ready?"

She nodded. "Ready, spaghetti."

He opened the portal and guided her through to the party. She had apparently been here before on some missions, and Lock said that Shadowhunters came on missions all the time. He just had the rule that he couldn't be held liable for any fights that occur or else they were thrown out, Downworlder, Shadowhunter, mundane, or otherwise.

Lock observed Selina in her interactions, before taking her hand. "Look, you're coming off as great for pure party-goers, but people like to know that you're human. First off, try to find simple and very small issues. Don't go looking for some big topic to debate about and jump into, like politics.  _Never_  talk about politics. Politics will be the end of you, they're like demon deals, don't do them. Talk about how a friend dragged you there and then abandoned you, give people something to sympathize with, and if they don't respond well, don't be disappointed and press the matter."

Throughout the night, the two of them worked on how Selina should be more conservative with her speech, how she should read people's reactions and play off any scenario.

"You're getting better."

She sighed at her table with Lock. "Social interactions are so much more complicated than I imagined. I thought I understood enough, but in reality the world can't be defined by universal laws."

"True that. You live long enough and you start to learn how nothing's black and white and the world is constantly changing."

"Yeah. At one point, you stop trying to keep up with the world and shut it out, but you begin to realize how much you're missing out on. In the end, though it sucks sometimes, it's nice to be a part of the action rather than cut yourself off from everything. Emotions hurt, the world is messed up, but it's fun to live in anyway."

Lock was surprised with her almost first-hand experience with immortality. She was a Shadowhunter, right? Yeah, he hadn't remembered that wrong.

"Lock, can I tell you something? A secret you can't tell anyone else. Not until the time is right."

Lock blinked. "Uh…yeah. Yeah, I'm a good secret-keeper. Do it all the time. You can trust me."

"My name is Seline, Astral of the Moon. I'm an immortal goddess, reborn in the form of a Shadowhunter so that I might protect someone."

Lock stared at Selina in confusion. "Um…what…?"

She seemed to relax as though she had released a big weight off her shoulders. "I've lived my life as an immortal, skimming the line between caring for humanity and my peers or being alone and closed off from the world. I was filled with hatred at life, what being able to feel emotions made me into, and so I was determined to abhor love that I made it my goal to ruin my ex's love life. I spread rumors, told his lovers his secrets, enchanted some, cursed others. But then, I met this Shadowhunter that he'd fallen in love with, and when I tried to dissuade him from loving my ex, he just smiled at me. He told me that I was hurting for a reason that I couldn't understand and that scared me. He said that I shouldn't let this one thing define my life, a life of hatred and confusion, and fear. I didn't know what I wanted in life, so I made a goal for myself because a vendetta was the only thing that I could possibly understand. He understood me better than I understood myself, changed my entire perspective, all with just a few minutes of meeting me."

Lock smiled. "Sounds like a Shadowhunter I know."

Selina gave a small smile. "Yeah, Finnegan hasn't changed. But…back then, I let him stay with my ex. He was the only one to accept the flaws I revealed, to turn my opinion around and say that if something so simple were to make him give up on the one he loves, then he shouldn't have been with them in the first place. I let him go. And he ended up dying."

Lock twisted a glass cup in his hand. "Can  _I_  tell  _you_  something now?"

She nodded. "Sure. Nothing leaves this table."

"I met Hunter long before Fae first brought him to me, back in another lifetime. Well, not  _that_  long ago; less than a century. He came to me with his parents the first time, and they demanded I take his voice away, making him forget all about the music that he loved. I did what they asked, but then, one day, the kid ran away. He begged me to help him, because somehow he knew that I would, that I was a good soul despite what I agreed to do to him. I'd never seen a heart so big, a Shadowhunter willing to forgive a warlock who took everything he loved away from him and see that he was a good person just from a look. In the end, I knew I would get in trouble, but I gave him his voice back, gave his musical talents, and then I told him to run. Run to wherever he thought was safe. Now that I look back, maybe I should've kept him at my place, tried to find him a home myself, but then again, those times were a lot different than now. I would've instantly been a suspect, and I  _was_ , but I never gave away where he was. He got taken in by someone back then, sent me a fire message that he was all right, and I didn't see him for a while. He basically disappeared off the face of the planet. Then, he showed up one day, saying that he was going to fight a very big battle and that he might not make it back. I gave him all the help I could, said that it wouldn't be the end, but he didn't come back from that fight."

Selina nodded. "That was him; the Shadowhunter who changed me. I tried to tell him that all their relationship would bring was death, but…they went off to the fight believing that having each other would be enough. It sounds like a romantic story until you learn that they both died in the end."

"Died together. And it was their choice. Everyone dies, Selina, and no one - in this life especially - dies old."

"And now they're back, together again."

"I recognized Hunter when his glamour fell. He couldn't sustain it perpetually when he was first staying at my place, so I learned who he was and promised not to let anyone know that he had a true face. I recognized him though, the same face as that boy I helped so many years ago."

He paused.

"Wait, does that mean  _Fae_  is the reincarnation of your ex?"

Selina nodded. "His real name is Phoenix, the Astral of fire and rebirth."

"Well,  _that_  makes sense. How long have you known about them?"

"Ever since I was born. I never lost my memories when I reincarnated. Sure, it happens often because Astrals want to start life over sometimes, but they eventually get their celestial memories back. Usually, it's when they reach their twenties or so. The one you call Fae is nearly 50 years old now and he still doesn't remember. Hunter reaches the age of twenty very soon. The question remains about why Phoenix doesn't remember anything yet and why Hunter was even reborn in the first place. I knew one thing when I realized that he was being reborn - I knew that I was going to protect him from Phoenix."

"So that's why you pissed off Fae?"

"Partially. Another reason is simply because I don't have much skill in human interaction. That part wasn't a lie."

Lock laughed. "Of all the things."

"I'm a goddess of the moon. I don't come down to Earth often."

"If you define the calendar, you'll never need another date."

She blinked. "Hm?"

Lock waved it off. "Just something I found online. So many goddesses from all different religions that either went to the moon or were goddesses of the moon or were goddesses that just happened to live on the moon to look down upon the world or something - all of them seem to reject the idea of love in some way."

"Love is a dumb concept, I've learned that the hard way. At the very least, it's not worth all the pain it brings you, and it never lasts."

"Don't be so cynical. Magnus found love, even as an immortal, and I'm not asexual."

She looked down at her glass. "I know what love is - it's my parabatai bond. It's the bond with the boy who saved me from myself. And I can't let him be hurt by Phoenix again. It's only because he died with Phoenix that he was reborn, but something happened in the rebirth process that messed them both up."

"Selina…just don't do anything stupid. Those two are fine together."

"They're playing a very dangerous game. They  _will_  be found out one day, and then they will have to choose between everything else in their lives and each other."

"So that's reason to try and break them up?"

"More than enough for me. Last time they chose each other and they died together. My parabatai is one of a kind, and I can't let him be hurt. Not to mention the fact that he's…"

Lock leaned forward at her sudden silence. "He's what?"

"He's a Shadowhunter, son of a…well, a suspect of mine."

"Suspect?"

"Just an Astral thing. We have our enemies. If his father is who I think he is, then Hunter is in more trouble than any of us could imagine."

Lock sat up straight. "How can I help?"

"This isn't any of your business."

"You've made it my business now. Look, I've watched that kid for two generations, and I care about him, Fae, you, and everyone else. If I can make a difference, I'm gonna do it. Maybe things don't have to end badly this time, and maybe we can save them both."

"I'm an Astral, Zytaveon, one of unimaginable power. I can handle this alone."

"Well how long have you been trying?"

She didn't answer.

"Well there you have it. If you could do this all on your own, you would've done it already."

She sighed and leaned back in her seat. "I suspect that Finnegan's father is one of the deadly monsters to us Astrals. If he finds out what I am, I…I'm not sure if I'll make it out alive."

"Then let me help you. Come on,  _please_. I know you want to. I can see it on your face."

She crossed her arms, but she couldn't stop the smile from emerging. "Fine," she conceded. "This is how you can help."

* * *

Fae jumped off his horse and quietly landed on the roof of the Institute. The location had strong wards against Faerie magic, but Fae could nullify the effect with a little concentration. He still didn't understand his powers, but one way or another, he was definitely not a normal faerie. He could draw runes on Shadowhunters with a very strong effect, but he couldn't bear runes himself. He had tried once, resulting in the only burning sensation he had ever experienced in his life - being immune to heat an all. He still had a scar on his left forearm hidden under his bracer.

Beyond that, his abilities seemed to lie only in being more resilient to the angel's power. No wards would be able to track him if he kept his focus, and he wouldn't be rendered sick just from being within the premises. He couldn't walk through the front door without another Shadowhunter to let him in, but Hunter specifically left his window open for him. It was a dangerous thing, leaving his Institute vulnerable to attack, but they were working on a way to make a Fae-specific ward with Lock's help. The only problem was explaining why they needed his help without giving too much away.

Now, Lock slipped inside Hunter's room, silent as a trained Faerie. Hunter wasn't present. Fae had grown tired of seeing his sister Merida and his parabatai of the moon, wishing only for a single encounter with merely Hunter. It was late in the evening, the sun having set not long ago. Hunter should have been within his quarters.

Fae went to the door, listening careful for voices or even footsteps. He knew this was a dangerous plan, but he was fed up. He opened the door and slipped into the hallway, instantly taking in his surroundings and the possible hiding places. He closed the door behind him, mentally tracking his path in case he needed a quick retreat.

He went down the halls, searching for Hunter's scent. He knew the smell of Hunter better than anyone, and being a Faerie, it was as simple as sniffing the air like a hound before he knew which way to go. His room and the hall leading up to it were filled with the scent, but he was looking for the current location of the owner of the smell.

He made his way down the halls, finally picking out a scent that was definitely the original source. He made a couple guesses, sometimes going down the wrong hall that started leading him  _further_  from Hunter, and he hid from a couple late-night wanderers. It was exhilarating, this forbidden trip and game of stealth. Fae loved hunts, but he wasn't simply a savage thirsty for blood. He liked any mission, filled with the natural faerie pride that came from tricking others and accomplishing his goal by any means necessary.

Finally, Fae heard Hunter's voice, accompanied by the ringing of some instrument. Fae sped his pace in excitement, having to force himself to to hold back and search for any witnesses as he rushed to the door and slipped inside.

The first thing he noticed was a myriad of instruments across the room. There were strings, percussion, woodwinds, brass, but all of them looked different to the ones Fae knew of in Faerie. There was one guitar that slightly resembled Hunter's but the others looked much fancier and intimidating. The largest instrument by far, however, was a large black…thing that resembled a giant harp. A lid laid open, held by a simple wooden stick, that revealed the inside filled with strings and supports all around. Sitting at the other side of the instrument was Hunter, looking up with a stunned face at Fae.

" _Fae?!_  What are you doing here?! You shouldn't…how?!"

"I entered through your window and traversed the halls of your Institute with ease."

Fae moved to stand beside Hunter, sitting on a bench. Fae didn't dare touch anything on the large black harp, but now saw that there were numerous white teeth in front of Hunter, where his hands were placed, interrupted by a pattern of smaller black ones.

"What is this instrument you play?"

Hunter sighed. "Well, since you're here, I guess. This is a piano."

"Ah, so this is the aforementioned piano."

"Yes. Look inside the body of it over there." He pressed down on one of the white teeth and a small mallet in a line of many lowered to strike one of the strings stretched across the piano. "See? Like I told you before."

"How does such a simple device produce such sounds?"

Hunter chuckled. "I'm not sure myself. I didn't make the instrument, I only taught myself to play it."

"You are self-taught with this mighty machine as well?"

"Yeah. I know the guitar the best, but the piano works by similar rules based on flats and sharps, etc. I know a little violin, since that's an awesome instrument and I just  _had_  to learn  _some_ , but overall my skills peak at guitar, piano, most string instruments, and I guess drums if you count hitting one to the beat knowing how to play it. When my dad left for Idris, I began to broaden my horizons, you know? Expand out into more instruments."

"Might I request you show me how this grand piano works?"

Hunter smiled. "I'd love to. And actually, this type of piano is called a 'Grand piano,' so it seems the name suits it well."

"Indeed it does."

Hunter scooted to the right of the bench and patted to his left for Fae to sit down. He did so, and then Hunter put his hand on the white teeth. "These are the keys. Right here is a middle C, not too high, not too low, and a good place to start. As you go up the white keys, you move up the regular notes, except for here where you need to press a black key. It's weird, I know."

Hunter started pressing the keys in succession, the pitch slowly rising with each 'key.'

"And most of the black keys are sharps/flats. Sharp means the pitch rises in a half step, between the regular notes, and flats make the pitch lower by a half step. This key here is B sharp/C flat. You follow?"

Fae nodded. It was a simple system (barring that random black key that was regular and the white key that was a sharp/flat instead), and each note was mesmerizing to Fae, resembling the notes Hunter played on his guitar, yet softer and less… _tangy_. Was that the right word? Had he used it properly? Either way, he knew that there was a distinct difference yet similarity.

When Hunter played the black key, Fae became deeply distraught as he heard the sound produced. "This note seems to be broken."

Hunter chuckled. "No, it's supposed to sound that way."

"But it is so…harsh."

"Well, yes, but you get used to it after a while. If you play it in a chord, three notes each two keys apart…"

He played two white keys and a black key between them, producing an ominous sound that did sound slightly familiar from all of Fae's experience with Hunter's previous tunes. If he didn't focus too hard, it might sound ordinary, but it certainly wasn't as smooth and flowing as the previous notes Hunter had played.

Fae's face must've shown his discomfort and internal debate, because Hunter laughed. "If you think  _that's_ bad, check this one out."

He moved his fingers to another three keys, a little more spread apart, that made a terrifying sound that should have been reserved for only the most evil and possessed of instruments. When Fae voiced these thoughts, Hunter ceased the chord with a warm giggle. "That was a tritone, what some once called the devil's chord."

"I would presume so, yes."

Hunter laughed with a warm smile that Fae couldn't help but relax at when he witnessed. "Okay, let's go back to that minor chord - the regular one with the black key." He played the previous three notes, which now seemed much nicer than the tritone. "How would you make this major? Regular, I mean, without the black key?"

Fae looked at the positioning of Hunter's fingers, before requesting that he play the tune again. He listened to the three keys, easily picking out the black one and considering all the music that he'd heard Hunter play before.

"The key on the left," he said. "Move the middle finger from the black to the white key at its left."

Hunter did so and played the chord. This time it came out silky smooth. Hunter smiled and gave Fae a quick kiss. "Well done. Why don't you try now?"

Fae blinked, looking at the instrument. He held up his hand and wiggled his fingers, before placing them on the keys Hunter had. It was an awkward angle, since he was using his left hand, but he maneuvered his fingers individually into position and then pressed down on the keys. He wasn't sure how hard he was supposed to play, so the chord came out much louder than when Hunter played and he instantly retracted his hand in fear.

"I believe the piano did not like my work."

Hunter laughed. "No, Fae. You just pressed a little too hard. The harder you press, the louder, and the note lasts as long as you hold the key down. If I press this pedal while we play a note, then the note will continue and I can move my hands to play other ones while the first goes on." Hunter shifted his foot and pressed a key quickly. This time, the note continued and didn't cut off when he stopped. "Useful for certain songs, but let's keep the pedal out of the equation for now. Moving your fingers individually can be hard enough, but adding your foot into things takes a lot of practice."

"It is indeed an interesting concept. The creator of this tool must hold much fame."

"Well, whoever they are, they're probably long dead. Besides, the piano has probably been upgraded many times over the years since its creation. Anyway, let me show you a song I've been working on. It's really simple. You're left-handed, right?"

Fae held up his left hand. "I favor this hand for certain tasks, yes, however I consider myself ambidextrous. I learned to be well prepared for any scenario long ago. Should one hand be injured in battle, I must be able to cope."

"That's awesome. The piano requires individual attention to all fingers regardless of dexterity - like typing on a computer - but you shouldn't have too much trouble. Now, for this piece that I'm thinking of, you're gonna play these two notes, one two, one two, one two. Then you're gonna shift it up and repeat that process but with these two notes. Then, you come back down half way, not as low as the first notes, but lower than the second ones."

Hunter began to demonstrate the melody that Fae was to play, following a rhythm and a pattern. He put his hands on Fae's, guiding his fingers into place as he began to show him the piece. Although Fae learned very quickly, Hunter still took the excuse to stay close.

"This is the foundation of the song we're going to play. It's important that you keep your rhythm consistent even when I play something different. You need to stay aware of me and my timing as well to sync us up properly, but you also can't get caught off guard when I move notes faster or slower. You understand? I guess I never realized how complicated this really was."

"You will find my academic haste proves useful. Growing up in a world that demands you prove your worth time and time again teaches you to learn quickly."

Hunter leaned his head on Fae's shoulder. "Well, at least something good came out of your past. After everything that you've been through, you've only grown more wise and powerful. We have a saying that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I've never found a way to disprove that statement."

"I can find none as well."

Hunter started teaching Fae more of his part, having Fae play it again and again and increasing the amount he would play in succession. There were times where he could play a new part individually, but the transition from the memorized part to the next became difficult. Hunter was more patient than Fae's previous tutors, which wasn't unexpected, but it was a foreign feeling, having a teacher that worked to help Fae improve when he struggled rather than threaten him to do it properly. Hunter suggested techniques to aid in the transitions, the two of the enjoying the intimate experience, relaxing as they had a date of sort.

Time passed with neither keeping track, and soon Fae knew the entire piece. He played it back without stopping, even as he made a slight error here and there - his finger slipping and cutting off a note too quickly or just hitting two keys at once. Hunter said the most important thing was that he didn't stop each time he made a mistake. Perseverance was key, and Fae needed to not be afraid of his failure so much that he stopped every time he didn't make a perfect run. But making a perfect run was okay too.

"That's amazing.  _You're_  amazing," Hunter sighed. "You learn so much faster than I do."

"You invent these tunes based on no written guide, merely using your ears. Such a feat was never meant to be simple, yet still you have completed so many songs. You have given me a pre-made melody - I have merely remembered the pattern you have taught. Yet you create these…from scratch. If that is the proper usage of those words."

Hunter rested his head on Fae's shoulder again, a gesture that he seemed to be doing often to show his affection levels. Fae wasn't complaining. Hunter's warmth against him was comforting.

"We make a perfect team."

"Indeed we do."

Hunter sat up straight and put his hands to the keys, playing a new piece on the higher keys. He stopped after a few measures and took a deep breath.

"I'm going to count one, two, three, four to reassess the rhythm, and then on the next four you're going to start your part, okay? Let's see if I remember my own on top of yours. I've never had a second player before, so this'll be a good test."

Hunter did as he said, counting 7 beats, one, two, three, four, then one, two, three. Fae started on his part, but Hunter began to play beside him, using both hands and doing a much more complicated piece. Fae had to work hard to keep both Hunter's rhythm and his own in sync, while also remembering his part in general. Hunter got off beat a couple of times and/or hit a key quickly because he'd missed it while Fae sometimes lost where he was in his piece, but overall they did well together. Fae smiled as he made music with Hunter, tapping his fingers across the keys.

When the song came to an end, Hunter held his final notes a little longer than usual, and even when the sound faded from the room, he kept his posture and the feeling of the song going for just a little longer. The atmosphere remained until Hunter let out a deep breath and sat back, breaking the spell before it became awkward. Hunter seemed to know the perfect time to cut off.

"That was quite entertaining. Though it seems you are far more skilled with this instrument than I."

"You just began. I've been at this for a while. I have no doubt that you'll be working with both hands before you know it. Hell, next time we do this, you might be ready to get started."

Fae slipped his hand onto Hunter's. "You shall forever remain my superior musician. The hour is late - or perhaps early. Come, you must rest."

Hunter looked at a clock on the wall. "Wow, it's 3. We still need to be careful. No one can be allowed to see you in the halls."

"Of course."

Hunter stood, leaning against the piano to yawn and stretch, before then leading Fae to the door. Fae smiled and followed, looking around for any Shadowhunters wandering the halls. Being an Institute, there were no doubt people on guard at all hours of the day for an alert, but the night did prove to lessen patrols. Hunter went down a different path than Fae had, but in turn, the route was much faster than before. Fae wished for the chance to map out the entire Institute, but at least he knew where the music room Hunter so loved was in comparison to his room.

When Fae slipped inside his room, Hunter closed the door, locking it, and then walked over to collapse on his bed. "Shouldn't've stayed up so late," he slurred.

"I am unsure your usage of English was properly implemented."

"'M too sleepy for words."

Fae laughed. "You are ever adorable in your weary state."

"Stay. Sleep wiff me."

Fae kissed Hunter on the forehead. "I wish nothing more at present, but I must return before day breaks. Dawn arrives soon."

"Five mins?"

Fae chuckled. "Five may turn to more should I submit."

"Yup." Hunter shuffled and slid under the covers. "C'mon. Pleeeaaase?"

Fae sighed, but considered the excuses he could use for his early absence. He could go on a quick hunt before he returned. It would have to be a strong beast for it to be important enough that he would go after it, but something in the area of the Wild Hunt's current location. It wasn't as though he didn't get bored and fight monsters often. He had made it a personal trait of his to excuse most of his excursions. He tried not to use the technique too often, but it wouldn't be too dangerous to stay.

He climbed onto the bed, hoping that Hunter didn't mind his attire, and laid down so that he was slightly hidden behind Hunter. If anyone came through the door (and considering this was a world where Shadowhunters had unlock runes, that was entirely a possibility) Fae would be at least somewhat hidden. Hunter made him get under the covers, Fae checking that the space between the bed and the wall was enough for him to slide down into should he need a quick hiding spot before obliging.

Hunter snuggled up against Fae and was quickly asleep, gently snoring, while Fae smiled and closed his eyes, trying to relax. He was a light sleeper for the sake of always being prepared for ambushes, and considering he was sleeping in a Shadowhunter Institute, he had a hard time calming his natural survival instincts. The previous night he slept with Hunter was admittedly a risk as well, but he had been slightly more distracted and worn out to care very much.

Strangely, he was finding it easier to forget his worries with Hunter. He should be on high alert when it comes to visiting a Shadowhunter Institute, but though he was still on guard, he was much more relaxed than he expected he'd be. He didn't want to think about what might happen if they were caught and reported, but he didn't take extra precautions to prevent it, either. He would deal with that later. He knew that he should start upping his security measures and soon. But for now, he wanted to enjoy these moments when he was free to do as he pleased. He so rarely had the opportunity throughout his life.

He laid beside Hunter, inhaling the scent of the boy and finding comfort in his warmth. He didn't want to lose this, he would treasure these moments while he had them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: "Need you Now" by Lady Antebellum


	18. No Wise Words Gonna Stop The Bleeding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? You mean chapters aren't supposed to be 12,000 words on average?
> 
> Yeaaaaah. It got worse.
> 
> You know da shpeel. The cheese is real. (I didn't mean for that to rhyme when I wrote that)
> 
> BTW I binged Banana Fish and WHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?! Main characters belong together, let none tell you otherwise. They're in love without admitting they're in love even though every trope in existence has been used to say they're in love. They have 'You're the only one that's ever been able to do that without getting your hand blown off because of his temper!' They have 'One's innocent and the other is hardened badass who knows what he's doing.' They have 'He can only be himself with you're around, he doesn't want to be alone anymore.' They have 'He's your greatest weakness, everyone knows it.' They have 'I'm completely injured and in trouble right now but it doesn't matter I have to see him!' They have 'He's the only person who's ever cared for me without asking anything else in return.' They have 'I can tell when you, a very adept and experienced liar, are lying because you get terribly calm and no one's noticed this detail before.' AND SPOILER ALERT THEY DON'T OFFICIALLY END UP TOGETHER BEFORE ONE OF THEM DIES! Like, really. Anime (and the manga it's based off of) is very cruel.
> 
> Okay, rant over.
> 
> Merry Christmas Eve Eve. As an early present, I'm giving you this chapter. I'll be posting another tomorrow and two on Christmas. I gotta wrap this series up so that I can get to the sequel.

Hunter woke up staring at Fae's sleeping face.

He wanted to keep this moment forever, sleeping next to the faerie's warmth and seeing him relaxed. Fae's expression was always on guard, ready to put up a mask at any moment and keeping an air of superiority to make sure that no one ever messed with him. While that was extremely attractive, Hunter found that he liked this side of Fae, when he allowed himself to smile out of joy and not malice.

Fae wasn't even smiling now and it was  _still_  nice. His face was completely relaxed in his sleep. Hunter felt proud and honored that he was the one that Fae trusted to let his guard down beside. This was an Institute, after all. Even so, Fae looked like there was no threat in the world that could wake him. It was rare, seeing such peace on the faerie's face. Hunter wished he could take a picture, but he settled for memorizing it as best he could, taking in the details of his companion's sleeping face.

His hair was draped across his face, shimmering between a light orange and a honey yellow as though it couldn't decide. It almost seemed to be cracking like fire, rippling to the beat of his breathing. His sharp jaw was slightly obscured by the mattress he was laying on (for some reason Fae had slid down beneath the pillows, probably for safety's sake so he wasn't able to be seen) but remained ever ethereal. His face muscles were completely relaxed, and Hunter heard the light sound of Fae's breathing.

Hunter noticed the moment when Fae's face twitched slightly as he was aroused from his sleep. Suddenly that mask that he always wore was back up again. It didn't even seem intentional, he didn't seem to realize that he was so guarded and defensive. He grew up that way, Hunter summarized. He grew up having to put up walls and there was never a place where he could simply relax and stop worrying. Even with Hunter, Fae let only a small portion of his barrier down. While Hunter definitely saw a difference between when they were alone and when they had company, Fae was still on the defensive.

Still, Fae trusted Hunter enough to let him see him when he was at his most vulnerable: in his sleep. Hunter knew that Fae had been tense when they'd fallen asleep last night. Fae was a light sleeper that had to be ready to attack at a moment's notice, but so far, he'd let his guard down even when resting in an Institute when it came to sleeping with Hunter - in more ways than one.

"Hey," Hunter whispered to Fae, his voice loud in the peace and quiet of the morning.

"Hello," Fae muttered, gathering his bearings. "Is the hour late? Have you rested properly?"

"It's not noon yet, it's still the morning. But it'll  _be_  noon in about half an hour. That's plenty of sleep for me, considering the time we went to bed."

"I should depart," Fae muttered, though he didn't sound too excited. Case in point, he stopped his awakening process and simply collapsed in the sheets again. "But I enjoy this warmth."

"If you're gonna get in trouble, it's probably best that you leave." Hunter scooted close and wrapped his arms around Fae. "But I don't want you to go either."

Fae chuckled. "Perhaps staying for my mornings is not the wisest course of action merely because of my reluctance to withdraw."

Hunter smiled. "Yup. You're  _not_  gonna get in trouble for being absent for so long, right?"

"I have freedom to take my leave. The Hunt celebrated a grand occasion. We had slain a savage fiend and were rewarded by the kingdom that requested our aid. I had been awake for many hours before the celebrations died and I was free to visit."

"Well, I'm glad you came."

"As am I. I do hope I can learn more songs on your grand instrument."

"Maybe I can teach you to sing, too."

Fae averted his gaze. "I cannot…I have long since refused to…it is very complex."

"You  _can_  sing?"

"Long ago. Time has taken from me many things. Once, I sang freely to weave magic into my voice. But that is a woman's technique, and I am not a woman. The taunting I would receive would beget only pain and disrespect."

"That's a shame. I know you'd be really good."

Fae blinked in surprise. "I presumed you would encourage me to pursue my talent once more."

Hunter shrugged. "I know better than to push you. I don't know what it's like to be a faerie, not really. If you abstain because you need to to survive, then I won't argue. I'll just express my disappointment and move on."

Fae sighed and smiled. "My Hunter, you continue to surpass my expectations."

Fae leaned in and kissed Hunter gently, and Hunter had to resist the urge to smirk. He knew Fae well and knew exactly how to surprise him. He felt a sense of pride to be the one that knew what he had to do when it came to Fae. Despite his urge to have Fae pursue what he wished, he knew that there were sometimes things that couldn't be helped - and it was best not to challenge faerie rules. If he had to choose between having Fae sing and having Fae  _alive_ , he would take the latter, thank you very much.

Hunter felt as things began to heat up, and soon Fae was slipping a leg across his waist and was then straddling the Shadowhunter. Fae aligned their bodies before taking Hunter's hands (which had somehow found their way into Fae's hair at some point) and then pinned them to either side of Hunter's head. Hunter would  _not_  admit aloud how much he liked it when Fae took control - mostly because he himself didn't know what the hell he was doing 90% of the time. But he relaxed into Fae's grip and allowed him to do as he pleased, to Fae's delight as well, if Hunter was reading the signs of enthusiasm correctly. He let Fae press their chests together and was suddenly  _very_  thankful he was wearing loose sweatpants for night clothes.

Hunter felt Fae kiss him like they'd never kiss again (entirely a possibility in their lives, so why not act like it was the end of the world every time they made out?) and move his hips in a way that caused Hunter to let out a moan. He felt Fae's smirk and would've normally scowled and defended himself, but Fae wasn't wasting any time with arguments and pride and whatnot. A moment later, Hunter forgot what he was angry about and just brushed it aside. Who cared about dignity and self-esteem when there was  _Fae?_

There was a light knock on the door. "Little bro? You awake yet?"

Hunter gasped and pulled back, beginning to panic. Fae, however, was at least partially composed. The window couldn't be opened without Merida hearing, and there was no way to explain Fae's presence in the room (especially not when they looked like they had just been making out - which they had) so Fae rolled off of Hunter and then to the opposite side of the bed, landing on the balls of his feet silently. He laid down, hidden between the bed and the wall. That would have to be good enough.

Hunter tried to think of dead faeries to sober up while fixing his appearance as best he could. "Yeah? What's up, Mer?"

"Can I come in?"

There seemed to be concern in her voice, helping Hunter gather his bearings. "Sure, something wrong?"

He heard the sound of an unlock rune and then Merida slipped into the room. She closed the door behind her. "Still sleeping till noon, huh?"

"You know it." He noticed the way she was hanging her head and seeming reluctant to speak. "Did something bad happen, Merida?"

"Well…no, nothing  _bad_ , per se. I just…" She took a deep breath. "I got into the Scholomance. I…well, I-I mean I haven't gotten  _in_  yet, but I've been accepted to take the exams and stuff."

"What? Merida, that's  _great!_  I thought you couldn't qualify for another couple years?"

"Yea, but since I was graduating this year with all of the honors classes they had and I've already been out in the field long before the Shadowhunter Academy reopened - I'm already a veteran of sorts - they've given me…a scholarship, I guess you could call it. Like you said, they need all the elites they can get and they picked me up as soon as they saw me."

"Why do you sound so disappointed?"

"I…I just didn't think I'd have to say goodbye so soon. And…I'm worried. What if that place changes me? I've…I've never been stationed anywhere besides our Institute for longer than a week or so. What if I mess up and don't get the memo and then get picked out as the socially inept loser who just got there because they were desperate for new Centurions? What if I know no one else and I'm the only one from the Academy that gets in? What if I can't make friends? Are we even  _allowed_  to have friends there? What if I can't keep up-?"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down, sis. Come'ere."

Merida sulked over and collapsed across the foot of the bed. "So many things could go wrong, Finn. And I'll be all alone! We haven't been apart for so long since…since before mom left us."

"Before she  _died_ , Mer."

"She left us before she died, Finnegan."

"You don't know that. She led the Clave to one of the biggest Downworlder plots in America. She was ordered to go in, and-"

"Since when have you ever believed the  _shit_  in the  _report?!_ " Merida snapped. "I saw the divorce records, the emails, the text messages she sent to those Downworlders that she trusted. The Clave tried to hide it,  _Dad_ tried to hide it, but she left  _him_ , left  _us_ , of her own free will! No one  _told_  her to do it, no one  _ordered_  her to leave like she did. She trusted her friends and she died for it!"

Finn flinched. He hadn't known Merida was so affected by this. She always acted like she didn't care about the circumstances surrounding their mom's death. It had made Finn so angry when she casually mentioned how their mom had died for a cause. Finn  _hadn't_  believed the report when he'd first heard it. He knew the Clave was tough and took risks, put the Law above love and family, but he couldn't bring himself to believe they'd purposefully just send their mom to her death, throw her away like her life meant nothing to them. Maybe that was just him in his young mind, but he had been a Shadowhunter all his life. There was no such thing as childhood innocence. Eventually, he let his anger go. What could be done even if he  _was_  right? If Merida was okay, Finn shouldn't be the one to correct her. He needed to support her after their mom's death, not bring her down.

Little did he know she was just pretending too.

"That's why you were so Downworlder-phobic," Finn summarized. "I knew it was bad, but…I-I guess I didn't see  _how_  bad. I'm sorry I didn't realize it before, Mer."

"After that, we stuck together. You and me. And Selina. Nine years. We refused to be transferred anywhere without each other, outside of this Institute. I don't know what I expected. I thought that we'd always be together. I thought that I'd be able to get over what happened by the time we  _were_  separated by fate. I thought I  _was_  over it, that I'd put it behind me. Now…I'm just scared. I don't want to be left alone. I don't wanna be far away if something happens to you or Seels. And I don't wanna…feel like I'm leaving you like she did."

"Mer…of  _course_  that's not-"

"I know!" she snapped, before putting her arm over her eyes and sighing. "I know. I just…I can't get it out of my head. I don't  _want_  to think like this. I really shouldn't be, not anymore. Everything happened so long ago and I had recovered. Now that I'm actually facing the opportunity to leave or stay, to go someplace where I could benefit the world and be known as a great Shadowhunter, but at the cost of leaving you and Selina…I don't know what to do. I'm hesitating and letting my thoughts overwhelm me. I don't know how to go on."

Finn scooted over and hugged his sister. "You do what you believe is right and what you can handle. It'll be a big change, settling in isn't gonna be a fun process, but I know you'll make it. Seels and I can handle ourselves without you. We're parabatai, we won't let anything happen to each other. And we'll be here, waiting for you to come back to us as a high and mighty Centurion. We'll be rooting for you, and I, for one, know that you're gonna succeed as the best Centurion out there. You'll make a difference, show those upstarts how good the Scion family really is, and lay down the law the  _right_  way."

She moved her head to lie on Finn's shoulder. "I won't be able to tell you about anything I'm doing. Even once I graduate."

"Doesn't matter. I'll send you letters about what we're doing. I'll tell you about Selina and I going on missions, and I'll tell you anything interesting that happened during the meetings with the DW's."

"Do they even allow you to send letters?"

"I'll convince them to let me. It's not like I'm a mundane or a boyfriend. I'm your brother, your twin, your family. They  _have_  to let me at least send a letter every week about our days. I'll be careful and never mention the others to be Downworlders and use their aliases so any snooping mail carriers don't see anything they shouldn't. Hell, if I play my cards right, I could get Dad on my side too. You know that he has a soft spot for you, and I have no doubt that he'd at least petition for me to stay in contact with you while you're away. They can't deny for  _me_  to send  _you_  letters, even if you can't send letters out for risk of security."

She smiled and gave a weak chuckle. "Yeah. That'd be nice." She sighed. "I'm just scared of being isolated for so long. The Scholomance is no playground."

"Maybe so, but just know that we're here for you if you ever wanna come back. And we're cheering for you to make it, no matter what gets in your way."

She gripped Finn's arm and snuggled against him. "It'll be a long time away from each other."

"We'll stay in touch. I promise. It's not the end, not by a longshot. Nothing's gonna happen to us. We're gonna be there for your 'Welcome back' party no matter what it takes."

She sighed. "Thank you, Finn."

"That's what brothers are for. That's what  _twins_  are for. I'm your other half."

"I thought that was Selina."

"Her too. You are both my other halves. I've got three halves in my life."

"That makes no sense."

"Exactly."

She snorted and shoved him away. "You doofus."

"That's me!"

She sat up and smacked him with a pillow. "With math like that, maybe I won't need to worry about coming back."

"Aw, I'm hurt! You're one of my three halves!"

She smacked him again and he returned the favor with his own pillow. He got her laughing. That was more than enough for him. He could take a pillow beating from his sister if it meant it got her mind off of all the bad thoughts swimming through her head. It was a common trait of Shadowhunters to be wracked by enough depression to fill a high school's worth of teenagers.

"Thanks, Finn," Merida laughed.

"No problemo."

When Merida finally departed, he knew that he'd gotten her into a better mood. Pillow fights were a Shadowhunter-approved method of cheering someone up.

"I knew of your kind heart, however I've not seen your familial interactions in the past."

Hunter jumped and remembered that Fae was still in the room. And he'd just heard that entire interaction. Including his name. First  _and_  last.

"I…uh…thanks."

Fae crossed his arms and rested his head upon them, smiling up from the side of the bed. "Finnegan Scion. The name suits you."

Hunter blushed hearing Fae call him by his real name. It was odd, but not  _entirely_  undesirable. Or undesirable  _at all_. It was desirable.  _Very_  desirable. "This is bad, isn't it?"

Fae shook his head with a sad smile. "I desire the knowledge of your true name, however it would bring only vexation in the future. I know of a technique to revoke memories and leave them within your possession. Do with them as you see fit. You are not forbidden to tell me of what I lost. Simply keep your name hidden and all shall be well."

Fae put his index and middle fingers up together onto his forehead. He closed his eyes and concentrated for a moment, red flames sparking to life where his fingertips made contact. He pulled his hand away, the fire building in the space between his head and his fingers, before he held his hand out and the magic conglomerated into a solid sphere with swirling red wisps of energy floating within. Fae set it in Finn's hand before he proceeded to collapse on the floor.

Finn looked over the side of his bed to see Fae sleeping soundly. He examined the tennis-ball sized sphere in his hands, hefty despite looking like it was made of nothing but plastic with gas inside. Finn walked over to his desk and opened the drawer, pulling out a box that he'd received a crystal paperweight in as a gift for his parabatai ceremony. It was specifically padded to contain a delicate object, so he figured that it would do well enough. Luckily the paperweight he'd gotten was mostly round and the cushion inside the box was malleable. The memory sphere fit in perfectly. He put the box in the back of his dresser in his closet, hidden behind his clothes. Just to be safe, he wrapped the box in a pair of socks.

When Finn returned, Fae had awoken once more, rubbing his eyes and holding his head. "I slept through your encounter? Or…I took my memory."

"You look like you just had a magic hangover."

"That appears to be an appropriate term. Why must I subject myself to such torment?"

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"I…your sister entered the room after I had taken cover. I recall your voices proceeding in conversation, however…the memory is blurred. Like a dream. I cannot make out words, nor my own thoughts on the matter."

"You had to take the memory of my name. My full name, nonetheless - you learned both first and last."

Fae's expression darkened in disappointment, as though he'd just been told he won the lottery and then remembered he'd thrown away his ticket. "Your…I see. Thank you, Hunter. I assume I entrusted you with the Sphere."

Hunter sat on the bed beside Fae. "Yeah. I hid it."

"You may view the memories within if you merely hold it within your hands and concentrate. You are the only one allowed access to the Sphere, if I have bestowed you the power as its keeper."

Hunter kissed Fae's temple. "Your abilities never cease to amaze me. I'm sorry you can't know my name, but if anyone was to interrogate you…"

"I understand. It is for your safety. I would never risk your harm for my own desires."

Hunter pulled Fae into a kiss. "You should go. You've stayed longer than you usually do. Best not to push your luck. I've got a night shift patrol tonight, but I'll see you when I can."

Fae nodded and kissed Hunter again before heading to the window.

"Farewell."

Hunter nodded with a small smile. "Bye. And…I love you."

Just in case.

Fae sighed. "I will love you, always."

Just in case.

Hunter frowned. "Way to steal my thunder. That's way better than what  _I_  had!"

Fae chuckled and shook his head in exasperation. But he wasn't annoyed by any means. Hunter knew how to cheer anyone up with just a simple sentence. It was an amazing quality that he would cherish.

"Oh, by the way. You're my third half."

Fae raised an eyebrow with his cute confused face. "Pardon?"

Hunter chuckled. "Nothing."

Hunter watched Fae hop out the window and then ride away on his steed. Maybe one day he'd get to return Fae's memories, in another life where there was no risk of anyone knowing about the two of them. Wishful thinking, but Hunter wanted to know Fae's name too. He wanted to hear Fae call him Finnegan again. He hated being called Finnegan by anyone except Merida and Selina, mostly because anyone else were adults and higher-ups who were all just big jerks.

But Fae…he wouldn't mind hearing Fae call him by his full name just a few more times. Curiosity gripped him and he walked over to the dresser in his closet. He pulled out the box with the Sphere inside and concentrated.

' _Finnegan Scion. The name suits you._ '

Finn smiled, feeling a warm burst of emotion. At least he'd have this memory of the one time Fae knew who he truly was. He wouldn't let anyone else have this. If Fae couldn't remember that moment, at least Finn could. He put the Sphere back in its hiding spot. He'd come up with a better method of protection later.

"I have three halves in my life. I didn't get my math wrong, Mer."

* * *

Fionn watched as Teine and Lasair paced around their fiery grotto.

" _Selina Dalmasca, you say? Hm, yes, that does sound familiar,_ " Teine muttered.

" _What if it's_ Seline?" Lasair said with disgust.

"Seline?" Fae repeated.

" _Yes, a Lunarian of the moon. Seline has always been known as a major bitch of the Lunarians, and of the Astrals in general._ "

" _Lasair, don't say such things of her,_ " Teine scolded. " _It_ is  _true that Seline is known as one of the…more_ stricter  _of the Lunarians, and she_ did  _have a feud with you, Nix…but she does not go through a cycle - she wouldn't simply lose her memories, let alone become a Shadowhunter. The odds of something like that happening are…infinitesimal._ "

" _Well if_ anyone  _could fool the Clave, Shadowhunters, and hide herself as one for so long growing up, it would be Seline,_ " Lasair drawled. " _All it takes is a little magic and spellweaving and she could easily make it more than a simple illusion. She could bear runes, do their fancy ceremonies and whatnot, grow up a Shadowhunter in every way, and no one would be the wiser._ "

"What purpose would she have for doing such a thing?" Fionn asked.

" _She grew up as your boyfriend's BFF, right? It's possible she knew who he would become to you and she came to ruin things._ "

"By growing up her  _entire life_  looking after him?"

The dragon gave a shrug. " _Astrals are patient when they need to be, especially Seline when she wants something. It's not like we've got a lot to do as gods - eternity is a long time. We answer prayers here and there, but a lot of us aren't even known as Astrals to the people. It sounds like something she'd pursue to get under your skin, something she'd do for a passtime. Imagine, making your little Hunter choose between his parabatai and his forbidden love. It would be right up her alley._ "

Fionn looked down at his fiery soup that the Draco-Infernians had given him (which was actually pretty good and proved that he was an Infernian since he could eat it without burning up). He knew that there was something off about Selina, he sensed it. For her to be this Lunarian Seline that was out to spite him made sense when Lasair put it that way. The question still remained of how she knew that Hunter would become Fionn's love interest.

"Does she possess the ability to predict the future of Hunter, and of me?"

" _Lunarians have a lot of weird powers. The moon has always been known to be mystic. We Astrals gain power from those who believe in us, we have a symbiotic relationship with our believers. If anyone believes in Seline's ability to see the future for some stupid reason that none of us actually understand, she'll be able to do so._ "

" _Some people connect the sun and the moon with prophetic powers,_ " Teine explained. " _It would make sense if that were the case with her._ "

"She would do such a thing just to spite me…?"

Fionn concentrated, staring into his bowl.

' _Why, if it isn't the bird brain._ ' ' _Like I would ever help you, brat._ '

' _Seline!_ ' That was his own voice, filled with rage, but a weariness - as though he was getting tired of dealing with her nonsense.

' _What? Can't take the sting of rejection?_ ' ' _I only told her the truth about you._ ' ' _He wasn't cute anyway._ ' ' _Please, he was way out of your league._ ' ' _She left you because of you, not me._ '

Fionn opened his eyes again, unaware that he had closed them, now filled with a pain in his chest. He felt an anger, a fatigue, a confusion. Why had Seline made it her personal goal to ruin any relationship he'd found as an Infernian, as Phoenix? And how far would she go to destroy what he had with Hunter, as well? Now, he was absolutely positive that she would wait all this time, growing up as a Shadowhunter to become Hunter's childhood friend and then parabatai just to have more control over him when the time came to break Fionn's heart - to break  _Phoenix's_  heart. Fionn didn't remember it all, but he knew now, he could feel the suppressed memory of feelings that Seline had invoked upon him, and knew that he had to find a way to stop her.

- _ **TFOT**_ -

"You smell like dragon breath," Selina commented.

"What?" Fae snapped.

"It's a saying that means you have bad breath," Lock explained.

"Really?" Fae asked skeptically.

"Do you even brush your teeth in the Hunt?" Pyre asked. "That's gotta be a hygiene problem, considering that toothbrushes aren't an option."

Fae looked around at the group. Selina was indeed sneaky when it came to dropping hints about her origins and her knowledge of Fae's. She enlisted methods that indirectly allowed the others to get in the way of Fae questioning her. She must've known that Fae just came back from a visit with his Draco-Infernian friends, or at least smelled the fact that he had been hit with another blast of fire-breath from Lasair when he had arrived.

"Magic often sustains my health. Basic trivial needs such as that are overlooked, for they are unnecessary with the Hunt's enchantment - quite possibly my body's own natural magic augments such boons. I've found not a need to bathe often unless covered in a recent hunt's internal organs, however I do so should the Hunt come upon a spring I might use in solitude."

"I thought faeries weren't self-conscious about their bodies like humans," Hunter said.

"We are not. I am no exception. I merely bathe within waters at temperatures that would cook any others alive. I am a faerie of fire, therefore I abhor water and cold temperatures."

"Winters must be hard on you," Selina guessed.

"Oh yeah," Lock jumped in. "One time, Fae came to me in the middle of winter and passed out from hypothermia even though he was wrapped up in the weather-proof clothes of the Hunt and it wasn't even snowing outside. If it was a blizzard, maybe I'd have understood his reaction, but I had to set him on fire before his body stopped going into shock."

"I had been pushed within a frozen lake by an acquaintance holding a grudge from long ago. My brother pulled me from the icy waters before I drowned, but even his attempts at warming me failed, for he had little resources. He set me within a fire, however that proved to only keep me on the verge of dying, my condition failing to improve, but also failing to degrade. Kier-" He caught himself. "My brother informed me Gwyn punished my attacker for attempting to end my life - in the Hunt we are expected to work together. If I were to be whipped for an adequate reason, that would be overlooked as an expected response, however to end the life of another member without my actions warranting such a thing, that is punishable by an equal risking of life. He was beat to near death to represent my condition and given no aid in recovery to represent my incapacitated state. Only when I recovered would he be allowed to."

"Harsh," Selina muttered.

"We believe in the laws of old stating…well, Lock once translated it to your terms for me: 'An eye for an eye, a life for a life.' Punishment within the Hunt will be equal to the crime committed."

"It makes sense," Hunter said. "Whoever this was, he was a douchebag that took a grudge too far. He had the right to be angry at you, I'd assume, but he nearly killed you. The only question is if he actually  _knew_ that a freezing lake was your greatest weakness."

"It is not my  _greatest_  weakness," Fae quickly interjected. "It is merely a very… _very_  painful inconvenience. He knew that I abhorred the cold, but I surmise he did not wish my demise. I visited Lock so that he might aid in my recovery. Warlock fire and magic proves useful when warming a frigid faerie."

"I just chucked him in my fireplace and used some Hellfire," Lock shrugged. "No biggie. He was on fire for a day or so, but better than being paralyzed and barely alive."

"Hellfire?" Selina asked.

"Yeah, rare stuff. They say only those who've gotten on the bad side of the god Ifrit and proved themselves worthy in battle against him so that their lives would be spared could ever get it. A whole vial of that stuff can set an eternal flame on anything it touches - even if it's not flammable. I only used a drop on Fae and he was up in flames with enough intensity to nearly burn down my loft. Luckily my fireplace is equipped for fire demons, so it wasn't an issue."

"It was quite a satisfying experience," Fae agreed.

"Who's Ifrit?" Selina asked. "Is he some  _faerie_  god, cuz he certainly isn't a mundane one. At least one that I know of…"

"He is a deity of Faerie, yes. We refer to them as Astrals, and Ifrit is a specific type of Astral - an Infernian. The only information to be found on Astrals is within children's tales. As such, my knowledge is quite limited. They are said to hide amongst the Fair Folk, should they even exist at all. Many tell them off as nothing but a fantasy, for they have worked to keep hidden."

"Infernian? You would make a good Infernian."

Fae's eyes snapped over to her. Again, something easily dismissed, but extremely suspect. Perhaps Fae was becoming paranoid and cynical, but Lasair's words came back to him. Seline would do any number of cruel things to make Hunter reject him. Fae didn't remember the specifics of his former relationship with Seline, but he knew that he remembered turmoil, pain, betrayal, anger. Seline liked to ruin his relationships at any chance she got, and it made Phoenix so angry because he knew that she had a point. If all it took were a few lies, or worse, a few truths, to make someone leave him, then it wasn't meant to be.

But whatever happened to him as Phoenix and whoever he had once been, he knew that right now, as Fionn - as  _Fae_  - he couldn't afford to lose Hunter. He wouldn't be able to survive if Hunter hated him or if Hunter began to lose interest. He barely had to imagine a scenario in his mind for just a moment before he felt an ache in his stomach - a psychological, debilitating, incapacitating pain. No, he would  _not_  let that happen.

"I am not an Infernian now," he declared. "I am a faerie, I am different!"

He hadn't meant for his statement to come out so loudly, but it was too late to change what he'd said. It was clear that he'd startled all of his companions, and there was little way to explain this to them.

"I will be off," he stated instead of attempted to muster an excuse.

* * *

The days that followed proceeded much the same as the previous. Any time that he arrived at the meeting grounds, it was a struggle to avoid revealing what he knew while simultaneously attempting to find out Selina's end goal and how she planned to make Hunter abhor Fae. But she knew more than she let on, that was clear enough. All Fae had to do was look into her eyes, see a small glimmer of challenge, a smirk, and Fae realized that she was already winning.

When Fae's meeting with Lock came up, Fae was more miffed than usual, and Lock knew it. "What's been going on with you recently?"

"Many things I wish to speak naught of."

"Yeah, well now it's just you and me, so start talking."

Fae sighed and snatched the elixir Lock had made him. "I've met a pair of Astrals."

"Those gods in Faerie?"

"Yes, Draco-Infernians. Basically, fire dragons. They tell me that I myself am one as well - an Astral, specifically an Infernian called Phoenix - though I've little experience with my suggested powers. Memories return to me slowly, but they are broken and nonsensical. All I am sure of is that a Lunarian called Seline has some vendetta against me for reasons I cannot fathom."

Lock blinked innocently. "Seline? As in  _Selina?_  But she's-"

"A Shadowhunter, yes, but such a disguise would be elementary for such a being. The moonlight weaves illusions and truths and is often associated with prophetic powers. Everything within me believes she is who I suspect, every word she utters to me, every glance and secretive smirk she sends my way."

Lock shifted uncomfortably. "Are you sure you're not being paranoid about this?"

"I considered the possibility as well, however I have attempted to look from a new perspective. Never have I failed a goal set for myself, and yet she pushes me beyond words to the point where it is impossible to pretend, even as I simply ignore her presence."

Lock frowned, but rubbed the back of his head. "Just don't get yourself into trouble, all right, Fae? What is she even after? So far, the worst thing she's done is pester you non-stop, and even  _then_  she's begun to make an effort to avoid going too far."

"She is Hunter's parabatai, his companion in all aspects barring romanticism. She was brought within the meeting grounds, disrupting the sanctuary I hold dear. No matter what occurs to change her personality, her presence will be an eternal pest."

"So you're saying she wormed her way into Hunter's life just to get to you?"

"To summarize, indeed."

"Okay, I  _think_  I understand to some extent. But does she have a goal beyond pestering the ever-loving crap out of you?"

"Hunter. As far as the Draco-Infernians knew with their former knowledge of her and I, she would work to destroy my relationship with him."

"Why? What about the rest of us? I mean it's not like…wait a minute…are you two  _finally_  dating?"

Fae squinted at his warlock friend. "What does your word of ' _finally_ ' imply?"

"Oh come now, you two were eyeballing each other for  _years_."

"Eyeballing?" Fae hissed.

"It means you two were obviously staring at each other with gazes of affection ever since we first met Hunter and our usual hangout was  _my loft!_  Pyre and Wolf, now those two were as obvious as me at a party, but it was clear  _something_  was going on. Hunter admittedly stared at  _all_  of us at first, probably amazed we were so normal compared to all the Clave taught him, but he kept on staring at you most of the time. Now, I chalked this up to you were the first one he met and the most enigmatic, silent type, so he was curious about you but afraid to ask. Maybe he was surprised a faerie would help him, would save him, maybe he wanted to thank you. There were infinite possibilities, but more than enough for me to look the other way. You, meanwhile, had similar excuses - you were curious to see how the Shadowhunter you saved was doing, if he was recovering, and knew that you needed to learn how to deal with such circumstances. I was teaching you about the world, and you needed to observe how to handle compassion."

"I found a boy wishing to claim his own life. I found myself very curious as to how you would aid him in recovery. I found myself with the desire to speak to him, but no knowledge of how to do so without pushing him too far. ' _Too far_ ' is not a concept that is necessary to know of in Faerieland - not unless you are hoping to deliberately push one past their breaking point. I…had no idea how to handle him, so I brought him to you."

"Right, and that's what I thought. But even as the two of you began to really talk, the staring never stopped. You became friends, and maybe you were both nervous because of your origins - the Shadowhunter afraid of saying the wrong thing to the mysterious hardened faerie and the faerie afraid of pushing the unstable Shadowhunter - but even as you two began to open up to each other and become friends, you still seemed even more curious about each other. Now, this could be explained away if you held the same curiosity to the rest of us, but no, there was a unique bond between the two of you."

"A bond of great friendship or beyond such?" Fae asked, now very interested.

How long had he shared a romantic bond with Hunter? How long ago did the simple friendship, perhaps even just a life debt of respect, grow into more? How long had both of them been fools, misunderstanding each other's feelings, their  _own_  feelings, and delaying their future relationship? How much precious time had he wasted with his Hunter?

Lock shrugged. "It built gradually. I'm not sure when it moved beyond friendship, but it definitely did. I guess it started when you were no longer afraid to push Hunter, just the slightest bit. He trusted you enough to not push him too far and knew that you had his best interests at heart. You put your faith in him and was able to see that he was becoming stronger. After that, you gained a weird sort of clueless love that you both must've mistaken for friendship. Only recently have things gotten suspiciously…suspicious."

Fae raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"You two started spending more time alone in the meeting grounds, I barge in a couple of times while you two look guilty as hell, you use Hunter's portal to go back to his place…I have my reasons for suspecting something's going on."

"I have traversed his residence, yes."

"Have you slept with him?"

"In what manner?"

"The manner involving intimacy."

Fae rolled his eyes and looked away. "Yes, we engaged in sexual intercourse and I fell asleep in his chamber by his side. And before you ask, yes, he used runes to match me and assure me that I did him no harm."

Lock cringed. "Did  _ **NOT**_  need the details, Fae! I get enough of that from Magnus…"

Fae shrugged, completely innocent. "I still fail to discern your discomfort with such topics."

"Ugh, I sometimes forget you're not bashful about stuff like that. And no, I wasn't going to ask if he used runes. I didn't need to know  _any_  of the details, thank you very much."

"You were going to ask if I hurt him. I did not. I took caution."

"Were you safe?"

"He had a rune, and there are no sexually transmitted diseases in Faerieland."

Lock rolled his eyes. "I'm glad you can translate  _that_  mundane slang."

"I lack understanding of your own reluctance to speak the direct truth. Why must you outsiders insist on avoiding a subject and attempt to talk around what you mean? You berate my kind for doing so."

"What humanity finds socially acceptable varies as time goes on. At one point in time, no one was ashamed of neither the body nor the bold statements you're speaking of. But it was considered more…aristocratic to avoid mentioning anything inappropriate like that. Love was a foolish fetish, an unreliable and deplorable idea because we lived in a world where it could so often be faked and never seemed to last even when it  _was_  real. There were so many things that could go wrong: time, lies, and even truths. Sometimes I envy faeries since you guys take love seriously, make vows of the heart and have a society that punishes infidelity. With humans it grows harder and harder to look past lies and truths. Being immortal doesn't help, where you see love come and go, where you love and then loose countless times. I believe that you will love Hunter with everything you have and you won't break that kid's heart no matter what."

Fae nodded. "I will. And…I feel the same fear of eternity as you. To love one with pure fidelity of my heart is a serious matter, and yet I have chosen an ephemeral love, an inevitable loss and the destruction of a vital piece of me. I wish not to waste a moment I have with Hunter and desire every second I can preserve our relationship. Yet I know there are risks, there will be an end, and it instills fear within my heart."

"So  _that's_  why you're so desperate to stop Selina. If there's even the slightest chance that she'll cut your time short, you'll do anything to stop it."

Fae nodded, staring at the cement wall.

"Fae, you need to be careful about this. If you let yourself be so affected by her, then you'll end up doing all the work and destroy your relationship yourself without her even lifting a finger. Aggravation is often a technique used to make your opponent destroy themself."

"I am aware. I  _am_  a faerie. But perhaps she has brought to light fear that has always existed within me. The future will be dark, there is no doubt. My actions…I believe I know what I must do."

"Fae? You're not gonna do something stupid, are you?"

He shook his head. "In any case, we have delayed long enough. My elixir?"

Lock waved his hand and a vial of glowing red liquid appeared in his hand. He passed it over to Fae. "I hope you're gonna be okay."

Fae popped the cork and started drinking. "I've indulged in this luxury for many years. Your concern is touching, however unnecessary."

Lock cross his arms and leaned against the wall. "Well, it's a non-fey trait to have more worry than necessary."

Fae chuckled. "That is true."

"What is going on here?" The two of them looked over and saw Hunter walking in from his tunnel. "Why are you two here together?"

"Oh, hey Hunt," Lock greeted casually.

"Don't 'Hey Hunt' me.  _What_  are the two of you  _doing?_ "

"We're just hanging out. You know, talking within each other's presence?"

"I'm asking  _Fae_ ," he snapped.

"We are doing as he says," Fae responded.

Hunter grabbed Fae's wrist with the vial of elixir. "Then what's this?"

Fae ripped his arm free. "Nothing you should concern yourself with."

"Nothing I should…what is  _wrong_  with you lately?! You're always on edge, you rarely talk anymore, you never visit, you never respond to my requests to see each other, yet you seem to be fine hanging out with Lock drinking and talking about your problems! If you're so worried about Selina, you should've  _told_  me and I could've just brought her less often or just told her not to come! Just because she's my parabatai doesn't mean that I'll choose her over you every time! What do I have to do to prove that nothing's changed?!"

"How much did you hear?" Fae asked instead.

"Enough! Enough to know that you told Lock about us! You  _told_  him! And while I'm happy you love me so much, it was supposed to be  _both_  of our decision to tell anyone about us!"

"Lock learned of his own accord and I was unable to deny his accusations. He tells me that we were not so subtle in the past."

"Maybe so, but…but this was something that I wanted to be between  _us_ , this one thing that I had, that  _I_ could control, something that was  _mine_  that I loved! You are the only freaking thing in my life that I love more than anything, and just  _once_  I'd like to have something that's mine and mine alone! When Selina and Merida came into our group, learned about our location and broke this small sense of security the five of us had between us…I knew that I didn't want that to happen to the two of  _us_. But it already seemed to be! You've changed, but you won't tell me what's wrong! I've lived my entire life being afraid of people leaving me. When I look at Merida and Selina, I always wonder whether they stay with me because they love me, or whether they stay by my side out of obligation and I'm just holding them back! I can't lose you, Fae, I  _can't!_ "

Fae's eyes darkened. "This relationship is between both you  _and_  I! You believe you are the only one to have grown with little choice in your life?! I was nothing but what I was told to be, I went to drastic lengths to become something I chose, and even then I am continually dragged through my life by others! Even now, I bow to your will for love. Love of my brother, love of you, it will lead me to my ruin! I've learned to brush my concerns aside, but it would seem I've loved only a selfish brat who takes from me with nothing but negligence to give!"

Hunter was taken back. "You…you don't mean that Fae."

"At the moment, that is all I see from you. You love me for your own security, your desire for love that was denied to you by another. I am merely a tool you use to fill the hole left in your heart, that you've tricked yourself into believing is love. And you can love me for  _nothing_  else! The way our relationship works, I can never know who you are and you can never know who I am, we can  _never_  have what others have. I ignored such facts for as long as I have because I myself had foolish hope that we might endure. But I have let your parabatai instill fear within my heart, show me how naïve I have truly been. We are not meant to be, there will always be an unhealthy element to our relationship, a lust, or perhaps a dependency for self-worth. I have loved learning of your world, I have loved to see you grow as a Shadowhunter, as a musician, and as a person, but I don't believe we will benefit each other. Not as we are."

"Fae…slow down here," Hunter said, his voice shaking. "Look, I just want to have  _you_  with me and nothing more, I don't care what I have to do, but please tell me that you're not reconsidering just because of  _Selina_."

"We must both consider, we must both wake up from this delusion. I have loved you enough to break my promise to my late mother to protect my little brother - I care for you more than I do him, do you not  _understand?!_  This realization, it instills sickness within my heart, sickness at what I have allowed myself become. I believed I would not give in, but it seems I have already. I simply convinced myself I was doing no harm."

"Fae? Fae don't do this…! Fae,  _please_. Just let us start over! What did I do wrong?! Tell me and I'll fix it, just don't…don't do this to me…!"

"I am sparing us both much pain and loss. Through one heartbreak, I shall prevent many others."

"What gives you the right to say that?!"

He was sobbing now, his eyes clenched shut as tears poured down his face. He looked truly pathetic, just like the day that Fae had first met him.

"Because it is the  _truth!_ " Fae snapped. "I cannot lie, my Hunter, and I will deceive myself no longer! You'd best stop deceiving yourself as well, for I am no longer enabling this poisonous relationship between us!"

Hunter look like he'd been stabbed, staggering back against the tunnel wall and barely standing.

"Move on, Hunter. For your own good."

Fae turned to stomp down his tunnel, summoning his horse and disappearing into the darkness with a clap of thunder.

- ** _TFOT_** -

"I'm heading out," Finn sighed in exhaustion after a night on patrol.

"To see your little boyfriend?" Selina asked.

Finn turned back from the rack of weapons he was placing his sword upon. "What are you talking about?"

"You've been going to the meeting grounds all alone without alerting me, saying you're just going on a walk or getting coffee. Not to mention the way that you look at Fae is obvious. He's got his own look, but he plays it off a lot better than you. I'm your parabatai, Finn, you can't hide stuff from me."

"I-I don't know what you're talking about, Seels." He hung his bow on the rack and put the quiver onto the hook. "Maybe the others just don't like you sometimes and I'm just not telling you because I don't wanna hurt your feelings. You kinda invaded on their life and they're still getting used to you."

"Sure. I understand your point, but that doesn't mean I believe you. I won't stop you from going though, don't worry. But I want all the details later so I can write  _all_  about it to Merida."

" _Selina!_  You can't do  _that!_  She might come back just to assault me for not telling her!"

"I'll keep my mouth shut…if you fill out the paperwork for mission reports for the next year."

"I hate you."

"Love you too, Finnegan!"

He grumbled and pulled out his portal gem. "You will pay for this one day, Selina. One day."

She laughed and waved at him as she left the room. He tossed the gem in front of him as the portal opened and walked through. Little did he know that Selina held her hand up, standing at the door frame, as a small ball of light formed hovering above her hand. She blew it forward and it soared through the air, touching Finn as he stepped through the portal and disappearing inside him. Finn didn't notice it because he assumed it was just the weird feeling of stepping through a portal, and Selina smiled as she went to handle her duties in the Institute.

When Finn arrived at the meeting grounds, he heard talking in the distance. He'd sensed that Fae had been there alone, but it seemed that Lock had arrived before Hunter could finish cleaning up after the fight with a few stray demons he'd had when out on patrol. Hunter decided that he'd best wait until Fae got Lock to go away.

Hunter didn't  _mean_  to eavesdrop, but it just happened while he waited for Lock to leave. He tried not to focus on the words he was hearing, but in the end, curiosity got the best of him.

"…Sometimes I envy faeries since you guys take love seriously, make vows of the heart and have a society that punishes infidelity." That was Lock. "With humans it grows harder and harder to look past lies and truths. Being immortal doesn't help, where you see love come and go, where you love and then loose countless times. I believe that you will love Hunter with everything you have and you won't break that kid's heart no matter what."

Lock  _knew_  about the two of them? Had Fae  _told_  him? Rage boiled within Hunter's veins. Fae had been acting so distant lately, so on edge, and he seemed to have forgotten that Hunter was here for him - he'd forgotten everything they'd gone through and how close they were supposed to be. He was distancing himself and refused to say why. Hunter had thought they were beyond such things. But apparently Fae was more okay talking to  _Lock_  than he was  _Hunter_.

"I will. And…I feel the same fear of eternity as you. To love one with pure fidelity of my heart is a serious matter, and yet I have chosen an ephemeral love, an inevitable loss and the destruction of a vital piece of me. I wish not to waste a moment I have with Hunter and desire every second I can preserve our relationship. Yet I know there are risks, there will be an end, and it instills fear within my heart."

"So  _that's_  why you're so desperate to stop Selina. If there's even the slightest chance that she'll cut your time short, you'll do anything to stop it."

So Fae  _was_  affected by Selina?  _Selina_  was the reason he had been so frustrated lately? Fae should've just  _told_  Hunter! It would've been easy, they were  _expected_  to share things like this!

Fae was silent and Hunter couldn't hear him responding.

"Fae, you need to be careful about this. If you let yourself be so affected by her, then you'll end up doing all the work and destroy your relationship yourself without her even lifting a finger. Aggravation is often a technique used to make your opponent destroy themself."

Lock was right, of course, but  _Hunter_  should've been the one telling Fae that! But Selina shouldn't have been seen as an opponent for Hunter's affections. Fae should've just said something so that Hunter could've assured him about this!

"I am aware. I  _am_  a faerie. But perhaps she has brought to light fear that has always existed within me. The future will be dark, there is no doubt. My actions…I believe I know what I must do."

"Fae? You're not gonna do something stupid, are you?"

"In any case, we have delayed long enough. My elixir?"

Elixir? What the heck? Why would Fae ask for an elixir while the two of them were in secret?

Lock waved his hand and Hunter heard his magic activating. "I hope you're gonna be okay."

Fae popped a cork and started drinking. "I've indulged in this luxury for many years. Your concern is touching, however unnecessary."

Lock shifted. "Well, it's a non-fey trait to have more worry than necessary."

Fae chuckled. "That is true."

Hunter couldn't stand it anymore, hearing Fae laugh. He hadn't heard Fae laugh to him in ages, he hadn't seen Fae smile at him, he hadn't kissed him, he hadn't touched him, and now Fae was so happy while he was  _without_  Hunter, all because Fae refused to say anything.

"What is going on here?" he demanded, coming into view and barely keeping himself from shouting his words.

Little did he know that once he'd come into range of Fae, the spell that Selina had put on him spread to the faerie as well.

- ** _TOFT_** -

"Fae? Fae don't do this…!" Hunter's eyes watered with tears as he suddenly started to take in that this was actually happening. "Fae,  _please_." He was begging now and that might not have helped his case against a faerie, but he didn't care. This was Fae. Fae had to listen to him, he  _had_  to. "Just let us start over! What did I do wrong?! Tell me and I'll fix it, just don't…don't do this to me…!"

"I am sparing us both much pain and loss," Fae declared. "Through one heartbreak, I shall prevent many others."

"What gives you the right to say that?!"

He was sobbing now, his eyes clenched shut as tears poured down his face. He couldn't help it. He knew faeries expected you to never show your weaknesses and whatnot, but this was supposed to be the person that he loved more than anything, the person who loved him back. How had this escalated so quickly?  _Why?_

"Because it is the  _truth!_ " Fae snapped. "I cannot lie, my Hunter-"

Hunter's heart clenched as he heard ' _my_  Hunter' from Fae. He was still Fae's Hunter, right? He would be forever.

"-and I will deceive myself no longer! You'd best stop deceiving yourself as well, for I am no longer enabling this poisonous relationship between us!"

Hunter felt like he'd been stabbed, staggering back against the tunnel wall and barely standing. He chest physically hurt from Fae's words. This wasn't real, it couldn't be. This wasn't Fae - this wasn't  _his_  Fae.

"Move on, Hunter. For your own good."

Fae stomped down his tunnel, disappearing into the darkness before Hunter heard the distinct sound of his horse, thundering in and out with its rider.

"Hunter, are you okay?!"

Hunter didn't have the energy to reply to Lock. In all honesty, he'd forgotten Lock was even there, but it seemed the warlock had slipped away during their argument and had only come back once Fae had retreated. Hunter wanted to snap at Lock that he was peachy, he wanted to scream at him for having the gall to even ask, but he didn't have the energy. He let Lock wrap him in a hug as he forgot how to move, how to cry, how to sob, how to scream, and how to breathe.

He knew that Lock must've sent him home at one point, because then it was Selina hugging him, pushing him to go take a shower. Finn sat in the shower until the water ran cold. He mustered the energy to tell her that he just wanted to be alone, and Selina reluctantly agreed. She understood what he was going through, to a lesser extent.

But Finn felt like he had a hole torn through him. He collapsed against the door as soon as it was closed. He stared at the window that Fae had come through so recently. Someone must've closed it at some point. It was closed. Fae was gone.

Finn wasn't aware he was sobbing until he couldn't see anything. He hugged his legs tightly, burying his face in his knees. He wanted Fae back. He wanted to wake up and realize that this was nothing but a nightmare. But each time he opened his eyes, everything was still the same. He'd never wanted to close his eyes more than he did now. He'd never felt so much pain and emptiness, eating away at him from the inside and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

He needed a way to stop this pain, he just wanted it to stop.

- ** _TFOT_** -

Fionn returned to the Hunt fuming. He stomped through the ranks of men, gearing up for a large Hunt, and changed into his regular hunting gear.

"Fionn, you seem distraught."

Kieran.

"Worry not of my health. We've work to do."

"What occurred during your excursion?"

"I did what I must."

Kieran crossed his arms and stood firmly like a human might (he was picking up traits from the Blackthorn boy, it seemed). "And that might be what?"

"I declared I would lower my visitation rate. I must take my role in the Hunt more seriously, and as such I will not waste time on such pleasantries as  _camaraderie_."

Kieran blinked in surprise and stood at attention. "Flann, that does not seem to be a wise course of action."

"In what way?"

"You require a healthy dose of camaraderie. Your mental state has greatly improved since your excursions began long ago."

"They have deteriorated. I have been  _consumed_  with distractions, fantasies of foolishness. How far I have fallen."

"You have found a location of great solace. Never have I seen you relaxed as you are when you return from your companions. Your Shadowhunter in particular has induced hope within your heart,  _love_."

"What right have you to judge my life?!" Fionn snapped. "You do nothing but burden me, remaining a child even as you grow beyond one! Soon you shall be a man, so you'd best begin  _acting_  like one! Or do you expect me to coddle you for eternity?! Such a brat you are, leeching off my compassion with no end in sight! Were I free of you, my life would only improve!"

Kieran tensed before steeling himself. He then proceeded to punch Fionn in the face as hard as possible.

- ** _TFOT_** -

When Fionn woke up, he found that his face and head stung with pain. He smelled blood - his own - mixed in with the grass and the overall smell of Faerieland around him. "Ugh."

"Care to state your claim once more?" Kieran hissed from above him.

"What claim do you speak of, brother?" Fionn grumbled. "Are you responsible for my aching of the head?"

Kieran kneeled and pulled out a cloth, wiping the blood off his knuckles. "It would seem so."

He offered the cloth to Fionn, who took it and dabbed his face. "What occurred for you to do such?"

"I suspect you were possessed or otherwise infected with a virus that changed your ideals to disrespect and possibly antagonize those you cared for. Whether you intended to aggravate me or to emotionally scar me, I am unsure, however I know that you were not in your right mind. You believed what you said to be true, therefore your tongue was not impeded by your faerie blood."

Fionn sighed and held the cloth to his mouth, pulling it back to see that his lip was most likely bleeding but his nose wasn't broken and was healing with his blessing from both Gwyn and whatever power he was born with.

"Your bony knuckles prove quite deadly, my Kieran."

Kieran chuckled. "It seems you have truly returned, big brother."

Fionn sighed as he closed his eyes and tried to remember what happened. He was speaking with Lock when Hunter appeared, and then suddenly he got this overwhelming and dizzying feeling. It was like Hunter suddenly smelled different. Whatever scent he was consumed with, it felt like it was flying to his brain instantly to block out everything else. He couldn't think straight, his inhibitions lost and his fears amplified to consume him.

Fionn's heart suddenly sunk like a stone when he realized what he'd done to Hunter. "Oh, gods, what did I  _do?_ "

"I cannot answer your redundant question, so it seems you will have to enlighten  _me_ , not I you."

"I ruined it, I crushed him…I need to take it back!"

He stood and ran forward, jumping up as his steed appeared beneath him and they took off. Zoltan instantly seemed pleased to see that he was back to himself again, knowing where to take him and they were there in a flash.

Fionn jumped off his horse and went to the window of Hunter's room, but it was closed. With it closed, the wards of the Institute were sealed and wouldn't let him in without alerting someone. He put his hand to the window and concentrated on the wards, trying to adjust to the energy signature so that he could get around it. But now, he couldn't break through or nullify them. Seline must've locked him out. This had to have been  _her_  doing. Now that Fionn had ruined things between him and Hunter, she wouldn't let him take it back so easily.

Fionn squinted and saw a fog of energy over the window, the thing that was currently keeping him out, and saw Hunter in his room, standing at the door as he talked to someone, before he closed the door and leaned against it, sinking to the floor as he began to cry.

"Hunter!  _Hunter!_ "

Fionn pounded on the glass of the window, but Hunter didn't seem to hear him. Then, Hunter looked up at the window, and for a moment, Fionn had hope.

"Hunter! It's me! Let me in! Hunter!"

Hunter's eyes watered further, before he curled up defensively, hugging his knees as his shoulders indicated he was sobbing hard.

"Hunter I am here! Please! Hunter I am sorry! I was not myself!  _Hunter!_ "

Fionn was pounding on the glass desperately now. He was breathing hard, trying not to cry as he became desperate. He examined the window for a way to get inside. He just needed Hunter to see him, to hear him,  _anything_. A fire message maybe? The reason they couldn't send fire messages to each other was because of their occupations - possibly one of them could be on a mission/hunt or they could easily be in the presence of others, but now it was safe, for sure.

Fionn waved his hand and summoned fire, drawing a note in the air before directing it to go to Hunter. It dissolved into flames and then he saw the message shoot towards the window, but it suddenly disappeared and the barrier of magic exploded, an alarm being set off in the Institute. Seline had been prepared in case Fionn came - she'd made sure that any attempts to get to Hunter while in the Institute would result in him setting off the alarms, ultimately preventing him from every getting to Hunter as long as he was in there.

Fionn instantly jumped away, returning to his steed. Zoltan instantly knew that they needed to get out of there, so they disappeared to a random field outside of the city. Fionn's head dropped to his horse's neck as he resisted the urge to cry. Never so much had one person put him on the verge of tears. He gripped Zoltan's mane tightly as his horse shifted back and forth. It wasn't easy for a horse to be comforting - especially one with an attitude as great as Zoltan's - but his horse was there for him when he needed it.

He needed to speak with Hunter. The only place left was the meeting grounds, and Seline would probably discourage Hunter from coming, and Hunter would agree because he was in such a slump and didn't want to risk having to explain what happened to anyone, he wouldn't want to  _see_  anyone.

Fionn did the only thing he could think of. He contacted Lock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw, my cheesy attempts at drama. Let it be known that I acknowledge the cheese.
> 
> Chapter title: 'Breakeven' by The Script
> 
> I wanted the entire chapter title to be, like, all of this song. Seriously, it's great. Here's what I narrowed it down to:
> 
> 'They say bad things happen for a reason,  
> 'But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding.'


	19. Life's a Game Made For Everyone, and Love is the Prize

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, these final chapters. I don't think I've ever written a story so cringy since I was, like, 12 and before. But hey, this is my 'I don't give damn anymore' story, so let's do it!
> 
> Tis Christmas Eve~! Winter went by so fast, eh?
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Hunter was indulging on ice cream. That's how people dealt with break ups in the movies he'd watched. He'd gone through a tub and he still wasn't sure if he was feeling better, but the placebo effect must've helped since he  _expected_  it to numb the pain and it  _sorta_  did. It was better than nothing, and at least it kept his hands busy so that he wasn't just staring at a blank wall doing nothing (Selina had confiscated his knives).

Now he was staring at a blank wall eating ice cream.

"Finn, you need to get out and do something," Selina advised. "I can't keep telling the Head that you're too unstable from a breakup forever. He won't accept that excuse. You know Shadowhunters. They're expected to push emotion aside."

Finn couldn't just ' _push this aside_.' Fionn was the first person he'd loved, and would probably be the  _only_ person he'd  _ever_  love. Now, Finn's mind was swirling with the questions he'd worried about so much before.

' _What was the last thing I said to you?_ ' ' _What was the last thing you said to_ me?' ' _When was the last time I told you I loved you?_ ' ' _The last time I held your hand, the last time I saw you smile and smiled back?_ '

Finn sniffled as his stinging eyes burned again.

Selina walked over and sat on Finn's bed. "Finn, this is getting to the point of being unhealthy. You've become dependant on each other, you've let yourself be strung up like a puppet."

"He saved my life when we first met. He was always the most reluctant to talk to me. When he finally did, it was clear he had little to no experience with non-fey." Hunter chuckled as more tears flowed. "He stuttered as he tried to speak like Lock. He failed terribly, but he got me to laugh. I think that's when we officially became friends."

Selina sighed. "I don't want you out and about in the world when you're like this - you're in no condition to be out in the field or even just defending yourself from random monsters - but you need some sun and exercise. Exercise is healthy and helps with depression, I've read."

"I'm not in the mood, Seels."

She sighed and looked around the room. She walked over and grabbed Finn's guitar that had been sitting against the wall. "Then why don't you play? It's your bliss. You're gonna need some bliss right now. I'm gonna vouch for you to have a few more days off and I'll take your missions, but you can't do this forever. You need to get a hold of yourself, of both your sake and everyone else's."

Finn took the guitar as Selina kissed his temple before walking out. He honestly hadn't even felt like singing or playing, he didn't have the energy nor the drive to concentrate on a beat or rhythm. It would just annoy him at this point. He set his guitar aside and finished his ice cream, staring at it. He finally grabbed the instrument and headed to the Institute's music room. He sat down at the piano and flipped through the songs that he'd made sheet music for - not real or professional sheet music, but his own improvised language of notes. There was one song that he might feel better playing.

He gently tapped a few chords on the piano to psych himself up, adjusting to the piano versus the silence that he'd been living in for the past few days (besides the light ticking of the clock in his room). Then, he finally began. Getting started was always the hardest part.

" _I've learned to slam on the breaks_ ,  
" _Before I ever turn the key_ ,  
" _Before I make the mistake_ ,  
" _Before I lead with the worst of me_.

" _Give them no reason to stare_ ,  
" _No slipping up if you slip away_ ,  
" _So I got nothing to share_ ,  
" _No, I got nothing to say_ …"

- ** _TFOT_** -

Lock requested to see Selina Dalmasca at the San Francisco Institute. He wasn't allowed inside without a Shadowhunter escort, so though Fae suspected Selina of casting some spell to make him break up with Hunter, he  _needed_  her since Merida was now off to the Scholomance.

"Lock?" Selina asked in surprise. "The Head said the High Warlock had something important to tell me and only me. What's up?"

"I heard what happened to Hunter, and he's not coming to the meeting grounds. I was just talking to Fae before they had their little argument and then I talked to him  _after_  the fact."

Lock took a  _very_  deep breath.

" _What_. By my  _father_. Did. You.  _Do?_ "

Selina rolled her eyes, breaking her innocent façade and leaning against the wall. "I did what I thought was right. It was amusing to watch."

"You  _watched_  it?"

"I put the spell inside Hunter, of  _course_  I watched it."

"I told you not to do anything  _stupid_."

"I made no promises."

"To think I was beginning to  _trust_  you…"

"All is fair in love and war."

"What about  _friendship?_  Huh? I don't even have to see Hunter to know that he's a bawling mess right now and that you've just ruined his life. So congratulations, you've destroyed that boy that saved you, repaid his kindness with your petty revenge scheme."

"At least he'll be  _alive_ ," Seline said quietly, avoiding Lock's gaze. "I don't wanna see him…I can't see that again."

"Yeah, he'll be alive and miserable. Who knows? Maybe you've inspired him to take the plunge again, and this time, Fae won't be there to save him. One way or another, we're all gonna  _die_ , Seline, but Hunter can at least die happy rather than depressed. Did you even  _consider_  that? The fact that Hunter nearly commited  _suicide_  because he was so unhappy before Fae?"

"He'll get better!  _I'm_  here for him!"

"If you were here for him, then you wouldn't have taken away the only thing that he loved more than anything else in the world."

Her gaze dropped. "I can't be enough for him. I can't be enough for  _either_  of them. Why does  _everyone_  I love have to…have to be so ephemeral…?"

Lock sighed. "How's he doing?"

"Peachy. Poor thing's eaten enough ice cream to become lactose intolerant."

"Can I talk to him?"

"Sure. He's in the music room right now."

Selina let him into the Institute and Lock followed her to the aforementioned music room. She nodded and left him to knock on the door lightly.

"Selina," he called.

She turned back.

He paused, trying to come up with the words. "It's tough, being immortal. All the best people are ephemeral. That's why they're the best - they don't have a lot of time, so they might as well cram all of the goodness into their lives. Take it from a fellow immortal, don't let eternity get you down. The key is to have good memories and have people by your side. We can be immortal friends together."

She stared and the mustered a weak smile. "Sure."

Inside, he heard Hunter playing the piano almost aggressively, but playing a catchy tune and singing fluently all the same. Even when in a slump, Hunter sang like a siren. Despite the quick and lighthearted beat of the song, the lyrics were pretty depressing - though Lock expected no less considering what Hunter was currently going through. Then again, this sounded more like Hunter's depressed and suicidal stage rather than his recently broken up stage. There were tons of songs out there about heartbreak and loss of love or ephemeral love that was never meant to last, but Hunter chose  _this_  one instead.

" _We start with stars in our eyes_ ,  
" _We start believing that we belong_ ,  
" _But every sun doesn't rise_ ,  
" _And no one tells you where you went wrong_ ~

" _Step out, step out of the sun if you keep getting burned_.  
" _Step out, step out of the sun because you've learned_ ,  
" _Because you've learned!_

" _On the outside always looking in. Will I_  
" _Ever be more than I've always been?_  
" _Cuz I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass_.  
" _Waving through a window. I_ ~

" _Try to speak but nobody can hear. So I_  
" _Wait around for an answer to appear_.  
" _While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass_.  
" _Waving through a window. Oh_ ~

" _Can anybody see?_  
" _Is anybody waving_ -

" _When you're falling in a forest and there's nobody around_ ,  
" _Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?_

" _When you're falling in a forest and there's nobody around_ ,  
" _Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?_

Lock quietly opened the door as he chanced his opportunity to sneak in, Hunter repeating the lines as he got louder and more intense, almost as though he was trying desperately to get someone to hear him.

" _Did I even make a sound?_  
" _Did I even make a sound?_  
" _It's like I never made a sound_ ,  
" _Will I ever make a sound?_

There was a pause, but Lock could tell it was simply a trick ending since Hunter's expression remained into the song, his muscles tense as he prepared to continue. Lock counted to ten before Hunter slammed his fingers down on the keys and actually surprised Lock so that he jumped, but Hunter was too engrossed in the song to notice.

" _On the outside always looking in! Will I_  
" _Ever be more than I've always been?!_  
" _Cuz I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass!_  
" _Waving through a window! I_ ~

" _Try to speak but nobody can hear! So I_  
" _Wait around for an answer to appear!_  
" _While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass!_  
" _Waving through a window! Oh_ ~

" _Can anybody see?_  
" _Is anybody waving_ ,  
" _Back at me?!_

" _Is anybody waving?!_  
" _Waving?!_  
" _Waving?!_  
" _Oh?!_

" _Ooooh!_ "

He slammed down the final chords with a grand finale that would've had a loud audience clapping, whooping, and whistling had he not been alone in a music room. Hunter fell out of his trance and collapsed on the keys with a loud thud and a heavy sigh, burying his head in his arms.

"Not exactly the most graceful note," Lock called.

Hunter gasped and jumped up to see Lock, before relaxing and pulling the door over the keys so that he could lean on the piano without creating a chorus of notes that clashed. "What are you doing here?"

"Selina let me into the Institute, if that's what you mean. Besides that, you know why I'm here."

Hunter sighed. "I just wanna be alone right now, Lock."

"I get that, Hunt. But you know, coming from someone who's faced a lot of heartbreak in his long lifetime, I think I'm the most qualified to help you here. There are some relationships that are just out of your control." Lock grabbed a seat and moved to rest beside Hunter and the piano, leaning on it so that he was facing Hunter's face. "Just so you know, Pyre and Wolf are worried about you, but I haven't told them anything."

"Thanks."

"You know, Fae came to me a couple days ago, a day or two after the incident, saying that he'd been locked out of the Institute by some outside force that even  _he_  in his special faerie-ness couldn't break through. Did you lock him out?"

Hunter shook his head. "The window was closed by someone and I just didn't have the heart to open it again."

"Fae's been trying to see you, ya know."

"Why? He made his intentions clear before."

"I think it's better for him to explain, but just know that he wants to apologize. Please, just give him a chance. And open that window of yours. He wants to speak to you alone so that the rest of us can't pop in and interfere."

Hunter chuckled. "But that's your whole purpose in life."

"Damn straight."

Hunter snickered. "Thanks, Lock." Hunter sat up straight, though his gaze stayed on the piano. He rubbed his hand across the polished wood nervously. "You said…he wants to apologize? For what?"

"Breaking up the way he did. And because he wasn't in his right mind."

Hope bloomed in Hunter's chest, his stomach twisting in anticipation. "S-So…"

"He loves you, Hunter, and he still wants you."

"T-Then why-?"

"That's something for him to explain. I'm only here because you weren't going to give him a chance. You will now, right?"

Hunter nodded, trying to hide his anticipation. "I will."

"He'll be here as soon as he can get away from the Hunt. Time in Faerie is a bit wonky, as you know."

Hunter nodded.

"I'll go now, but you should be prepared for him."

Hunter nodded frantically and rushed out of the music room, heading back to his own. Lock smiled and stood, heading out himself. Now he just needed to figure out how to get back to the entrance without a guide.

- ** _TFOT_** -

Hunter started pacing as he left his window wide open, waiting for Fae.

How long until Fae arrived? What was this about an outside source that prevented him from coming to talk to Hunter sooner? Hunter sacrificed a couple innocent tubs of ice cream wallowing over Fae, but now he knew that Fae still wanted to get back together. He was elated, but he was also nervous as hell. Everything that Fae had said was true - they would be so much safer if they weren't together, and what if Fae was right? What if Hunter only loved Fae because he wanted to fill the hole in his heart left a long time ago?

Hunter heard a thud outside of his window and jumped, running over to see, but it was just a tree branch. Hunter sighed and knew he needed to distract himself. He started reading a book, but couldn't focus and started imagining Fae - his eyes that Hunter had grown so accustomed to staring at that their mismatched color no longer felt odd (if anything, people with  _regular_  eyes seemed out of place to Hunter now), his ears that Hunter loved to look at and touch because they were so different, his mouth that Hunter loved to kiss and taste and memorize with his own, and his body which Hunter had committed to memory every time they slept together-

Aw, crud, now he needed a shower or he'd be uncomfortable for  _hours_. Hunter dropped his book unceremoniously onto his bed (not like he cared about the history of China anyway) and rushed to the bathroom. He tried thinking of the myriad of things that could possibly go wrong between him and Fae. Hunter was probably selfish to hope that he and Fae could stay together, playing this constant game of hiding and probably enabling each other one way or another. He wondered if Fae might still want them to remain broken up but just stay as friends. Yeah right, Hunter wouldn't be able to control himself.

Yup, shower time.

- ** _TFOT_** -

When Fae had arrived at the meeting grounds, hoping for good news from Lock, he was there for less than a minute as Lock gave a thumbs up and told Fae "Go get him!"

Fae had dashed on his horse to Hunter's Institute and nearly stumbled as he dismounted faster than he should've to get to Hunter's window. It was wide open, but Hunter wasn't in the room. Fae carefully climbed in, looking around. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed the smell of Hunter until he was in the room positively  _filled_  with his scent.

Where was Hunter, though? Had Selina interfered again?

Fae took the opportunity to look around the room. He'd tried his best to avoid invading Hunter's privacy, worried about learning too much, but at the moment, he was too emotionally unstable to take such caution. He stared at a glass cabinet displaying trinkets that Fae didn't understand, but he saw a stele in the case with a picture beside it. There was Hunter, although he was much younger, along with another woman who looked to be an older, more mature version of Merida. Hunter was holding up his hand, the back of which having that rune that Fae saw on the majority of Shadowhunters - the one that resembled an eye. Hunter looked to have no other runes yet.

Beside the small picture, Fae noticed an odd contraption. Curiosity got the best of him and he turned the knob to open the door and reached inside. He picked up the object and turned it in his hand. It had a slot that might've been used for paper. Was it for fire messages? Fae saw a protruding part with a lense, so he put his eye to it and saw that he could see  _through_  the contraption. A scope of some kind then? Fae turned it in his hands and examined it further. There was part that almost resembled a button.  _Was_  it a button? Did it zoom the scope?

Fae pressed it.

There was a flash and suddenly Fae saw a white spot dance across his vision. He flinched and dropped the contraption to the floor as he rubbed his eyes, staggering back to maintain his balance.

"Fae?! What are you  _doing?!_ "

Fae heard Hunter's voice and his heart jumped, but at the same time his head spun because he was still blinking the spots away from the contraptions's blinding ability. He rubbed his eyes before making out a person moving in front of him, kneeling and grabbing the object that Fae had dropped.

"Ugh,  _no!_  Come on…"

Fae realized that it was Hunter, shirtless and showing off his runed skin. It wasn't as though Fae hadn't seen  _much_  more of him before, but he suddenly felt an odd embarrassed feeling. Faeries didn't get bashful over nakedness. What was  _wrong_  with him?

Hunter sighed in relief. "It's still working."

"What?"

Hunter stood and showed off the contraption. "It's a polaroid camera. It was my mom's, don't touch it again, okay?"

He pulled a piece of paper out of the slot that Fae had seen before, but he was  _sure_  that square of paper hadn't been there. It must've been revealed while Fae had been blinded.

Hunter chuckled. "I think  _that's_  a keeper."

Fae hummed in confusion as Hunter showed him what was on the paper. There was a picture of Fae's face, critically examining the camera - which seemed to have captured his image.

"That…is me?"

Hunter chuckled, a sound which made Fae's heart melt. It felt like an eternity since he'd heard Hunter so relaxed and happy while in his presence - at least while Fae wasn't stressed out himself, anyway.

"Cameras are used to take pictures, basically frozen images of whatever you point it at when you press this button." He tapped the button that Fae had found previously. "It's a genius thing. This one was something that my mom bought from a mundane shop a while ago. We loved to take pictures together. I was mesmerized by this thing when I first discovered it, and so was my mom when  _she_  got it from the store owner."

Hunter placed the camera into the glass cabinet again beside the picture of Hunter and the woman who looked so much like Merida - who looked so much like  _Hunter_. She was their mother, Fae realized.

"She is beautiful," Fae said lightly.

" _Was_  beautiful," Hunter corrected, keeping all emotion out of his voice.

Hunter closed the cabinet door and walked over to a small bookshelf. Hunter grabbed a rather hefty book and opened it to reveal a gallery of pictures taken from that 'polaroid camera.' He slipped Fae's picture - the newest one of a zoom in of his confused and curious face - into the next open slot, before closing the photo album and slipping it back into place.

It was then, watching Hunter casually put the picture away, that he noticed Hunter was wearing nothing but a towel, still damp from a shower. Fae should  _not_  be feeling embarrassed about it - he'd seen Hunter at his weakest and slept with him for the Astrals' sake. Why was he so affected right now?

"I…you should…dress."

Brilliant. So suave. He was a faerie indeed.

Hunter chuckled. "Not expecting me like this?"

"Not really, no."

Hunter gave a wry smile. "I'll be back in a moment."

Fae nodded as Hunter walked into his closet, before the faerie let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. His stomach swirled with nerves. He'd been planning this speech as best he could, but he'd never  _really_  settled on a final draft before he'd rushed over. He was just so terrified that he wouldn't get another chance to speak with Hunter - what with Selina's inevitable interference.

"So, Lock said you…had something to say," Hunter began, coming out of the closet while drying his hair with another towel.

He had changed into a pair of his night clothes - loose sweatpants that hung at his hips so that Fae could see his belly button and just a few too many inches below to stay properly focused. He still had no shirt on.

Fae nodded, dropping his gaze to the carpet. "I must…apologize for my actions. I was not myself. Placed upon me was a curse, my darkest fears surfacing to impair my judgement, harsh words flowing free that I now regret deeply."

"A curse?"

He nodded. "According to Lock, there were remnants of a spell placed upon you like a virus to be delivered to me when we met. My mind was twisted, warped to represent my darkest traits. I mean you no harm now, and I wish for you to know that I would take such bitter words back were it possible."

Hunter's posture sank. "Fae…"

"But I cannot take back what I said so I can do naught but apologize. You are no burden I am unwilling to bear. I was out of line as I attempted to take the choice from us both and claim we are best without each other. You do not hold me back in any way, you do not force me to do anything that I fail to understand the consequences of."

"Fae-"

"You  _must_  know that I love you for who you are - I love your personality, your bravery, your courage, your kindness and compassion, your ability to exceed my expectations. I love the way you laugh and smile, I love the way you're shy because it is beyond adorable and the moments you stand up as a strong Shadowhunter become ever more enticing, I love when you tell me of your Shadowhunter world, tell me things you share with few others, if not none. I love you for everything you are and never will that become a burden to me. I need not your name to understand you and why I will love you more than anything in this life. I can only hope I was wrong in assuming your love for me is misplaced, for I know firmly that mine, for you, is not."

"W-What about your brother? You said I was more important than him and that made you sick."

"My brother…there is a truth I must come to terms with - that he is growing to a man that must make his own decisions, suffer the consequences of his actions, and be able to choose how he lives his life. Loving you more than him, I have known this as fact for longer than I was willing to admit. Even so, in that time, he has maintained our bond of blood relations. Nothing has changed. Perhaps, even, I have begun to learn how to let him go. I will never be ready to accept that he is grown, but I can make my best attempts."

"And us? Are we…are we really healthy for each other?"

"Is that a question you must  _truly_  consider? I have been fill with the utmost joy with our growing encounters and intimacy. Never in my life had I been filled with such euphoria prior to our meeting. You gave me strength I was unaware I held a deficit of. I have little right to speak of your feelings, but I have seen your development. My intentions lie not with self-promotion, however I would greatly assume your mental state has improved since we have begun…dating."

The word still felt foreign on his tongue. Hunter had also informed him that humans called their lovers 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend' - depending on the gender - and when it was ambiguous or one was referring to multiple lovers of different people, it was simply put as 'significant other.' Fae had argued that the name implied he was simply a friend that was a boy - as in a male. Hunter had laughed and said that it confused him too. Fae had been experimenting with using the term 'boyfriend,' but it still felt wrong. He preferred 'lover' anyway, which made Hunter bashful, though he'd admitted quietly that he liked it too. Fae wanted more of Hunter's shyness, his love and devotion, his quirky traits and noble ones.

He didn't want this to be the end of them.

"In summary…I love you and…I regret my words and actions. I beg for your forgiveness and hope we can begin again."

Hunter stared at Fae for a long moment of silence. Fae saw as pain flashed through Hunter's eyes, tears threatening to spill, and Fae began to worry that he'd misjudged. Had Hunter been preparing to accept Fae's rejection and now, after his heartfelt speech, he was going to break the news to Fae? That would be a very…unfortunate denouement.

"While we're… _on the subject_ …" Hunter choked. "I love the way you're so caring about me in your own subtle way, the way you smile at me gently when you can tell I'm feeling down, the way you push me for the better but always seem to know the perfect limit to stop at…I-I love how you get protective over me - and maybe  _jealous_  on occasions - and how you show me the world from your perspective, telling me all about the amazing world in Faerie, the good and the bad of who you are. I…if nothing else, you're my best friend. You saved me from myself so many times that I-I can't even count. I can't imagine my life without you."

Fae's heart started to fall as Hunter worked around telling him that he wanted them to renew their former relationship. He was acknowledging their history together, the many moments they'd shared, but Fae's bitter words - however true, however false - had made Hunter start to reconsider the cons to their relationship. Now, Hunter was being as modest as he could in trying to inform Fae that his words while he was possessed (in a way) caused Hunter to admit that their relationship would only be detrimental - a poisonous relationship, as he'd said.

"I…I shall take my leave. You need not say more."

Fae turned to the window, closing his eyes as he tried to compose himself, mentally preparing for the future to come. He would have to put on a front to hide how he felt about Hunter, he would have to work hard to survive as just his friend and nothing more. He didn't want to lose Hunter entirely, even if he couldn't have the relationship that he desired.

"It was my mother," Hunter blurted.

Fae turned back to him slowly, seeing the broken look in Hunter's eyes that he seemed to have been trying to hide before. That was  _his_  fault.  _He_  made Hunter feel that way.

"My mother left me. It was years ago. The Clave said that she'd gone on a mission to uncover this big Downworlder cult, that she was a hero. But Merida dug around and found out that she had left on her own. She'd divorced our dad, she'd made a bunch of Downworlder friends and went to live with them - we also suspected an affair with one of them. Just by accident her death led us to the Downworlder operation. She died a hero, but in reality all she'd done was left us, her children, just to go and get herself killed.  _That's_ why I'm so afraid of losing people, Fae. I asked myself a lot: was I not good enough for her? And I always answered: no, I must not have been. Just look at me. I'm socially inept, I'm shy as hell, I always do what I'm told no matter how horrible because I'm afraid of doing something wrong, of not having instructions on how to go forward. I relied on my mom for  _everything_  when I was young, I must've seemed…like a spoiled kid that never wanted to grow up and be myself. Once she was gone…I was lost, I didn't know what to do. I was alone, I was clueless about the world and how to go forward without someone telling me what to do, and I blamed myself the entire time for losing her. I  _let_  my dad oppress me, I let him kick me while I'm down because I'm afraid of what happens when I'm alone. And he thinks I'm not worthy  _because_  I let him do what he pleases with me, because I'm not strong enough to stand up and become my own person!"

Fae instantly stepped forward to Hunter, realizing a moment too late that it was probably a bad idea to hug Hunter considering their circumstances. Instead, he simply put his hands on Hunter's shoulder's reassuringly and then pulled Hunter's chin up so that their eyes met - just like that day they first kissed.

"You  _are_  strong, Hunter. You are  _so_  much stronger than you believe you are. I am confident that your mother loved you beyond measure. If she left such a wonderful son willingly, then I question her judgement skills."

"I'm strong because of  _you_ , idiot! I'm strong because you believed in me, because you were willing to fight for us and I knew that I was going to keep up no matter what - I wasn't going to let you down. You gave me a life where I was in control, where I was strong in my own way. Going around knowing that I had that kind of secret - a secret that was  _mine_ , something  _I_  was in control of - it empowered me in a way. I was superior, for once  _I_  was better than everyone around me, having knowledge no one else did!  _I_  was  _strong!_  And then…I-I freaking fell in love with you and I knew we were  _so_  screwed, and somehow that made me even  _stronger!_  I was going to do  _everything_  for you,  _anything_  you asked I would've done! I  _loved_  you Fae! So why did you throw it all away?!" He stepped forward and collapsed against Fae's chest, punching him too lightly to do any damage. "I hate you…! I hate you so much for doing that to me…!"

Hunter was a mess, sobbing uncontrollably against Fae while trying to get his shaky words out. He punched Fae's chest with one hand, while ultimately hugging him as tightly as possible with the other. Eventually, his punching hand lost its energy and ended up gripping Fae's shirt while trying to hide his face. He knew Fae would shove him away any moment, so he wanted to enjoy these last moments of being there, right next to him, burying his face at the crook of Fae's neck while hugging him as tightly as possible.

Instead, Fae's arms wrapped around him and tightened their shared embrace. "I hate myself for doing so."

"I-I know you said you weren't yourself, but…but…I've needed to know for  _so_  long…I just couldn't understand why you would do that to me…!" Hunter's voice was broken as he struggled to breathe properly through his sobs. "W-When you said you weren't yourself…I-I knew I was happy, but…I still want to demand from your possessed self, or whatever, just… _why?!_  Why would you say that?! Why would you  _do_  that?! E-Even if your fears and stuff were being amplified, everything you said came from  _you!_  What you said…you just needed to be pushed to admit it all. That's how you feel, isn't it? You're afraid that we're not right for each other, that we don't love each other for the right reasons. And you're afraid of when we're going to…how we're going to end one day."

Fae closed his eyes with a sigh, relaxing against Hunter. He hadn't considered for a moment that what he'd said and what he'd done were just extreme circumstances reflecting his own feelings - so angered at the idea of Seline sabotaging him. But now that Hunter brought it up, he couldn't deny it.

"You are wiser than I, my Hunter. Yes, it seems I was merely cursed to speak my true, suppressed feelings to the extreme."

"I-I hate to think you might've one day been pushed to do what you said one day, that it was only a matter of time."

"Perhaps that is so. We could delay this speech for years if we so desired, however this present us an opportunity."

Hunter's head rested on Fae's shoulder as he nodded gently.

"Come."

Fae led Hunter over to the bed where they each sat down across from each other, Hunter grabbing the pillow to hug instead of Fae. "So…"

"I abhor the idea of ending our relationship is such a harsh manner. I abhor the idea of ending our relationship at all, in any conceivable future."

"Then we're agreed. But, Fae, we don't know what'll happen."

"I will fight for you, no matter what. I know that for certain."

"And if it came between me and your brother? If fighting for me meant that he'd get hurt or punished instead just because he's your brother. What if we ran away and he was punished because we disappeared?"

"What would happen if you were faced with a similar choice between me and your parabatai?"

"Selina? I…" Hunter stopped in his response. "I…"

"And your own sibling - your sister? Would you abandon them to the so called tender mercies of the Clave?"

Hunter's head fell. He opened his mouth to speak many times, but he couldn't form the words.

"Then I suppose we both have our answers," Fae said sadly.

"I  _would!_ " Hunter snapped. "I don't want to say it, but if I must, I  _would_."

"You would  _what?_ "

"I would choose you over them!"

Hunter was gripping the pillow in his arms tightly, out of breath from his burst of rage. He almost seemed in shock as to what he'd just said - or simply the fact that he'd actually gotten the words out in the first place.

Fae's lips formed a thin line. "So now you understand my dilemma. And my ultimate conclusion."

Hunter looked up. "You…you'd…?"

Fae nodded.

"I wanna hear you say it. Don't be a faerie, letting me assume things."

"I would choose you over my brother. My word is true, a promise I intend to honor with faerie expectations. I can only hope that your oath is as well."

Hunter closed his eyes and sighed. "You…ugh, why do I keep forgetting that you don't trust me because I can lie? I'm terrible. You have  _every_  reason to doubt me. I'm part human, and humans have a low success rate in the love category."

Fae smiled gently. "I trust you, my Hunter. Your lapse in memory proves to me you speak truths to match my restrictions."

"That and you're pretty good lie-detector. Lying to you is like lying while holding the Mortal Sword - the truth gets dragged out of you whether you like it or not."

"Your kind's Mortal Sword shows you the struggle of being a faerie. When truth is all you speak, even half-breeds who can lie are compelled to the truth, condemned if caught in the act of deceit - and they often are. Of course, this begot the generations of fey that learned to hide their signs of wrongdoing to the eyes of the truth-seeking Fair Folk around them. In such cases, the half-bloods are treated with either reverence or prejudice against them. Their untruthful tongues can prove useful when addressing non-fey, and as such, those with power often value them greatly as representatives. However they are also hated among the Fair Folk. Some are jealous of their ability, others are simply untrusting of those capable of deceit."

"What about me? Why trust me?"

Fae smiled. "As you said, I have found you easy to read. Thought I may come to…jinx myself, I believe I have adequate experience in identifying your lies. Beyond that, I have seen you at your weakest - in more ways than one. I know your heart proficiently, and I recognize the purity in your actions. I have faith you are not one to commit such acts of fraudulence."

Hunter blinked. "I…I suppose that's really special, coming from a faerie."

"A faerie who is biased to see your beauty and admire your flaws?"

"What flaws?!" Hunter demanded, his face turning self-conscious.

"Your courage has improved, yet still requires attention. You have yet to mature into a man - as you stated, you are still reliant on guidance from outside sources. You must gain experience leading those you are not fully acquainted with and gain confidence in your skills while still remaining humble as you are. You are still very shy in…"

Fae cut himself off mid-sentence.

"What?" Hunter prodded.

"You would most likely not appreciate my response."

"Go on, Fae. Trust and openness and whatnot, remember?"

"You are very shy…in bed, as you might simplify it."

Hunter blushed. "W-Well I…I-I'm new to it! I'm still a…a  _rookie!_  An amateur!"

"You were quite clearly a virgin during our first night of passion."

" ** _FAE!_**  You didn't have to say it  ** _OUT LOUD!_** "

Hunter buried his blushing face in the pillow while Fae snickered. "I restrained myself for your sake, as human bashfulness is something I feel not."

"Well I was being responsible and not sleeping with anyone until I was considered an adult! I wasn't going to be that irresponsible teen that got some 15-year-old girl pregnant! I wasn't planning on doing anything until I was married, so consider yourself lucky I love you so much!"

"You tried naught with the male sex in your previous years? At the very least, considered such a thing?"

"We're  _not_  having  _the talk_ , Fae! No!"

Fae cocked his head to the side curiously. "There is an official talk you must have?"

"It's a talk that parents give to their kids when they grow old enough, but I'm  _not_  talking about my sex life with you right now!"

Fae frowned. "I  _am_  your sex life, Hunter."

Hunter sulked on his pillow. "I hate you right now."

"Because I speak the truth?"

"Look, if you're so desperate to know, I didn't want to do  _anything_. Never, with no one, I abstained for nineteen years - don't say  _a thing_  about when I technically hit puberty. I looked at a girl here and there, but I was never interested in starting anything. I never thought about my sexuality because I never thought about significant others, period."

"You resisted even-"

"Fae, we are  _not_  going further," Hunter growled.

Fae frowned, genuinely disappointed. "But you are adorable when you become flustered."

Hunter's frown deepened. " _No_."

" _I_  had many suitors as I grew, and I was soon expected to find a hetaera at the very least - for my image. I gained experience simply to appease the public."

"Oh, right, you grew up a prince, right?"

Fae shrugged. "As the child of the Unseelie King, there were those that wished to use me. At first, I resisted to prove my strength, however soon I learned that I made more enemies than I did allies. As such, I learned how to become experienced with both men and woman. The majority of Fair Folk care not for genders."

"And…how many have been serious…before me?"

Fae took a deep breath and thought back. "One. A woman I considered an equal. I considered courting her properly when I learned her true nature, the person beneath the façade. However, my brother was soon thrown to the Wild Hunt, his popularity a threat to my father and my half-brothers."

"So…you only stopped loving her because you were driven apart by circumstances."

"I never stopped loving her, my Hunter, but I have long since moved beyond hope we shall ever meet under proper circumstances once more. I have learned to love her as a former acquaintance and nothing more. Have I detected jealousy in your tone?"

Hunter sulked with his pillow once more. "No. I'm just curious."

"Hunter, I have swore fidelity of the heart and body to you. I will have no other lovers so long as you breathe and long beyond, I suspect."

Hunter looked up. "What happens when I'm gone, Fae? What happens then?"

Fae shrugged. "I am unsure. I fear this…trial we have currently undergone proves I will not easily recover from your loss, however it may occur."

Hunter scooted closer and took Fae's hand, leaning against him. "I don't wanna grow old and be a burden to you. Sure, right now we're both strong enough to just elope, to flee and fight any who would oppose us, but one day it might be you protecting me and me unable to do anything. I'd be nothing but dead weight. I would ruin your life for however long it would continue for."

"That is a risk worth taking. You will never be a burden to me, and even as you grow old, I shall stand by your side, always. I am fully capable of aging with you… _perishing_  with you…or we may find a miracle to keep you by my side for eternity. Only if you would desire me for so long. Such an offer would mean leaving your sister, your parabatai, and anyone else in this generation behind. You would watch humans live and die, again and again. I would not ask that of you."

Hunter rested his head on Fae's shoulder. "If that opportunity ever presented itself, I might consider it. Eternity isn't so bad if you have someone to share it with, right?"

"Eternity is a long time to grow weary of my presence."

"Only one way to find out. Besides, immortality doesn't equate to invincibility. Life could be cut short just as easily."

Fae leaned against Hunter and gripped his hand back. "Your wisdom exceeds mine once more."

Hunter smiled and leaned over to kiss Fae. "No matter what, even if we're cursed or being threatened or there's something at stake, or whatever - can we agree that if we ever try to leave each other without explanation, we'll agree never to give up on this? On  _us?_  I never wanna go through this again, thinking that you actually…that you were actually giving up on me, on our relationship, just because of Selina or something. I'm afraid, Fae, I know you are too, but I'll be brave for your sake, for my own."

"I will do so as well. I agree to your terms. With all my heart, I shall tell you if ever something threatens us and we shall discuss it together."

"Communication is key to a good relationship."

"So I have been informed."

Hunter kissed Fae's cheek before tossing the pillow to the side and then shoving Fae down onto the bed, attacking the faerie's mouth with his own. "You're wearing too much."

"Hunter what are…what are you doing?" Fae sighed, already rendered slightly breathless.

"Working on my confidence."

Fae chuckled before being interrupted by Hunter's mouth and feeling him scrambling to remove Fae's shirt. There was no ripping it off no matter how strong Hunter was since it was made of special material from the Wild Hunt, so Fae saved Hunter the trouble of blindly removing the clothing by pulling it off himself.

"It's  _my_  turn," Hunter whispered.

"You believe you are prepared?"

"After the shit you just put me through, I need some compensation."

"I do hope we do not require such dire circumstances for you to grow this boldness."

"Whatever."

Fae allowed Hunter to kiss him and end the conversation, resisting the strong urge to smile in favor of returning Hunter's kiss. After that, he allowed Hunter to take the lead (although Fae had to subtly guide him once or twice or seven times. Not that anyone was counting. Except Fae. He was sorta counting. Hunter didn't need to know that though).

Fae had never let anyone else have such control before - his pride would never let him. But he had nearly lost Hunter during this recent incident, and he realized now, more than ever, that he never wanted to let Seline have her way. He would prove that this was serious between them, and that he wasn't going to let  _anyone_  take his Hunter away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: "Wake me up" by Avicii


	20. Watch This Madness, Colorful Charade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Promises to post on Christmas*
> 
> …
> 
> *Doesn't post on Christmas*
> 
> I'm so sorry. In my defense, I got the Shadowhunters books - like all of them, but not Queen of Air and Darkness. We had to go get that today. At least I remembered…?
> 
> Forgiven?
> 
> *Squeals* AHHH! We're finally here! *Throws confetti*
> 
> Finally we can get to the part where the actual books come into play in the sequel after this (I based the story off the Dark Artifices and dammit we have to get there somehow!)
> 
> Merry Christmas, all dat jazz. I'm trying to get a Christmas themed chapter for another story up, but since a lot of people are going to be, you know, doing Christmas stuff, hopefully it won't be too much of a loss if I can't get it out in time. Oh well, I'll just make it a New Years thing if I must.
> 
> Double update to finish this story off! Let's do it!
> 
> Enjoy! :)

_Hunter was dreaming._

_He was in a field with Fae, having a picnic. He'd always imagined this as a date between them, maybe in Faerie, maybe in the human world, but it was just the two of them alone together, trying out each other's food._

_I have chosen human-safe food, I assure you," Fae said smiling._

_I've chosen what I_ hope _is faerie-safe food. Do faeries get allergies? Would all the human preservatives make you sick? I don't wanna get you sick! That'd be hard to come up with an excuse for!"_

_Fae laughed. He ate Hunter's food with grace, though he had comments on some of them._

_This tastes of grand sweetness."_

_It's chocolate. You've never had chocolate before?"_

_Fae tilted his head in thought. "Have I? Hmm…"_

_Hunter laughed and licked some chocolate that had been left at the corner of Fae's mouth. "You're adorable."_

_He licked Fae's lips completely clean before finally moving to kiss him properly, the faerie having grown impatient. He was prepared to go further when Fae suddenly pushed him away and looked up behind him, his face full of worry and concern._

_Hunter turned and looked at what Fae was looking at before seeing a dark cloud rolling over the hills of the field they were in, approaching fast. Inside, Hunter could see the shifting of something living - some kind of army._

_The Wild Hunt?" Hunter guessed, dread taking over his mind. "W-What…h-how…?"_

_Fae stood without a word, his eyes locked on the oncoming storm._

_Fae, what's going on?"_

_I must go, my Hunter."_

_Hunter jumped to his feet. "What?! No, Fae, you_ can't!

_I must."_

_Fae, you_ promised _you wouldn't leave me!"_

_This is what I must do."_

_What?!" Hunter snapped. "Fae, stop being a faerie and just tell me!"_

_Fae finally looked down to him, as though he just noticed that Hunter was there, talking to him. "I cannot let them harm you again. I cannot kill you again."_

_Hunter froze. "You've never killed…Fae,_ what _are you_ talking _about?"_

_The faerie cupped his face gently. "You will be fine, Scion."_

_Fae kissed him gently, a sad kiss, one that showed he was saying goodbye. Horror flooded through Hunter's mind, his body reacting instantly and grabbing Fae tightly._

_No! I won't let you go!"_

_That is not your choice to make."_

_Fae pulled back, Hunter finding he was suddenly impossible to hold on to. Fae had transformed into nothing but a fiery silhouette of himself, smiling back at Hunter for the last time. Hunter tried to move, he tried to reach out, but then he was frozen in place, reaching for someone who he couldn't touch anymore. Then, it wasn't Fae that was the silhouette - it was Hunter. His arms passed through Fae, but this time it was Fae who was real and he who was simply an illusion of magic, a glowing red silhouette._

_Fae? Fae! Don't leave me! Please!"_

_Goodbye, my Hunter, my love, the heart of my regard. Live, and do not be sad. May we meet again in the next life."_

_No! Fae! Come back! Please! Don't leave me alone! FAE!"_

_As Fae walked toward the dark cloud that Hunter knew would be his doom, Fae turned his head back one last time. "That is not my name."_

_With that, Fae walked away as Hunter screamed for him, disappearing into the dark cloud as it suddenly flashed and disappeared. It, along with Fae._

_And Hunter was left alone._

- ** _TFOT_** -

Hunter woke up reaching desperately for Fae, but to his surprise he actually felt the warmth of the faerie beside him in bed. He realized that he was clawing at actual flesh and quickly stopped, hugging Fae tightly as he tried to convince himself that he was awake.

"I am never allowing you to dominate me again if it means you shall wake up punching me so," Fae wheezed.

Hunter jumped up. "By the angel, Fae, did I hurt you?! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-!"

"You flailed and punched your arm down across my stomach before scratching my torso and then regaining consciousness to begin squeezing me in what I assume was an embrace. Might I hazard a guess your sleep did not have mercy upon you?"

Hunter sighed and looked to Fae's torso where he had many small cuts that were already healing because of Fae's healing factor.

"I'm sorry. I had a nightmare."

"A type of dream?"

Hunter nodded. "A bad one."

"Dreams are naught but a glamour of the mind. You must worry not, my Hunter."

Hunter snuggled up next to Fae under the duvet. "Dreams are a scary thing, Fae. Sometimes they predict future, sometimes they show you the present, and sometimes they inform you of the past - those you know of and those you may not have. Sometimes, a combination of all three in one big jumbled mess."

Fae kissed Hunter's forehead. "True, dreams may show you truth or they may show you lies. Share with me your mare of the night."

So Hunter did. He shared every detail he could remember.

"The cloud you speak of, the torrent of darkness, may simply be a symbolic representation of another source of fear you hold. The Hunt…though it may hold much peril, I cannot imagine it being so destructive. This forewarned threat appears to be targeting us and us alone. Gwyn cares little for my personal affairs so long as they do not impede my duties, and no fellow Hunter would form a vendetta against me. Only were I to do something so drastic that the entirety of the Hunt pursued me would such an event even be considerable. Never have I encountered this dangerous storm of which you dream. The only army I've met was my own - my father's rather. They are ruthless to be sure, but my father knows not of you, nor will I allow him to in the future."

"Whatever you were doing, you seemed convinced that you had to go, that you were the only one that could stop them. And you did. You walked in and everything vanished. You said you couldn't let them harm me again, then you said…you said you couldn't kill me again."

"I could only assume it means we have met in a former life."

"Is that even possible?"

"For faeries, entirely. For a Shadowhunter…only the Astrals might be capable of such a feat."

"You think I'm an Astral?"

"I believe you are blessed by one, but  _which_ , I cannot say. Only certain Astrals may control rebirth. Unless you are an Astral yourself, one dear to your heart must have brought you into their life. If you were a Shadowhunter in your former life, it is likely you would be born one again." Fae looked to his hand. "Perhaps  _I_  did it. However that raises many questions. How did I kill you,  _why?_  If I loved you so much as to grant you the gift of rebirth."

"You're an Astral?"

"So I've been told. I've held great power throughout my life, but nothing celestial. I have grown a faerie. My body is no stronger than one, my magic average or… _sub par_  - as Wolf might put it - and I possess no memories beyond my current life's. If I  _am_  an Astral, I am a broken one."

Hunter hugged Fae tightly. "Maybe you just need a little time. To get all your Astral-y powers back."

"Or perhaps I am simply deluding myself, my informants having misjudged my status. Perhaps I am simply a faerie that has false dreams of grandeur."

Hunter leaned in to kiss Fae. "Whatever you are, you're a deity to me."

Fae smiled gently. "Your sentiments are appreciated."

Hunter gave a small smile and then sighed as he leaned against Fae. "Hey, Fae?"

"That is I."

Hunter snickered before leaning his head on Fae's shoulder. "Does the name 'Scion' mean anything to you?"

Fae's eyes moved up and away as he thought, before they returned to Hunter. "Not to my knowledge. Perhaps once I have met a Scion in the past, yet I fail to recall if such a name was of import. What might it mean to you, my Hunter?"

' ** _It's my last name._** ' "You called me Scion in the dream. But Scion isn't my name."

"Perhaps it was your former title, in your former life - should we be correct in assuming you have been reborn by an Astral's will."

Hunter nodded. "Right."

' ** _But why would my former_** **first** ** _name be my current_** **last?** ** _Coincidence? Translation error? But the Scion family has had multiple generations. Then again, I don't know a lot about how rebirth works. Maybe I was once called Scion, but as the generations went by, it got confused as a last name? Or someone of my family took up the title of Scion to honor the former me in some way. Who knows?_** '

"Is there any way for me to remember my past life or lives?"

"Not unless you meet the Astral who touched your soul to grant you rebirth and they are benevolent enough to allow you such. Rebirth is complex, even I know little of it. I do not know if a person's soul retains past memories as it is reborn, or if they must be cleansed to create a…fresh palate."

Hunter hummed in acknowledgement, more questions swirling through his mind than ever before.

- ** _TFOT_** -

"So what's this about a curse?" Hunter asked.

"From what I've gathered, someone put a curse on you, Hunter, so that you'd carry it like a rat to Fae," Lock informed them. "The moment you two came into contact with each other, both of you were affected in different ways. Hunter's natural frustration finally came spilling out, and Fae's worry about your relationship exploded ten-fold, but apparently it was more than just about Hunter. Fae told me that the only reason he snapped out of his… _affected state_  was when his brother punched him, knowing that what he was saying wasn't  _him_  at all."

"So…when it doubt, punch the problem in the face?" Hunter summarized.

"He refrained from the breaking of my nose," Fae shrugged.

"But it proves that  _all_  of Fae's stress and frustration over his entire life - especially his more current events - were meant to be released, not just things about your relationship, Lock continued. "Whoever did this, they wanted Fae to ruin more than just your relationship, they wanted him to ruin his  _life_. Someone tried to  _sabotage_  you, do you understand?"

"But who would do such a thing?" Hunter asked.

"Well, how many people know of you two in your regular life? You sure someone didn't overhear you talking, or maybe someone asked about the meeting grounds?"

"No one! I haven't told…"

Fae raised an eyebrow. "You know of someone you've informed of us?"

"The only person that figured it out was Selina."

Fae scowled. "Seline,  _of course_. As I suspected."

"No…no Selina's a Shadowhunter. She doesn't have magic, she's not some faerie Astral and…she'd never do this to me. She…she's  _supported_  us when she figured it out."

"A façade, nothing more. I learned of her treachery yet never saw her utilize such dark methods before."

"Hey, hold on a second!  _What_  are you talking about? Treachery?"

"My sources tell me Selina Dalmasca is most likely an Astral called Seline - a Lunarian of the moon and a woman with a personal vendetta against me and all I hold dear."

Lock stepped forward. "Fae-"

"What  _sources?_ " Hunter interrupted. "Selina is a  _Shadowhunter_ , she has been all her life!"

"Hunter-" Lock tried again, but was cut off by Fae

"Rebirth, my Hunter. A simple weaving of magic and an Astral can be reborn a human, any species they desire. Though a Shadowhunter is unique to be sure, it is entirely possible. I surmise Seline has calculated her rebirth specifically to interfere with our relationship."

Hunter's face twisted as he got frustrated thinking about everything Fae was saying. "Okay, first, why the hell would she have a vendetta against  _you?_  Second, who the hell told you all this and why do you believe them? Third, how would she predict 20 years of my life just so that she could grow up a Shadowhunter best friend or whatever?"

"The cause of Seline's vendetta is beyond even I. As for my sources, they are Astrals, Draco-Infernians. They have told me all they know of the infamous Lunarian called Seline, that she wishes for my downfall and always has, that she is capable of becoming a Shadowhunter - through rebirth or simply trickery, and that she possesses prophetic powers, as the moon is said to."

"S-So…how are you associated with all of these Astrals anyway? Aren't they supposed to be rare or hidden or something?"

"Many encounters are mere happenstance, however I had little care for Selina even before this knowledge came to me."

Hunter gritted his teeth. "You could've  _told_  me you didn't want her around, you know. As you can see, I'm kinda oblivious as to when someone's jealous over me, and I'm never sure about how you feel unless you actually  _tell_  me."

"Have many been jealous over you?"

He shrugged. "No. But if you didn't like Selina, you could've just made me not bring her to the meeting grounds."

"I did not wish to separate you and your parabatai. I have not that right, to make you choose your loyalties."

He took Fae's hand. "I don't wanna choose, sure, but that doesn't mean you should be unwilling to ask me things. Communication is a good thing. Look, she's not gonna come between us, I promise. No matter what happens."

"She nearly did already. How could I have been so foolish?"

"We don't  _know_  that this is Selina."

"Yes, I am fully confident she is at fault."

Hunter frowned. "Lock?"

He jumped, having been deep in thought. "I-I'd have to do a thorough examination to tell if she matches the energy signature that I sensed from both of you during the incident. A-And if she has a way to cloak her powers so that she comes off as nothing but a Shadowhunter…well, there's no definitive proof either way."

Hunter's head fell. "Look, Selina's my best friend. I'll ask her and she'll tell me."

"Or she could erase your memories, or she could lie to you, or she could put another curse on  _you_  that cannot be fixed by simply punching you in the face," Fae pointed out.

"Look, I believe in Selina, I've known her for a long time. Whoever she really is or isn't, at least give her the benefit of the doubt. Let's look before we leap to conclusions."

Fae and Lock shared a cautious glance.

"We shall support you in your endeavor, my Hunter," Fae said.

"We'll restrain you should you become cursed or we think you're acting out of character," Lock added. "Then I'll see if I can reverse what's happened."

"I shall punch you like my brother did for I," Fae volunteered. "Let us hope that is all we must do."

"Thanks…?" Hunter said questioningly.

Fae nodded. "It is my pleasure."

- ** _TFOT_** -

" _What_  did you  _do_  to Fae?" Finn demanded as lightly as he could.

"Nice to see you too, Finn. Yeah, I had a great mission without you, got covered in ichor, the demon split in two when I sliced it in half - I had to shove my witchlight in one and then draw an explosion rune on a piece of paper to handle the other. But yeah, what's up with you?"

"Lock told me that Fae had been possessed by some spell or something that made him paranoid and nearly destroy his life, and Fae says that it was you. Merida's not here anymore, and the only other person that knows about us is you, so what the hell?"

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "What did he say about me? Look, I'm sorry if we haven't gotten along very well, but I'm-"

" _Selina_."

She sighed and closed her eyes. "Selina's not here. My name is Seline, shouldn't be too much of a stretch for you, right?"

"So you  _are_  Seline. A whatever of the moon."

"A  _Lunarian_  of the moon, Astral of the moon, take your pick."

"Who are you? Why are you against me and Fae? What the hell was that curse? What did you do to my parabatai?"

She met his eyes. "First off, I  _am_  your parabatai. Selina Dalmasca and I are one and the same, barring a few minor details."

"What details?"

"She is a Shadowhunter, I am an Astral. I've always been inside her, she has never fully been her own person, but at the same time, sometimes I leave her on auto-pilot, and that is the Selina Dalmasca you know and love. As for my story, I'm surprised Lock didn't tell you already."

"Lock? He  _knew_  about you?"

"Only recently did I tell him. Don't blame him, I requested that he keep this a secret."

"So what are you? Why are you doing this?"

She set down a pen that she had been writing up her mission report with. "Sit down." He did so. "Long ago, I met a Shadowhunter."

"What does this have to do with anything-?"

"Shut up and listen or you won't get anything at all."

He was silent.

"Thank you. Now as I was saying, there was once a Shadowhunter that I met. He was kind and selfless and everything that I wasn't. The reason I took interest in this particular Shadowhunter was because he had fallen in love with an Astral - specifically, an Astral that I had once loved but it didn't work out. I was angry, so I went to that Shadowhunter and told him every gruesome detail about his Astral love that I could so that I could dissuade him from loving my ex, a revenge of sorts. I'd done it dozens of times, played my words to my advantage and ruined my ex's love life for good. But this Shadowhunter? He just smiled at me. He told me that I was just lost, no purpose, and I was afraid. I was self conscious about myself, why I had been rejected, and if I could ever be loved. So I was lashing out, using revenge against my ex as a reason to go on. This Shadowhunter knew me better than I knew myself."

"And that Shadowhunter…that was  _me?_ "

She nodded. "Smart one, aren't you? Yes, it was you. In your past life. You and the Astral, my ex, you both died because you were together. I couldn't help but think that if something had been different, if I had managed to convince you that being with him wasn't right, what if I could've saved you? Then you were both reborn. I'm still lost, Finn. I don't know what I am, what I want in my immortal life as an Astral. I just want you safe. I thought that breaking the two of you up would make me happy, but it hasn't. I was satisfied for a few minutes, but then I saw how depressed you were, how broken I'd made you, and I began to reconsider. What am I, Finn? What am I supposed to do if I've lost my purpose?"

Finn looked down. "Selina…"

" _Seline_."

"Selina, Seline, what difference does it make?"

"An entire syllable in difference."

For some reason, Finn found himself smiling. When he looked up, Selina was smiling too. The two broke out into laughter for no reason at all. It was a laughter that was shared by best friends, by parabatai, by two people who had known each other for nearly all of their lives and could just laugh together when they were feeling down.

Selina tapped her neck where her parabatai rune was. "This is what I grew to love. This bond between you and I and no one else. You're one of a kind, Finnegan. I don't wanna lose you. We were lucky this time, when you were reborn. I'd turn you into a constellation if it meant I'd be able to keep you forever."

"You can do that?"

She nodded. "You know of Orion, right?"

He nodded. "That was Artemis who made him into a constellation, right? From the Greek pantheon? You know her?"

"She's a Lunarian too. Duh, goddess of the moon? Also virginity and all around badass-ness as a hunter, but yeah, I know her. She's still out there, doing what she does."

"And what's that?"

She shrugged. "Whatever the flip she  _wants_. We're gods, we've got time on our hands."

Finn sat back in his seat. "Wow…that's…wow."

She sighed and stretched in her seat before collapsing in it. "You don't know how nice it is to have that all out in the open."

"I have a lot of questions that I need to ask you, if you don't mind."

"Sure. Shoot."

"There was this dream that I had…"

- ** _TFOT_** -

"You were called Scion and Phoenix walked into the cloud of destruction for you? I know that Phoenix killed you before, but  _again?_  As in, a second time?" Selina sighed. "This is exactly what I was afraid of. You two keep dying for each other."

"I'd die whether or not I was with him, Seels. What did it mean, though? If that cloud of darkness wasn't the Wild Hunt, then what was it? And why did he call me Scion?"

"That was what you were known as to Phoenix back when you first met and loved each other."

"Scion?"

"You ran away from home because your family life had gotten so bad that you broke. Back in your old life, you loved music and singing just like you do now. But your parents took you to a warlock to take your voice and you music skill away. It was pure hell for you, so you ran to that warlock and begged for his help. You knew that he would help you, you knew that he was a good person despite him being a warlock and you being a Shadowhunter. He helped you and then he told you to run. He never gave away where you were or that he'd helped you - because then he would get in trouble too."

"Is this warlock still alive? Maybe I can ask him some questions too."

"You've already met him. You call him 'Lock.'"

Finn blinked. " _Lock?!_ "

- ** _TFOT_** -

"You  _knew!_ " Hunter shouted. "You knew what I was!  _Who_  I was! Who Selina was! Everything!"

Lock held his hands up in defense. "Hey! Don't get angry, Hunt! Come on, there was no harm in it all, right?!"

"You pretended not to know who Selina was after she cursed us."

"I tried to tell you, but you two kept interrupting me. Plus, it was  _her_  decision to reveal who she was and what she did. I was gonna confront her about it, but I guess Fae has his own sources."

Hunter sighed and sat down on a pillow in the meeting grounds. "I want answers, Lock. I deserve that much. You have some explaining to do."

Lock sighed and waved a cozy chair underneath him as he flopped into a seat. He waved his hand and a couch appeared. Hunter stood and laid down.

"Where to start? Okay, so I've been the High Warlock of Frisco for a while now, and I've had a passive aggressive relationship with the Shadowhunter Institute. One day, this family of Shadowhunters came to me, and a mother and a father demanded I take away their son's ability to play music or sing. I didn't like it, but they threatened to report that I'd attacked them and kill me. I wasn't afraid of them, but I saw that kid and I knew that it was either me or some other warlock, one that might not be as merciful. So I took a room privately and I told him that he had to pretend. If he pretended, he would be given more freedom. Once he was given more freedom, he could come to me and I'd give him his life back. His parents wouldn't have any authority over him once he became a respected Shadowhunter, once he had the power to be their superiors. He wasn't a brave kid, but he understood that he didn't have a lot of options."

"You took his voice?"

"And his ability to enjoy music itself. He couldn't feel rhythm, he couldn't play instruments. It was a nightmare for him. Anyway, one day, he came banging on my door, and when I gave him his voice back, he told me that he'd run, that he needed my help. I gave him back his musical powers, I gave him everything that I could, before I told him to run. Maybe I should've kept him with me, but some Shadowhunters arrived on my doorstep the next day and demanded his location, but I really didn't know it because I'd just told him to run. After that, it was easy for me to act like he'd never been there in the first place."

"So that's it? You never saw me again?"

"I saw you once more. You came back to me, told me he story of how you met Phoenix and he took you in. Then he told me that he was going to a big fight and he needed some supplies."

"What fight?"

Lock shook his head. "He wouldn't say. But whatever it was, he didn't come back from it."

Hunter frowned. "Thanks, Lock. Oh, I almost forgot. I was called Scion back then, wasn't I?"

"Well, that's what Phoenix knew you as. When you first met, you didn't want to give your real name, so you used your last name in a panic at what to call yourself. You had a sister back then, just like you have now, and she continued the Scion family line. Which reminds me, I might as well see if I still have it…"

Lock waved his hand and summoned a box into his lap. It looked old, victorian age, and he opened it to reveal a ton of miscellaneous items. He dug through it for a few minutes, muttering things to himself, before he pulled something out triumphantly.

"Ah ha!"

"What?" Hunter asked.

Lock waved the box away and held out what was in his hand - a silver ring with graceful carvings of angelic feathers all around it. Lock tossed it over and Hunter instantly recognized it as a Scion family ring. He slipped it on his middle finger and, courtesy of the enchantment, it automatically fit.

"Where did you-?"

"Scion gave it to me when he ran away. He was cutting off the ties to his family, asked me to hold onto it for when he got back. He never returned, so…I've had it all this time. It's yours now. You know, Scion, among other things, means the descendant of a notable family. I'd say that your family is pretty notable to me."

"I…thanks, Lock."

"No prob, Hunt. Scion turned out fine in the end, but I think that you're already doing better than he was when it came to being a Shadowhunter. Go and kick ass, be the best Shadowhunter out there, the Shadowhunter that the rest of us know you are."

Hunter smiled and nodded. "I will."

* * *

Selina walked up to the Adamant Citadel.

Oh how pretty the home of the Iron Sisters was. Too bad Finnegan had to miss out on this just because he was a boy. It was sexist, but the boys had the Silent Brothers, so it was fair, right? That was what the Shadowhunters must've told themselves.

The Iron Sisters, with their magical outfits, appeared around Selina, orange glowing eyes all traced on her.

"Shadowhunter, what business have you here?" a voice demanded.

Selina let her eyes flash a lavender purple. "Peace, little girls. Wouldn't want you to hurt yourselves."

There was a murmur across the women before one of the Sisters finally spoke up. "Lunarian Seline, what business have you here?"

Selina smiled. "Finally, someone who knows what they're doing. Don't worry, ladies, I come in peace. I'm here for my parabatai, actually."

"Stand down, Sisters." One of the Iron Sisters stepped forward while the others dropped their weapons and stood at attention. "I am Sister Celestia. Seline, we will welcome you on the condition that there be no harm to any of my Sisters or I."

"I'm not here for a fight, honestly. Like I said, I'm here for my parabatai, Hunter Scion. We have a… _special_ request for a weapon."

Sister Celestia raised an eyebrow. "What kind of weapon?"

- ** _TFOT_** -

"So, you've got it?" Hunter asked eagerly.

Seline held out the rectangular weapon case. "As promised. A one-of-a-kind Shadowhunter weapon built and blessed by an Astral, fresh from the Iron Sisters."

Hunter took it eagerly and set it in his desk. He popped open the latches and smiled when he saw the instrument inside. It was a seraph violin, carved from adamas perfectly and infused with the power of his family angel - Mael. The bow was also made from adamas, the hair for the strings was Seline's: indestructible and great for music. Hunter pulled out the bow first, flicking it. The angelic runes on it flashed before it expanded into a full-sized actual bow. Hunter pulled back the string and an arrow automatically flashed into existence. He willed it to become three arrows and it did. He released the bow and the three arrows disappeared. He flicked the bow back into an instrument sized one and grabbed the violin. He started to play a melody, a simple tune that he'd taught himself long ago, and he felt as though he could sense the entire room, ready to be controlled. He let his mind follow the tune and started to move slightly to the slow rhythm, causing objects to float and move at his mental command. He returned them all back to their positions and then opened his eyes, unaware he'd closed them.

"It's  _perfect_ , Seels!"

"Well get ready, cuz the higher ups wanna see if its a viable weapon. But trust me, even if they mass produce these, they'll never be as special as yours. Yours is blessed by an angel  _and_  an Astral."

Hunter returned the instrument to its case. "You think my dad will be angry at me for making a scene?"

"He will be if you embarrass yourself." She paused and thought. " _And_  if you draw attention, in general, I suppose. Hunter…your dad…" She sighed. "Nevermind. He's just a big ass sometimes, okay?"

Hunter chuckled. "You don't need to tell me twice. Look, we'll go get it approved by the Clave and then we can have our fun. Then, I can be  _more_  than my father. I won't need his permission for anything, and if he's got a problem with me, he'll have to eat adamas."

She laughed. "Good to know  _something_  good came out of all this."

"Great. Now let's go kick ass and make a name for ourselves."

- ** _TFOT_** -

"I'm gonna kick his ass.  _One day_."

"Oh, don't be stuck up about that one Clave dude," Selina said. "They have to admit that they were impressed. You're an unstoppable force! Trust me, you're going places."

He sighed. "Let's just hope that my dad doesn't blow up about this."

- ** _TFOT_** -

"He blew up about it?" Selina asked.

"I am  _so_  tired of him!" Hunter snapped, throwing his seraph violin on his bed. The thing was practically indestructible, so there was no worry about breaking it, but still. Hunter was used to delicate instruments. A seraph violin had never been seen before, after all. "Why does he never approve of  _anything_  I do?  _What_  is the bug up his butt?!"

Selina shrugged. "Who can say? Literally  _no_  one can say they understand your dad. Look, it'll get better. You're just changing too fast for him to keep up with, and if he's got a problem with that, he can shove it."

Hunter took a deep breath. "Right, right. Keep the spirits up. So, you wanna go get some ice cream?"

- ** _TFOT_** -

"He's up to something, I know it," Selina muttered. "Hunter's father is like a glowing beacon of trouble."

"So I've come up with a couple potions and spells that might help," Lock said.

He passed over a book and a couple of beakers.

Selina sighed. "I don't know, Lock. I've been alive for a long time, and I'm sure that plenty of warlocks have tried to come up with a solution before."

"Well maybe they just weren't looking at things the right way before. Running head first into a battle with destruction and mayhem isn't always the best option. The samples of the curse you gave me are limited, but that's be be expected. In any case, I just had to do a little magic and some science to give you these. Now, I've been meaning to ask, do you Astrals think that you could develop an immunity if given a vaccine?"

"We tried that before. There are some that wanted to take that risk and be the first that were immune, go down in Astral history, but it never worked. I'm not eager to try myself, this is a high threat level that even the big guys are worried about. I  _can_  say that no other creature besides an Astral has ever been seen with the Scourge, at least to our knowledge."

Lock put a hand to his chin. "Interesting. So we need to find what specifically makes you Astrals prone to the virus, and what can fight back against it. These are the preliminary tests right here. Though the samples you gave me weren't completely fresh - since I doubt that's really possible - I think that I'm on the right track. I just need to find which way we need to go to  _fight_  the virus rather than walk  _away_  from the solution. What about Hunter's pops? Get anything from him?"

She smiled. "As a matter of fact, Hunter and him had a falling out recently, and so I had an excuse to blow up with rage and get some samples." She passed over a bunch of hair samples, blood samples, and skin samples - all neatly labeled and organized in jars. "You have to be quick. If he figures out what I'm doing, he'll eliminate the evidence."

"He can do that?"

"Why do you think us Astrals -  _literal_  gods that are on par with Raziel - have failed to stop this? Come to think of it, they might go after Raziel's blood soon enough. Once they do that-"

"All the Nephilim will be at risk."

"I'm really close to him right now, I've never been more terrified in my life. What if he already knows about me? What if I'm already infected and I'll slowly lose my mind?"

"Hey, it's gonna be fine." Lock gave her a smile. "And if it's not, I'm  _sure_  I can figure something out. When in doubt, just start throwing every potion you have, right?"

She sighed and smiled. "When in doubt."

- ** _TFOT_** -

"Here, give it to your dad," Selina smiled. "I think it'll get back at him  _just_  fine."

"This isn't some Astral prank where he gets killed and then brought back to life, ' _For funsies_ ,' is it?" Hunter muttered.

"Of  _course_  not. I know my limits, parabro. I've been doing this for a while, after all."

Hunter slipped the vial into his bag. "I'll give it to him  _after_  we finish this mission. I've already gotten a good name for myself and I don't need it ruined now."

"Your seraph violin is too powerful for anyone who dares to oppose you. Don't start doubting yourself now."

"Being cautious is how we survive in this world, Seels."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm just fired up! Finally we're getting out of that Institute and into the real world."

"If only Mer were here with us."

"Next time we see her, she'll be a Centurion. Gotta keep up with her, right?"

He sighed. "I guess. So, what was this prank you had in mind?"

- ** _TFOT_** -

"I supposed we may have pushed it a little too far."

"We're grown adults. We can do what we want. Besides, your step-mom seemed pretty impartial about it."

"She's impartial about  _everything_. Dad's still probably recovering from that powder bomb. What was even  _in_ that stuff? Every spice in existence?"

She shrugged. "Probably. I asked Lock to cook me up something mean that was still safe and he handed me that."

"You've been hanging out with him a lot lately."

She gave him a deadpan expression. "He's the only other immortal I can tolerate. No offense to all your other friends, but Phoenix and I have never gotten along and your vamp girl isn't my type."

"So Lock  _is?_ "

She shrugged. "He's the oldest one I know. I could go talk to Magnus, but he's got business and stuff - a family, a big role in the Shadowhunter-Downworlder alliance thing. He doesn't have time for a party or a friend like me dropping by without good reason. Any other immortal, or at least old person who looks young, is either boring as hell or takes things too seriously. There aren't a lot of options for friends in this world."

"Well, I'll always be here too, if you need me."

She smiled. "I wanna spend all the time with you I can, and hopefully prevent you from dying again - this time for good."

"Can't you just see me even after death? I mean, I'd assume you gods are powerful enough."

She shook her head. "We have certain domains. Unless you're friends with some of the death guys, you have to keep to the world of the living. I'm a goddess of the moon. I don't have too many ties to the Underworld beyond being in the night sky - the time where the darkness is at its peak, where the sun is said to be killed or chased by me. Or my fellow Lunarians, of course. There are many legends, many Astrals of a certain type because of all those different legends."

"Well there are some legends where even  _mortals_  just walk right into the Underworld."

"Mortals are special. And when Astrals  _do_  go down there, they better hope to the gods that they meet a benevolent death god - the Morticians."

"Morticians? Like an undertaker? That's a real word, you know."

She rolled her eyes. "Mor- _tee_ -cians. Say it with an accent. It's based off the Latin word for death - Morte. Since English is a Latin-based language, that's what the word translates to. I know that you humans think you're so below us, but guess what? We evolve just like you do, and when you created Latin,  _we_  adopted it too, as well as all the subsequent languages."

"Faerie is so much more interesting than use Nephilim. You guys have got a ton of freaking  _gods_."

She chuckled. "Well, we have our own problems."

"What kind of problems?"

"We suffer from boredom occasionally, same as any immortal. We have our enemies too. There are mortals and faeries and whatnot that don't like us gods and/or want our power for themselves. Sometimes you don't have to be more powerful than an enemy - you just have to outwit them with a special skill. Just like your seraph violin."

He chuckled. "Well, that's true. But you're safe with me. I'll destroy anyone that threatens my parabatai."

"What about Fae?"

"He'll come around to you. Whatever feud you two have in the past, it's going to end with me, right here, right now. Which means, no more antagonizing him, if you would."

She nodded. "I'll try my best. For your sake."

- ** _TFOT_** -

"Hunter, have you your wits about you?" Fae demanded.

"What?" Hunter asked in confusion. He thought back to the last time that he'd seen Fae. " _Oh!_  I confronted Selina about everything and there's no need to worry. You see-"

He proceeded to catch Fae up on all that had happened.

"It has been merely a day for I," Fae informed him.

"Oh, right. Time is wonky in Faerie. Well, you should know that it's thanks to you that I have embraced who I am. I'm making a name for myself as a Shadowhunter."

Fae blinked. "I see…and you worry not that this attention poses a grave danger?"

"I know, Fae, I'm careful. But I just feel so much  _better_  now! I'm not afraid of myself or how others see me. I'm finally  _me_ , and I'm powerful enough to do whatever I want."

"You have cut off ties from your father."

Hunter rubbed his arm. "We're not talking, but it's not like we ever did much of that before. I lost my parents a long time ago, I'm used to it. What about you? Have any luck with your Astral powers?"

He shook his head. "Such a feat is not so simple. I have worked to improve my magic skills, yet that has gotten me very little progress. To unlock Astral memories is not a process I'm familiar with."

"What if we ask Selina?"

Fae raised an eyebrow. "The wench who is responsible for only memories of destruction, who holds a grudge against me to this day for reasons I cannot comprehend, only speculate?"

"Well, I was  _gonna_  say my parabatai who I've worked out that whole issue about you and I with and who is willing to do anything for me if I tell her to, especially if it means we can restore our relations together. If I can bring you two together, it's better  _sooner_  than later. I don't think I can stand this feud much longer."

Fae stared at him for a long moment before sighing. "I shall do my utmost in order to cooperate with her."

Hunter nodded. "Then it's decided."

- ** _TFOT_** -

"Let's get things straight," Selina said firmly. "I'm doing this for the sake of Hunter and no one else. I am  _not_  helping you out of the kindness of my heart."

"I will not be your subordinate in this agreement," Fae demanded. "We are to be comrades, and we must not upset Hunter's approval of this arrangement. Take this oath as a faerie would, not as a Shadowhunter."

"A Shadowhunter can lie, you mean?"

He nodded. "Do not play your ability to your advantage. I am not to be your lesser, bowing to you like you are my superior simply because I bow to Hunter's will."

She smirked. "I hear he's got your true name under his belt."

Fae's fists clenched as his rage built. "Your point?"

She shrugged. "Don't worry. We unlock the Astral in you and he won't have it anymore. The true name of an Astral, especially one as old as you, would be too much for any mortal to handle. It'll hit him hard, but the faster the transition, the less time he'll be out of commission. I'll make sure he survives."

"I am very old?"

She nodded. "You're a third gen, even older than me, but only just."

"What is a 'third gen?'"

She sighed, waving her hand passively. "You'll find out when you get your memories back. Explaining it all would be too much trouble when you're just gonna remember at the end of this anyway. Suffice to say, it means that there aren't many that are more powerful than you are."

Fae thought back to the memories that he'd unlocked. "Does the name 'Falorios' strike you as familiar?"

She looked up to him. "I think so. A Lepidopterian - basically a moth god. Why?"

"I remember him; ' _Twelfth son of the Lepidopterians_ ,' he called himself."

"The twelfth son means that he's a twelfth generation - like how I called you a third gen."

"He seemed to hold a grudge against me, though I fail to recall the reason."

She rolled her eyes. "A  _lot_  of people have grudges against you. Then again…I suppose he had a particularly nasty one. I think I tried to get dirt on you from him once. He knew you before you were an Astral, I think."

" _Before_  I was an Astral?"

"All Astrals are made from creatures that were once normal. Most of the time we make them from humans since they have the highest potential, but that isn't always the case. Sometimes a bug gets upgraded into an Astral if they're worthy, a dog, a bear, a rodent, whatever. Worthiness is everything. Even if someone or something wants to make an Astral, the subject has to be worthy or the ascension won't work. You were deemed worthy to be an Astral, though I won't claim to know why. Your sire - the person who made you into an Astral - she's someone that we don't question, aloud at least. You and Falorios were made around the same time, in Astral terms anyway. There was probably a small grace period between the transformation, a decade or so. Whatever made Falorios hate you so much happened in your real life, and if your real self is anything like the you that  _I_  knew, I'd think that when you were human you would've been even worse."

"Why would such a memory come back to me?"

"He must be important or something. Look, you're supposed to have gotten your memories back after rebirth a while ago. We can't stay human for long, there's too much power in the Astrals to be contained in a puny human form for more than a couple decades. Maybe there's something special about how you died. Maybe there's been something interfering in your current life."

"Growing up with my father, there are many reasons he would stunt my development for his own amusement."

Selina froze in thought. "You're the son of the Unseelie King."

Fae probably should've been surprised that she knew, but Selina  _was_  an Astral. Her knowledge was no longer his concern. "Yes."

"He's an honest but brutal man, and what if he found out what you are? What if he  _knows_  that you're Phoenix and he's done something to take your memories or your powers, or something like that?"

"Would he be capable of such?"

"Only with the help of another Astral at your rank or above. Can you tell me the name of every sibling you have?"

Fae listed off the more important names first and then the ones that he recalled with little detail. He knew all of his brothers' names, at least the ones that had been present when he was last in the Court. His father could very easily have another ten or twenty without Fae's knowledge.

"Who stuck out to you? Who played a big part in your life, for better or worse?"

"My elder sister, Hilda, was my mentor, though she failed quite terrifically at the role. It can be said that she shaped me into who I am now. My brothers were always important to my life, though for worse more than better. Adaon was the only brother that treated me with kindness - or at the very least, not cruelty."

"I need to meet them. If even one or  _both_  of them were Astrals, they could've been influencing your life for a reason. Whatever that reason is, it's prevented you from gaining your powers and memories back - preventing you from releasing Phoenix. And with Phoenix hostage, we don't know  _what_  havoc can come of it."

"Was Phoenix powerful?"

She scoffed. "Dangerously so. As a third gen, you're powerful all right. You think I could meet your siblings soon?"

"As a Shadowhunter? No. I am forbidden to speak to my brother and sister, and you are not in any position to request an audience."

"What if I can sneak in as Seline?"

"Have you access to your abilities?"

"Wherever the moonlight shines, I can go. Give me your memories of them so I can identify them."

She held out her hand, but Fae looked at it skeptically. "I would prefer not to do so."

She rolled her eyes. "Just summon an image of their faces and hold it in your mind. It'll only take a moment. Scout's honor, I'll only take their faces, nothing more."

He looked at her hand reluctantly, moving his gaze up to her eyes and then back down to her outstretched palm. He gently raised his hand, hesitating a moment more, before closing his eyes and summoning a memory of his brother Adaon and his sister Hilda. He took Selina's hand and felt a small shock, like he'd just touched a piece of metal after being given a small electric charge.

"There, see? I took nothing more than the memory. Hm…there doesn't seem to be anything off at first glance, but I'll have to meet them to tell. I'll be back."

"Halt! Spare a moment to inform me of what I will tell-"

Selina disappeared in a flash.

"-Hunter," Fae sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: "Just Like Fire" by P!nk


	21. I Can't Hear the Sound of Your Heartbeat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second part of a double update and the last chapter!
> 
> *Imitates crowd screaming*
> 
> Oh, how cheesy of a story this has been. This has genuinely been a story where I'm barfing my ideas onto the paper, but I love my characters and can't wait to get to the part where, you know, I actually BASED THIS ENTIRE STORY OFF OF! Seriously, the whole three or four scenes that I wrote down are still in my Google Drive waiting to be used. Like, really, this entire story turned into a background thing. Go figure, this is the best example of my rambling in existence.
> 
> So yeah.
> 
> Enjoy and join me for the sequel if you dare.
> 
> :P

"That was  _terrible_ ," Pyre snapped.

"Well it's not  _my_  fault!" Wolf whined indignantly.

"This was the  _worst_  first date I've ever been on, and I'm over a hundred years old!"

"I didn't  _know_  that I was being followed! How was  _I_  supposed to know that we would both have our friends trailing us before they got into a fight?"

"Sounds bad, guys, but we've got more important-"

"Not  _now_ , Lock!" they both snapped together.

The warlock was silenced.

"This is  _all_  your fault!"

"It's  _your_  fault, oh mighty vampire who couldn't even tell that, like, ten of her friends were following her!"

"Says the wolf who should've been able to tell he was being tracked! I thought you had amazing senses, or something. Didn't you have a dog's nose or something that can track a scent from miles away?"

"If I'm fully  _transformed_ , sure, but maybe I just wanted a nice and calm night out without having to worry about fighting and being on edge!"

"Did anyone get hurt?" Hunter asked.

They looked at him, looked at each other, and then huffed in opposite directions.

"As if. They argued at first, before they started bonding over embarrassing  _us_ ," Wolf muttered.

"They acted all innocent, like ' _We're_ totally  _just worried about you_ ,' and then they started  _enjoying_ themselves," Pyre agreed. "On  _our_  date!" She growled and bared her fangs. "I  _swear_  I'm gonna  _kill_  them  _again_  when I get back to that hotel!"

Fae and Hunter exchanged a glance. They were going to attempt to tell the group of everything that had been happening - including their relationship - but it wasn't really going as planned.

Maybe next time.

* * *

"An envoy from the Unseelie Court is coming within the fortnight," Gwyn informed Fionn calmly.

"I assume that is far from the only reason you have called me to this meeting alone?" Fionn asked.

"It is Iarlath."

Fionn tensed. Iarlath had been one of the faeries that had allied himself with Sebastian Morgenstern during the Dark War. Fionn had never trusted Iarlath, but as the right hand man to his father, Fionn was unable to express his concerns, let alone act upon them.

"Why would he come to the Hunt?"

Gwyn handed him a folder with the official seal of the Unseelie Court on the front. "There has been a string of mysterious killings of faeries recently. These are images given by those who witnessed the markings inscribed on the bodies before they crumbled to ashes."

Fionn took the folder and opened it, spreading out drawn pictures of victims as well as extra notes taken by the Court investigators. There were sketches from professionals trying to piece together the situation, as well as papers depicting the scenes themselves.

"Demonic markings," Fionn recognized on one of the papers. "An ancient language, from a time when the fey were more connected to our demonic genes."

"The scholars of the Court managed only to translate the first line before the Unseelie King forbade them from continuing, afraid of the power they could awaken."

"My father,  _afraid_ …" Fionn ran his hands over the images of the markings. "For good reason. Such magic is very dark. I dare not recite this language aloud."

Gwyn noticed a look in Fionn's eyes and leaned forward. "You can translate these markings?"

Fionn blinked, as though coming out of a daze he hadn't been aware that he'd fallen into. "I…" Fionn looked at the images again, but saw nothing that he could read no matter how hard he concentrated. There were just symbols. "No. I can read naught on these pages."

Fionn returned the papers to their folder and returned it to Gwyn. "That is a great disappointment."

"Why is this information revealed to I?"

"Iarlath has requested your assistance in this case."

Fionn blinked in surprise. "Me?"

"Particularly, Miach."

"I would presume Iarlath would want little with the Blackthorn boy."

"Iarlath has a very dangerous plan. To request the aid of the Shadowhunters by offering… _Mark_  Blackthorn to his Nephilim family."

Fionn absorbed that information as quickly as possible. Miach?  _Leaving?_  Returning to the Nephilim…leaving behind  _Kieran_. That boy was the best thing that had ever happened to Kieran, the only real love that Kieran had been able to know. Fionn found it entertaining, aiding them in hiding their relationship while watching his brother happy. Fionn  _himself_  had become fond of Miach.

"That…is quite interesting."

"Will you accept this case, or shall I assign another?"

"I will pursue this, yes. Might Kieran be of assistance as well?"

"Kieran was also requested, I desired for you to inform him of what you believe is appropriate, and to keep his emotions from clouding his judgment. I am well aware of his relations with Mark Blackthorn. I know that you are loyal to the mission above all else, as does Iarlath. It is our hope that you will prevent your blood from any foolishness."

Fionn nodded. "I will do so."

Gwyn rose from his seat. "Iarlath shall arrive soon. Prepare yourself, your brother, and Miach."

- _ **TFOT**_ -

"I am skeptical, brother."

"As am I," Fionn said. "Iarlath has never come off as benevolent nor without malice. To trust with him the life of Miach is far from ideal. But should we oppose Iarlath we will no doubt incite his wrath and that of the Court. We must proceed with caution."

"I am uneasy with allowing Mark's fate to be put in Iarlath's hands. And to return him to the Nephilim? The creatures who have abandoned him to the Hunt so callously?"

"When Iarlath arrives, we shall have the details of his plans. Perhaps I can convince him to remake the wording of the deal, give Mark a chance to return with us and still give the Blackthorns enough incentive to be of use."

Kieran still looked unsettled. Fionn himself felt a worrying twist in his stomach. He couldn't imagine their lives without Mark in the Hunt. How could he comfort his brother if he was unsuccessful at allowing Mark to stay? But what about Mark? If Mark  _wanted_  to leave…that had to be his choice. If Fionn was torn from Kieran, or vice versa, what lengths would he go to in order to get his brother back? Would he be willing to give up Hunter for his brother's sake? Fionn would choose Hunter, he had promised that before and he intended to stay loyal to his word. Fionn could only hope that Mark would choose Kieran.

* * *

"The Blackthorns?" Hunter repeated.

"I have grown curious of Miach… _Mark's_  bloodline. Kieran has grown to be very hateful of Nephilim, of the Blackthorns for abandoning Mark so callously."

Hunter sat on his bed. "The Blackthorns…and Emma Carstairs too…they  _love_  Mark, no matter what he looked like. Mark's sister, Helen, they loved her too. It never mattered that they were part faerie, it only mattered that they were Shadowhunters. And Mark loved  _them_. He loved his little siblings, wanted to protect them during the Dark War. Poor Julian - the eldest now that Mark and Helen are gone. He has  _so_ much responsibility on his shoulders. Especially after his parents died, how he had to kill his own father after he was turned into an Endarkened by Sebastian Morgenstern. That was…such a scary time. Andrew had once declared that he'd rather die than become one of those monsters, but in the end…he was forced to drink from that cup and was changed."

"You knew him?"

"Yeah, just a little. I always got along with adults better than children, even as a kid. Andrew Blackthorn was one of the few people who were willing to believe that…that I wasn't messed up for not being what I was expected to. He was raising two half-faeries, having to live with the fact that he had conceived these two children with a faerie and was looked down upon for it. He wasn't like the father I never had or anything, but he wasn't like most Shadowhunters, at the very least. When I saw that he, along with all these others that I had known and met before, had been turned into the Endarkened…it was terrifying. A part of me always asks: why couldn't it have been  _my_  father and not…if I could just spare even  _one_  of them…does that make me a bad person?"

Fae sat down on Hunter's bed next to him. "That depends on your interpretation."

"My father's working his way up the chain of command back in Idris, or so I've been told. He's apparently doing  _some_  good in this world. But if it were up to him, I'd probably never have done what I have right now." Hunter grabbed the seraph violin from his back where it was strapped on. "I'm finally doing this Shadowhunter stuff how  _I_  want to. I'm mixing my talents with my job, my passion with my art. A few years ago, I never would've imagined I could possibly do anything like this. It's thanks to you and the others that I am where I am. I…I can't believe this sometimes. And there are people trying to stop me, make no mistake. I've put a target on my back and made my loyalties clear - I care about Downworlders. I get scared, sometimes, of being in the spotlight, making myself known to the world. It was always so easy, being the nobody that no one knew about and no one remembered. But I've heard the rumors about me. People are growing nervous  _and_  being inspired."

"I am unsurprised. You have always had this strength within you, and I am happy to see your growth."

Hunter chuckled. "Now that you mention the Blackthorns, I think about Emma Carstairs - Julian Blackthorn's parabatai and a close friend of the Blackthorns. She's practically a part of the Blackthorn family in every way but blood. They say that she's going to be the next Jace Herondale, and that's a  _big_  compliment in the Shadowhunter community. But I've heard from some friends that I'm now in competition with her, that she's my biggest enemy in the race for superiority."

"You treat her as such?"

"What?  _No_ , no of course not. Emma's my  _friend_. We've laughed over the so-called competition before. No, it's not that. It's just that I'm rising higher than I ever thought I would before, and it's all thanks to you. And the others, of course, but…mostly you."

Fae gave a small bow. "I am honored to be your consort."

Hunter slipped his seraph violin on his back again. "I'm honored to have you."

They each leaned in for a small kiss before Fae pulled back and wiped some ichor off his cheek. "Ever the romantic, no? Perhaps I should not have come during this hour."

Apparently when Fae had arrived, Hunter had returned from some mission with a small horde of demons. Nothing he couldn't handle, but he wasn't in a very clean state.

Hunter jumped to his feet. "Let me get cleaned up and then we can hang out. I wanna show you this restaurant that Aaron Half-Light recommended to me. He and Merida are in training as Centurions now and we can't have much contact, but we're allowed a couple pre-approved letters. They say they aren't dating, but it's obvious they are."

Hunter walked into his bathroom with a change of clothes while Fae looked around Hunter's room. Apparently, Hunter had unofficially changed his name to Hunter in the Shadowhunter community. Fae wasn't sure what to make of that, but perhaps it was a sign that Hunter wanted to be the person that  _Fae_  knew him as, the one that  _Fae_  had  _made_  him.

Fae laid back on Hunter's bed, taking in his scent while he waited. Fae knew how to be patient, and he fell into a grace period of deep thought to let time go by. He noticed that his own scent was getting mixed into the sheets. It was subtle, but certain creatures might be able to pick up on it. He would have to find a way to remedy that situation.

Fae started to feel a slight bit of discomfort, but he brushed it aside when he couldn't place what it was. After a few minutes it became a very annoying sensation. He sat up, realizing that it was becoming hard to breathe. His skin was getting irritated, particularly lips. And it was spreading. He looked around for a mirrored surface and hurried over to the vanity, seeing that some kind of dark purple/black veins were spreading from his lips, and now it was becoming painful. He was choking, he couldn't breathe. He couldn't speak, his vision and hearing were blurring. He was losing his contact with the rest of his body.

Fae crawled to the door where Hunter had disappeared and used all his strength to pound on it, but he only managed one knock before his arm started to sting with pain and Fae saw that the black veins were spreading down his arm.

There was shouting from Hunter. Fae was wondering what was happening, he was frantically trying to come up with an explanation, and was trying to think of a way to fix this. In the end, he blacked out without answers to any of those thoughts.

- _ **TFOT**_ -

"Lock!  _LOCK!_ "

Hunter dragged Fae through a portal, nearly collapsing from the weight of the two of them. Fae's skin was covered in black veins, a dark magic coursing through his system.

"Help him.  _HELP HIM!_ "

Lock waved his magic over Fae and got to work while Pyre and Wolf held Hunter back and tried to calm him down and get the story of what happened.

"This is  _nasty_ ," Lock muttered. "This is basically every faerie weakness mixed into one with some potent ingredients to make it worse. This kind of alchemy…it's  _more_  than forbidden, but the ingredients to make this stuff can only belong to the worst of the worst."

"Was there magic involved?" Wolf asked.

"No. Quite the opposite, this stuff opposes magic  _heavily_  - and faeries are practically  _made_  of magic. It's a part of their DNA. This won't be easy. We're taking him to my place. Now!"

Lock waved his hand and all of them were teleported to his apartment, but Lock grabbed his hand and hissed in pain.

"What?" Pyre demanded. "What happened?"

"Resistant to magic, remember? I'm not doing any magic for a while now. It's a miracle I got him back here without us getting trapped in limbo between the locations. I'm calling for backup. Hang tight. And Hunter?"

Hunter looked up desperately, clinging to every word.

"Don't go within five feet of him. You're infected too. Point of origin of the poison were his lips. This is a Morgan Le Fay levels of magic - which is magic code for  _bad_. Stay away and let me get Cat and Magnus here."

Hunter wasn't able to move even if he wanted to. No…no, no, no.  _He_  did this. When could he have been given this? It could've been  _any_  time between now and their last encounter. Who could've given it to him? Someone found out about them? But who would have magic that even Lock was inexperienced with, or at the very least had a  _lot_  of trouble countering? Hunter had given it to Fae. Just one innocent kiss had done this. Would Fae recover? What if this was the last time they were together? What if those had been the last words they'd shared? What could Hunter have done to prevent this? Things were going so well, how could it just all turn around like this?

"I need to send a fire message," Hunter announced. "I need  _paper!_  Now!"

- _ **TFOT**_ -

"What's up?" Selina asked as she hopped through a portal. "I got a message from Hunter."

"Quickly! Get me that jar of fulminate!"

Selina grabbed a jar and tossed it over to Lock who was rushing around the room. "What's got you in a twist?"

"It's Fae, now shut up and help me!"

Lock grabbed a couple more items and set them down on a large and messy table filled with alchemist stuff. Lock started throwing together a brew, quick as lightning, and occasionally yelled for Selina to give him something. Luckily she had an infinite knowledge about most things, so it wasn't hard for her to pick out what he wanted and hand it over.

"A Mega-Elixir?" she asked.

"We are code Morgan Le Fey here!  _YES_  A MEGA-ELIXIR!"

"Did I just hear what I think I heard?" Caterina asked, walking through a portal. "You  _never_  call a Morgan Le Fey."

"Need help, magic resistant, danger, Fae!" Lock explained nonsensically.

Luckily Caterina seemed used to it, as she walked into the other room, carrying a medical bag in her hand. "I'll go check on him. Magnus should be here in a second, he's finishing something up."

"Why is he  _always_  busy when I need him?!" Lock hissed, grabbing more items. "I swear, he's  _so_  unreliable! And he's supposed to be a  _parent?!_  By my father, it's probably Alec doing all the work anyway!"

Selina was going to assume he was cursing out his demon father and not Magnus - his adoptive one. Then again, he was using his demon father  _to_  curse out his adoptive one…Lock didn't make sense sometimes.

Caterina pulled Selina off to the side and whispered, "When he gets like this, just smile and nod."

Selina nodded as Cat walked into the other room to help Fae. As Selina watched Lock rush around frantically, she was almost brought to a smile at the sight.

Finally, Lock seemed to realize that she was in the room. "Well what are you just  _standing_  there for?! Go in there and do your Astro-magic thingy!"

Lock left little room for debate.

When Selina arrived in Lock's living room, she found Caterina doing her medical thing. She was almost as efficient as Lock, the only difference being that she was calm and collected as she ordered Pyre and Wolf to do things while Hunter cowered in a corner, seemingly having an existential crisis.

Selina was going to walk over to comfort him, but then she noticed Fae, who was getting medical treatment from Caterina using her human methods. She got a sick feeling just from staring at him, realizing what had happened.

"It's him," Selina hissed as she closed the door to the living behind her.

"What's a  _him?!_ " Lock snapped.

Selina had a feeling that Lock hadn't said that right. "It's Hunter's father! He did this!"

"Great, but how does this information help us?!"

Selina looked around the room and sifted through some ingredients. "We use the only thing that we can."

She grabbed a small bottle and uncorked it, feeling a wave of heat come from it. She exclaimed in disgust. It smelled like gasoline to her. She pulled out a strand of hair and dropped it in, mixing the bottle gently before corking it again as it began to turn from a lava-red to a shimmering mix of red, white, and purple.

"Hellfire," Lock realized. "Of  _course!_  Why didn't I think of that before?! Get him to the fireplace." Lock started screaming into the other room as he ran. "Get him into the fireplace~!"

- _ **TFOT**_ -

"What  _is_  that?" Caterina asked.

"Hellfire," Magnus said simply. "Dangerous stuff. Where'd you  _get_  that, Veon?"

"Friend gave it to me," Lock explained. "Said it was a present. The arrogant jerk acted like he was being benevolent when I'd actually done a  _lot_  to help him and was due payment. Really."

"Phoenix," Selina realized. "It had to have been Phoenix, right?"

Lock nodded. "Guess so."

She sighed and continued her work. "Things come full circle. How poetic." She mixed in the rest of the spell Lock had been working on before adding the Hellfire and quickly working her magic. "The fireplace ready?"

"He's all wrapped up and prepared," Lock agreed.

The mix began to heat up rapidly before bursting into a flame as hot as thermite. She quickly tossed the lava-like brew onto Fae as he was set ablaze. Magnus snapped for a (stylish as always) welding mask to appear on his face while Veon just put on some sunglasses.

" _This_  is supposed to  _heal_  him?!" Caterina demanded, blocking the light with her arm.

"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing," Selina assured her. "I think."

It was soon clear that the Hellfire brew wasn't going to diminish any time soon, and so the others split off to do what they wanted. Magnus and Veon got into a nice conversation about how Magnus's life was going with Alec and their children while Cat and Selina started speaking together about girl stuff. Hunter, meanwhile, took up Veon's offer for sunglasses and stared at Fae silently.

"What's wrong with Finnegan?" Caterina asked.

"A lot of fear, guilt," Selina said. "I think he blames himself for allowing this to happen. He's worried Fae won't get up again, realizing how dangerous they can be for each other."

"What even  _happened_  to him? I've treated faerie diseases before, some pretty creative, but that stuff was dangerous. I've never seen anything like it."

"It's a combination of some powerful alchemy and witchcraft."

"So a warlock might be responsible?"

"A witch. There's a difference. The witches of faerie have it out against us Astrals, basically the gods of faerie. It's the classic story about them wanting our power, and to defeat us, they needed to make us turn against each other. We call it the Scourge. It's so far incurable and more than deadly for Astrals."

"What makes a witch different from a warlock?"

"Witches aren't born with their power, they get it by alchemic means. There's a particular group of them that made the Scourge and are ambitious enough to desire the destruction of all things, and whatnot. They want to become Astrals themselves, but first they have to drive the rest of us to extinction - and there are a lot of us. What better than a disease that turns our kind against each other? One that spreads to every Astral who comes into contact with the infected?"

"So you're saying this Scourge was used on this faerie?"

"He was once an Astral, but there's something wrong with him. Whatever it is, it may have just saved his life. By not being a full Astral, the Scourge wasn't able to infect him completely, else he would've turned on us pretty quickly rather than just debilitating him. I've studied the Scourge before, but my knowledge is limited. I can't get too close without…you know."

"You sound very scared of it."

"More than scared. More than terrified. I fear it like nothing else. And I suspect that Hunter -  _Finn's_  - father might be a witch. That's how Hunter got the Scourge, though since he wasn't an Astral, he merely carried it like a rat."

"Have you told him? About your suspicions?"

"He was never close with his father anyway, but I don't want him to do anything foolish. After this, he'd jump in head-first without knowing what he was getting himself into. I can't let him do that, he'd die for sure."

"Silence doesn't always protect people, but I suppose I understand your point."

"I've never liked Phoenix. If you knew the real him, you'd understand why immediately. But I find that I don't want  _Fae_  to die. Fae is different. It almost took me too long to realize it, caught up in my grudge against him."

"And what about now? Still angry? Holding this grudge of yours?"

Selina shrugged. "Nah. I'm just kinda…okay with it all."

"What do you think changed that?"

"Seeing Hunter with Fae, seeing that he hasn't changed from the person I knew, meeting all these friends. I don't have a lot of friends. I've always been alone."

Cat smiled. "You shouldn't have to be alone. You're never alone with immortals. Trust me, we can bug Magnus and Veon together for eternity.  _Someone's_  gotta do it."

Selina smiled. "Yeah, I'd be fine with that."

- _ **TFOT**_ -

"Enough about  _me_ ," Magnus said. "Wow, can't believe that just came out of my mouth."

Veon chuckled. "Alec really must've done a number on you."

"Hush, he's wonderful and you're just jealous. Anyway, how's it going with your girl?"

Veon thought back. "I don't have a girl."

"Really?"

"Really. Unless I'm suffering from memory loss. Am I suffering from memory loss?!"

Magnus sighed as Veon began to panic dramatically. "I meant the Shadowhunter girl, or whatever she really is."

"Hm?" Veon blinked. "I don't have a Shadowhunter girl."

Magnus nodded toward where Cat and Selina were standing. "What about that one? You know, the one covered in runes and the parabatai of the boy over there?"

Veon blinked. " _Oh!_  Yeah, Selina's a bit of an oddball case. You see, she's  _sorta_  a Shadowhunter, but not  _completely_  a Shadowhunter."

Veon did his best to explain what Selina was, but in the end, he danced around the point so much that Magnus started zoning out. Veon was rambling, and he only did that when he was nervous about liking someone or he was panicking about getting some spell right - both of which were probably happening at the same time now. Magnus just tuned it out and sipped his cup of hot chocolate that he summoned for himself.

"Anyway, where'd you get the idea that we were  _together?_  I mean I've been helping her with this little deadly issue, but beyond that, we're  _nothing_  more than friends, I  _assure_  you."

Veon said that so fast that Magnus had no doubt he was tense right now and lying his scaled ass off. " _Whatever_  you say, Ve."

- _ **TFOT**_ -

"You think we should talk to him?" Pyre asked Wolf.

"He's not juggling…" Wolf considered. "I guess it's safe to approach. But what do we say?"

"Comforting things. Let's be all comforting and stuff."

"Like you know how to be comforting."

"As if  _you're_  any better!"

"Just  _go!_ "

He shoved her forward and she hissed and pulled him along too.

" _Heeeeey_  Hunt," they said together nervously.

"It's my fault," Hunter said meekly.

"Oh boy," they sighed in unison.

"I did it," Hunter muttered in a daze.

"You're a woman,  _do_  something," Wolf muttered. "Aren't girls good at stuff like this?"

She kicked him in the shin before moving to sit down next to him cautiously. "Come on, Hunter. He's gonna be  _fine_. Lock, Cat, Magnus, your parabatai, they're all on the case. Look at the fire they made! That'll totally do the trick. He'll be up and running, good as new, in no time."

"I keep ruining his life."

"Are we sure he can even hear us?" Wolf asked.

"Hush," Pyre chided. "Hunter? Come on, look at me, buddy."

Hunter reluctantly looked up at Pyre, and she saw that he was panicking. His eyes were looking for some explanation, something that would make him feel better, but it wasn't like he hadn't heard it all before. It was significantly different from the first panicked Hunter that she'd met. Back when he'd first been introduced, Hunter was scared, but there had also been a hopelessness. He had given up on his future and was just wondering what he was supposed to do now that he  _hadn't_  died.

"Everything's fine, Hunter. Fae's gonna get better in no time, everything'll return to normal. What's  _really_ wrong here, honey? I can tell there's something else bothering you."

The energy drained out of his eyes and he slumped. "Everything's spiraling out of control."

"Oh, it's  _never_  been in control. You just got used to that loss of control, just letting the world take you where it did. That's the only way to survive here, get used to the chaos. Just take a deep breath and relax, okay?"

He nodded and relaxed against her, even if she wasn't warm since she was technically dead and she had no blood pumping through her veins. He tried to breathe and dispel his growing worry. What was he even worried about, anyway? Fae was getting the best treatment ever, nothing was going to get out about it since Cat and Magnus were very trustworthy, and Fae would be up and running without a hitch. There was nothing he could see going wrong, right?

Even so, why did Hunter have this terrible feeling that refused to go away?

- _ **TFOT**_ -

"I think he's waking up," Lock announced.

"By all the gods, you are  _loud_ ," Fae muttered. "Go away."

"He's up!"

"Prissy as ever," Wolf commented.

"Aw, he almost sounded like a  _normal_  person being  _woken up in the morning_ ," Pyre crooned.

"Shut up, Pyre," Fae muttered.

"Aw, and he's learned so well from me!"

"He learned from me too," Wolf argued.

"Nothing like teaching a faerie to have an attitude."

"I hate you all right now," Fae declared.

"Aw, but we find you quite appealing," Selina said sarcastically.

"Eat flames, Seline."

The Hellfire in the fireplace flared up and forced them all to take a step back.

" _Ow_  man! Sensitive to heat here!" Pyre complained. "Just because I can  _stand_  fire, doesn't mean it doesn't burn like the sun when up close!"

Fae grumbled without any words.

"Just give him some space," Lock advised. He motioned to Selina. "Come, we have things to discuss."

- _ **TFOT**_ -

"Okay, so this witch made that curse, but  _why?_ " Lock summarized.

"He knows that Fae is an Astral," Selina declared. "How he even figured out about Fae in the first place…"

"We have a plan of attack?"

"Don't go near him, keep away. We need to be extremely careful or else…I don't know what'll happen."

Lock put his hand on hers. "It'll be okay, Selina. I'm here for you, we all are. There's gotta be a way. Look, I've cooked up a spell that'll help you locate any magical waves, especially the witchcraft kind. This'll show you different energy signatures. There's no way to hide magic without more magic. Even if the magic is giving off a harmless vibe, this'll allow you to see it."

Selina took the vial that Lock handed to her. "I don't know, Lock. I've seen a lot of things try and stand up to this force. I don't wanna go back there, I don't wanna risk seeing him, going mad, helpless to control my actions. I'll be one more victim in a line of so many others."

"You're not used to being scared," Lock deduced. "This is the first time you've really taken it all in, huh?"

"I'm an Astral, a goddess. There's never been anything that can harm me. To think that I just…can't do  _anything_ …it scares me beyond all I've ever experienced. I wanna run so badly, I wanna just hide and let this all pass over me, hope that someone else gets infected instead of me so that I'll be left alone. That's what we Astrals do. We run and hide and hope that we're not the next victims. If something's too powerful for us, we don't know what to do. We're too used to being the strongest that we don't know what to do when we're weak, when something threatens our kind. Despite how long this battle has been going on, we haven't made  _any_  progress in this fight. I've seen the power that these witches are capable of. At this point, they seem invincible, and one misstep and…I'm done for. Never really took it in until now."

"If you want, I can accompany you more often. You know, for protection."

She chuckled. "I wouldn't be opposed to it. I'd rather not be alone right now. With Fae catching the Scourge and narrowly surviving, suddenly the threat seems so much closer."

"You won't be alone if you tell the others about this."

"How do I tell Hunter that his father is some beast that I'm afraid of without freaking him out? He'd become nervous every time that he saw his dad, and once his father realized he knows the truth, he won't hold back against Hunter. We need to figure out what he wants and how he's gonna do it. How about those samples?"

"He's Shadowhunter, but there's definitely something wrong with him. There are low levels of magic residue that I was able to pick out - not an easy thing, impossible for any amateurs and even intermediates. Only a pro could spot this stuff, but it's interesting indeed. I've based the magic-sensing spell on it, gave it a point to start with and allowed it to adapt over time."

Selina sighed and uncorked the vial, drinking it down and allowing its effects to take place. It was only a moment later that she felt a switch inside her, one that she flicked on before seeing Lock glowing with a sparkling green aura.

"So, it working?" Lock asked.

She nodded. "Yup. You're dazzling with magic."

He flicked his hair. "Obviously." He grabbed a notebook. "Now, onto business. I've done some asking around about these witches in Faerie, and apparently they're very notorious for being not very notorious."

"That made no sense."

"All kinds of people have heard about them, they're regulars in the Shadow Market, but it's a don't ask don't tell situation. There are countless different sources, countless different witches."

"That makes sense. Even we Astrals haven't gotten a confirmed headcount."

"Here's the research on that vaccine that I mentioned. I think I've distinguished what part of you makes you Astral, something that a virus could seek out and detect. Science has made significant progress in these recent years, so this isn't as hard a process as it might've once been. We'll get them, Selina. Just you watch."

She smiled lightly. "You confidence is what makes me most uneasy."

"Fake it till you make it - number one rule of being immortal."

She stared out the window of Lock's study. "Guess I've never properly thought of it that way before. I might try that."

* * *

"Damn you."

"Love you too, Phoenix," Selina muttered. "You're half-delirious from your encounter with the Scourge, hating every Astral you come into contact with. Though I believe it's a lot better than it could be. You would be rampaging with unstoppable power, driving yourself to pure madness, your very essence sucked away by your own power. Self destruction at its finest."

"You ruin everything I have."

"Are you even listening to me?"

She looked closer at Fae and realized that he was asleep and just muttering things to his dreams. She'd been talking to a half-delirious, half- _asleep_  faerie for the past half hour.

She sighed. "You know, I've always wondered who you were before you were an Astral. I mean how'd a jerk like you end up being worthy? Even if your sire wanted to make you an Astral, the process wouldn't work if you weren't worthy. So what the heck made  _you_  worthy?"

"This is what I must do…" he muttered.

"I mean you're an asshole! Sure, as a faerie in this life, you're actually semi-decent, but once your memories come back, we'll all be begging to kill you."

"I cannot kill you again…"

"Though I guess you'd be completely fine with being killed, huh Phoenix? Getting killed is like your breakfast."

"You will be fine, Scion…"

"And another thing-! What did you just say?"

"That is not your choice to make…"

"Fae, what about Scion? Phoenix? You remember something?"

"Goodbye, my Hunter…do not be sad…meet again in the next life…"

Selina blinked. "You  _wished_  for it. You didn't do it on  _purpose_. You weren't reborn of your own will. Someone else did it. Someone else must've done this, and they're the reason you haven't gotten your memories back yet. But only an  _Astral_  can control rebirth, a witch could never do it. Nor warlocks or regular faeries."

"That is not my name…"

"I was going to interview your brother and sister, but every time I tried, our schedules never connected, I couldn't get them alone. Time to take drastic measures."

- _ **TFOT**_ -

Hunter moved over to the fireplace carefully, staring at Fae's sleeping face. It made him want to kiss the faerie right there if he wasn't engulfed in blinding flames that would probably melt his face off if he got too close.

"That is not my name…I must go, my Hunter…"

Hunter listened as Fae started to ramble on lines to him, probably having a dream. He started to repeat himself a couple of times, and Hunter, having nothing better to do, began to seek out a notepad and pencil to write down his words. Hunter finally wrote down the end before Fae repeated himself again before it finally clicked where Hunter had heard this before.

"My dream…you're having my dream…"

Fae's eyes snapped open as though he'd just woken from a dream where he was falling. He looked up and saw Hunter, who tossed the notepad and pencil on the couch in order to crouch in front of Fae, careful not to get too close.

"Fae? How you feeling?"

He groaned, looking like he hadn't slept in ages despite having been passed out for nearly a day now. "I feel…fatigued. How my head aches…"

"I'm sorry. It's my fault."

"The fault lies not with you. You are simply the medium in every instance. My enemies are great in number, and you are not intending to do me harm."

Hunter sighed. "It starts to get scary after a while. One day I'm gonna give you some curse that you aren't gonna recover from."

"Have you the source of this incursion?"

"Lock and Selina are working on it. Cat and Magnus left for other stuff - Cat's got a job and Magnus… _also_ has a job, and a son, and a husband. Pyre and Wolf had to go their separate ways, but I suspect they're going to retry their first date for the third time since we interrupted their next attempt. They were actually asking Lock for help making sure nothing happened when we arrived."

Fae blinked and slumped in guilt. "We have done them wrong. We must find a way to atone for our crimes."

"Um…yeah. We can do that later. For now, we should focus on getting you back on your feet."

Fae leaned back into the fireplace. He was wrapped in a fireproof blanket that Lock designed and Fae seemed very comfortable. Hunter only wished he could crawl into the blanket beside Fae and comfort him. Or really, allow Fae to comfort  _Hunter_.

"I'm sorry again."

Fae shrugged with a small smile. "Your apologies shall soon become a greater threat than any curse. They pierce my heart more than any wound I have succumbed to."

"Sorry," Hunter sighed, dropping his head. "I just really care and I don't wanna…I don't wanna think that it was my fault that you got hurt, that you  _died_. I've had enough death for a few lifetimes."

Fae chuckled. "Death should be no daily occurrence for any sane man or woman."

" _Everything_  in the Shadow World's insane, that's for sure."

The two of them laughed together and started to make small talk, waiting for Fae's fire to die out. Even after the flames died, he was still hot to the touch. Hunter went into the kitchen and got some microwave waffles from Lock's kitchen and cooked them on Fae's arm to both of their amusement. Fae found them delicious.

Then they nearly burned down Lock's apartment.

"Has anyone seen my - oh my father!" Lock exclaimed.

"He's still over 400 degrees!" Hunter announced.

Lock waved his hand and sprayed out a cloud of CO2 like he was a fire extinguisher at the two of them, making a very unamused Nephilim and faerie.

"What in the angel's name are you two doing?" Lock demanded.

"I wanted to see if he could set this paper on fire with just his skin," Hunter explained meekly. "He can."

Lock rolled his eyes. "And why did you think that was a good idea?"

"I wanted to see if he was cooled down yet!"

"It takes  _days_  for him to cool down after Hellfire. It's a miracle he's already been put out. He won't cool down fully for another two days or so."

"Well it did  _kinda_  serve a purpose," Hunter argued. "I sent a fire message to Selina. She hasn't responded for hours now, so I was sending another and a few embers set the carpet on fire…"

Lock sighed. "Well, no harm no foul in the end. Just don't try that again. And Fae? Stay in the fireplace."

"Yes sir," Fae saluted.

Lock let out a deep breath and went back to his study. "I'll be working if you need me. I guess I figured out where my notepad went."

As Lock departed, Hunter and Fae stared at each other, and the moment the door was closed, they broke out into laughter. Hunter loved seeing Fae laugh. He was always so calm and collected normally, so when he was relaxed enough to laugh, it was all the more special.

"That was quite amusing," Fae admitted. "But your parabatai's absence worries me as well. Perhaps you shall contact her with a fire message with your rune."

"I'll do that. But first I have to find some more paper."

Just as he stood to do that, Selina appeared in a flash before them. "Hey guys. Sup?"

"Seels! Where have you been? Did you get my fire message?"

"Oh, right. I think I read it and then I was like 'I'll get to this in a sec' and I never did. Sorry. In any case, you won't  _believe_  what I found out!"

"Where'd you go in the first place?"

"Well, I started to think that maybe whatever happened to Phoenix wasn't his fault at all, maybe something else was interfering, and so I went over to the Unseelie Court to investigate some of his siblings and turns out that the first one I got to was actually-"

" _Seline!_ " Fae hissed.

He stood and stepped toward her out of the fireplace, his footsteps singeing the carpet as he took her by the shirt and started to burn the fabric with his touch.

" _You_  did this! What the hell do you  _want_ , you bitch?!"

"Fae, stop!" Hunter exclaimed. "What are you doing?!"

"It's okay, Hunter, it's just the side effects," Selina said quickly. "He's still getting over the infection, it's still blurring his mind. He'll be angered at any Astral he comes into contact with, but hopefully not enough to do any damage."

"You little monster!" Fae turned and slammed her up against the wall. "This is all your fault! Everyone I've ever cared for, everyone who's ever loved me, they're always torn away from me because of  _you!_ "

"Fae!"

Selina held her hand out to stop Hunter from advancing. "Phoenix, calm down. This isn't you. You never let anything control you, you never let anyone have the victory of knowing that they've affected you. You're being manipulated."

"By  _you!_  You curse me, over and over again - you nearly  _killed_  me this time! Does it make you happy to see me suffer?! You get a  _kick_  out of seeing me die?!"

"It wasn't me, Phoenix, I  _swear_. This was the Scourge, not-"

"What  _are_  you, Selina? What  _trickery_  have you performed?! Why must you ruin  _all_  that I hold dear?!"

"Stop it!" Hunter snapped. "That's  _enough!_  Stop it,  _right now!_ "

Hunter shouted something, but though his voice projected outwards, his words became lost, as though everyone stopped paying attention at the wrong moment and missed what he said. Whatever it was, Fae seemed to have heard it clearly, tensing up and standing straighter almost against his will. His breaths became shallow in shock, his eyes widened, and his grip on Selina released against his will. Then he fell to kneel in front of Hunter, hanging his head with one arm across his back and the other with his palm against the ground.

"Fae…?" Hunter asked nervously. "By the angel…I did it, didn't I? I'm sorry!" He invoked Fae's true name again to release him. "Fae? Are you-?"

"I hate you," Fae spat. "I  _hate_  you! I hate you all! I hate your guts, Hunter! You  _promised!_  You promised and you broke it! Everyone  _always_  lies to me! You  _lied_  to me! About everything! Why would I ever trust a  _Shadowhunter?!_  I've lost my  _mind!_ "

Hunter flinched back at the declaration and Selina caught his arm to steady him.

Fae stood. " _Congratulations_ , Seline. You've won again. I hope you're happy."

"I'm not  _happy_ , Phoenix-"

"That's not my  _name!_ " he snapped at the top of his lungs.

"What is going  _on_  in here-?"

"Shut it, warlock!"

Lock flinched and grit his teeth. "You don't speak to me like that, Faerie. What has gotten into your head?!"

Fae gripped his temples, breathing hard. "What has gotten in…?" he muttered like a maniac. "I don't know. I just know I want it out. There's this little bug, floating around in here and it's eating away at my thoughts, my brain, my mind. I need it out, I need it out, I need it  _out!_ "

"He's lost it," Selina breathed. "The Scourge has taken him."

"What's that mean?" Hunter demanded. "How do we  _fix_  it?!"

"You don't fix  _anything_ , Nephilim!" Fae snapped. "Stay out of my life! All of you! Just stay away!"

He ran. He sprinted out the door and down the hall.

"Wait, Fae-!"

"Let him go, Hunter," Lock said firmly.

Hunter turned back. "What do you mean? How can you say that? We can't just  _leave_  him like that!"

"You need to let him cool down, get ahold of himself. In all the time I've known him, Fae has  _never_  let something take his mind for long. When he senses that something's interfering with his thoughts, he just sits alone and goes into his own mind. He's mentally trained himself to disconnect from his conscious mind and dig around in there for errors and corruption. It's a special mental technique that requires a little magic and a  _lot_  of training. He'll get his wits back. This is Fae we're talking about. For now, we need to figure out what triggered him and prevent it from happening again when we next see him."

"It was me," Selina sighed. "He reacted to me. The Scourge makes Astrals target other Astrals, and my presence while he was conscious must've triggered the Astral part of his subconscious. After that…well, think of it like food coloring in a glass of water. Once that small drop has infected the thing, there's no way to keep it from spreading, there's no way to get it out. It touched his Astral side and it was all over."

"But maybe lack of contact with other Astrals can suppress the infection," Lock suggested.

"What did you come to tell us, anyway?" Hunter asked.

"Oh, right. Fae's sister. I found out something you won't believe. She's Brynhildr.  _The_  Brynhildr!"

Hunter blinked. "Uh…you mean that girl from a Norse story or something? If I've ever heard that name before, it wasn't that  _significant_  to me."

"Ring of fire, tragic love story?" Lock recalled.

Selina nodded. "Yeah, yeah, but in the world of Astrals, she's a  _legend!_  She's the  _direct_  descendant of the Infernian line, the chosen one of Ifrit of the Hexatheon…"

"Geez, you wanna marry her or something?" Lock asked.

She rolled her eyes. "I guess I never should've expected  _you_  to understand. In any case, she's got a husband already. But my point is that she's one of the most powerful Astrals in existence, just short of the Hexatheon themselves - basically the top of the top Astrals. Anyway, she's been trying to figure out what's happened to Phoenix as well, but I never thought she'd actually be  _here_ , in the  _flesh!_  Of course, she's a very scary woman, but we're getting along, or I'd like to think so, anyway."

"Okay, slow down, Seels," Hunter ordered. "Did she provide any info on what's happened to Fae?"

"She wanted to explain it all in person, but suffice to say that she knew that Phoenix was reborn under different circumstances and she's trying to figure out the side effects - his lack of memory being one of them. She wants to tell us all the story of how it happened, there are a lot of details that we apparently don't have yet, but she's under the watchful eye of the king. She wants to keep her position in his Court for information - he knows she's an Astral but doesn't know the true measure of her power. She'll come and see us when she can, or send some messages, but for now, she says that if we ever have an emergency, we can contact her for help. She wants to know all about us."

"I've never seen her fangirl so hard," Hunter muttered.

"It would be cute if it weren't irritating," Lock commented.

"Jealous?"

"Of  _course_  not. This is just so out of character for her."

"Seels never really  _had_  a character in the first place. Astral or not."

- _ **TFOT**_ -

Fae ran up the stairs and out to the roof, taking a deep breath in the cool morning air. Everything in his chest hurt, he felt the sting of betrayal and the unquenched rage burning up along with the rest of him.

He needed to find something to hit, right now.

He whistled and summoned his horse, jumping aboard and flying across the sky. Luckily his horse wasn't affected by the heat rolling off his body, but the steed  _did_  seem agitated by his mood. He commanded the horse to just ride and it complied, though not without hesitance. Fae ignored the horse's feelings, and Zoltan - afraid of the wrath that would occur should he anger his master when he was in this mood - simply opted to obey until he figured out what to do about this. They rode across the skies into Faerieland before Zoltan landed on the ground and continued running the old fashion way. They rode into a forest. Plenty of Astrals around here to unleash his fury upon.

Fae jumped off his horse at a spring where he instinctively knew that Astrals gathered and walked up to the water's edge, bringing out his knife. To even faeries and skilled magic users, the Astrals were invisible and/or blended into the scenery, but all Fae had to do was concentrate and he could see them all clearly. There were dozens of nature Astrals - Astrals of bugs and water and trees and plants. All gathered in a nice little grouping. They weren't major Astrals, but they gave off enough of an aura that made him want to rip them all to shreds, feel their life forces pop like a balloon at his bidding.

That Hunter had known his true name, and that made his blood boil. Who would dare have power over him? Fae wouldn't be a puppet, he wouldn't let his free will be controlled by someone who wanted to change him. He had trusted Hunter, he had thought things would be different, but in the end, becoming parabatai with Hunter, growing up with him attached together, gave Selina the advantage over him. Fae couldn't do anything, not as he was. He didn't know Seline, he wasn't Phoenix.

Wait, why had he trusted that Shadowhunter in the first place? He couldn't recall.

He knew Selina was his enemy though. Seline the Lunarian had done nothing but cause him despair and revel in it. Why couldn't he do anything? Was he Phoenix? Was he Fae? Who was Fae? Why was he called Fae? That wasn't his name. What  _was_  his name? It started with an 'F' sound, right?

Who  _cared?!_  He was angry, he was going to  _destroy!_

A wave of panic swept out across the Astrals at the pond. They could sense his intentions and they scattered, but they wouldn't be able to escape him. He raised his weapon and felt the energy build up for a charged attack.

"Fionn?"

He froze. His muscles relaxed against his will, and his mind began to clear. What was he doing here?

The energy faded from his blade and he lowered it. What was he attacking? There was nothing there. Just a small pond. It was certainly pretty, but attacking the water didn't seem to be doing him any good. There weren't even fish in there. What was he trying to kill?

"Fionn, what has occurred to bring you here?"

Fionn turned and saw Kieran, sitting atop Windspear with Mark Blackthorn behind him, the half-Shadowhunter's arms wrapped around Fionn's brother's waist.

"I would inquire such myself, brother," Fionn muttered.

He dropped his blade in shock and stared at his trembling hand. What in the gods' names had happened?

Kieran dismounted and walked over to his brother, pushing his chin up so that their eyes met as Kieran examined them. "What ails you, Fionn Flann?"

"I…I fail to find words. I recall the past few minutes, and yet I do not recall my feelings. How I felt,  _what_  I felt…I find I cannot comprehend it."

"Let us return to the Hunt," Mark announced.

"Yes, that is best," Kieran agreed. "Can you ride your steed?"

Fionn nodded.

"Then let us make haste."

"Is there a cause for panic?"

Kieran remounted Windspear in front of Mark. "You have been gone many days, brother. We feared the time of Faerieland would impede your presence."

"Iarlath is due to arrive today, Fionn Flann," Mark informed him. "And he has requested an audience with us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: "Your Reality" from Doki Doki Literature Club


End file.
